OT: Best sports rant since Colin Cowherd's UVA bash?

This popped up on my twitter feed, I've been dying laughing for the past ten minutes. So many quotable lines, I'm going to be referencing this for a while.

Is this the best sports rant since Colin Cowherd trashed UVA for being the softest bunch of weenies he's ever seen?

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Comments

I'm still going with an oldie but goodie


Couple of funny things, but mostly just an angry rant. Not many true jabs in there.
But rants have become soft, so it might be leader in the clubhouse for the year.

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

This gif gives me mild PTSD

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

Cowherd's blows this out of the water as Cowherd's rant was actually articulate and comprehendible. This guy just sounds like he had too many Redbulls and is still upset he struggled in high school math.

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Also how does the pythagorean theorem apply to football? Its a geometry equation. Is someone actually trying to obtain relevant football information with it or did this guy just mix it up with something else?

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

That guy is not all that bright or educated it would seem so I guess that was the highest science/math thing he could think of. Not a big fan of fat, angry, middle-aged white men rants. This is why I don't listen to any of these talking head shows. Just not entertaining to me at all.

Yea it's a shame Pythagoras is getting so much hate from this guy. I mean I'm not sure what he did to deserve it, the man just loved triangles and who doesn't? But I wish he hadn't been dead for over 2500 years or he tear this ignorant fool a new one.

I swear to drunk, I'm not God

Pythagorean win/loss expectation is widely used in baseball to calculate expected wins and losses based on runs scored: see here. Don't know whether it's generally been applied to football.

well that's something I didn't know before today. I guess this fits with the saying "all models are wrong, but some are useful"

I swear to drunk, I'm not God

The pythagorean win/loss expectation and turnover margin are frequently used to get a sense of how well a team is doing or will do the next year. If a team won 10 games, but had a win expectation of 7 games with a bunch of turnover luck (e.g. +10 TO margin), then you would expect the team to fall back towards the mean and win closer to 7 games the following year.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Bill Barnwell uses it a lot for the NFL. At least he used to, now that he's on ESPN instead of Grantland it's impossible to follow his work.

It has been and the fact that this guy is calling it the Pythagorean Theorem just shows that he never even tried to understand what it might be able to tell him.

Chem PhD '16

It is, but I don't think it's quite as accurate (which makes sense, since baseball has a much bigger sample size).

It sounded to me like he was making an analogy with people who are justifying the poor offensive line play by the giants by trying to use fancy statistics, and people are getting so ridiculous in their justification of how bad the giants suck that they might as well be using Pythagorean's Theorem as part of their reasoning.

I thought it was hilarious.

Edit: I had no idea this was a sports metric

Chick Patty w/ Cheese

I'm pretty sure the advanced metrics all say the Giants line blows.

Came here expecting to see the following rant... but was not disappointed.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Love the Carcetti reference

PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM AIN'T PLAYED NOBDOY PAWWLLLLLLLL

But seriously. I can't help but feel like if he would've went further in school than the Pythagorean Theorem he wouldn't be yelling into a microphone about grown ass men. I don't know.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

the pythagotheum theorem thayth that the Gianth offenthive line

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

That is SUCH a good episode!

I was always disappointed with how they handled the weeping angels in the other episodes. This one was downright terrifying and they turned them into more typical zombie-esque baddies later.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Yeah, they got way too easy to beat in later episodes but that seems to happen to a lot of the baddies in Doctor Who.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

I really hope someone sets off Mike Gundy so that we can have a 10-year update of this rant.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

This will always be my favorite rant number 2 would be THEY ARE WHAT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE

Hello all you boys and girls I'd like to take you to the inside world It's quite an irregular place to be But never fear you're safe with me. Well maybe

I like it!!!
(see signature below...)

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

I'm partial to the Coastal Carolina coach's rant.

I love Gundy's but he was actually pissed. Bennett was just insane acting crazy. I tend to award more points for the crazy factor.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

I forgot about that. That is laugh out loud funny every time I see it, but Cowherd still takes the cake for me, because UVA is, well, LOLUVA!

--
"It's time to go play Virginia Tech Football longer and harder than anybody else in America!!" -- Justin Fuente
"I put a brick in Sacksburg today." -- Cam Phillips

What's even more amazing is that 10 years later it's still so vivid in all of our memories. And that Gundy hasn't changed a bit, other than the new mullet.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

No Cowherd is a bum.

Signed - Wiz fan

That guy may want to verify with his doctor that he is healthy enough to opine on football.

I thought this clip was going to be about some radio personality trashing UVA worse than Cowherd did. I was thoroughly disappointed when I watched it and there was no mention of UVA's softness, pretentiousness, or general lack of football ability.

Twitter me

Dude sounds like Kevin James

....but way funnier

Eh just an angry New Yorker that thinks the Giants are more important than they are.

"THAT PLAYER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT PLAYED HIS ASS OFF!!!"
-Bud Foster.

"THAT PLAYER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT PLAYED HIS ASS NUTS OFF!!!"

Did this happen? Did Bud get angry in a press conference?

I feel the uncomfortable tension just thinking about that...

Yup. After the 2012 Cincinnati game

LINK

This guy's just an angry middle aged douche.

"I mean, you know, fuck them, but good for them." -Too Druck to Funk

His midlife crisis was realizing he was still rooting for the Giants.

I've tried playing it twice, and there's no sound.

Or is that part of the joke with "no words"?

Apparently, my speakers crapped out this afternoon.

There are wolves and there are sheep, I am the sheep dog

yea this isn't even close to Cowherd's rant

Bleeding burnt orange and chicago maroon

Cowherd's rant to this guy's rant...

I'm a man! I'm 43! Hokie thru and thru.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

I actually disagree when it comes to the actual rant. Cowherd's rant only appeals to those who have a hate for UVA but if I had no strong feelings about UVA this would be my favorite.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

I can see where you are coming from but I put into consideration that Colin kept hanging up on and shit canning all the UVA fans that kept calling in to justify their program.

Bleeding burnt orange and chicago maroon

Oh yes it's a legend 'round these parts.

Let's say the UVA rant is the greatest coherent rant and this rant is the greatest incoherent mess of rage rant.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

For me this is a big ol' MEH. Dude wasn't quoting advanced metrics, he was quoting esoteric stats. There's a huge diff between the two. I'd wager that the advanced metrics on OL play would support what his eyes saw. As such, this comes across as an uneducated, ignorant, loud mouth rant, than anything else.

Love the Joe Pisarchek reference. ...as a 10 year old coming of football age so to speak in 1977-1978, and growing up in new jersey with my entire extended family being GIants fans, he was the defining reason that i became a lifelong Cowboys fan on the spot. I remember being at giants games where he was so bad that his own fans were absolutely raining snowballs down on him while he was heading into the tunnel at halftime.

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

This is tame compared to him on the NYR ESPNNY Broadcasts when someone tweets in a question regarding CORSI or FENWICK hockey stats.

Or just watch/listen to the Michael Kay Show on YES. LaGreca is good for at least one meltdown every two weeks when it comes to the Yankees/Mets, Rangers, or Giants. He blasted some caller earlier in the Summer for wishing that Noah Syndergaard and Yoenis Cespedes lose limbs just because they play for the Mets and not the Yankees. A ten minute epic lambasting.

Virginia Tech '08
Fordham University (NY) '11, '12

Twitter: @duffmanhokie
PSN Handle: duffmanhokie1568

Hokies, NY Rangers, NY Jets, NY Mets (sigh), USA Hockey, Richmond Renegades (R.I.P)

Torts Losing His Cool

John Tortorella's epic interviews and meltdowns. Don't know if anything tops these. NSFW.

Virginia Tech '08
Fordham University (NY) '11, '12

Twitter: @duffmanhokie
PSN Handle: duffmanhokie1568

Hokies, NY Rangers, NY Jets, NY Mets (sigh), USA Hockey, Richmond Renegades (R.I.P)

As someone that has done PR in Hockey, all I can say is I am glad I didn't have that media relations job while Torts was coach.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

A^2 + B^2 = C^2

"Exit light, Enter night, Enter the Hokies!"
VT MSE '17

Meh. Not a rant, just yelling

4/10 would not listen again. I still prefer the 10+ minute rant some DC sports host went on after the "Monday Night Massacre" Eagles-Redskins game back in 2010. I didn't discover it till sometime in the last year and it was glorious.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.