That feeling when...?

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Your wife asks you if you got her anything for your anniversary the day before the occasion

And then proceeds to suggest that you each make the other a gift out of whatever the material symbol for that anniversry is......

True story!

Where's the beef?

Better than the morning of, I suppose.

It drops in the intestines and you judge whether or not you have enough time to bail or have to suck it up.

When your body decides that you ate D2 too close to your next class.

@vtscottyb

A blue chip recruit commits but says Virginia Tech University or University of Virginia Tech.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

You want to speak that damn truth but know you have to hold it back.

when idiots are asking the questions

Go Hokies

When you see Gordon Heyward's leg injury......

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

My stomach is hurting from watching that live

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

And Kevin nonchalantly saying "Gordon Heyward has broken his leg." When they showed it, I almost lost my dinner. Very Livingston, Kevin Ware, Paul George, McGahee-ish.

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

All those same names came to mind. I don't know that I ever quite got the same up close look at those that I did tonight though

Edit: Never saw Livingston and won't be looking that one up

I thought watching Anderson Silva getting his leg snapped in half was going to be the worst live injury I was ever going to see I was dead wrong

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

Yeah, don't look it up if you don't have the stomach. In my mind it's #2 on that list. But it's also a miracle because he is still playing at a fairly high level today!

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

Djibril Cisse and the Oupa Ngulube also come to mind. Ngulube probably the worst ever.

Chem PhD '16

Henrik Larsson had a bad one too

exit light

Yeah he did. Ngulube still gives me shivers tho

Chem PhD '16

I was never a fan of Hayward. Annoyed at him and Butler for surviving VCU and the Havoc. But when I dug into this, read the headlines my heart sank. Literally had visions of LT1 and Theisman going through my head. Then I saw the tremendous sportsmanship from ALL the players, coaching staffs, as well as both opposing and fans alike and my heart was melted and overwhelmed (in the good way). From the gut, I was humbled to see that and do hope that Hayward will get back and be right as rain.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Yeah the Quicken Loans arena was dead quiet on live TV. Really gruesome, fans and players alike new what had happened immediately. I'd bet a the lions share of New England sports fans watching from home let out one long winded f-bomb and sat in silence.

RIP to my Boston Celtics 2017-2018 season. Charles said it best.

I haven't seen that one. Is it worse than the legendary Theismann injury?

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

Pretty similar, maybe a little further down the leg

Then I don't think I'll be watching it. Those kinds of injuries are hard to watch.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

Yeah I don't recommend it. I couldn't finish my dinner last night after seeing it. Here's the Cavs Bench reaction with the actual injury cropped out

Thank god this doesn't have sound. Saw the injury just a few minutes ago, with the sound on. Seeing it is bad, but bearable. But the crack it made was horrific.

I love all the guys on the left who just go "Nope nope nope. I'm outta here."

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

When you're judging whether or not the 2 week old leftovers on the fridge are good or not

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Edit: nvm

(too soon?)

You argue with the kids, but mommy takes their side, and you realize your weekend is going to take an awkward turn.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Oopsie poopsie?

When you see the results of the NCAA investigation on UNC.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

When it's August and everyone says Miami is bak.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

The doctor says "you will feel a little pressure."

exit light

When LOLUVA is 7-1.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

When someone jokes that Clemson lost at Syracuse.

"I'm a Miller Lite guy, always have been, since I was 8." -John Daly

When the large Florida redneck beside you at the bar asks your opinion on NFL players kneeling.

When you broke your thumb on your good hand and you have to do stuff with your other hand

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

Stuff.....is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Yep

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

When your wife is pregnant and you just find out the due date is January 7th

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

B..but it's currently October

There are literally women out there who don't know they are pregnant until the baby pops out. Sauce: my MIL is an OBGYN

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

I watched the orange bowl against stanford in the delivery room. Baby was born at 5:25, kickoff just after 8, I held her the whole game wearing my orange VT sweater that I still had from freshman year.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

You're the real MVP

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

That goes to Mrs. gjpvt09 for getting the baby out before kickoff.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Excellent labor discipline from her.

I bet your tax filing that year wished it had happened a week and a half earlier... Hah!

That said, I might be in the same boat this year. Our first is due Xmas Eve, and we have already met out deductible this year.... That could be one expensive week.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Yes, tax deduction was discussed ad nauseum in that four month span. Very surprised we didn't get a midnight baby on 1/1/11. She was already in labor.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Congratulations?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

You want to induce a week early anyway. No telling if there will even be child tax credits in 18 years. You need that money now.

Induction for Deduction.

Actual due date is Dec 24th. The doctors we have say they won't consider inducing until a week and a day has passed beyond the due date which is.... *drumroll*... New Years Day

No sir, I'm not bitter at all right now

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

We had a due date on 12/22, by 12/30 he still was chilling so we induced.

Good luck!

Man, when we had my son, they induced my ex a few days early (due date was 7 August, he was born 1 August). Although, that was her third time in the hospital for "oh my god it's happening"... pretty sure the Dr. at that point induced her to just not have to hear her shit anymore (can't blame her)

Good luck!

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

That feeling when your kids somehow got a hold of the Apple TV remote and when you come home from work your OCD kicks in and you cannot function until the remote is found...while all this is happening you have the app for Apple TV on your phone and it works much better than the actual remote...but its the principle of it!!!

that's oddly specific.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

you realize it was a bad idea to have coffee and Taco Bell before a press conference.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

I'm sitting here wondering if I have stomach bug from drinking coffee from my coffee cup that I hadn't cleaned in a couple

Or if it's because my dumb ass forgot about the boil advisory the base is under and brushed my teeth with sink water this morning.

Either way I'm too embarrassed to tell the wife.

When your girlfriend says, "we need to talk..."

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Your trying to decide is taking this science class worth it, I mean do you really need the degree? Is learning about enzymes and reactions and APT and all sorts of worthless information worth it in the end?

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

It's not worth it. Take the English and/or grammar class.

(ducks)

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Meh I writes things just fine.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Will they accept transfer credits from UNC?

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

I'm a brewer. That info is central to it. You know that stuff, you have an almost instant approval in an assistant brewer position.

You would not believe the people trying to get brewing jobs that can't spell enzyme.

I'm a decent homebrewer who has never taken a chemistry class in my life. Doesn't seem like an assistant would need to know all that much.
Two days with Palmer's book would probably fix any deficiencies in an assistant.

It probably matters a bit more when you need to scale production up to create a consistent product in large quantities.

"Facyson is a baller."
-CFB

Yea, I'm sure that as you get to a larger scale, understanding how alpha- and beta-amylase work to convert the starch in grains to various carbohydrates is critical. Especially when you are selling the beer, consistency is really important.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Consistency over multiple batches over years, especially. I don't know any homebrewers that go out and try to make the same exact beer with the same exact characteristics in the same exact amount of time. Most homebrewers are more in the art of experimenting.

Just look at the typical light lagers that the big brewers put out. They have been brewing the same exact beer for years. This has to be an extremely difficult task to do this, especially if they have not been able to keep the same vendors to source ingredients from.

"Facyson is a baller."
-CFB

Egbert you are not supposed to tell me this science stuff is important.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Am I allowed to?

--Your friendly, neighborhood biochemistry professor

pfft, that's what all the meth cooks biochemistry professors say

Sure, what future job of mine will make me need to know what eukaryotic chromosomes consist of?

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Why are you taking a class that serves no purpose for you? (I don't know the details of why you're taking college classes again so I'm legitimately curious)

Gen ed science class. Degree is in Emergency Management.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

In that case, I would have taken general chemistry instead of biology. Lower-level bio classes are generally a lot of memorization about metabolism and cellular pathways. Chemistry at least teaches you about hazardous chemicals and such.

That's the next half of the semester. It's a combo class of bio and chemistry. So a mile wide but only an inch deep of lots of different things. Once I get outside my comfort zone of bio hazards, I'm a hazmat tech, chemistry is hard for me. But I'll probally end up taking it as my second science I need.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Your daughter's best friend comes to the door to invite your daughter to his birthday party, which is at 3PM this Saturday...

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

when you release some juicy info from your proven sauces and immediately get railed on by naysayers over minutiae that is not relevant to your original point.

(keep it saucy LAhokie)

You're not sure if you pronounced "Kevin" correctly...

"I think at a certain point you’ve got to kind of shut your mouth and understand where you are."
-Corey Marshall

It's pronounced "Keavienne"

We put the K in Kwality

That same reporter, that has covered you for almost 2 years now, keeps pronouncing your name "Fuentes"

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

You realize it was not just a fart

I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction:
“I served in the United States Navy"

KCCO

you order/pour that last whiskey of the night

You're mom screams "who's responsible for this??", and you try to deflect to your brother/sister/friend

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

you see the hot now sign on at Krispy Kreme!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

No, that's this face.

When your wife says she's too tired and rolls over away from you.

"Lol, obviously she hasn't met Handgelina"

Palmela Handerson.

When there is a good looking girl walking by while you are sitting across the table from your significant other.

“I turned down 12 other opportunities. You know what I mean?” - Fuente

Stay on target, stay on target

That's where my old peripheral vision training comes in handy. That and a steady rotation of quality mirrored sunglasses.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

EDIT: apologies to anyone on mobile. These are side by side on desktop.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Perfection would be Emma on the left side, would have JF takin a peek.

@vtscottyb

sure...?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

This deserves all the legs

"For those who have passed, for those to come, reach for excellence."

TIL Emma dancing syncs up very well to September by Earth Wind and Fire

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

This has to be one of the most TKP things I've ever seen

The Dude Abides

I expect you to work on your side-eye.
Look around and say "where's that waiter?"

Tweedy can run like a dadgum antelope or whatever. I like to use scalded dog. Do antelopes lumber? Cheetah, OK. He runs like a cheetah. He's fast. - Bud Foster

...it's Monday morning and Office Cat Lady just got back from vacation and she HAS to show you ALL the photos.

Leonard. Duh.

Okay I'm feeling personally attacked right now

"Whomp their heads real good."

For those that do not know, "Office Cat Lady" is the nickname of Larry Fedora.

eehokie is Larry Fedora, confirmed.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Explains eehokie asking French for an offensive game plan on a different thread.

"When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot." -Ray Kroc

"Whomp their heads real good."

TFW you just finish downloading Gran Turismo Sport, sit down to play, and realize they pivoted towards the game being only an online multiplayer.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

my copy arrives later this week.. I'm a little conflicted on this development... I loved old school GT solo play, but online competition is always fun too. It does irk me that you have to connect online before doing anything, even playing single player. I'm expecting DLC that add tracks & cars and I'll probably be irritated at the pricing. At least it's not subscription based like iRacing.

They completely neutered the game to steer everything towards online play. Its bad. I got on yesterday to try and play some Spec racing against the AI, and it doesn't exist. If you want to do that, you have to set up an Arcade race, which exists outside of everything you're striving toward. Your 'career' is just taking a bunch of mini classes to learn how to drive. The old endurance racing, off roading, etc against the AI that every version of GT was based upon before this? Completely non-existent.

Its incredibly disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I like online play, but I actively steer away from games that are solely online. Those games are created with the sole purpose of introducing micro-transactions to nickle and dime you to death to keep having fun, and it severely decreases the quality of the games themselves. Plus, a big problem I've always had with online racing are... surprise... people. People are shitheads, people will crash you for the sake of lols, and that's not the kind of game GT is supposed to be. Unfortunately, Sony embraced it with open arms.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

GT 2 3 and 4 are the best

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

well... damn.

p.s. I almost used the gif from the OP, but I wanted something driving related...

That's good to know. I'm still on the PS3, and was considering getting a new console with all the cash I won throwing dice last weekend. The biggest motivator would be new GT, but if it's all online, fuck that.

You're spot on re: shitheads.

I've been drinking.

Another problem with online-only games is that you eventually won't be able to play them anymore.

When, in your early teenage years, you're watching a movie with your parents and a nudey scene comes on

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Heh, I'm pushing 40 and still react that way

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

When someone mentions the Sugar Bowl vs Michigan.

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

TFW you know that first Rail is about to hit you but the bartender just handed you your 2nd one.

You're mother-in-law asks why your not eating the dinner she cooked.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Easy way out: "sorry, my stomach is off because i had to eat an old egg sald sandwich for lunch. It's literally tearing me up inside that I can't enjoy this meal"

They were out of town, so we were always there for several days at a time. The not so easy way out was to move them to a retirement community with a cafeteria. She just grew up in a culture where you cooked everything until it either fell apart or turned to leather, and than left it in for another hour to be sure it was done. She then stuck in the fridge for a few days until we actually got there, and let it reheat in the oven for several hours. I put so much gravy on my plate for Thanksgiving you could not tell all I had on it was mashed potatoes and dressing. I finally convinced my wife is was not rude to insist we brought a turkey I smoked as our part of dinner.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Gotta crep like a bastard.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

TFW you're wife is frisky, good things start happening, and you hear, "Mommy, Daddy, I can't sleep. Can I lay in bed with you?"

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

“I turned down 12 other opportunities. You know what I mean?” - Fuente

"No honey, not tonight"

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Don't let that habit start. My kids think my bed is Chernobyl.

Good call. I'm fighting that battle right now with successful results. Now if only potty training would yield results.

...someone tries to deny your pussy touchdowns.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

1. The coach asks "Who wants to go against Settle in 1-v-1 drills today. Justin, you are up"

2. You told your date that you liked her favorite movie to score cool points, but she starts quoting lines from it and you haven't really seen it.

The Dude Abides

That feeling when you fix monkey bread for the first time and you burn it

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

That sucks. Where are you going to find another monkey at this hour?

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

That feeling when President Sands leads the stadium in the ENTIRE chant

Or replaces classic, well established logos with shitty graphic design that's hated by nearly everyone

Nah, that's a completely different, much more maligned expression.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

We still invent the future...but now we just do it on the DL.

When the AD says "You can't "Stick it in" anymore"

The Dude Abides

When Maury Povich says "You ARE..."

When a certain TKPer knows the uniforms for Saturday but won't give any hints

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

*shrug*

When you realize how much more complete LPD and DBU would be with CJ Reavis.

Yes, Reavis should be wearing Maroon and Orange!! We talking bout you student conduct council!! *angry*

Let's Go

HOKIES

TAKE ALL MY LEGS!!!

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

You're trying to let everybody know who was behind Frank's "Who farted?" face.

You're on your third recruiting class and have yet to bring a Fuller to Blacksburg

She asks if you're finished already......

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

when you've had to many drinks at happy hour on your lunch break Friday afternoon and your boss comes by your desk and starts asking questions about work......

#Bapn ain't EZ

Wanna win put boobie in! Let boobie spin coach!

Image result for lumberg gif

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

That moment when you read TKP's latest tweet

This little thing?

I'd react more like this:

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

You bet Bud and Shibest that you'd out score them by half....

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd