Hatin' On Hurricane Florence

Since I personally believe the game this weekend against ECU is gonna be canceled, I think we gotta call an audible on the Hatin' on thread.

WE THRIVE IN HURICANES, FLORENCE YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH!

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Comments

Florence ain't played nobody pawwwllllll

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

But UNC has

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

No they didnt, remember? The game didnt really count

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

Hurricane Florence caused everyone else to buy all the Flamin Hot Cheetos before I could get to the store today.

That son of a bitch

That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.

Those are pretty good, but everyone knows the Jalepeno Cheetos are the money Cheeto flavor.

The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me.

Jalapeno flamin hot was what I actually wanted to get but there were literally two bags of cheetos left on the shelf: regular flamin hot and lime.

Hurricane Florence thinks people will take him seriously with a name like Florence.

Seriously though, name hurricanes like "Hurricane Deadly Machine 3000" and people will pay attention

Deadly McDeathFace

Hurricane Body Count

The Dude Abides

Florence doesn't hold a candle to Scrambles the Death Dealer.

Edit: I'm disappointed that absolutely none of you appreciated this slightly above average Metalocalypse reference.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

My college WiFi SSID. Never watched but you just brought up some good memories.

I like this legend's approach

every time I watch this I want him to get knocked on his ass by some flying debris. Nothing too deadly, just funny. Like a cat. A cat would be hilarious. They'd both get what they deserved.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Fuck that cat in particular.

The hair is the cherry on top in the video.

"Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something." -Ron Swanson

I went to my first Virginia Tech bowl game while I was in the womb.

Florence blows

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

UNC swallows

I don't know what a Hokie is but God is one of them- Lee Corso

I feel like our younger guys needed this game.
Also, I literally wait all year for Hokie football and now I'll most likely be denied an entire game.

Fuck you Florence
- a selfish fan

But for real, all you Hokies stay safe out there. Load up on necessities and have a plan, never know how this thing'll turn out.

I'm safe and comfy in South Dakota, so I'll be watching other games this weekend and playing Spider-Man. (Fucking amazing game, highly recommend)

FUCK PLAY STATION. I barely play XBOX these day but want this game.

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

Man, I feel bad for Spider-Man fans with xboxs. Truly missing out!!

Florence wishes it had a central pressure lower than 900 millibars!

Let's Go

HOKIES

Florence ain't no Wilma...plus she's not even bringing The Machine...WEAK!

Logged in to upvote this because Florence singing "Did I build this ship to wreck?" keeps running through my head thinking about how she's gonna fuck my dad's boat up in Wilmington and he's gonna do something dumb like try to shoot her.

Surely you can't be serious...I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

Florence unfortunately heard about the #NC2VT movement

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

If you're reading the above post and thinking, "is this guy serious?!?," you can safely assume I'm not.

Florence doesn't think the dog days are over.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Why is James Bond aiming at Florence?

James Bond wasn't the one aiming he was the one getting aimed at.

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

I don't understand. That is Florence Welch, from Florence and the Machine...

Chem PhD '16

I see it now!

LOL

Hurricane? More like...Hurrican't.

“Stats are for losers.” -Mel Kiper Jr.

Saw this in the thread today. Chris is a smart man!

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

I'd advise against that

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

The property manager of the condo building 2 blocks down from where I work actually got fired for doing that during Irma. He apparently had a panic attack and went out on the balcony at some point and started shooting into (well, towards) the Gulf. No other details ever made it out except that. I only heard about it from my boss who is best friends with their board president.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

I have multiple Facebook friends marked as attending "shoot guns at hurricane Florence to scare it away"

Chem PhD '16

I mean, I have multiple friends on the Blow Fans at Hurricane Florence group

I just saw one that said we are suppose to play Nickelback and Creed tomorrow to scare the hurricane away

two more:

"talk about craft beer until hurricane florence hears it and runs" and "yelling Not My Hurricane at Florence"

Chem PhD '16

"Sacrifice Florida to appease Florence"

As someone who lives in Florida, I say bring it on.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

"Cover Hurricane Florence with FlexTape"

Chem PhD '16

Trump advised the EPA that if they didn't fire handguns at Florence, there would be fire and fury like you wouldn't believe.

The Dude Abides

Everybody knows that you aim leaf blowers are hurricanes. Not guns or cannons

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Hey that's me hahaha

It was a catch!

If I made a funny comment I probably stole it from Reddit.

Dear Florence

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Leg for Flight of the Conchords. That scene is fucking hilarious.

"Why did I get double stuffed?"

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

Flight of the Concords is very underrated. I hated it when I first saw it, but as an adult it's hilarious.

What's
Important
Now

Ugh, mandatory evacuation starting tomorrow at 8am.

I am not amused.

Edit: with the hurricane. The thread still amuses me.

By all means stay and face the wrath of nature?

But please don't, this shit's real.

Oh, we're getting out. A few days with the in-laws won't be so bad, right?

Right?

That is what alcohol is for.

Danny Coale Caught That Ball!!!

Hurricane Flo once knocked Progressive Insurance Flo on her ass

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

This is hatin' on, not dotin' on.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Are you assuming knocking out Progressive Insurance Flo is acceptable? Cause she saves you money on car insurance.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

No, the Name Your Price Tool saves you money on car insurance. Flo is just (usually) the one that holds it.

Something, something, tallywhacker.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Exactly the opposite. I was thinking the hatin' on would read Progressive Flo knocked hurricane Flo on her ass, but it can kinda be read both ways as to whether it's hatin' on or not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Is there any chance the game would be rescheduled?

Read somewhere that there's no room to reschedule, so a cancellation means no ECU this year.... which I'm not entirely upset about

a cancellation means no ECU this year

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Hurricane Flo can kiss mah grits!

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

Good one.

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

Hurricane Flo is living up to her name in shape. Stay safe ladies and gents.

I appreciate all the support, and I appreciate all the hate I am getting. I will continue to work as hard as I can to be the best I can be and bring this team a championship. Go Hokies 🐔 - Josh Jackson

The dark red with the purple dot kind of looks like a turkey head. Ironic that it is over the areas where we have dominated under Fuente: ECU, Duke, UVA, UNC, and may as well throw Liberty in there from the 2015 season.

Hurricane Florence is a Machine.

No, Bert Kreischer is The Machine.

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

Anyone who hasnt seen that skit needs to get on YouTube now.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

Yes.

(Pssst....some NSFW language.)

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

Greatest Story Ever.

that was hysterical!

Hurricane Florence runs like a Willie Taggart offense, as soon as it hits ground, it stalls out.

Hokie fan | W&M grad

Wrap it up everyone. We're done here.

"For those who have passed, for those to come, reach for excellence."

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Modified: While all of the necessary water has been purchased by those who need it, thankfully people have not purchased all of the chainsaw blades so I'll have the ability to cut my neighbors out of their driveways.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Not if your on a private well, unless your have a generator. I just fill up a bathtub to be safe.

Even on a public system, if there is flooding, there's a potential for contamination.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

That is correct. What most fail to realize is you can simply stick a five gallon bucket a outside and collect plenty of rain water. If you wish, boil this on a camp stove and you'll have more than enough.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

But when the power goes out, especially for an extended period, water treatment plants might not function as usual, which could make your tap water unsafe to drink.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Correct. Easy solution is to stick a 5 gallon bucket outside and collect rain water and then boil it on a camp stove if you prefer.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

With what shall I boil it, dear fly guy dear fly guy? With what shall I boil it dear fly guy with what?

(Assuming the power goes out, which is why you would need to stick a bucket outside to catch rain if you're on a well.)

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

I HAVE MADE FIRE 🔥

Let's Go

HOKIES

then boil it on a camp stove

I guess I'm the only one who considers a camp stove to be a useful piece of equipment when everyone else is out looking for bottled water.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

I have the camp stove, woodstove, barbecue, and the oil lamp in case we need them. Growing up in area prone to hurricanes, northeasters and blizzards makes one paranoid.

Assuming everyone has camp stoves

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Or are able to have a fire adjacent to their building because of what's allowed (some apartments don't allow grills, etc. at all) or that dry wood can be found in order to start a fire.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Or that a fire can be created under rain significant enough that you can put a bucket outside and get a sizable amount to boil.

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

and come on guys. Everyone knows that if you put every fan you own outside and run extension cords, the wind will spin the fans and it's just as good as having a whole house generator. Wake up sheeple! /s

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Hurricane Florence wishes his name was Bud.

I don't know what a Hokie is but God is one of them- Lee Corso

Fuck Hurricane Florence.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Simple, concise, to the point, and accurate.... 10/10

Bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips &
bacon strips

Anyone else think it's ironic that THIS is the person that is responsible for potentially billions of dollars of insurance claims and property damage?

I've always thought she was annoying...

Different generation. I had this image of Flo.

I see your irony, though. Leg for that.

The Poster Formerly Known As The Spirit Of Bernard Basham

I think of Florence from the show Wrecked on TBS. I may be the only one though

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Dunno how I missed this the first time, but she is SO annoying. Always has been. I'm amazed and disappointed that more people don't see it that way. I gave a mild chuckle at first viewing of her first ad. Now I have Imagine Dragons-levels of hatred for the Flogressive marketing campaign.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Still more loaves of bread left than fans at UVA's Spring Festival. I love it.

My wife and I fail at emergency shopping for the storm. We spent less than $40 and got our normal staples.

Then again I put generators at the New River Water Authority raw water intake and the plant. So we will have water regardless.

Florence is God's way of saying that we shouldn't schedule ECU.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

ALL. THE. LEGS.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

I'm pretty sure even god is sick of us playing ECU and is bailing us out

Keep calm, Gobble on

Hurricane Florence thinks it needs a "hurricane loan."

Announcer: "Going now live to sideline reporter in Lambeau, here to talk to losing quarterback Mitch Trubisky after that predictable loss to the Packers."
Reporter: "Just one question Mitch, how do the Hokies play in hurricanes?"
Mitch: "Huh? I thought you were gonna ask about how good Aaron Rodgers is?"
Reporter: "We might get to that, but first, how 'bout them Hokies when playing in a Hurricane?"
Mitch: "Football shouldn't be played in Hurricanes!"
Reporter: "That's not what I asked. Also, football should be played in all weather conditions, just ask Aaron Rodgers over there"
Reporter: "Hey Aaron, isn't that right!"
Aaron: "Hell yeah! We play 'em in Snowcanes! That's what we call tropical depressions that come off the great lakes...........I think......."
Reporter: "So Mitch.........Hokies......Hurricanes......They any good........Don't make me go down to Texas to ask A&M......."

LOLUVA is going for it on 4th down again!

My children have never known a day in their lives when VT hasn't owned the commonwealth cup!

Hurricane Florence tries to distract from the fact that we're 2-0 and Top 15.

And Arkansas blew a 24-pt halftime lead.

And overall #1 UVa lost to 16 seed UMBC.

Florence fails.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Hurricane Florence thinks Patt Narduzzi is a cool guy.

Florence thinks the F$U backpack is a spectacular idea to create camaraderie among the team!

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Hurricane Florence thinks the Lunchpail is also a cheap knockoff of the Turnover Chain.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Pretty sure that was the reference for the funny reply in the first place

Figured, but I wanted to share the sauce for anyone that may have missed it.

Anyone that thinks this should NOT be trusted.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

Florence just saved Fedora's job as they have just canceled the UNC UCF game. Guess they didn't want to have excuses for losing to the co-national champs.

WVU - NC State was also canceled

What's
Important
Now

Dammit. I was looking forward to a 70-point beatdown of UNC.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

You'll see one when we head down there later this year.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

FREE THE "STICK IT IN" CHANT!!!

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

Sharknado?

The Mud Dogs are going to the Bourbon Bowl!!!

Sharkicane.

Hurrisharks? Shark depression? Shark storm? Now I feel bad for sharks. That's f'd up on so many levels

The Mud Dogs are going to the Bourbon Bowl!!!

PSA IF ANYONE FINDS A SHARK IN YOUR YARD AFTER FLORENCE PLEASE HELP IT GET BACK TO SALTY WATER. IF YOU ARE NOT NEAR A SOURCE OF SALTWATER YOU CAN GIVE THE SHARK TAFFY OR FOLLOW THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK:

Salt water—35 ppt
Seawater ranges in salinity from 33 to 38 ppt (SF Fig. 2.3). The average salinity of ocean water is 35 ppt.

Weigh 35 g of salt.
Add the salt to a beaker and add fresh water until the total mass is 1,000 g.
Stir with a stirring rod until all the salt is dissolved.

Courtesy of this site, which I found by googling, myself.

You can also use the tears of LOLUVA, UNCheat, and F$U or even Nardouchie.... There is plenty of salinity there... You could build an aquarium with all that salty water.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

Hurricane Florence thinks it's better for ECU to go ride Pirates of Caribbean and Space Mountain rather than come to Blacksburg for a butt-whippin'.

Too soon.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Florence is a bigger tease than most of my college girlfriends.

I'm I the only one that's a little disappointed that we haven't seen a Foe-rensics on Hurricane Florence yet?

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

THIS. Foe-rensics is my favorite thing about TKP.

"FLO-rensics"

Hurricane Florence rotates clockwise.

@hokie_rd

What a slut.

Can we please start a Yvonne Strahovski gif subthread?

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

Well, that didn't go as far as we had hoped.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

It is gonna be a slow day at work. We can save the situation.

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

Guess it's up to us.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

"Some days you’re a horse and some days you’re a horse’s ass. I’ve been a horse’s ass for a little while." - Roy Halladay

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

wow. so i guess the whole don't post NSFW pictures/gifs rule doesn't apply to you guys? Come on, some of us have a hard enough time explaining why TKP is always up at work as it is.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Sorry Buddy got carried away...

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

I swear I've seen her in something before. What's she been in? I Googled myself about her and I didn't recognize anything.

Chuck mainly. Also the last couple seasons of Dexter. And Mass Effect 2

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

Hm. Never seen any of those. Guess she just looks familiar

I wouldn't mind being a little more familiar, myself.

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

HOAT isn't that kind of horse. You should at least offer a movie and a bag of oats first.

Sugar cubes work every time.

Since you agree I ain't gonna let you drive this car to dinner and I agree you ain't gonna let me drive this car to dinner, there's only one way to settle this.

Is that a carrot???

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

Also currently in The Handmaid's Tale.

Emma is not amused...

Was going to complain about facing ECU and you made it so I have to complain about NOT playing ECU!

Hurricane Florence wore a turnover chain t-shirt against LSU, only to be shown in the crowd late in the game with a crestfallen look.

The Dude Abides

Florence went all angsty in HS, got a boy hair cut, wore black tank tops and camo pants, and changed her name to "Flawrence" for a year, but she gets really pissy when you bring it up.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Hurricane Florence anagrams to Cancel Furor Herein... which, if you only saw what went down in the ECU cancellation thread....

Chem PhD '16

I'm really digging your anagram style lately. +1

since we don't got no hokie bingo this weekend....

#Bapn ain't EZ

Wanna win put boobie in! Let boobie spin coach!

Florence blows as much as uva sucks