OT: Why aren't there TKP Key Chains?

This came out of the Bitcoin Bowl thread when we were joking about Turkey Legs being redeemable for prizes. But seriously... why aren't there TKP brand Key Chains? Maybe this has been discussed before but if not it needs to be.

I'm not talking about a little plastic orange and maroon key chain. I'm not talking about a clever little bottle opener key ornament either. I'm talking about about a serious noise making key chain. Something that doubles the decibel level of keys being shaken on 3rd down. Something designed so that it can look ordinary 358 days of the year but on 6 Saturdays in the fall... it will unleash a small metallic hell. I don't know exactly what that looks like but I do know we have a school full of engineers and industrial designers that can figure that out. Maybe even KJ himself will do it... a perfect chance to use his new degree and new role to make an immediate impact.

This could be big Joe. It could become the terrible towel of Lane Stadium. You're sitting on a gold mine.

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A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

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A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

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"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster