This Friday we face our most hated, crispy rival. In a game more heated than a toaster our Hokies take on that crusty group of zima-sipping toast-eaters. I'm not worried though. Beating Hoos is our bread and butter. Our offense will simply spread them out, then jam the ball up the middle. Meanwhile our Lunch Pail Defense will come to feast on our slightly crunchy foes. We'll preserve the lead while the cavalier crowd turns the color of avocado with envy. They'll be totally jelly of our high-scoring, hard-hitting ways.
The heat of a game lasts a full 60 minutes, and just like the slice of toast our opponents revere, by the end of the match the Hoos will be nothing but a dried out, tasteless husk of themselves. Us Hokies, however, are more like a fresh batch of yeast rolls...put us in the oven and we rise to the occasion.
So in conclusion: Hokies are Champs, Hoos are Toast.
Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll.