OT: Started as a JJ Rumor Thread, Now We're Debating Mayonnaise #ThisIsTKP

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[ mod edit: updated title to be more accurate because this devolved quickly ]

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welp, time to fill this thread with useless speculation as well

Am I allowed to do that tho

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

I think miracle whip is a shitty substitute for mayonnaise. There, I said it.

If it's not Dukes, it doesn't touch bread in my house.

Mmmmmmm......pie.

Damn I miss dukes so much!!

February..'96...the steak: ribeye, the whiskey:Lagavulin 16, the lady next to me: a bit**.....

Very happy the Dukes distributes up here in MD.

I swear to all that is holy if French says something against Duke's as well...

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Mayonnaise is nasty, period. And all we ever bought when I was a kid was either Duke's or Hellman's. The ONLY thing I'll put mayo on is tuna so it's not so dry, and then I mix in a lot of sweet relish to hide the taste.

I can't tell if you're being serious, but I reallllly hope not.

Dead serious. I can't stand mayo, never have. #TeamMustard

Is this how terrible I sound when I bang on cheese? Because cheese is disgusting, but a mayo and cucumber sandwich saved many a hungry day as a youth.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Probably. I mean, I'd rather eat a BLT dry than with mayo.

i agree, but have you tried honey mustard?

Chem PhD '16

Haven't tried it on a BLT, no.

Bud/Wiles 2020

You are saying the opposite of what's true sir

Mayo is one with all the other garbage white sauces people put on food because they don't like flavor (see: sour cream, ranch, etc). It's nearly as bad as cheese.

It's nearly as bad as cheese

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

French's burner account confirmed

edit: I made this comment before I saw his actual take on mayo in the other thread

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Okay, verified it is mayo...walmart brand mayo at that

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

That's the worst thing I've ever seen.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

I hate this, so much.

Anyway, I haven't checked on him in a while..wonder how he's been since the surgery.

As long as it isn't olive oil or canola oil Mayo, I approve of the Mayo.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Quit ducking the question. Duke's or nah?

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Some of the people in my beer trading group on facebook have never heard of Duke's (they're largely in the Northeast) - so I have started to include a jar of Duke's in my boxes of beer when I have shipped to them.

Save weight, they now have it in pouches (and I think it lasts longer)

I've been doing the small jars - but this is good info, did't know they did pouches!

I have a buddy who was a food chemist for Duke's in Greenville. I had never tried Duke's until I met him...great stuff.

Homemade mayo or nothing!

Mayo is probably the most overrated condiment ever invented. Yes, in minute amounts for holding stuff together as a binding agent (chicken salad) or even as a glaze on grilled fish, but to slather on a sandwich? No thanks. Dukes is just as awful as the rest of them and Miracle Whip works just fine for the little use I have for such slimy goop. Woe unto the food places who ignore my directive to hold the freakin' mayo. I can go ballistic over such a thing.
This is, of course, just my opinion, man.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I usually spice up the mayo and rarely eat it just plain. But I use it for a lot of things, from sauces, to cole slaw, to mac and cheese.

For burgers, I like the "In-n-Out" burger sauce. Fried Oysters I use it as a base for an Aioli. Same with homemade fries - use it for garlic parm aioli.

It's pretty versatile, much like the Caleb Farley of condiments.

I'm definitely gonna try this! looks good and i also hate it when my food holds a grudge, so it has that perk too

Chem PhD '16

What's
Important
Now

My grandma makes everything that needs mayo with miracle whip. And every time I have to force myself to choke whatever it is down, I die a little inside.

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

Any meaningful updates in the last 100 or so comments in the other thread?

No, these are for speculation.

If there is any real news, someone will create another thread, titled "whatever the news is".

That seems like an odd and very broad title for a thread. Hopefully, it'll be more specific than that. /ssssike

Good point. I suppose I misapplied the quote marks.

Grammar and spelling correction is another thing TKP excels at.

and thats how we do at thekeyplay

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

I hope when there is news, the thread title is actually "Josh Jackson-whatever the news is"

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

I heard a rumor that this is exactly what will happen

'13 Hokie

Source? /s

Worse case scenario JJ is removed from the university. Do we have a back up QB using the current receving crew that can compete to a winning record? Defense already has depth issues this doesn't stack up well in our favor me thinks

-Semper Primus

Will he stay at Tech if he's suspended for a year? I would think he'd stay if it's for a semester but a year?

Wow, so this is still a thing. Ok...

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Woof. And here I thought this meant there would be some updates.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

A good support staff wouldn't have needed a second thread 🙂

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Downvoted due to Lambchops song in my head every time I read one of your comments on here now.

And you're very welcome for that, too

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

...This is the song that never ends...
yes it goes on and on my friends...
alum started GIFing it KNOWING what it was... Vtmaroonorange keeps downvoting forever just because...

Let's Go

HOKIES

I thought we needed a support staff so we could have additional threads.

Or is it to buy them additional threads? #economicsaresoconfusing

Maybe we should just wait until Joe creates a post about the breaking news?? (if it ever breaks)

Which I've heard a rumor won't be before next week... This is a rumor thread after all.

i thought broken news was using 500 comments on a thread to speculate wildly about something that only a handful of people actually have knowledge of.... oooooh he meant breaking news. nvm gents proceed.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

VTGuitarMan MODERATOR  | 14 hours 27 min # ^
There's literally been nothing new for a week.

Don't come to this thread expecting news, just chatter. When something actually happens, it will be worthy of a new thread. We don't need a "part 2" just for people to speculate based on literally zero new information.

"Exit light..."

Comment Score: +4 | Vote: ▲ ▼

Chem PhD '16

and here i am trying to upvote inside the quote like an idiot...

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

I almost did the same thing!

Dont let this distract you from the fact that #1 UVA lost to a 16 seed

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

I'm here for the GIF's so this thread is an F- so far
I'm here for the Emma Watson GIF's so this thread is an F- so far

Bud/Wiles 2020

Chem PhD '16

so that's how they make wasabi.... interesting

#Bapn ain't EZ

Wanna win put boobie in! Let boobie spin coach!

*Mochi

Achievement unlocked: All of the Fullers

"Sam Rogers is a college football icon" SB Nation

Thanks Frank!

They're actually making mochi.

I guess I had to put the /ssss on that one. I was joking fellas.

#Bapn ain't EZ

Wanna win put boobie in! Let boobie spin coach!

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

By all that is holy and good, this should go plaid.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

If you want plaid, just paste in Pat Narduzzi swinging out over the water..

Chem PhD '16

This actually happened to me swimming in a pond in Shawsville VA.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Thankfully never happened to me swimming in my the Roanoke River behind my grandmother's trailer on old Roanoke Road in Elliston, VA.

Which pond? I live there.

Actually. I just won't swim in ponds there. Seems like risky business anyhow.

VT Class of '12 (MSE), MVBone, Go Hokies!

I hate when tarpon do that....

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Those tarpon are majestic

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

And that will forever haunt my dreams. Thank you.

What can I say? I aim to please!

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

Y u do this?

I feed off of nightmares

You really missed an opportunity not posting this in the mayo subthread.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

(Hangs head)

I am pretty disappointed in myself. Ha. Would have been perfect up there.

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

Pick that head up, buddy. The entire thread is about mayo now.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

What's
Important
Now

This thread seems to have moved somewhere between "Post your best gif" and "Discuss your thoughts on Mayo"

EDIT: and now hot dogs...

Edit

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

If it ain't Dukes, I'm not eating it. That's the end of the mayo conversation.

I'm feeling patriotic now

Using /s is for cowards.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

What's
Important
Now

I'm glad that we can again gif and shitpost at a reasonable speed. Especially since we're now between world cup games and I feel like otherwise I would have to 'work'.

Old sigline: I've been cutting back on the drinking.

New Sigline: lol it's football season.

Offseason Friday TKP is the best

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

Hot Dogs - Chili, mustard and onions. Anything else is criminal.

You forgot slaw.

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

.....and Dukes mayo......../s

Although, there is mayo in Cole slaw.....🤔

Mmmmmmm......pie.

Hot Dogs Mustard, onions, quarter of a pickle spear.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Slaw, chow chow, and mustard relish are acceptable.

Bonus points if the onions are grilled.

Spicy Brown Mustard, Onion, Kraut <---not criminal

I second everything in this list. But add slaw and the real game changer, crushed up Cool Ranch Doritos for the world's greatest dog.

And the world's nastiest breath

You're not wrong at all, but it's totally worth it.

I prefer a good burger to a hot dog every time, but for a hot dog my favorite is with homemade chili, Koops Arizona Dry heat mustard, fried jalapeño strings and queso cheese sauce with some fresh pico de gallo sprinkled on top.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Burger with ketchup, dog with chili. Why junk up a good thing? No chili available, a decent mustard, lightly used, will suffice on the dog, but slaw ruins every sandwich it's put upon, including or maybe especially, BBQ.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

You don't put slaw on your Carolina pulled pork sandwiches?!?!

That's damn near heresy.

Pretty picture, pretty gif, props to you. I'd take the pickle off, maybe eat it on the side, and then I'd scrape all that cabbage stuff off of it, see if scraping off the top of the roll would get rid of enough of the slaw juice to still be considered edible. If so, I'd carefully bite in to see if the contamination would ruin my Q, if so, ditch the top of the roll and enjoy the reason for eating BBQ, the meat. Like a Q sandwich for sure, as I have for more than six decades, but would rather eat it on the plate with a side of hushpuppies and decent baked beans than on a boring hamburger roll anyway. I give the slaw away.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

Let's Go

HOKIES

No chili available, a decent mustard, lightly used, will suffice on the dog

Who eats used mustard?

Eww...

"It's always great to beat UVA, that makes us all smarter and better looking for a couple days".

There is nothing wrong with "lightly used" mustard, just stay away from the "well used" varieties

'13 Hokie

Legs to y'all. Poor choice of words, eh?

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

These all sound like fantastic sandwhiches

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Do what?

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

I like my hot dogs with a side of WTF.

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

Hot dogs are criminal. *nauseated face*

Slaw and chili. Nothing else, including condiments. Slaw should have so much sugar that it hurts your teeth.

Five star get after it 100 percent Juice Key-Playing. MAN

Slaw should have so much sugar that it hurts your teeth

who hurt you?

This perfectly explains my emotions on how I opened up this thread thinking it was the original (Most epic TKP thread yet), only to find no new information

What's
Important
Now

Deleted

Underrated post.

79 comments (now 80) and Jackson is only mentioned three (now four) times. What a spectacle.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

Chem PhD '16

Using /s is for cowards.

The forehead creeps me out more than the hands.

This thread sucks. Someone delete this thing.

Using /s is for cowards.

no...

SharkbaitHokie | 6 days 23 hours # ^
no because if we don't learn from history we will be doomed to repeat it.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

Comment Score: +28 | Vote: ▲ ▼

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies

It's hella better than the other one.

All right. While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Hit the pace car?

Hit the pace car!

What for?

Because you've hit every other goddamned thing out there, I want you to be perfect!

HokieChemE2016 | 1 hour 23 min

This thread sucks. Someone delete this thing.

Comment Score: +3
Vote: ▲ ▼

Let's Go

HOKIES

The rumor I heard was that someone will suit up for and play QB for the Hokies this fall.

Boom!

#truth

Is it football season yet?

It's the off-season, so, given the current rate of attrition...

#debatable

...ugh, James Franklin is currently at ODU's football camp. My boy just sent me a screen shot of the tweet.

Tech just had one down there too.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

JOSH JACKSON SUSPENDED!!! It is (not) official.

"Dick to Hyman? DICK TO HYMAN!" - Guy in Lane Stadium crowd when Richard Johnson hit Josh Hyman on reverse pass in 2004.

He might have a chance if he switches to Tight End (or Running Back)

Hokies, Local Soccer, AFC Ajax, Ravens

I am dead at the edit the OP GuitarMan, our one true ruler and Moderator, made to this thread

*bows in apology*

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

What's all this noise about mayo?


__

Bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips

I will now know not to click on this thread anymore. This reached my limit, and I somewhat thank you.

"What are you going to do, stab me? - Quote from Man Stabbed

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

I'm going to keep my memory associated with Arizona State to the below, and not that...

Thanks for helping me erase that other one.

Q-U-A-L-I-F-I-E-D

It was a catch!

If I made a funny comment I probably stole it from Reddit.

FOSTERS: Australian for defense

Let's Go

HOKIES

A picture is worth a thousand words. A gif is worth a million.

Well I guess since I started this mess...

A little mayo (Hellman's or Duke's, Kraft doesn't cut it) on a burger or sandwich is great! Miracle whip does not cut it at all. It lacks the body of real mayo.

I think it's kind of funny how the ingredients of mayo (oil, egg yolks, and vinegar or lime) don't gross anyone out but the final product seems to be unpalatable.

While I'm at it, I don't like processed American cheese or Velveeta. I think it's pretty foul. A couple of days ago, I was at River and Rail in Roanoke (nice place) and had some Pimento Cheese made with actual shredded cheese. It was amazing.

Ranch is awesome but sometimes the right kind of Blue Cheese dressing can be pretty tasty!

ok i take back what i said earlier, burn this thread with fire

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies