Gambling Lines, Week 7

Last week was...rough. You know it's bad when the highlight of your gambling weekend is NC State managing a push at -5 so at least you got your money back. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

On to this week's spreads.

• Miami (-6) vs. LOLUVa. This should be a gimme right? LOLUVa sucks more than their record shows and Miami is "bak." What we have here is the gambling version of a perpetual motion machine. LOLUVa always sucks and Miami always disappoints. Not gonna touch it...Ok, if we're honest I'll probably still touch it, but that's because of my eternal optimism when it comes to LOLUVa losing.
• VT (-5.5) vs. UNCheat. I know you're never supposed to bet on your own team, but dammit if this doesn't look like easy money. This line is brought to you buy people who think UNCheat has a home field advantage. They didn't see anything but the score from the ND game and assume we were never competitive. VT by double digits.
• UCLA (+7) vs. Cal. I have nothing to say about these odds because I honestly didn't know these were two different teams.
• Mizzou (+28.5) vs. Bama. This is your weekly "sure the spread looks ridiculous against a P5 team and this is finally the week Bama fails to cover" bet. Don't do it. If you must bet on this, bet on Bama. Or make like 2 cents on the Bama ML.
• UTenn (+16.5) vs. Auburn. First of all, to my UT fan brothers-in-law, HA. OK, now that that's out of the way, I fully expect Auburn to roll the volunteers to the tune of 3 TDs. They are looking to run up the score after last week
• Michigan State vs. Pedo State. To borrow a line from PCU: "Nobody cares who wins because they're all assholes who cover for sexual predators anyway."

As always, please do not take my ramblings as legitimate gambling advice. You will lose your shirt and anything else you're foolish enough to bet based on my idiocy. TKP does not encourage gambling and even if it did, I am neither employed nor sanctioned by Orange and Maroon Media, LLC so who cares.