The calendar tells me New Year's Day is in January, and the top of the schedule reads September. But for we the college football-crazed, the real beginning of the year comes in August, when official practices start, tickets arrive and a randomly cool Sunday morning fills the air with the scent of FOOTBALL.
And as most major world religions would tell you, when making a new beginning, it's important to own up to your failings. Hokie fandom is no different. So, meet The Key Play's contributors as we offer our confessions and humbly request the Hokie Bird's forgiveness, then share your own in the comments. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, you know.
--
Eric
My 25 year old self would've hated me.
I like Scott Stadium and not just because the Hokies keep winning there. From a visual perspective both the looks of the interior and the fan sight lines are better than Lane Stadium. It holds 60k very well, makes it almost quaint and there isn't a bad seat to watch the action in the place. The absent noise level, hand holding and lack of badassness make it sub par, but it would be a rocking stadium for the right fan base. I would never trade Lane, but if I had to pick another stadium to watch a Hokie win, this is as good as any.
I would rather listen to both my kids scream/cry for 1 hour than listen to the Hokie Hotline or another post game show when Frank Beamer or Bryan Stinespring are on. Only Bud Foster and Coach Cav make it worth the listen. Coach speak ranks right up there with bogus 40 times as my biggest annoyances in college football. Beamer has mastered coach speak and Stiney can deflect blame or give a nonsensical answer to a question like it's nobody's business. Reading the recap is much less painful and saves a bunch of time.
I like Coach Paul Johnson. Yes, he's a prick, yeah, he pushes the limits of the rules in a bullshit way (with bullshit excuses) and yes he hired algroh. However, I like that he coaches with a chip on his shoulder and that he is always tinkering with his offense, like Bud does with his defense. I like that he gives no quarter and that his teams go for blood. I like that he is surly, he is anti-coach speak and gives the "I'm not playing the political game" crap. Like Spurrier (when he was surrounded by Florida talent) he gives off this, I'm not like the rest vibe and I like it, alot. Don't get me wrong I want the Jackets to lose and the next time his team does illegal blocking, I will rightfully bitch, but deep down, I like him.
Joe
When I watch games at Lane Stadium I'm not engrossed in the game. You can blame that on the a-a-a-a-alcohol. Here's how I operate on gamedays in Lane:
- When the defense is on the field I get loud.
- During TV timeouts I'm sluggin' bourbon airplane bottles.
- When we score I high five everyone I can reach.
- I shoot the shit about the game with anyone that'll listen.
- I try to analyze why things aren't going right for the offense/defense.
By the second half, because of the the tailgating and drinking during the game, I pretty much just yell and go crazy when we score. Conversely when I watch on TV I'm focused. I even take notes and re-watch plays.
We need to resume the series with WVU. I hate the Mountaineers as much as the next Hokie and in part that total disgust is what makes the rivalry special. Plus, you know, unlike the Hoos they beat us. It chaps my ass when they do, but it makes our wins against them that much better.
I only went to one game my freshman year (UConn). It's shameful and I regret that I missed out 5 other home games. I've also never gone to a bowl game. I'm saving myself for our next National Championship appearance.
Josh
I miss the Pitt rivalry. Like Boston College in recent years, Pitt during my student time always seemed to take our game a notch more seriously than they did the rest of the conference schedule; it was infuriating when they went and lost to a grossly inferior team the week after. Unlike BC, they had serious football fans, and the city is an easy (and fun!) roadtrip.
I'm not convinced Bud Foster will be a good replacement for Frank Beamer when he retires. As Eric says above, Foster doesn't do coachspeak; unfortunately, there's a reason coachspeak proliferates among successful head coaches. Kissing up to high-dollar boosters and egotistical recruits/parents is a key responsibility of the head man, too, and I don't think kissing anyone's rear end is or ever will be on Bud's to-do list. The odds are against anyone who takes the place of a legend unless the legend makes a mess of his last few years to offer a lower standard of comparison (c.f. Bobby Bowden); I don't know that Bud's an exception to that rule, nor do I think Coach Beamer is going to Bowden things up before he goes.
My season tickets probably won't last through the next reseating cycle. 2005 got me into solid east-side seats close to an upper-level ramp without a donation increase. Given the slide in my priority number despite continuous donation, I'd probably have to double my cash outlay to keep those seats, and I can beat that per-seat cost on eBay or the sidewalk without even trying hard.
I live in Charlottesville, and it's not a bad place to be a Hokie. The 2.5-hour drive to Lane is great, real Hoos don't talk much smack, and the local non-alumni Hoo fans who call in to sports talk shows to whine about academic superiority are hilarious -- I don't think they could spell either word. It would be much, much harder to be a Hoo in Blacksburg.
--
I don't know about Joe and Eric, but I feel better already. How about the rest of you guys? Let's hear it.
with apologies to the original concept at EDSBS
Comments
My Lane Stadium Confessions
-- Sometimes I agree with the coaching staff about the O woes that, "the players just didn't execute the plays."
-- I refuse to take alcohol into Lane Stadium because girls wear bras and cops won't search their boobs.
-- I yell at the coaching staff for not running the same plays or using the same strategies that work for me in the video games, but I cuss out the guys in front of me who always say "USE THE SPY" when we face a mobile QB, because the "SPY" never works for me in the video games, so why would it work in real life? It is called "DE CONTAIN"! Just hand me the playbook, Bud.
It's the simple things...
I feel enlightened by this revelation. When I was in school I poured the booze into freezer bags that I duct taped to my inner thigh. All I had to do was ask girl to stick some airplane bottles in her bra.
back in my day
we had guys who would buy franzia boxes of wine for their gf's. when emptied, fill it full bourbon and then tape the bag to the inside of their coats with the spout facing fwd, obviously.
during the game, hold cup at belly, open jacket, dispense bourbon from the tab.
pretty kickass.
don't ask me about the guy who lived on barger street who went to games in depends though. ::shudder::
Haha
I bet a lot of people shit themselves during the Michael Vick years. But seriously did he soak depends with alcohol or am I reading way too much into this.
he tailgated at home
and didn't want to walk down to piss, so .....
Oh... My...
How oblivious can I be?
Damn
That's some dedicated fans with weak bladders. Just hold it. But then not everyone could go under the NE bleachers...
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned against the Hokies. It has been nearly 27 years since my last confession.
- When I was nine I owned a UVa shirt. I was young and impressionable and my grandparents thought I should like both teams from the Commonwealth. My Hokie-loving aunt chastised me and told me to "take that damn thing off". Now, I refuse to even wear orange and navy blue together at the same time.
- After the USC game in 2004 I threatened to break up with my girlfriend at the time because we started dating right after the 2003 Miami game and I blamed her for all of our losses. I told her that if we lost to Western Michigan in week 2 that she was a goner. After we lost to NC State to fall to 2-2 I told her that if we lost to West Virginia she was a goner. She stayed with me despite this and two years later I dumped her for a slut with large boobs who wound up cheating on me.
- I like Bryan Stinespring.
- I think Greg Boone was overrated.
- We lost the 2000 Sugar Bowl because I forgot to take the lucky Virginia Tech rabbits foot I bought at the 1993 Independence Bowl with me to New Orleans.
- Up until I was 24 I cried every time we lost a football game.
- I don't want to play West Virginia ever again because I like being able to say we beat them the last two times we played, including handing them their only defeat in 2005.
- I've let my current girlfriend go above the Hokies on my personal ladder of importance. My desire to save money and prove to her I can be a rational human during the months of September through January is the sole reason I won't be at the Boise State game.
Please have pity on my soul for I am merely a wretch in the eyes of your Hokie holiness.
Shocked
I am shocked....shocked I say that F4H allows anything or anyone to get between him and his first true love, Hokie football. What is Hokie football all about if you can't go crazy between the months of September to January?
2008 ECU
After the game I threw something of relatively little value against the wall, breaking it, and stormed into my room and slammed the door. A few minutes later my girlfriend at the time opened it and began to say something before I yelled, "Now's not the fucking time, alright?" Later we got into a fight over "how I was acting." I dumped her after the Furman game.
"NOT NOW, DAMMIT."
was my reply to a boyfriend at the time after the alabama loss. he didn't get why i was so upset and didn't want to be touched. he told me i was being ridiculous because we lost, i told him he was gay. breakup ensued.
Bless me Gobbler for I have sinned
- When I was in middle school I used to wanted to attend the University of Virginia because they had the better swim team at the time. (give me a break, I lived in California at the time and didn't know any better). Years later when I swam for VT I vowed never to lose to a Hoo. In fact, the last swim of my career at Olympic Trials was beating the Hoo next to me. Never a better way to end a career, but I'm still atoning...
- Ive taken a liking to most WVU fans since we stopped playing each other. Although I'd gladly go back to spitting vitriol in their faces for a home and home series to begin again.
- I'm still not quite sold on Tyrod, but I pray he gives me a reason to eat crow.
- I once pretended to respect that wretched institution in order to hook up with a girl from UVA over thanksgiving break.
- I cheer for Matt Ryan in the NFL
- The only two games we have recently lost to GT (06, 09) were the only two games I watched with my younger sister. She has since been banned from viewing any and all conference games.
- All during my senior year I let my girlfriend drag me out of almost every home game after halftime because she was "sooo tiiiiiired" and wanted to go home and sleep. I dumped her shit asap. Also for a slut with large boobs, that appreciated football.
and the sin that haunts me the most......
- I left during the beginning of the 4th quarter of the 2007 Boston College game, overly confident that victory was at hand, in order to get a jump start on post game festivities. I blame myself for that touchdown. I'll never do it again.
- I like Stiney...
Now I'll go say 6 Hokie Hi's and 12 Stick-it-ins
You've been absolved.
I think everyone thought we had that BC game won.
After going to
that 2005 Oklahoma-Oregon game in Eugene, I don't think anyone has any game won until the click reaches zero. I was even nervous late in the third quarter against Miami and after watching the game again sober I realized there was no fucking way Miami was going to beat us at any time in that game.
Note: So far, all of my math answers have been 9. If only Intro to Elementary Function was this easy freshman year.
Mathematics
I disabled the math on the comments. Hopefully the captcha during registration is enough to keep the spammers out.
My Confessions
-I was the reason that we lost the 2005 Sugar Bowl to Auburn. I had attended every game during the 2004 season, home and away. I was at the stadium with friends and was actually rooting for Miami to win a little bit so I wouldn't feel sad that I was going to miss the free trip to New Orleans. After an abysmyal 2002 and 2003 post season I had lost the faith and signed up for a study abroad trip to India through Pamplin. Try as we did, the lead Hokie bird, myself and the rest of the group couldn't find an internet bar in Mumbai that would open up at 6am Indian time so we could watch the ESPN livecast on a dialup modem. That is the only Hokie football game I have not watched in the past decade.
-Jason Campbell could have been a great NFL quarterback if he wasn't drafted by one of the most micromanaging coaches in the entire NFL.
- I wish that we would resume the series with W(effen)VU. As much as I loved Mark May's pennies comments, I miss that rivalry, though BC is quickly taking over that role of spoiler.
-I have yet to see all of a Spring Game
-I have no faith that Stiney will not run 62 consecutive "run up the gut" plays against BSU...any passing play will be Tyrod rolling out of the pocket and making something happen (aka Nebraska last year).
-I have never had season tickets and will doubtfully ever will (unless I win the lottery). Tickets are easy to come by on the secondary markets.
joe, your description of your in-game behavior is spot on. your self-awareness after so much bourbon is amazing.
"When we score I high five everyone I can reach." probably one of my favorite parts of being at the game.
on to confessions.
I live in florida. Somehow I have managed to surround myself with people that went to FSU. Despite the in-conference rivalry (although they aren't on our schedule again until 2012) I have thoroughly enjoyed going to games and the scene in tallahassee. And with the exception of a few, I have found their fans to be gracious hosts. I also have become way too tolerant of gator fans. I'm pretty sure 90% of them didn't even go to the school. still hate the shithole that is miami though.
Like joe, I only went to one game my freshman year. I have no excuse, except maybe Grant Noel.
i really miss some of the rivalries we lost when we moved to the acc. namely pitt and wvu.
I don't know nearly enough about vt football history. I knew a little from being a fan of college football but not much prior to the 1999 national championship game. Most of what i know begins when i showed up on campus in 2001. I should make an effort to learn more.
i'm not a fan of the gobbler noise makers. i prefer yelling and screaming. it pains me to agree with jim weaver. i do like the one on the stadium pa though.
My confession
Okay, here goes. Despite the fact that I love your blog, I really don't care much for the "key play". Reason? It's entirely too overused. Every third down play is not a key play. And, I get tired of idiots who don't realize this shaking their keys at me.
Also, I stopped watching the 2007 LSU game when they put Tyrod in. It was just too painful.
Keys are way, way better than they used to be.
Speaking as one who started in 1997, it took close to ten years just to fully eradicate key-shaking on offensive third downs.
I always viewed key-shaking as more an inefficient noisemaker than a claim of "key play", though, so using them on all defensive third downs seems OK to me.
Bless me Hokie Bird for I have sinned
I won't confess all my sins, I mean how could I know that boy I bought over the internet from Laos wasn't 18 years old yet. I will keep it to sins I have inflicted on Hokie Bird.
2002
I ask for forgiveness that I only watched the last quarter of the Miami game to end the year. I was in NYC and someone called and told me it was close, I had given up on the team after 3 straight losses.
2003
I am sorry I took your name in vain roughly 200 million times in 2003 and vowed to never watch you again.
I apologize again for that year turning off the WVU game to save me from breaking my tv and listening to the rest of the game on the radio. I also apologize for turning off said radio before the game was over. I hate WVU.
I also apologize for wearing the same shirt a few weeks later against Pitt. When we lost that game I cut up the shirt. I can't believe the girl watching with me that night is now my wife.
2004
I apologize for wishing very bad things to happen to the offensive line coaches family and friends when NCST sacked Bryan Randall 10 times.
I don't apologizing for actually liking most of the USC fans I met at the Kickoff Game.
Otherwise I don't think that I have really sinned too much.
Living in Seattle, most game days I am up around 6:30 taking care of the dogs and then making to the bar by 9:00 am for kickoff. I gather with 20 or so other Hokie fans for any game, whether on internet or TV. Now I cannot resist taking a drink or two when I am a) at a bar or b) watching the Hokies. Combine those two things and the early morning and I pretty much am wasted by noon every Saturday in the fall. I would only change it if I had season tickets, a private jet and a pad in Blacksburg.
I miss playing WVU but not losing to them. I am from Pittsburgh and a lot of my friends went to WVU. There is no reason we shouldn't play them every year. It is just losing to them hurts a little worse than the others.
My favorite Hokie moment(s) are in 1999/2000. I was at Morgantown for the WVU Michael Vick/Shane Graham final drive. Me and another Hokie were holding hands and hearing it from the fans. Although I am a shit talker for a little guy, I kept my mouth shut in the middle of Nehlan Stadium.
Also if games were only 3 quarters long then Jan 4th would be my best night ever (I would apologize to my wife but she would agree with me) as I thought we were going to win the national championship. I sat in a FSU section and 90% of those fans were nice and supportive during the game and after the loss.
As far as the keys, I agree with footballgirl. It is overused. I now make fun of the use of them and the last game I went to I brought them out on first down. Booze helped make that more funny.
By they way, I think any game day experience now is filled with twittering and texting while at the game. At least that is what I did last year to a game I went to.
BC 2007
I grieved the loss literally no more than the 15 hours it took me to get down to NOLA for 10 days of bliss. In addition I went out to catch the GT game the next week while down there but didn't pay any attention.
YouTube videos of the last 2 minutes are sureal to me as a result since I never really processed what happened, and I indeed would probably be scarred forever if not for 2010 Nebraska making things right with the universe.
I threw a pillow against the wall and went to bed.
It was either that or my TV was going out the window, but the window wasn't big enough.
Our Hokiebird, who art in Lane Stadium...
Beastly be thy name. Thy season come, thy dominance be done on the field as it is in practice. Give us this Saturday (or Thursday night) our weekly win, and forgive us our beatings as we curse those who score against us. And lead us not into the SEC, and deliver us from recruiting violations. For thine is the Beamer and the Foster and the 10-wins for ever and ever, Aaah-YEAH.
_____________________________________________
I dumped a guy because he didn't like college football. WHO THE EFF DOESN'T LIKE COLLEGE FOOTBALL??
I make a nasty face at every car with a UVA or WVU sticker on it, and I'm glad we don't play WVU anymore. I loved beating them more than anything in this world, and I'm glad we went out on a high note.
I personally LOVE the key play, and I know when to use it. I tore up my hand a few times with some vicious key-shaking. I associate the key play along with stick-it-in and all the other joyful things I learned during my first fall in Blacksburg. It makes me smile just thinking about it.
I don't handle losing well. I went to bed at 3 pm after the ECU season-opening loss in 2008 and didn't get out of bed until the next evening.
A college football coach witnessed me watching and screaming instructions during the 2007 BC game, and he told me I have a future in college football.
I didn't watch the 2009 Nebraska game. I was coordinating a wedding that day and somehow missed most of it between getting the reception set up and the bride down the aisle. I saw the score after the fact and still to this day watch that clip from the last few minutes of that game once a week.
I start missing football season by January 8th.
I snuck into Lane Stadium with a friend one spring evening. Honestly, it still to this day is one of the best nights of my life.
I HATE watching VT games alone because I have no one to high-five when we score. I will go to the local VT-alumni bar to watch a game by myself if necessary. I know that as long as the games on and the beer is cold, I'll be happy. Plus, I always end up seeing old Hokie friends there.
I have a Hokie-themed Catholic school girl outfit.
Aaaaah-men.
We are going to need
photographic evidence of the Catholic school outfit.
Seeing is believing
I second F4H!
make that a 3rd
or risk acct shutoff!
I fourth!
Like I say on twitter....Twit pic or it doesn't exist!
We must never lose to ECU again.
That game was an absolute debacle. I was actually expecting Glennon to make the most of the starting opportunity and turn some heads. That didn't work out.
The prayer is legendary.
if not at the game
i would rather watch VT games alone.
i can be a dick, no one needs to be around that. haha.
Close losses
...are the ones no one should be around me for. I drove back from BC in a killing rage that didn't even simmer down into despair until I was past Lexington.
Bad ones like 2007 LSU are more fun with other people to commiserate/poke fun with as necessary. That one I watched at a party with a South Carolina fan, and the two of us couldn't agree which of our teams had less killer instinct.
Yep
I usually watch the games twice, once with a group, and then alone later. With a group, I can't pause, rewind, watch something over and over again screaming at my TV, "what the....."! I love the camaraderie of watching with a group, but I'm a bit too much for most people.
the school girl outfit
is the work of legends and only a select few have had the pleasure. of course, one of whom was a huge VT fan who was more focused on my use of throwback designs than the, ahem, presentation. we'll see what i can scramble up. i don't want my acct deleted! i AM in on the art development for goodness sake!
the ecu game was a lowpoint in my life. really, i was seriously depressed for a few days. i swore to disable glennon if i ever saw him face to face.
i get really awful too when i'm alone watching VT football. i'm surprised the few times that i've done it that a neighbor didn't report some kind of domestic abuse.
less than one month y'all!!!
Can I borrow the hokie school girl outfit
Is it possible to borrow it? I mean I am no means a legend but I am thinking if there is a Hokie themed Catholic School girl outfit I can give my wife 4 to 5 seconds of a great fun. I have a 31" waist...wait, I mean she is a 2. Actually, I don't care who wears it, I will have fun regardless. Maybe I can get a Hokie Priest outfit. I haven't seen it on Project Runway this season but I bet it is coming.
Thanks for reminding me of the ECU game. I think I had blocked that out. I actually just threw a book across my room thinking about it right now. I watched that game at home and my wife had to take my dogs out because I was yelling so much. She came back inside later and said I know it didn't end well, I heard you. We are 4 stories up in the middle of a city.
Joe, I want to make a motion that there is no more mention of the 2008 ECU game on The Key Play. Punishment to be determined at a later date.
Motion Passed
You may have stumbled on a brilliant business idea, collegiate licensed erotic wear.
I second your motion to never mention said moment in recent VT football history (or Marcus - even though we have the same birthday) ever again. It was a dark, dark day, and I apologize for ever bringing it up. Hokiebird, please forgive me. :(
Now about borrowing the schoolgirl outfit, we'll have to see. I made mine, maybe I can make one for y'all? Git you some.
Remember when
Victoria's Secret tried to sell college themed stuff (that wasn't even erotic) and a bunch of schools decided they didn't want their mascot on underwear, like Minnesota? I think it was like two years ago.
VT Secret
Yes, I do recall that because they had Clemson and whatnot here in Charleston. No VT anywhere though, they only did a few select schools, but it was cute. Also, it was only t-shirts and sweatpants, nothing too "sexy"...
How about a Mascot on some Banana Underwear
And then, finally, South Carolina was good at something.
angry face!
at least men don't wear UGGS down here, JOE.
I meant USC the University (Cocks, get it, get it /nudges), not the fine state of South Carolina.
ooooh
haha you're so PUNNY.
And Here We Are
http://www.victoriassecret.com/pink/virginia-tech
I know what
girlfriend4heisman is getting for her birthday here in about a month.
Wow
I go away for the weekend and miss so much excitement here! I second Seattle Hokie's motion to forever ban any mention of the 2008 ECU game. Might want to add Marcus to the list as well as he did nothing but screw us over (especially Pitt 2003).
Bless me Hokie Bird
I have sinned.
I signed up for College this fall and took a Monday night class, greatly reducing the likeliness I will be at Boise.
I was to lazy to pull out my camera to take pictures of my memorabilia so my hand stitched VT Army style hat will not be featured or my custom made Ashbury VT golf shirt.
While in the Navy stuck in Groton CT I was best friends with a WFVU fan (I still let him have it the last time we played).
I do not follow any Hokies who are drafted by the Steelers due to my deep deep hatred of that team (If it came down to them and WVU I hate the Steelers more. But still less that UVA).
I joined the military after turning down my scholarship to VT and actually thought about going to GT earlier this year when I started looking at colleges.
I do not own any VT related erotic outfits, and I now know this is a sin.
Lastly I brought some friends to the 2005 ACC championship game who when I got their told me they would be rooting against our beloved. I blame myself for that loss (that and Marcus).