TKP Fantasy Football - Week 3

This week, I'm unveiling power rankings. They still don't mean a ton yet, since there are only three weeks of sample size. Basically, it's a weighted score that takes into account your average score (biggest weight), your highest score, your lowest score, and your winning percentage. This isn't used for anything official, but does give a glimpse into which teams have been the best in the league so far. Also, remember that I'm a Redskins fan, so you can figure out my biases pretty easily.

Draft recap/season preview is here.
Week 1 recap is here.
Week 2 recap is here.

(gifs via CBS, Bleacher Report, Deadspin, gifdsports, SB Nation and @_marcusD_)

Falcons junk grab

Johnny Footballs non-catch

The Red Rifles TD catch and dive

Russell Wilson caught a pass, too

This is not a good way to celebrate a sack

Just ask Bill Gramatica

DeAndre Hopkins with the grab of the week

Jared Cook being a butthead

Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles!

Rams mascot trolling Romo

Apparently they dont teach you boundaries in Cleveland

Can you reattach your dreads when they get ripped out?

Andy Reid wiggle wiggle wiggle

Frank Beamer Conference

Treadmill Horses (macraw83) 98, Johnny Manzeitgeist (scobeard) 88
The Frank Beamer Conference saw the two highest scoring teams in the league this week face off, with macraw83 winning by a comfortable 10. The Treadmill Horses saw Julio Jones kick things off on Thursday night with a 28 pointer, and followed up with 21 from Russell Wilson and 16 from Gio Bernard. This was all without AP and Ryan Mathews, too. Scobeard had nice weeks from Drew Brees (19), Marshawn Lynch (24) and Adam Vinatieri (16), but had five players score five or fewer points, while Ahmad Bradshaw had 13 on the bench. The Treadmill Horses are now a part of a six team tie for first place and sit in second in the power rankings while Johnny Manzeitgeist falls to 1-2 despite scoring the fourth most points through three weeks.
The BeLealver (badmaroonrising) 86, Vick In A Box (phillyhokie007) 78
To recap this week's weirdness in fantasy, the third highest scoring team in the Frank Beamer Conference started Jamaal Charles (did not play), Brandon Marshall (0) and some dude named Alfred Blue (8). Beau benefitted from the defense-fest in Philly, where Nick Foles, DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin combined to score him 64 of his 86 points. Phillyhokie007 shouldn't be too upset, since his Eagles won, but is probably kicking himself for starting Justin Forsett (6) over Victor Cruz (16) in the flex spot - certainly understandable given Cruz's poor first two weeks, but hey, second guessing and trolling are my jobs here. Antonio Brown's 21 led the way for Vick In A Box, but there were too many decent but not great performances from studs to win (Brady - 13, Graham - 5, Green - 10). Both teams are now 1-2, with badmaroonrising having a slightly better power ranking.
Team Griffindor (realdiehl)84, Turn Down For Watt (CharlesK) 72
Turn Down For Watt needed Matt Forte to outscore Robbie Gould by 10 to get the W this week. That didn't happen. RealDiehl's squad put up 84 points despite getting 2 or fewer points out of Shady McCoy, Larry Fitzgerald and the 49ers' D, mostly thanks to Andrew Luck (31) and Emmanuel Sanders (14). CharlesK, on the other hand, had a solid lineup, with Vernon Davis (0) being the only glaring hole. Unfortunately for him, only two of his players scored double digits (Kaepernick - 18 and Dez - 14), which didn't leave him a whole lot of room for error. Turn Down For Watt is still tied for first place at 2-1 while Team Griffindor is half of a game behind at 1-1-1.
Centaurrian Gray (historyhokie) 83, BeerMe Egbert (egbert) 82
I needed Alshon Jeffery to bail me out on Monday night (which he surprisingly did) to emerge victorious this week. Matt Ryan (23) and DeMarco Murray (17) led the way for my squad, negating some bad performances by Eddie Lacy (1) and Antonio Gates (0). I almost started Jay Cutler over Matt Ryan, and am really glad that my gut told me not to. BeerMe Egbert lost for the first time this season despite a pretty solid week. Peyton put up 20, Reggie Bush finally did something (15) and Zac Stacy pitched in as well (11). Unfortunately for Egbert, Gostowski was the only other double digit scorer and Dennis Pitta only scored 1 point before injuring his hip. Fortunately for me, the Falcons' D (28) was on the bench and the Cardinals (4) were in the lineup. I am first in the power rankings and Egbert is third (I swear, I found the power ranking formula on google and am not rigging it to put myself in first place!), both part of the six way tie for first place.
Team daniballsdeep (danibails) 80, Demaryius Targaryen (The Fighting Gobbler) 62
Should we tell Danibails that BenJarvus Green-Ellis isn't even on a team anymore? Doesn't matter, because she won this week fairly easily thanks to 19 from Garcon, 17 from the Black Unicorn, and 10 each from A-Rodg and Blair Walsh. Also, I JUST NOTICED that she has Dan Bailey on her team. DanBails. Match made in heaven. The Fighting Gobbler had a really crappy week thanks to Matt Stafford's 3 point stinker, Kyle Rudolph's injury, Frank Gore (1) and Texans' D (-1) being bad and CCalvin Johnson (8) and Demaryius Thomas (5) being average and below average, respectively. Rashad Jennings (23) and Nick Folk (15) put up more than half of this team's point total, which is something I did not expect to type this year. I'm not worried about the outlook of Demaryius Targaryen's season, though. The Dragons will be breathing fire soon. Danibails is tied for first place at 2-1 while Demaryius Targaryen is 1-2.
Team Morton (etch21) 71, Team Cody w/ a C (biz_belle) 48
Woof. Both of these teams struggled this week, putting up the worst and third worst scoring outings of the week. Team Morton moved up to 2-1 thanks to solid outings by Philip Rivers (19) and Le'Veon Bell (15), the team's only two double digit scorers; there were four double digit scorers on the bench (Fred Jackson, DeAndre Hopkins, Ryan Tannehill and Allen Hurns), but I don't think it was a no-brainer for etch21 to start any of them. Biz_belle got screwed some by Roddy White not playing, Montee Ball's 1 point outing, but especially by the Panthers' -7 point performance on Sunday night. Crabtree (14) and Newton (12) were the leading scorers, while Knile Davis' 17 points were on the bench. At 0-2-1, she's in last place, but she was one of the better teams in last year's league so I wouldn't rule her out just yet. She just needs ANUSTART.

Bud Foster Conference

Dork Magic (mnemonic) 129, Cartoons Plural (hokiehighlander) 68
Mnemonic made sure that all of the Dork Magic that the Hokies didn't use on Saturday was used on Sunday by his squad (well, he started using it on Thursday with Julio Jones' 32.5.so is he to blame for the loss to the bumblebees?!?). Five members of his team scored 13.5 or more points (Kaep, Gio, Julio, Floyd and Bennett) and nobody scored less than 6.5. On the other side of the aisle, Cartoons Plural had a tough week, partially due Jamaal Charles not playing, but also with the Panthers' D scoring negative 7 points. Drew Brees (19) and Alshon Jeffery (15) led the way, and Brian Quick (13) was a good sleeper start at flex. Hokiehighlander has the distinction of scoring the least points in the league (by a lot) while allowing the most (by a lot). That actually may be good news - theoretically they matched up their three worst weeks with three of the tougher teams in the leauge. Dork Magic is 2-1 and leading the league in points and is a great name and I can't stop saying nice things so I'm just gonna end this sentence.
Vick In A Box (Alex Koma) 109, Cajun Graham-balaya (MVNet2011) 100
There's a good chance that you had a great week if you are on Vick In A Box's roster, whether you were a starter or on the bench (and if you're an NFL player, hi, and thanks for reading!). 8 of the 16 players on Alex's squad scored double digits, with four 20+ games (Peyton, Garcon, Maclin and Jackson, with the latter being on the bench). MVNet2011's squad didn't have a bad week either, with Russell Wilson (21.5), Ahmad Bradshaw (14) and the Colts' D (17) putting up standout games. Only Hokie legend Shayne Graham failed to score more than 8 points, but he can do no wrong, so we'll just blame Cordarrelle Patterson for not scoring 10 more points to get the win. These are two of the top four teams in the league, with Vick In A Box remaining undefeated and being third in the league in scoring while Cajun Graham-balaya is now 2-1 but still second in the league in scoring.
Denied Pussy Touchdown (prripper) 108, Houston Swedish Chef (Andrew) 105Matt Forte and Brandon Marshall combined to do just enough last night to win a matchup of previous unbeatens for Denied Pussy Touchdown. Andrew Luck (31) and Antonio Brown (26) had beast mode weeks for prripper, who also had double digits out of Forte, Gronk, Lamar Miller and Dan Bailey. Houston Swedish Chef had five 14.5+ performances (Matt Ryan, DeMarco Murray, Rashad Jennings, Dez, Greg Olsen) but only 5.5 out of James Jones, 3 from Joique Bell, 1 from Phil Dawson and -1 from the Texans' D. Andrew may be kicking himself for starting Jones over Emmanuel Sanders (19.5) or DeAndre Hopkins (14), but just as easily could have started Keenan Allen (2) and lost by even more. Prripper stays tied for first place while Houston Swedish Chef falls to a very respectable 2-1.
Rocco's Italian Army (rocco) 95.5, Highty Tighty Phoenix (hightytighty) 92.5
Rocco rode a consistent lineup to a slim victory this week, with all but three of his starters scoring double digits, led by Philip Rivers (19) and Adam Vinatieri (16). A lack of true stud performances kept Rocco and his Italian Army from competing for the most points scored in the conference this week, but it's good to see across-the-board consistency. HightyTighty falls to a disappointing 0-3 despite averaging a respectable 91.83 points per week. Nick Foles (26) and Knile Davis (17) led the way, and nobody had a terrible week, but there were five players who scored between 6 and 7.5 points. AJ Green (13) and Zac Stacy (13.5) could have won the matchup had they been in the lineup for select players but were on the bench this week; I wouldn't second guess the decisions though given Green's lingering injury and Stacy's meh first two weeks. Rocco is in a 5 way tie for second place at 2-1 while Highty Tighty Phoenix is one of three winless teams.
Ticket Oak (VTimHokie85)84.5, 3rd and 31 (jhnbrynt) 60
Ticket Oak broke out of the cellar this week thanks to a consistent, all-around approach led by Victor Cruz (18.5), Travis Kelce (10.5) and Allen Hurns (12.5); Only Torrey Smith (3), Jonathan Stewart (5.5) and the Chiefs' D (5) scored fewer than 7 points for them this week. 3rd and 31 had the same amount of double digit scorers in Chris Ivory (11), Steve Smith (12.5) and the Bengals' D (11), but only got 5 points combined out of their QB (Stafford, 3) and stud RB (Shady McCoy, 2). Those two ain't gonna combine for 5 points too often. Both teams are now 1-2, with 3rd and 31 holding the points scored tiebreak by a hefty 91 points.
Foster's D gets after ya (vtdirk12) 82, Kuhn On The Cobb (petebuddywilson) 61.5
Strong running backs led Foster's D gets after ya to a 21.5 victory this week. Marshawn Lynch (25.5) and Reggie Bush (18) made up for the mediocrity that the rest of the team was this week (Rodgers - 10, Andre Johnson - 4, Vernon Davis - 0, Sammy Watkins - 2, etc.). Kuhn on the Cobb only had three players score fewer than 7 points (Lacy - 1.5, Ertz - 2 and Cobb - 3), but at the same time only had two double digit scorers (Newton - 12 and Hilton - 10.5), and 12 isn't that special for a QB. Kuhn on the Cobb is tied for last place with the third fewest points scored in the league while Foster's D gets after ya is 2-1 and 7th in the league in scoring.

Sam Rogers Conference

Team FranklyIncensed (coach mcguirk) 116, champagne supernovaks (eshiben5) 101
Coach McGuirk, you won a game! This wasn't a cheapy, either - you scored the most points in the league and beat the team that scored the third most. Brees (19), Lynch (24), Garcon (19) and Bush (15) led the way to a 116 point week where only three players failed to score double digits for Team FranklyIncensed. The Champagne Supernovaks had a huge week from Julio Jones (28) and great weeks from the starting RB's (Bernard - 16 and Knile Davis - 17), but it was just too hard to overcome Matt Stafford's surprising turdfest (3). Both teams are now 1-2, and are around the middle of the pack in scoring through the first three weeks, so they're right in the thick of things.
Bourbon BeamerBudBrewer (jctaughtme) 102, Team Copeland (dieter dangler) 61BourbonBeamerBudBrewerBoobsBaconBarbecue won again this week thanks to Philip Rivers (19), Antonio Brown (21), Emmanuel Sanders (14) and Indy's D (17). Only Randall Cobb (2) was bad for them, so they scored a lot of points (#ANALYSIS). Team Copeland, on the other hand, had a bunch of players score not a lot of points, so they did not score a lot of points. Only Brady (13), Stacy (11) and Vinatieri (16) scored double digits, while Eddie Lacy, Zach Miller and Cleveland's D all scored 1 point each. #ALLOFTHEBs are now 2-1 and fourth in the league in scoring while Team Copeland is 0-3 and last in scoring. I'm surprised by the mediocrity of Brady and Lacy, too.
Megatrons Johnson (mooreheads axe) 98, Demarcotion Criteria (ftkeith) 73
If you had told me a few weeks ago that a Kirk Cousins-Rashad Jennings combination would all but ensure victory for a fantasy team, I would have told you to stop sniffing glue. Those two's combined 50 points (plus Bradshaw's 13 and Gronk's 10) led mooreheads axe's boys to a comfortable win this week. Ftkeith's squad saw nice weeks from Russell Wilson (21), Demarco Murray (17) and Blair Walsh (10), but also had 2 or fewer points out of Andre Johnson, Houston's D and Zac Ertz. Megatrons Johnson rises up to top of the 2-1 party, with the second most points scored in the league, while Demarcotion Criteria falls into the 1-2 ballpit (hey, being 1-2 doesn't sound so bad anymore, does it?).
Sarah Stone DD Here 4 the TD's (Choppin wood by the JUGS) 86, Carolina Sex Panthers (vtmaroonorange) 77
The battle between two of the highest scoring teams in the league ended with Sarah Stone on top, winning 86 -77. Her balanced attack saw four players score 15+ points (Alex Smith, Le'Veon Bell, Kelvin Benjamin and Cody Parkey) and other than Antonio Gates' 0, she didn't have any terrible performances. Carolina Sex Panthers scored almost 50 points less than they did last week, wasting a 21 point game out of Jeremy Maclin thanks to a lack of other breakout performances, especially Aaron Rodgers' 10 and Frank Gore's 1. Sarah Stone is in a 5 way tie for second at 2-1 while Carolina Sex Panthers are in a 5 way tie at 1-2, despite having the most points scored in the league this year by 14. 2014 Sex Panther: 33% of the time, it works every time.
Doges Plural (such hokie very football) 86, Whigs and Torreys (taylork) 61
The only matchup between unbeatens in the Sam Rogers Conference wasn't as fun as I had hoped, with the Andrew Luck (31), Dez Bryant (14) and Michael Crabtree (14)-led Doges Plural getting such win, very points, so undefeated. Whigs and Torreys still has an excellent team, but it's just hard to win when your two stud backs (McCoy and Ball) score a combined 3 points. Matty Ice (23) and Alshon Jeffery (11) were the only double digit scorers for taylork, but I expect him to bounce back next week. As previously mentioned, Doges Plural is 3-0 while Whigs and Torreys are now 2-1.
Fuller Up (will_castel) 65, Team Powers' Mojo (8300A_Hokie'12) 56
Each of these team's benches either scored more than the starting lineup or tied them. Ouch. Fuller Up had two 12 point performances (Cam Newton and Allen Hurns) and two 10 pointers (Gostkowski and AJ Green) but not a whole lot else, with their stud Jimmy Graham only scoring 5. Jay Cutler (16), Martellus Bennett (17) and Hakeem Nicks (11) were solid performers on the bench, who all together also scored 65 points. Team Powers' Mojo got 20 from Peyton Manning , but none of their skill players scored over 7 points (and none scored a TD). The bench saw three receivers score touchdowns - DeSean Jackson (17), Victor Cruz (16) and Mohammed Sanu (8 - passing TD). Some weeks are weird. Fuller Up is now in the big glut of 2-1 teams while Team Powers' Mojo is in the big glut of 1-2 teams (stop me if that sounds familiar!).