Editor's Note: I'm out of town and friend of the site Furrer4Heisman did me a solid and wrote this for y'all. --Joe

After numerous pleas, threats and bribery attempts, the ACC has finally released its 2013 football schedule, a mere four months after the SEC, three months after the Big 12 and a month and a half after the Pac 12. Oh, and the Big Ten? They got their 2013 conference schedule in April ... of 2011.

But, hey, at least we finally have this thing and can start booking hotel rooms and RSVPing or not RSVPing for weddings. Sorry, Ron, but I told you not to get married during football season.

On to the schedule, which sucks.

Aug. 31: Alabama (Georgia Dome)
Sept. 7: Western Carolina
Sept. 14: at East Carolina
Sept. 21: Marshall
Sept. 26: at Georgia Tech (Thursday)
Oct. 5: North Carolina
Oct. 12: Pittsburgh
Oct. 19: Bye Week
Oct. 26: Duke
Nov. 2: at Boston College
Nov. 9: at Miami
Nov. 16: Maryland
Nov. 23: Bye Week
Nov. 30: at Virginia

The date everyone will immediately be up in arms about is playing at Georgia Tech on short rest. I'm really not that concerned about it. If anything, it gives the defense more time to recover after facing 60 minutes of cut blocks, which could be more important than having more time to prepare for the option.

Usually to start this column I have a humorous anecdote or something major that has happened either to me recently, such as Peter Lalich's Tupac to my Biggie Smalls (kids, ask your parents).

But this week? Nothing. It was just a weird week of random stories that really had no bearing on my life at all. I think this can all chalk up to one thing: senioritis. I have noticed that my level of caring, especially in a scholastic sense, has fallen off a cliff this semester. My production and care has dropped off so much, you can basically call me Rorell Breddie.

(Side note: To put it in perspective, do I know my dad reads this site pretty religiously? Yes. That is my level of caring right now.)

Anyway, I think the karmic gods have come back to bite me in the behind because not only do I not have any awesome stories...well none that don't involve rails or the words "snow beers"...but also my internet cut out almost ALL day yesterday, meaning that I couldn't even email this column to Joe.

Karma is getting me for being lazy...and the worst part is that I don't care at all. Is this what being Matt Leinart is like?

Anyway, here are some of the better stories over the past week:

And by summary I mean a minimal amount of words surrounded by pictures, tweets, and stats.

Game Summary:

Duke was able to overcome Virginia Tech's early 4-point lead (1st half, 18:42), and win by 32 points.

Statistical summary:

• Erick Green 22 points (39.28% of Tech's total points)
• Seth Curry 22 points
• Virginia Tech 1-16 (6.3%) 3-Point FGs
• Duke 12-17 (70.6%) 3-Point FGs

Cassell Guard Chant Effectiveness Summary:

Coach K on Seth Curry: " By the way, we know who his daddy is. He was right behind the bench."— Mark Giannotto (@HokiesJournal) February 22, 2013

Who's your daddy? *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap*

Coach K's underwear summary:

Bunched.

Dell Curry's Shoe Selection Summary:

Dell Curry rocking Maroon and Orange shoes. #Hokies twitter.com/vthokie/status…— Damian Salas (@vthokie) February 22, 2013

Both Virginia Tech and Duke lost over the weekend, and that's about where their similarities end. Duke is really good, and Virginia Tech...eh...not so much. The Hokies are trying to end their 8-game losing streak, while the Blue Devils are trying to weather the storm while Ryan Kelly is out, and catch Miami atop the ACC standings.

The top two guys in the race for ACC Player of the Year, Erick Green and Mason Plumlee, (you could easily argue Shane Larkin of Miami too) will face off tonight. Each is having an impressive year, with Erick leading the nation in scoring, and Mason averaging a double-double. If the Hokies want to win, stopping Plumlee will be the top priority.

The senior forward [Plumlee] ranks second in the ACC in both scoring (17.6 ppg) and rebounding (10.4 rpg). He is averaging 6.5 points more than he did last season, and his rebounding average has also increased.

Others might be surprised by how much he has blossomed, but he is not among them.

"I did see it coming," Plumlee said Tuesday in a phone interview. "To have the kind of year that I want to have, and I want to be even better going forward, you have to see it before you do it. So when I would think about it over the summer and in the preseason, I saw myself doing certain things on the court and putting up particular numbers."

We all remember exchanging thoughtless valentines with people we didn't actually love in elementary school. We just scribbled names on the backs and blindly handed them out. My condolences go out to John Swofford's kids. Unfortunately, they'll be handing out the ACC's Valentine's Day cards. Don't believe me? Have a look below, and remember to purchase them at any local retailer where Raycom goods are sold*.

*Expired, third-tier rights were sold.

When I started to write this, I was very concerned that there would not be an awesome college football story to lead things off. We are officially in the doldrums between signing day and spring practice, and players getting in trouble is one of the few things that grabs a headline.

CUE NICK SABAN'S MUSIC!

That's right, the moment I started writing this column was the exact time the Twitterverse broke the story of four Alabama players getting arrested, three for second-degree robbery and one for the fraudulent use of a debit card.

Obviously the Hokie in me initially hoped that this could somehow give Tech an advantage come August, but after further research I found that when you have a roster full of four-star recruits, it's not hard to replace four freshmen (three of which who barely played last season). After further reading, however, it's simply mind blowing that these guys thought they could get away with it. Alabama football players are the biggest celebrities in Tuscaloosa. That would be like an actor driving drunk in Hollywood, or Lil' Wayne getting caught with pot in New Orleans... Well, you get my point. All are indefinitely suspended.

This has been a big week for me.

First off I had a promising interview with a potential future employer. That was cool and all, but Sunday probably took the week. No, I take that back. It DEFINITELY took the week. Why, you ask? Well, the short answer is that I may have a new mortal enemy.

Let me break it down for you in three steps:

1. The Super Bowl happened: This one is pretty obvious. Biggest game of the year.
2. CBS broadcast the Super Bowl: Again, pretty obvious. But breaking it down even more, Joe hates CBS and its overhyped shows like Two Broke Girls Who Work For NCIS Hawaii 5.0. Understandable.
3. I had to make a sarcastic Tweet about Joe's hatred of CBS. See that sarcastic comment below? Well let me run it back again.

@thekeyplay Two Broke Girls is the Peter Lalich of tv shows.— Brian Marcolini (@marcolini11) February 4, 2013

The Terrapins make their return trip to Blacksburg tonight. The Hokies lost the first meeting in College Park 71-94.

Maryland is 4-5 in conference play, suffering their last 4 losses on the road. This bodes well for the Hokies, who are currently on a 4 game losing skid. Might tonight be the night the team is finally rewarded for the increased effort given as of late? If they want to stop Maryland, they'll have to defend the 3-point line better. Maryland sunk ten 3-pointers the last time out, 3.5 more than the Hokies are allowing per game this season.

Maryland ranks first nationally in rounds (42.6), and second in rebound margin (11.1) with a front court including Alex Len (12.7 PPG, 8.2 REB), a future lottery pick. I expect the Hokies to do the same thing they did last time in the front court and start both Cadarian Raines and Joey van Zegeren. Tech did a great job on the boards then, but if Maryland switches to zone be prepared for Tech to get beat down low.