Hoos obsessed with Hoo?

https://virginia.sportswar.com/mid/10385196/board/football/

Great thread by UVA fans. Some good LOLUVA fan obliviousness.

Disclaimer: I realize reviewing a rivals team board could be considered an "obsession", but I'm bored at work and found it funny. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

nobody is obsessed with UVA sports

Chem PhD '16

UVA Sports anagrams to Pour Ass TV

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

pour ass you say?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

VT has been declining

I'm going to go ahead and stop this guy after his first four words. 19 wins in the past two seasons with a new coach is declining? Sure, everyone expects a dropoff this year with all of our key losses, but this season hasn't happened yet. You can argue that we are expected to dip this season, but has been declining? Hoo, please!!!

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

At worst, we've been treading water since a couple years before Beamer left, and that's at absolute worst. Declining is a hilariously untrue overstatement.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

well when you've been on top for so long there is only one way to go. declining is true but at what rate....

and since the slow decline we have actual gone back up? so id argue it was more like a....

#Bapn ain't EZ

Wanna win put boobie in! Let boobie spin coach!

There a many delusional fans on the sabres page. How sad

Tbh I almost prefer the delusional ones that are at least willing to admit that they do still want to beat us in football. Beats the hell out of the liars that say shit like, "We don't care about football. We don't want to be good at football. We're great at everything else."

I feel your pain, and there are few things in life that
I would like more than decimating the Hokies on the football field.

This comment is the truth. Whenever they beat us again, it will be obvious that all those UVA liars, who spent years saying they couldn't care less about football, are experiencing one of the happiest moments of their lives.

Whenever they beat us again, it will be obvious that all those UVA liars, who spent years saying they couldn't care less about football, are experiencing one of the happiest moments of their lives.

Question: WHY do they ever have to beat/we have to lose to them EVER again???

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

This is my opinion too. If UF can beat UK 30-some straight seasons, we should be able to do the same to UVA.

Twitter me

I'll willingly concede that it is statistically (though infinitely low) possible for them to win. But probable? No, I'll NEVER concede to that.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

I mean UVA has already pulled a once in 30 year feat by being the first #1 seed to lose to a sixteen, so they have proven that improbable doesn't mean impossible. They will beat us eventually, I can live with one out of twenty.

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Notre Dame holds the record of 43 straight wins against rival Navy.

I want VT to claim that record against UVA. It would look so nice next to the first #1 to lose to a 16.

Just gotta focus on going 1-0.

Wait...let me get this straight...

The crappola football team that is Notre Dame beat Paul Johnson 5 out the 6 seasons he was coach of Navy. That crapass Paul Johnson ended that 43-win streak.

Can we just beat him and GT 5 straight times please? (I just wanted to turn this into a FUCK PAUL JOHNSON post)

Let's Go

HOKIES

Their site is such a piece of shit.

The visceral hatred I get every time I see it is real.

It never ceases to amaze me how terrible it is.

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

I opened it up on my phone, and one of my first thought was "oh, they must have redesigned the site, it's actually almost readable now".

And then your comment encouraged me to go back and "request desktop site", and Hoo-boy, never thought I'd see a mobile site that's more usable than its equivalent desktop site.

I hate to say it, but some are providing very reasonable, rational responses to this clown, so I have to give credit where its due

New coach, back-to-back 9+ win seasons...

...taking over for Beamer who struggled to get to 6 wins in his final years.

How the hell anyone calls that a decline is beyond me. The delusion on this board about VT football v UVA football is strong sometimes.

JMHO, but I think we should STFU about VPI until we beat them again . .

I noticed the same thing actually. It seemed like a lot of people were trying to shut the poster down. One person said something like "We need to STFU about this until we actually beat them!" But seriously the formatting of that site makes me feel rage.

This might be the smartest little gem...

Don't ever expect VTs defense to suck

Their DC is one of the best in college football. He won't allow it to happen.

Bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips

I sort of feel bad for their more realistic fans. I've tailgated and enjoyed beers with a number of solid Wahoos who love their team but understand things haven't been good for a while and probably won't get much better anytime soon. I hope we never fall on times as depressing as they've had to endure.

Their delusional fans, on the other hand, are the reason I hope the streak keeps going.

I sort of feel bad for their more realistic fans. I've tailgated and enjoyed beers with a number of solid Wahoos who love their team

[Don't do anything]

but understand things haven't been good for a while and probably won't get much better anytime soon. I hope we never fall on times as depressing as they've had to endure. Their delusional fans, on the other hand, are the reason I hope the streak keeps going.

Oh fine. Here, have yer damn leg.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Hey, we could discuss JMU since we beat them the last time we played? LOL!

As if they didn't get smoked by U of R in 2016

As well as losing to W&M @ home in '05

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

@CraigThompsonVT

It's a lot more fun to tune into Le Scissors to hear the lamentation of their women at the end of the season, when either they manage to scrape together 6 wins and lose to by a large margin to Navy in a bowl game, or they don't go bowling at all.

Other than that, I hate to even waste my valuable time looking at their delusional posts. They got one highly-rated recruit that inflates their recruiting class, for now, so I expect they think Bronco has been wildly successful. Their site's a lot more fun in December.

I think the most delusional comments are about their confidence in Bronco. He was not a good hire. He had one 10 win season in his last 6 seasons at BYU, and only beat 2 ranked team during that time (2013 Texas and 2015 Boise, neither of which finished the season ranked). Combine that with the fact that he has/had no east coast/south east ties. Not sure why UVA is so excited about him.

Twitter me

The only real question is whether he can sell the Kool-aid they have to sell.

Since his goal is to have a weak OOC schedule so they can win 6 games, it doesn't seem completely out of reach.

Well if your previous coach was Mike London i think any run of the mill P5 coach would make you excited.

I do think Mendenhall has done an okay job on the field. London left that program in a bad state, and he's managed to turn them around into a bowl team in 2 seasons. Granted they got blown out in the bowl game by Navy and got shut out by VT the week before. Remains to be seen if he can recruit well though. His first two classes ranked around 60th in the nation I believe that will definitely have to improve if they don't want to be stuck winning 2-6 games a year

So, 4-8 meet expectations?

foresthokie
US Navy Vet

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

I laughed way too hard at this comment on that thread:

Aiming to beat VPI every 2-3 years is like aspiring to be a C student **

Calling the Hokies "VPI" instead of "VT" is certainly C-student territory, or from a different era.

to be fair, sometimes you have to adopt the lingo if you want to fit in and troll effectively...

Ironically, I really like calling Tech, VPI.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

& SU

Shenandoah University? Oh yeah, GO HORNETS!

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Are you from Winchester? Do you know Mark?

Not from there, but did attend there (Conservatory) back in dubba aught two. Does Mark have a last name?

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Mark from Winchester is a TKP meme from forever ago. I had no idea you were a musician. And apparently pretty good, cause Shenandoah Conservatory don't fuck around.

I mean if you really want to troll VT fans you have to say either Virginia Tech University or "Vah" Tech.

If the hoos want to call us "Vah" Tech then that would make LOLUVA the University of "Vah."
Although we could change the University of Vah to the University of Blah Football...

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

And we could pronounce UVA as YOUva for extra lols

Chem PhD '16

True, but also, aiming to beat us once in 15 years has to be like aspiring to be a student at UVA at Wise right?

has to be like aspiring to be a student at UVA at Wise

.

(expecting our brethren to come to the defense of wise)

.

.

#extendbronco

Robin Scherbotzsky is my dream woman.

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

Hmm, me I'm more partial to Cobie Smulders.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Well, I got to know Robin very well over the course of like...9 years. I just don't know Cobie that well. I'm sure I could come around.

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

I'll defend my hometown U...I don't think they consider themselves that closely aligned with LOLUVA. Most wahoos don't even know (or at least don't profess to know) that Wise exists. I think the D-II version of the Cavs are ok with that.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Yea, I was just joking around with that comment, should've /s'ed it as yes, you're right - they do not consider themselves closely aligned with LOLUVA

Idk why they think this is such an insult...?

"Go Hokies!" - Thomas Jefferson
@HaydenDubya

I just want ONE and then we can go from there. I enrolled at UVA in 2004. I have literally not seen us beat VT yet. Not once.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Hey me too! Except I enrolled at Tech.

If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous! With treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it's not for the timid...

Me too!!!!

Reach for Excellence!

VT Football: It'll get after ya!

Proud Hokie since 2004.

Me three!

Achievement unlocked: All of the Fullers

"Sam Rogers is a college football icon" SB Nation

Thanks Frank!

Well I feel old now.

Hokie fan | W&M grad

The last time lolUVA beat VT I was a senior in HS and Puddle of Mudd had just released "She Hates Me"... so 2003 sucked for a multitude of reasons

Bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips

Yup. This. Me too.

The hoo cousins are not thrilled when I remind them that they were in 9th grade the last time loluva won.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

The last time LULuva beat VT, I was 9 years old. I have since completed elementary school, completed middle school, graduated from high school, graduated from VT, and have been working for 2 years now.

"For those who have passed, for those to come, reach for excellence."

edit: my impression of hoos on the sabre:

.

via GIPHY

.

.

#extendbronco

Poor Mitch McConnell. He just wants to swim.

*The above statement is based purely on Mr. McConnell's looks and has nothing to do with his politics.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

He really does look like turtle.

Twitter me

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

I loathe the fact that without the postscript, your comment would probably be blurred. We should be able to make fun of politicians as people without everyone getting all #triggered.

Anyone else remember that god-awful Dana Carvey movie?

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Next time there's a gif dump thread, post this shit so it gets the legs it deserves.

Do not compare Wahoos to the common snapping turtle. Snapping turtles are bad ass animals that will F*ck shit up. Hoos fans wish they were a goddamn snapping turtle.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Yeah that turtle has way more vinegar in its piss than a hoo drinking a jar of pickle juice to cure a hangover. Dumbasses.

Where's the beef?

Dam right! Chelydra serpentina for life!!

My brother and I got one to bite a branch in the middle while exploring our local creek. He wouldn't let go. It was a big one, so I grabbed one end, bro got the other and we marched at least a quarter mile with that thing hanging on in the middle. We decided that if he let go, we'd let him be, but he didn't so we walked him all the way home and showed daddy what great trappers we were. Daddy thought less of the project, though, and before that guy was released back in the creek, he showed us what those jaws could do. While our branch was pretty stout, I watched that turtle chew through a broomstick, just for one lesson. He also took the time to teach us how to handle them, though, so there was value in that. When he asked if we wanted to learn to clean and eat them, we backed out and he helped us release it. Healthy respect and Hokieflyguy got it exactly right.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

The cupboard is barren in Charlottesville, Broco admitted to as much himself... .500 this season seems like a stretch.

If i were a lowlife UVA fan with an anthropology degree and a part time gig at my local library, I'd be very happy with the record improvement in 2017, but very concerned by the lack of depth currently on the roster and what's expected to come in with this year's recruiting class. Thankfully, I don't fit that description, so who cares, eat crow Hoos!

How can they aspire to beating us every other year when they only have 27 ACC caliber players on the roster with a recruiting venture that produces worse results year after year?

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Even a blind elephant finds a peanut every once in a while.

A transformative player, like Michael Vick was for us, can change things, and any team can have a bad day. They'll beat us one day, but I hope it's when I'm gone on away from here and departed this mortal coil.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

Caption contest for this please....

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Here we see the 3 stages of Cavaliers (Left to Right):
1.) The Waaaa-Hoo

2.) Existential Disassociation of Self (aka Just Wait For Basketball!)

3.) The Transfer Student

October 2008, Charlottesville, Virginia. Students react to the news that the Coors Brewing Company has stopped production of the malt beverage Zima.

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Surrounded by b1thches, and yet I'm the one wearing the squaw outfit?

Hokie fan | W&M grad

That was funny, and I'm still chuckling. I kinda like the lady though, she looks a bit like the Minnie Driver, whom I love, and definitely doesn't look like she belongs there...or deserves that.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

L-R:
OH MY GODDDDD! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!
Well Damn. Time for Zima.
Dammit. I am thoroughly pissed. I wasted my whole afternoon. I was told I was going to a Football game, what was this crap?

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

The bleachers are sad b/c they never get to support anyone

Clearly 5 attendees forgot that it was the weekly "aluminum effect" game

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

3 Stages of Grief of a lolUVA student, from right to left:
Stage 1, "Well.... fuck", the Girl: Anger that despite being led to believe otherwise you do in fact suck
Stage 2, "WTF", the douche in the visor and bowtie: Disbelief that it's possible to suck so bad for so long
Stage 3, "FUUUUCK", the other girl in the blue blouse: Acceptance


man, spring games are rough at LOLUVa...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

"When you're at Scott Stadium and you forgot that Foxfield was the same day as the Spring Festival"

The guy had a few valid points regarding the Beamer era - we never could translate our dominance in the early 2000s to excellent recruiting, and in the last 5 years we've played quite a few close games with the hoos. Where it goes off the tracks is he thinks we're on the decline with Fuente now. If we had Beamer still he might be right, but we're seeing an uptick in recruiting and i'd argue we're back on the (slow) rise.

Our D will be interesting to watch this year too.

If we end up with fewer than 9 wins this year they'll point at that and say the decline continuing. That is, until we come back in 2019 and blast everyone in the coastal with our still-young-but-now-experienced team.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

I want to be able to say this will be a reloading year with the losses being attributable to inexperience and mistakes rather than lack of talent. Really this is likely a rebuilding year where we will see some positional shuffling throughout the year as the coaching staff tries to plug all the holes. The bad news for the Hoos is that our team won't be inexperienced when we get to them, their only hope is our team is a collection of walking wounded like last year and the damage is minimized to another 10 point shutout.

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Yeah I agreed with the same points you did, watching in 2012-2015 was kind of rough. We missed often during those recruitment classes that we weren't that deep in talent. It was really only the few studs of the 2013 (Fuller, Teller, Hodges, Facyson) & 2014 (Ford, Phillips, Edmunds, Walker) classes that kept us afloat and not break the bowl streak and/or lose to UVA. After we lost the last few quality players from the Tyrod era we just couldn't reload. To me what Fuente did in his 1st year has been the most impressive so far. Taking the same talent (given with another yr of experience) and with a relatively still unproven 2016 class doing what we did. I was shocked, excited and impressed.

Fugazy

IMO there were two pernicious mistakes made after the 99 season:

1) Weaver not going full throttle to capitalize on the recency bias
2) Marcus Vick

1) Weaver not going full throttle to capitalize on the recency bias

In your reflection, do you think that played into a lot of the recruiting issues we had throughout the 00s?

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

People always bring up after 99, reality though, we had great teams through 2011. Its like people forget Tyrod. We were in 3 BCS bowls from 08-11.

That's when we didn't capitalize on recruiting from 08-11. There were some duds, players in the wrong positions, coaches not adapting. We left a lot in 10 and 11, and no one filled those holes. So 12 turned into a dud.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

we had great teams through 2011.

uh..No. We had great defense and some heroes that kept an offense together in spite of terrible OC's.

Tyrod started in 2007. That's a long time after 99. Before that time the team had the nation's attention and failed to capitalize on it. that is easily proved by just looking at what was accomplished in between that year and the next BCS Bowl game. We followed the 99 season with trips to the Gator twice, San Francisco Bowl and Insight Bowl before Bryan Randall got the team together and made the Sugar Bowl run against Auburn. In that time we had the Marcus Vick debacle that accelerated our QB room to use players early when it would have been better to redshirt them, including Tyrod.

We only got to those early bowl games because Jones and Suggs were so good, and Bud was killing it on the other side.

Our QB room survived on a few heroes that stepped up starting with Bryan Randall, then Tyrod, then a converted TE Logan Thomas, then a transfer Brewer. That's not capitalizing.

Our QB room is more healthy now than it has EVER been.

We Clemsoned in 2011. Coulda woulda shoulda. But I wouldn't say survived. Logan had wide receivers that could ball, and the O Line churned out yards in the ground.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

We made one of the greatest Cinderella runs with a literal game changing QB. And our first real "get" at QB was 7 years later who was forced into action his very first game against LSU. That's not capitalizing.

Part of that had to do with coaching. Part had to do with the "hope" that Marcus could turn his life around and be the second coming. Part had to do with Weaver's assessment that what got us there in the first place would be enough in the future as well. He ran a VERY frugal department which is fine, but look what happened when Whit took over. We started spending more to make up on facilities, additional staff, etc.

I'm not saying we didn't put together great teams. I'm not saying we didn't have some great players. But capitalize we did not.

This reminds me a bit about the swag convo in the D Ford thread. As Hokie fans we might remember the era between Vick and Tyrod and post Tyrod perhaps more fondly particularly with Randall or Brewer. But for a casual college football fan even one growing up in VA, there's Vick and Tyrod and a nothing else.Young football recruits and I'd even say many college football fans outside those that are hokies, they remember players and their dynamic qualities, "swag" and highlight/game changing qualities more than bowl games (outside of winning a national championship). For example Id imagine Lamar Jackson the generational player at Louisville will be remembered by recruits and non Louisville fans for his dynamic play rather than the bowl games and W/Ls and most people won't be able to name the QB that came before or after even if they get/got to the same number of wins.

Fugazy

Eh, I think a lot of people will remember Teddy Bridgewater, even though his success at Louisville kinda got overshadowed by Lamar.

It's a crapshoot, really. Too many moving parts with too many moving parts to be able to count on an outcome for any team. That's why it's so fun, that's why a school like VT has been able to enter the conversation, but that's also why it's so hard to keep anything going to the point of greatness. I've absolutely loved our many 10 win seasons and am not in the least disappointed with anything since the early '90s. Don't have to win it all to be good.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

But I do see a SIGNIFICANT difference in the way VT plays and wins from how they used to do it, and I'm very pleased with it.

I agree and that's what's made it such a good ride.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

HOO'S OBSESSED WITH HOO HOOM

FYFY

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

THANK YOU! I've been waiting literally hours for this comment (I'm not even clear that this is grammatically correct, but it's the first thong I thought when I saw it).

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

but it's the first thong I thought when I saw it).

You grammar Nazi's really do fetishize over this stuff

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Grammar Nazi's what???

thong. fetishize.

.

.

#extendbronco

lobbed it over the middle of the plate...someone please hit this out of the park

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

He has something to say

Edit: ment to be a reply to the comment above

There is nothing in the world like Thursday night in Blacksburg!

make sure to include this as well.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed