Let's Peek Deep into the Future of Hokie Football

In the wake of recent events, what with a new AD and the KeyPlay baby showing up yesterday, I thought it would be prudent to rejoin our Hokies in 2036 to check in on the state of the program.

On this warm September day, it is Head Coach Shane Beamer's fifth season in charge and he is yet to fully replicate the success of his predecessors. Head Coach Bud Foster retired after winning his third national championship, and he will be honored at halftime today in the Frank Beamer Terror Dome, a retractable roofed, on campus dome seating 114,000, built with the hundreds of millions of dollars raised by AD Whit Babcock. The dome was named for the two time national champion coach and Frank's only disappointment is that they did not meet his request to accommodate a 1/2 mile race track inside.

Shane has assembled a formidable team this year, with a secondary and wide receiving corps filled with Fuller cousins. Running back Drew Harris has finally qualified and is expected to take the bulk of the carries this year. But the highlight, to be sure, is senior quarterback Vincent Corey Kyle Kendall Fuller Keyplay, commonly known as Vick (for his initials, ViCKK) . It was a whirlwind recruiting of the five star quarterback and consensus #1 recruit years earlier, with FSU, Bama and an Ohio State University making a push for him, but in the end, everyone knew his heart lay in Blacksburg. At his commitment announcement, Vick elected to pull Logan Thomas out from underneath the table to hand him his Virginia Tech hat.

After starting the year with a resounding 47-3 win over East Carolina, the Hokies 24th consecutive year beating them, the Hokies are opening conference play early against Notre Dame. The Irish were finally forced to join the ACC as a full member after UVA disbanded their team in 2024 having not won a game in six years.

Defensive coordinator Torrian Gray is angry that his defense had given up three points last week; they are the first points they've allowed at home since the loss to Duke the previous October. Duke is, of course, the Hokies annual competition for the Coastal Division title now that Miami has deemphasized football, UNC is still under investigation for academic scandals and Georgia Tech has yet to pull the plug on the Paul Johnson experiment. The game against the cupcake Irish will serve as a good warm up for the Blue Devils next week.

Offensive coordinator Tyrod Taylor is confident in Vick Keyplay's abilities, and he doesn't let Taylor down, rushing for two touchdowns and passing for five more on the hapless Irish. The Irish have been awful for over two decades now, haunted by what is commonly known in college football as the Spectre of Manti Te'o's Dead Girlfriend and their luck continues to be poor today. Or else it was getting absolutely road graded by the dominant offensive line under Coach French all day. After Coach Searels utilized the analysis of Coach French to turn the Hokie offensive line into the most dominant unit in college football, he would only retire on the condition that he could turn the line over to Coach French.

Regardless, the 72-0 final score did not reflect the true chasm between the two programs today. Coach Beamer eased off the gas after Irish starting quarterback "Sandy" Vag Zumwalt was knocked out of the game with a vicious but clean shoulder to the sternum by starting whip Caleb Grimm. The biggest disappointment of the game is that the Fuller secondary was not able to return any of their four interceptions for touchdowns. Coach Gray is somewhat mollified by the fact that his defensive line combined for nine sacks and four safeties, and he elects not to punish the defense with running stadium stairs...this week.

But the coaches are trying to make sure they don't exhaust the players. Despite the short 10 game season, they fully expect to advance deep into the 64 team Bojangles National Championship Playoff Series. The players are secretly hoping they meet up with Oregon again, who have continued to dominate the Pac-18 despite the inclusion of actual (though non-functioning) wings as well as feathers all over their uniform. The Hokies have sworn revenge on the Ducks this year for their semi-final playoff loss last year in Autzen Stadium and plan on running the table this year to ensure home field advantage, knowing the Ducks will wilt under the chants of "Stick It In!" reverberating around the Terror Dome.

Comments

My only question is why the VT AD hired London as head of stadium security after the athlete pay scandal was finally revealed when the TKP staff got wondering how the UVA football budget could be so consistently high season after season.

Danny caught that ball.

Friends don't let 5 star friends commit to UVA.

I have inside info. - Whit

So the UVA Pay-to-Play scandal is that each player has to fork over $10,000 a semester for the "honor" to be on the team?

I'm already going to Hell. At this point it's pretty much "Go big or go home."

No but, good try.
Why would a 5star pay to play for London?
He was paying them, which is why so much cash was needed to maintain operations and how he could get big names kids to play for him. Allegedly.

Danny caught that ball.

Friends don't let 5 star friends commit to UVA.

I have inside info. - Whit

And some Valpak tickets for their families

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Actually Weaver put it in as part of his exit agreement. He felt he had monitored the fans for so long...they no longer need policing.

We put the K in Kwality

This was the best string if events and names ever concocted

Hokie Hokie Hokie high

Running back Drew Harris has finally qualified and is expected to take the bulk of the carries this year.

Lost it

RealDiehl

I had a hard time finishing it because I kept cracking up every 5 seconds about that line.

Yes me too

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

senior quarterback Vincent Corey Kyle Kendall Fuller Keyplay

Well done sir

Carry Me Back

This is literally the best thing I've read all week. I really needed a laugh, and you gave me plenty.

You forgot to mention that magically Hokie moment when Shane's daughter won that national championship game by kicking a record 78-yard FG as time expired (beating her own 75-yard record set the prior season).

We put the K in Kwality

Ah, Alabama doesn't like you right now.
Auburn is laughing.

Danny caught that ball.

Friends don't let 5 star friends commit to UVA.

I have inside info. - Whit

"As Coach Hughes' coverage unit gets set for Graham's second half kickoff, we take this time to note that our own Collin Carroll and BrianM were once again honored with the National Bill Roth Virginia Sportscaster and Sportswriter of the Year awards at half time."

SHIT, how could I have left off Special Teams Coach AJ Hughes?! Guh, good catch.

Or else it was getting absolutely road graded by the dominant offensive line under Coach French all day.

I for one, welcome our new French overlords. I can only hope that this means slow opposing linebackers are to be caught and baked into pies on the field.

honestly I felt like I was reading a James Michener novel with your use of past and future generations, quite a tale you weaved there sir.

I'm the biggest VT fan that I personally know in real life (present company in this fine community excluded). But I have to admit that I was a bit down on VT athletics the past few weeks. This was really needed for me, thanks.

I kid you not, I had a dream the other night that Bud became HC and won 3 national titles. With that dream and this story as evidence, I suspect we're on to something prophetic here.

Great read, very creative factual as always.

Now this was just an entertaining read through and through. Well done.

Tyrod Taylor stiff armed me at Cassell once. I never washed that cheek again.

No Bonjangles in PA.

Sucks.

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

I was kind of sad about Lane Stadium while reading this actually...

Sam Rogers is also about to retire from the NFL after breaking multiple individual records; the first individual player to ever win eight Super Bowls; five as a starting FB, two as a starting WR, and one as a starting QB (in the year he rushed for a record 56 touchdowns in the first eight games of the season, along with a yards-per-punt average of 61 yards). Of course, all of this occurring while he wins ten state championships as the Head Coach of Hanover High School. Five Guys is also completing a new series of commercials celebrating their fifteen year key sponsorship of Rogers, which has led them to seven straight years of being the leading fast food chain in all of North America and Ireland combined. His VT senior year number of "SR" (no actual number was worthy) is retired during halftime of the VT Spring Game, attended by all 114,000 people, including all six of his sons (yes, all born at the same time) who are now battling for the starting QB spot on VT's football team.

99Hokies03

Haha I was like ehhh. Until I got the the visual of 6 offspring of Sam Rogers battling it out.

including all six of his sons (yes, all born at the same time) who are now battling for the starting QB spot on VT's football team.

Good Lord. Does this mean that the only person on Earth more beastly than Sam Rogers... is Mrs. Sam Rogers?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

Well... she did survive what I can only assume was the smanging of the millenium.

Upvoted for non-ironic use of "smanging."

PS: I hate that song. lol

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

I've been waiting to read this, and I finally got a chance.

I could only Imagine this good ! Thank You...

Jack R.

Fuller cousins? In 2036, we should be hoping for Fuller babies. Vince is about 30 already.

Live for 32. Ut Prosim. Let's Go, Hokies.

On this site, we're waiting for all four Fullers to produce sons and don the Chicago maroon and burnt orange. Vincent's kids will be Corey's, Kyle's, and Kendall's kids' cousins.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

You forgot to mention the inclusion of five first ballot Hall of Fame VT dbs:

Chancellor, Flowers, Fullers, and Exum

Thanks for making me explode in laughter and spit margherita pizza over my date's shoulder onto the table behind while eating at an extremely quiet and high end Milano restaurant. Classic

Because I'm lazier than Rob Johnson-- formerly of the Jaguars and Bills (among others)--at practice when it comes to all things Gif, I'll just have to attempt to use language to describe my thanks for your own gif: the picture would be from Bloodsport, where the iconic JCVD bowed in thanks to the Asian leader of the tournament just prior to whooping some

"The annual 'Speedway Showdown' with Tennessee was canceled this year due to the refusal of any actual Volunteer fans to show up. Speculation says that they 'didn't hold out hope of winning this game for the first time ever.'"

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Wait-we won a MNC!?!?!? =D

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

No, "a MNC" implies singular.

Detail, pay attention to detail.

Danny caught that ball.

Friends don't let 5 star friends commit to UVA.

I have inside info. - Whit

You NEVER forget your first.

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

This here is downright epic, I have only one question is the Frank Beamer Terror Dome built around the already existing Lane Stadium?

H_O_K_I_E_S-HOKIES!

Proud Member Of The Key Play Community Since January 2012.

Absolutely. Throw some acoustic walls on the dome walls around Lane. Oh god the sound would melt the walls.

This. Is. Glorious.

Needed something since we've been dry with no "Foe" Rensics. Well done, sir. Well done.

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

2036 also was the year the VT women's golf team won its first NCAA title, led by freshman sensation Jane Wie-Vick, daughter of two-time Masters champion Michelle Wie and former VT quarterback Marcus Vick.