TKP Fantasy Football - Week 8

I got so caught up with work and my trip to Blacksburg last week that I didn't get a chance to write a week 7 recap. This week's recap will sort of serve as a look ahead to the last five weeks of the regular season and who may or may not make the playoffs.

Gifs are from Reddit.

COLT MCCOY 4 MVP

REDSKINS PLAYERS TRYING TO SABOTAGE COLT MCCOY 4 MVP

Reddit user SandmanAlcatrazs decription of the following phenomenon:

Rodgers' Plan:
1.Invent "Championship Belt" celebration
2.Win the Super Bowl > "Championship Belt" now seen as ultimate symbol of dominance
3.Popularize celebration as "Discount Double Check" in series of insurance commercials
4.Profit
5.NFC North Defensive Linemen begin doing the celebration, because it's cool now.
6.NFC North Defensive Linemen injure themselves doing celebration
7.With no one for Packers Offensive Linemen to block, Packers win NFC North
8.Packers make the playoffs
9.???
10.Profit again.

(also, the gfycat link is Flashy Boring Bufflehead. Buffleheads indeed)

Martellus Bennett made a ridiculous falling catch while down 38 points

Eagles players hate each other

Jeremy Maclin says NO GATORADE FOR YOU!

Dat hurdle

This is what Clemsoning is (ignore the score)

Philip Rivers hates the voice inside his helmet

Matt Ryan, why couldnt you have done this a few more times on October 25, 2007?

Jets and Bills and lols

#MattSchaub4UVAQB

Frank Beamer Conference standings:

Team Daniballsdeep is in first place through eight weeks, but a playoff appearance still is not fully guaranteed, as she faces #'s 1, 3 and 4 in the power rankings over the last five weeks. Overall, her remaining strength of schedule is fourth in the league (opponents' average standing is 5.4 and average power ranking is 106.74). That being said, Dani is leading the league in points scored over the last four weeks (101/week) and her other two games area against two of the bottom four teams, so it might be a moot point...and even a 2-3 finish should be more than enough to get her into the playoffs given the fact that she has the second most points in the league.

Centaurrian Gray is still in second despite having the most points in the league and leading Dani in overall awesomeness. This squad is a model of consistency, with a peak of only 114 points (6 out of the 11 other teams have had a better high score) but a low of 80 (5 above any other team, and 15 above the third best). Centaurrian Gray has a middle of the road schedule remaining, facing the #'s 2, 4, 7, 10 and 12 teams in the power rankings (average power ranking: 101.88). Week 13 could very well be a battle for first place between the good guys and Danibails.

Johnny Manzeitgeist has stayed behind the radar in their quest for the #1 seed. Outside of an awful 53 point performance in week 6, Scobeard's squad has averaged 94 points per week, which would challenge Dani for #2 in the league. Johnny Manzeitgeist does have a tough remaining schedule, facing #'s 2, 4, 5, 6 and 8 in the power rankings (average power ranking: 113.23), but he has a good team that can put up a ton of points any given week.

Turn Down For Watt and Demaryius Targaryen are only separated by two points over the whole season and are both 5-3. While Demaryius has the two extra points, Turn Down For Watt edges them out in the power rankings due to being a touch more consistent with their scoring. Going forward, Demaryius looks to be a better bet to make the playoffs because they have a much easier schedule, facing the #'s 3, 4, 9, 11 and 12 teams (average power ranking: 97.8) as opposed to Turn Down For Watt's opponents, the #'s 1, 3, 4, 6 and 12 squads and their 111.90 average power ranking. But honestly, CharlesK has a year and a half track record of being a very good fantasy owner, so I won't count him out unless he's mathematically eliminated.

Team Morton and Vick In A Box are hanging tough in the race, both at 4-4. Morton has lost 3 out of 4 despite putting up a solid 85 points per game, but has a pretty easy schedule remaining, with four of his five remaining opponents falling in the bottom half of the league (#'s 3, 7, 9, 10 and 11, average power ranking 99.53). Vick In A Box has averaged 101 points per week over the last two, both wins, but faces a tougher schedule going forth (#'s 2, 5, 6, 7 and 8). Fortunately for phillyhokie007, that gives him the opportunity to knock off a bunch of the teams that stand between him and the playoffs at the moment.
Treadmill Horses and Team Griffindor are two good teams that have gotten the short end of the stick matchup-wise over the season. It will be difficult for them to make the playoffs at 2 and 2.5 games out, respectively, but not impossible. Treadmill Horses face the #'s 1, 6, 9, 10 and 11 teams in power rankings (101.29 average PR) while Team Griffindor faces #'s 3, 9, 10, 11 and 12. They'll need some help, probably in the fashion of the 5-3 and 4-4 teams all struggling over the next 5 weeks, but I refuse to count either of them out.

There are three teams that I will count out, barring a miracle:
The BeLealver has been undone by a lack of RB depth, with Shane Vereen being the RB2 for the whole year and practically nothing out of Jamaal Charles for 4 of 8 weeks (same with Brandon Marshall for 5 of 8). This was not a poorly constructed team outside of the lack of RB depth, but its hard to win consistently with a roster full of streaky guys when youre not doing a lot of add/drop. Beau does have a manageable schedule in the last five weeks, facing the #s 1, 6, 7, 8 and 11 teams (average power ranking of 105.66), but its likely too little too late for a 2-6 team to catch back up without going 5-0 and getting some help.

BeerMe Egbert started hot at 2-0 and were almost 3-0, being narrowly defeated by myself in week 3. Since then, everything has gone wrong. 2nd round pick Zac Stacy and 3rd rounder Wes Welker have been busts, and Dennis Pitta and Knowshon Moreno got hurt. Basically outside of Peyton Manning, the rest of the team appears to have some sort of anti-Egberg pact, which isnt nice because I met him at TKP tailgate and he was a really cool guy. Theres still enough upside around to win some games, especially if guys like Jordan Cameron and Reggie Bush get healthy, but 2-6 is probably too big of a hole to dig out of, even against a middling remaining schedule that consists of the #s 5, 6, 7, 8 and 10 teams (average PR: 104.23).

I pleaded for Team Cody w/ a C to have ANUSTART to no avail, and Biz Belle is 1-6-1 with an insane final five weeks, as she faces #s 1, 2, 4, 5 and 8 (average PR: 117.32). Montee Ball was a huge bust, her WRs have been disappointingly mediocre (White, Crabtree and Wayne) and she seemingly picked the unlucky end of every RB committee (Shonn Greene, Donald Brown, Knile Davis and Jordan Todman). Next year, Izzy.

Bud Foster Conference standings:

The Bud Foster Conference is much more difficult to predict than the Frank Beamer Conference. In the former, there are three teams that are three games out of the last playoff spot. In the latter, there is only one such team. And no team really has an extremely hard or easy schedule all 12 teams in the Bud Foster Conference play at least 1 team in the 1 to 4 power ranking range, 1 in the 5 to 8 range and 1 in the 9 to 12 range over the last five weeks. All teams have an opponents average power ranking between 112.3 and 124.97. The last five weeks are going to be extremely interesting here.

Leading the way are Denied Pussy Touchdown (PR: 155.60) and Vick In A Box (PR: 146.54). They face off in week 9 for sole control of first place, and the winner will have a strong advantage going into the last four weeks, with DPT facing #s 3, 6, 7 and 11 over the last four weeks and Vick In A Box facing #s 4, 5, 8 and 12. Even ESPN can barely decide who they like more in week 9, with Denied Pussy Touchdown being favored by 16.5 currently, but that will fall down to 3 assuming Vick In A Box puts Frank Gore into an empty RB slot (it would be quite cocky to go in to this game with a player on bye purposefully). Dis gon be gud. No matter who loses, these teams will be 1-2 next week.
Cajun Graham-balaya and Houston Swedish Chef are #s 3 and 4 in the standings (and power rankings), tied at 5-3 and facing off this week as well. Cajun Graham-balaya has a better power ranking to date, but also a slightly tougher schedule from here on out, facing #s 1, 4, 5, 8 and 10 (average PR of last five opponents: 124.69). Houston Swedish Chef faces #s 2, 3, 7, 9 and 11 (average PR of last five opponents: 121.706). Cajun Graham-balaya is favored by 1 point by ESPN, which makes these two matchups officially ridiculous. Imagine if the 1-2 and 3-4 teams played eachother in the college football regular season. MADNESS. The loser of this matchup will likely still hold the tiebreak over either current 4-4 team (assuming one wins this week), but it could get pretty close over the last five weeks.

In fourth, fifth and sixth sit Kuhn on the Cobb(4-4), Ticket Oak(4-4) and Highty Tighty Phoenix(3-4-1). Kuhn is surging, averaging 116 points per week over the last four weeks after averaging just 76 points over the first four. He also has the easiest schedule out of these three teams, facing the #s 1, 5, 8, 10 and 12 teams over the last five weeks (average opponent PR: 118.69). Ticket Oak is last in the league in scoring, so theyll need to beat the teams in front of them rather than simply tying them. Their schedule is manageable as well, facing the #s 1, 4, 5, 10 and 12 teams over the last 5 weeks (average opponent PR: 120.6). Highty Tighty Phoenix faces three teams ahead of them over the last five weeks, which will be difficult but also helpful in their hopes to catch up to the fourth and final playoff spot. They face the #s 2, 3, 6, 9 and 11 teams over the last five weeks (average PR: 121.84). These three teams are all still in the thick of things, but the top 4 squads are all very good, so they cant afford to make many mistakes over the last five weeks.

Dork Magic, 3rd and 31, Fosters D and Roccos Italian Army are all sticking in there at 3-5 (2-5-1 in Roccos case). The two 5-3 teams overall strength will make them tough to catch, but none of these guys are out of it.
Dork Magic has the most points out of these four, but the toughest matchups over the last five weeks, facing teams #2, 3, 6, 7 and 9 (average PR: 124.9, the hardest in the entire league). 3rd and 31 has just 5.5 fewer points than Dork Magic and the easiest schedule in the entire league over the last 5 games, facing teams #4, 5, 8, 10 and 12 (average PR: 112.3). Still crazy how little of a difference the hardest and easiest schedules are.kudos to this league, youre all competitive. Fosters D isnt far behind Dork Magic and 3rd and 31 in points, and have been one of the most consistent teams all year, putting up at least 78.5 points in every week. They face four of the five teams 3rd and 31 faces (#s 5, 8, 10 and 12) but replaces #4 for #1. Which is harder. 119.1 average PR for their opponents. Rocco is barely hanging in there at 2.5 games behind 4th place but has a pretty easy remaining schedule (#s 3, 6, 7, 9 and 11), but not facing the tougher teams that he needs to lose in order to bump them in the standings could also hurt. His opponents average PR is 115.4. I doubt any of these four will make the playoffs because of the strengths of the top four teams, not the deficiencies of these guys.

The only team Im counting out is Cartoons Plural. Hokiehighlander has put together a respectable season, averaging 87.5 points per week. Jamaal Charles inconsistency hurts, and as much as Drew Brees has been great, theyve been killed by the lack of production from rounds 3-6: Alshon Jeffery, Roddy White, Ray Rice and Jason Witten. Since all of the other teams are in the playoff hunt, Cartoons Plural will have a chance to play spoiler, as they would have to win out and have one of the 5-3 teams go 1-4 (with poor performances out of the 4-4 and 3-5 teams as well) to make it, and thats probably not going to happen.

Sam Rogers Conference standings:

Doges Plural (7-1) and Carolina Sex Panthers (6-2) lead the way in the Sam Rodgers Conference and will face off in week 10, potentially for the #1 seed in the playoffs. While Doge has much upper hand, so wins, very first, The Sex Panthers are working more than 60% of the time every time, with a higher power ranking and points scored over the season. The two teams face similarly difficult schedules over the remainder of the season, with Doges Plural facing teams #1, 4, 5, 9 and 11 in power rankings (average opponent PR of 107.1) while Carolina Sex Panthers face teams #2, 3, 7, 8 and 12 (average opponent PR of 105.3). This will be a fun duo to watch over the next five weeks.

Dont count out Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer, Team PowersMojo or Whigs and Torreys in the quest for first, though. These three teams all find themselves within two games of the leader with 5 to play, a difficult but not insurmountable margin to conquer. While Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer has the second most points in the league, I think the team with the clearest road to the playoffs is Team Powers Mojo, as they have an extremely manageable schedule from here on out, facing the #s 2, 7, 8, 10 and 12 teams in power rankings (average opponent PR of 99.4). Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer has the toughest schedule of these three, facing #s 1, 4, 6, 9 and 11 (average PR of 105.9) while Whigs and Torreys has a middle-of-the-road schedule, going up against #s 1, 5, 6, 9 and 11 (average PR of 102.0). The league is so tightly packed right now that the last five weeks should be pretty fun (as long as youre not the team that ends up on the outside looking in).

Sarah Stone DD Here 4 the TDs leads the currently-out-of-the-playoffs pack at 4-4, closely followed by five 3-5 teams: Demarcotion Criteria, Champagne Supernovaks, Megatrons Johnson, Team Copeland and Fuller Up. Her team is actually fourth in power rankings, but lost back to back tough games against Doges Plural and Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer in weeks 6 and 7 where she put up pretty solid point totals. It would behoove her to win the next few weeks while her schedule is manageable (#s 12, 10 and 8 in weeks 9, 10, 11), as she faces Doges Plural and Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer again in weeks 12 and 13. Demarcotion Criteria has the best chances of making the playoffs amongst the 3-5 teams, as they have the most points of that group and the easiest remaining schedule in the league, facing off against the #s 3, 7, 8, 10 and 12 teams over the last five weeks (average PR: 97.7). Champagne Supernovaks have the toughest remaining schedule, facing off against the #s 1, 4, 5, 6 and 9 teams (average PR of 107.2). Megatrons Johnson has a relatively tough schedule as well, going against #s 2, 3, 7, 8 and 10 (average PR of 105.45) while Team Copeland and Fuller Up face manageable schedules at an average PR of 101.5 and 100.1, respectively. It wont be easy for any of the 3-5 teams to sneak into the playoffs, but anything can happen in fake football!

Coming in to the year, Coach McGuirk warned us that he hadnt played fantasy football in years. I told him it was no big deal, as this was a fun league anyways. We all cheered when he won in week 3 (well, everyone but eshiben5 cheered). Now he has a chance to play spoiler to a schedule that faces him up against five teams that are still in the playoff hunt (its just a technicality that the eleven other playoff teams are all in the playoff hunt). My favorite part of the comments each week is Coach McGuirks self-deprecating comment, so hopefully he keeps em coming.