Breaking News: UVA to win next 6 games!!!

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Oh LOLUVA... Never change. They are the best kind of delusional.

Charlie Brown will always get an upvote from me.

One of my faves....

Virginia Tech would walk right up to you and punch you in the neck. They're just tougher. Cowherd 3:16

This just in: They've scheduled UCONN to repeat for the next six weeks.

A Hoo friend on facebook posted that they want UCONN to be their new rival.

Got a good chuckle out of that one.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Isn't Louisville their permanent crossover? Trade for BC, that's close enough to UCONN right?

“I remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” -cFB

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

I think he forgot the /s at the end of that post

To their credit, most of the responses are skeptical (and some are actually funny).

I like it, but I like glue too. **

''

I literally LOL'd at that one.

A response on the same board:

While you're at it, don't forget to wish for world peace...

Where is Lawson?!

I went ahead and reported abuse stating, "Y'all dont need to get this excited just to be let down horrifically"

Keep calm, Gobble on

Haha, funny - now we just have to figure out which one of us went over there to post that topic?

I reported the post as Abuse, so it should go away soon... with a reason "Because it will never happen - Go Hokies!"

UVA_Snap" />

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

I would read this thread but their shitty ass site wont load on my work computer.

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

I still cant figure out that fucking site to save my life.

TigerNet (Klempson's forum) isn't much better, but not quite as sucky. We're pretty fortunate here at TKP.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

My favorite response was "Is this what is meant by fan fiction?"

uva has more delusional fans than fans at their spring game.

Reality...it'll get after ya!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

step one, apply prayer where needed.

Thanks for reminding me that Bronco has a long history of losing to Boise St. LOLUVA getting beat down on the smurf turf will be entertaining.

"Utah...Get me two!"

"He doesn't like you...I'm sorry...I don't like you either!"

More like

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

My favorite response was:

"What sport are you talking about? This is the football board. . . ."

Fuente to Bronco:

Also...

with a good win against VT and then Bowl Game

Drugs and high hopes, they'll get after ya.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

with a good win against VT and then Bowl Game

I wonder what the definition of a "good" win against VT is? One would think that at this point they would settle for a bad win against VT...

Where's the beef?

It is losing by less than 38 points, bro.

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Another UVA fan was upset because they didn't receive any votes in the AP poll... It basically said that because they are 2-1, they deserve votes, and the only reason why they didn't get any votes is because of their record last season. To be fair, they haven't had anything to be excited about since 2011 until we beat them 38-0 on their own field and, before that, 2007 when we also beat them on their own field. Let them have their 2-1 record if that's what makes them happy.

Marshall University student.
Virginia Tech fanatic.

Boise, BC, Duke, GT, Pitt, UNC, Miami, Louisville, and us.

Other than BC, I don't see any more W's for Hoos.

I think they have a shot against Pitt too. Not saying it's a sure thing at all, but Pitt looks pretty bad so far.

They might be favored against Boise (from what I can tell they are back to a good team), BC, and Pitt. They have a punchers chance at UNC depending on which UNC shows up. But I think it is safe to say they will be big underdogs to Duke, GT, Miami, Louisville, and the good guys.

theyre not gonna beat boise at boise. their chances are pitt unc and bc. so if they won all 3 50/50 games and pull an upset sure thryll go bowling but i just highly doubt that happens

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

Yeah, UNC defense is so very bad this year, and their offense is very hit and miss. If the bad UNC shows up, UVa could give them a good game. Pitt looks atrocious, and BC is BC, so there is still a chance UVa makes a bowl. Also, don't sleep on Duke being a little worse than people are giving them credit for this year after their struggle against a Baylor team whose other losses are Liberty and UT San Antonio. I know they are undefeated, but the other 2 are against NCCU, which might as well have been a practice, and NW, which is basically the UVa of the Big Ten.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Whoa whoa whoa. Let's not succumb to hyperbole and compare Northwestern football to UVA. Northwestern has made 7 bowl games in the last 10 seasons and the seasons they didn't make a bowl they went 5-7, 5-7, and 6-6. They've had two 10 win seasons and a 9 win season as well. UVA has gone to 2 bowls with a 9 and 8 win season. UVA has averaged 4.6 wins per season while Northwestern has average 7.3 and never had less than 5 wins in a season. Northwestern has been a superior football program over the last 10 years and it's not even close.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinsku, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

I don't follow Boise much and UVA was supposedly good against UConn. I can hope for embarrassing losses for the rest of their games, but they might have a chance at a couple more wins.

uconn gives ecu a run for the worst team in the country lets slow down with the "they looked good". they also surrendered some 450 yards of offense. remember they beat central michigan last year and theyre still paper thin.

i still dont see them making a bowl game, way to reliant on an average benkert who melts down under pressure, which is bad news for such a horrendous oline

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

I can live with that. I wasn't aware that UConn was THAT bad. Kind of gives me a happy feeling knowing that UVA might be getting their hopes up to crushed under the foot of the rest of the schedule then.

UConn is a horrendous dumpster fire. UVA got dismantled at home by Indiana. They are not good.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinsku, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

To be fair I think Indiana is going bowling

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

Yes, IU is probably a bowl team.

Which is why UVa won't be.

LOLUVA intercepted UConn on the 1 and recovered a fumble on the 1 on 2 of UConn's first three possessions. If UConn gets points on those drives LOLUVA is down AT LEAST 10-7 in the 1st quarter.

A team a manager from UCONN showed up just after the first 10 plays of the game, he apologized for being late, there was an accident on the freeway.

He thanked UVA for starting promptly on time.
UVA was able to manage to score 17 unanswered points in 30 minutes of regulation time, essentially the first half.

Then the team bus arrived, UCONN was finally able to take the field at the beginning of the 3rd quarter.

According to ESPN they are a 13 point underdog to Boise, so there's that. I'd say BC and Pitt are winnable games, but this is loluva we are talking about.

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

This needs more legs. It's beautiful.

Work with a guy who went to Boise St and has season tickets. His general opinion on this weekend is he's glad they've got a warm up game this week to sort out their quarterback situation before things get serious with BYU and San Diego St.

Also, he knows not to bring up FedEx or I start yelling at him.

That didn't work out so well for him

I love the response when someone brings up that the post is making it over to the Tech boards and the OP responds with "Who Cares":

"Just wanted you guys to know this'll make you guys more of a laughing stock than normal?"

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

I poked around and saw the topic about the past 60+ years of UVA football, and pretty much how most of it outside of Welsh sucked.

The fact you offered such a post, void of complete substance and details...
I would suggest you provide yourself with more information about UVA's football of the years from 1953 to 1981. Once you have engulfed those two decades, maybe it will offer a better understanding of our school's football program and the challenges it faced during that time period.

I guess their ability to count only goes up to their most recent win total.

AXD185 going into war on the sabre over this

This thread is making it big over on our Tech boards btw. ** -- AXD1985 09/19/2017 12:12PM
Who cares? ** -- JR_Hoo 09/19/2017 12:52PM
Just wanted you guys to know this'll make you guys -- AXD1985 09/19/2017 1:34PM

You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup

That would get us to 8-1 with three brutal matchups against Louisville, Miami and VT. Of those, I actually think we match up well against Louisville and VT, but our ability to shut down a running QB will be key. I think we pull out one upset out of the three...most likely against VT.

.....wow.....

That amount of delusion is unhealthy

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

UVA is going to go 8-1......
Ya, and Rick Pitino is a class act.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Let's look at this a different way.

Duke's better than UVA straight up so that's a win for the Blue Devils 33-17. I think that is going to be a key game for them. UNC will be tired of losing and pissed off at 1-5/2-4, they'll roll easily over an inferior team 45-16.

Boston College is the weakest opponent left on their schedule, but still for the shitty Hoos it'll be very much a contest. BC is a tough team that has hung around with decent teams until late. In the end I think Scott Stadium is the deciding factor. The Eagles won't be used to playing in front of that many (few) fans and the relative silence will cause a slip up. Eagles lose a nailbiter 13-12.

Like UNC Pitt will be sliding early and be a talented team looking to make up ground in the win column. I think they match up very well against the no talent who?s, Panthers roll 38-16. GT is a tricky game for for our lace pantied brethren, but this game will come down to coaching. I'll take chin balls over no balls. Jackets win 57-27.

That will put the Boo Hoos at a solid 4-5 needing to win one of a brutal three games vs Louisville Miami and VT to even have a half chance at a bowl. I think they actually match up really poorly with Louisville and VT, and not much better with da U. I think they pull zero upsets in this stretch, but lose at least one by 50+, most likely against VT.

Final Season: 4-8, oh well there's always lacrosse season.

I want to know this guy's logic for thinking that they match up well against Louisville. If it's because they got relatively close to beating them last year at home in which Louisville took an afternoon nap for 3 1/2 quarters, it's Hoo logic at its best.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Easy on him...he doesn't know.

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Lets think about the BC-LOLUVA game for a second......The last time Lefty coached against LOLUVA, he beat them (ok, it was with our players). And BC just dropped 42 (??!!!) on Louisville. I think the hoos may be boo-hooing after the BC game.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Otherwise VT has not looked great against Delaware or ODU (despite what the scores were).

Wait, so take the part where we beat those two teams a combined 62-0 out, what? I don't even know how to compute this.

Okay lets ignore the most important stat in games, the score, and go to total yards 885 total good guy yards vs 372 combined bad guy yards. Nope don't see how he's getting anything from that one.

I loved this one. In reference to their presumed "toss up" games of Duke and GT, one Hoo said,

Thankfully both of those "toss up" games (IMO) are at home.

Yes, yes, because your raucous fans give you such a clear home field advantage.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Yes, yes, because your raucous fans give you such a clear home field advantage.

Hey now, Thomas, Alexander, and Jonathan can be quite the raucus bunch when properly Zima'ed up.

Don't look now, but they're halfway there. This UVa team has been surprisingly competent this year, which should make the annual beatdown so much more satisfying.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

I admit, I want their annual defeatist persona to have fully set in by the time we play them. They are 5-1 right now, and I want them 5-6 going into our game knowing they have to win to go bowling but knowing they have no prayer against the 11-1 Hokies.

While that would be satisfying, I would also take pleasure in them actually being good and VT crushing them. Really, just beat LOLUVA. Everything else is secondary. Bullet one on Fuente's job description should be BEAT LOLUVA. PERIOD.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

I agree. I want Tech 12-0 and UVA 11-1, shut out by big brother

Recruit Prosim

No, no...a thousand times NO. One of our favorite football experiences is watching the 'hoos lose. We watch every televised game, and root almost as hard against them as we do for the Hokies. We ring the bell and give the dog a treat every time their opponent scores against them. If they went 11-1 we'd be pissed off and sad and our dog would waste away. Please don't wish that on us!

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I'd suggest you feed your dog more than once a week.

The real life pro tips are in the comments.


also

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Their easiest game they have left is probably Pitt. They may actually go bowling this year.

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

They may already be in. 5-7 is good enough for a number of teams each year.

@Fightin_Gobbler

Go Hokies

Go Falcons

while there has been a couple 5-7 teams that have gone bowling in the recent past, I highly doubt that a bowl game would select a 5-7 team that lost 6 straights games to end the season.

Bleeding burnt orange and chicago maroon

They may not have a choice. 5-7 teams are chosen by APR, not conference tie-ins, so for example a 5-7 UVA would be selected for a bowl game before a 5-7 Florida State because UVA's football APR is 968 while FSU's is 939. Likewise, a 5-7 Duke would get a bowl game before either team because their APR is 992 -- good enough for 4th overall.

http://collegefootballnews.com/2017/05/2017-ncaa-academic-progress-rate-...

At this point, they should realistically expect to go bowling. Judging by their banter, I'd say the majority of them do. A few are even talking about their potential ACCCG matchups (LOL). The only thing better than a 1 or 2 win season for the hoos is if they lost out the rest of the way. Work up all these expectations of finally getting a bowl, just to have the door slammed in their face.

via GIPHY

Well they sure are on their way now to missing a bowl game. They lost their "winnable" games.....resoundingly (BC and Pitt). GT, Louisville, Miami and VT are left. Not sure they can win any of those except maybe Lousiville.

Louisville has been surprisingly awful this year but if they can beat anyone, it's LOLUVA.

That said, I can easily see LOLUVA falling backwards into a bowl at 5-7.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

You cant beat the delusional, pompous attitude out of the Hoo fans. We have beaten them for 13 straight years, they havent been to a bowl game in a long time, they have fired a couple coaches, have been the worst team in the ACC for a couple seasons and they go on a 3 game win streak and they are now about to take the state over again and they should win a hard fought game against us, etc etc. That board still has not reached the insanity of '03-'05, it had a little blurb in 07 and was going nuts again when London got hired up until 38-0. I dont know if there will ever be a more satisfying win that 04, the arrogance they were portraying was unbelievable. When they get a little momentum they think they are a blue blood that is back where they belong and us little peons better get out of their way. Its weird, they really have never had any moments on a national scale other than when they beat Florida State which has been over 20 years ago now. Part of their problem is VT, they want that so bad. I bet when they played Auburn in Atlanta a few years ago their fans were like WTF is the deal with these dudes.

Anyway, they do have a decent team this year and have exceeded expectations. We should beat them, but we have a lot to prove before then. The team better come ready to play, UVa has some talent. As much as I do like seeing UVa get beaten by the likes of Richmond and have 2 win seasons, it is funner this way. Especially when we beat them, nothing better than 04, 05, 07, 11.

Yes, Auburn fans were like "WTF is the deal with these dudes?" during that bowl game. We collectively had the opinion they were a bottom-dwelling ACC team having a great season, and that played out in the bowl game. Auburn won 43-24 basically without a quarterback (Barrett Trotter and Khiel Frazier played and scored points after taking over for Clint Moseley).

What can you say? They're winning.

Ok, so they beat UNC with the benefit of an uncalled obvious facemask. But a win is a win. The ACC Coastal has some very weak teams. Are they really weaker than UVa? Wow, just wow.

I hope they extend Bronco Mendenhall, and give him a raise.

I hope they extend Bronco Mendenhall, and give him a raise.

I hope they do that the week before we play them and then we drop a fifty burger on them and their fans melt down and demand his firing...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

That overall package would be like an early Christmas present.

In his defense, have you seen what BYU has turned into without him?

In BYU's defense, Utah lost Urban Meyer, and Whittingham has slowly rebuilt the recruiting. Bronco benefited from Urban leaving, and Peterson leaving Boise.
edit spelling

“I remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” -cFB

BYU went 9-4 last year without Bronco and it's too early in Sitake's tenure and even in this season to say that in my opinion. Their schedule was pretty front loaded and I wouldn't be surprised for them to go 5-1 to finish the season. BYU is a weird situation and they set up their schedule to be advantageous as they can overmatch most G5 programs and don't have to grind out most of the season against P5 competition. In 2011 they won 10 games but only beat two teams with a winning record (7-6 Utah State and 8-5 Tulsa). What they did under Bronco from 2006-2009 was pretty impressive but after they became independent it seems like they were able to schedule for success as much as anything.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinsku, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

UVA is the Big10s best collective non-conference win this year. How does that conference have 5 ranked teams?

Rip his freaking head off!

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Damn your GD leg.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Are we really pretending that Indiana over UVA is a better non-conference win than Michigan over Florida?

Chem PhD '16

Florida is 3-3 and has looked anemic on offense. They're probably better than UVA, but the fact the argument is between a midget and a dwarf I don't think the Big10 comes out looking good no matter what.

Rip his freaking head off!

A win over UF doesn't look as great right now, but it's still a better win than one over UVA. I wholeheartedly agree with the fact that B1G has a bunch of teams whose only real measuring stick is each other for the most part.

Chem PhD '16

Hey, that strategy worked for the $EC for many years...

"Those who jump into the void owe no explanation to those who stand and watch."
--unknown

Right now, based on records, it is. I was cringing typing this.

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Their recruiting is borderline atrocious- 11th right now on 247 and likely at signing day only ahead of Wake as GT and Pitt add higher rated guys... as London's guys leave they could look back on this year as the glory year.

'Its easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat,
but the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat'

Yes, and we want it to stay that way.

Sad that they could scrape together a bowl run from a missed facemask call.

Regardless of their inflated egos it's nice that the rivalry is not comatose anymore. It'll be that much sweeter when we go to Lane North and show them their place on the ACC pyramid.

pretty sure they knew their place on the ACC pyramid when they managed a stellar 1-7 conference record last year...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Nah, because Duke screwed it up and kept them from 0-8.

dont do that, its spelled who

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Their website gives my eyeballs cancer....

VT Marketing Class of 2009
Current Roanoke-Hokie
Go Hokies!

It's great the website Joe has built us. Hopefully we can keep growing the Key Players Club to keep it going FOREVER.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

I strongly endorse both of these messages. While also showing much empathy for the poster above and their family as they embark on this trying time of dealing with les ciseaux induced eye cancer.

I've been drinking.

More news: keys to improving LOLUVA's offense are to run more flea flickers and halfback passes. El Sabre

Womp womp

"Dick to Hyman? DICK TO HYMAN!" - Guy in Lane Stadium crowd when Richard Johnson hit Josh Hyman on reverse pass in 2004.

So they won all 6 games right? /s

I cannot believe the best they can do on LolSabre is calling CJF "Daisy Fuentes". How can they be this bad at shit-talking? Does anyone under 35 even know who she is?

These are the lamest fans in college football, folks. Photo below:

EDITED: let's not kid ourselves...

You're the only ones that I can talk to about this, you guys.

Leg for the edit!


Still more fans than a loluva football contest.

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Yeah, I had to look up who Daisy Fuentes is. Never heard of her prior to seeing the name being used on LeSabre.