OT: Toaster in loluva locker room...

https://247sports.com/college/virginia/Bolt/Virginia-Cavaliers-Football-...

We've had some glimpses of Bronco's coaching methodologies. The next level is making Lane Stadium North feel more like home. Practicing and taking over the visitor's locker room was not enough, something was missing. Solution: TOAST!

So funny. Have at it TKP.

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Comments

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

First off...

Though now I would like to know what TKPers prefer to put on their toast.
I take jelly, preferably apple.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Apple butter and happy to tell you about it.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

Toast Topping Power Rankings:
1)Apple Butter
1b)Various Nut Butters (phrasing intentional)
2)Regular Butter
3)Various Jellies, Jams, and Preserves
.
.
.
.
.
Last Place: Orange Marmalade

Throw Pumpkin Butter in at #2 and keep the order the same and I will agree.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Have not had this, sounds great, but I also failed to include Peanut Butter between Apple Butter and Regular Butter

Peanut Butter Cashew Butter

FTFY

I have been waiting for someone to bring Nutella into this, just so I can shoot dirty looks in their general direction. So far I am proud of everyone.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

So very very good. Was sent this on my last deployment and I'd make toast for a snack/dessert in the wardroom with the stuff.

Thank you very much for your service.

#MakeVTFootballFunAgain

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Nutella really isn't nearly as good as everyone says. It's way too sugary in my opinion

I agree. It is way too sweet.

I agree, and I generally don't like sugar, but that stuff is amazingly addictive.

Apple butter is cool, except that it tends to remind me of applesauce and then things get weird...

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

You are eating the wrong applebutter. See me for the correct stuff.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

I'm penciling in a future appointment to Lot 18.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

My grandma (RIP) used to make the best apple butter ever. Period. She used to make about 75-100 mason jars worth each year for Christmas. Man that stuff is gold. If you disagree:

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

Not jelly of your apple trash. Strawberry is the jam.

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Apple > Grape > Strawberry IMO. Don't @ me, bro!

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Regular butter and fox grape jelly...it'll make your day.

Amateur superstar and idiot extraordinaire.

Dry.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Elwood!

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.

Bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayo.

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

Let's add a third slice and ham for a Club!

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

Toast. Peanut butter (crunchy of course). Bacon. End of story.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

Just an over easy egg on it for breakfast. A few sandwiches are good, but all require bacon. Egg cheese and bacon, BLT, club, peanut butter (crunchy) banana and bacon. If they give it to me at as a side at a diner I go for apple butter first, blackberry jelly second, and strawberry as a third choice, but given a choice its biscuits instead of toast as side every time, and I AM buying the side of gravy.

My eldest saw something on TV where baked beans on toast is a traditional English breakfast, and he makes it some, but I tried it and don't get it. My dad likes shit on a shingle, but he went to grad school at LOLUVA, which may explain it.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

I always thought they were toast.

Somehow it just feels right.

Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

The toast topping debate could be cake vs pie 2.0.

3.0, that is.

Moe's vs. Chipotle is comfortably 2.0.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

I mean it's not really a debate, Moe's won.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..


This just in moe's is better

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Well, of course.

But you know how you still have to play out the clock even when the game is well in hand?

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Guess I forgot about that one. No Moe's or Chipotle around here. 3.0 it is based on the thread so far. Wow.

Team Peanut Butter!

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Wholeheartedly agree with this!

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

I agree as well. Now the question begs, crunchy or smooth? #teamcrunchy

There is no question. Crunchy or GTFO.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

I like mine topped with a little mayonnaise, a fried egg, a slice of sharp cheddar, sausage patties, another fried egg, and another piece of toast with a little mayonnaise.

I am not sure what to do with my hands now

Dad? Is that you?

Achievement unlocked: All of the Fullers

"Sam Rogers is a college football icon" SB Nation

Thanks Frank!

I was set to give you a leg until mayonnaise....

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Easy enough. Butter and strawberry jam.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

Is this because their season is usually toast by Week 6 or because playing there make you want to drop a toaster in your ice bath?

I am not sure what to do with my hands now

This is why people make fun of these brie cheese eating, Zima drinking, chess playing virgins.

I would root for the Russians before I would root for Virginia.

You forgot "ascot wearing"

I knew I left something out. Leg for you.

I would root for the Russians before I would root for Virginia.

UVa pregame pep talk:

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

My. Heywood Banks has too much pride as a professional comedian to perform for a crowd of amateur clowns like UVA.

They couldnt make this any easier on us. They are r[t]oasting themselves.

via GIPHY

.... only UVA football would come with something like that

Butter and cinnamon. End of.

Always choose joy.

Because really what we remembered is that people don't come to play us in our indoor facility.

...although the noise level and fan attendance at Scott may give off that impression.

"What kind of person would throw away a perfectly good dog?"

If you don't, you should, know a guy whose family makes bomb diggity apple butter, and get some. Then spread that on some warm toast. That my friends, is sex.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

I have been doing things wrong for a long time.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

I thought Apple Pie was sex.

Those Bronco quotes are actually some of the dumbest sounding things I've ever heard come out of a college football coach's mouth. I'm absolutely dying

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oh for fucks sake...won't they just stop lobbing pitches to us?

Several thoughts.

It's just like TKP to turn the low hanging UVA fruit, which could easily give us hours of entertainment, and turn it into another food debate or two (toast toppings? Crunchy vs creamy peanut butter?) Well done guys!

Seriously, they aren't comfortable playing football in their own stadium? That was a thing they needed to address?

Toast? Fucking toast? As if ascot wearing and Zima drinking weren't enough. We're over eating gargantuan turkey legs and chugging bourbon. They're eating toast.

I hate those bastards...and making fun of them never gets old.

This reminds me of the JMU GameDay thread where we didn't discuss JMU GameDay.

___

-What we do is, if we need that extra push, you know what we do? -Put it up to fully dipped? -Fully dipped. Exactly. It's dork magic.

Yeah. So.

Y'all can down vote me, but I'm about to speak the dam truth: anything that can be toasted is actually better microwaved. Toasters are stupid.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

You are stupid.

Bread + microwave = soggy, chewy mess

Edit: I apologize for the insult. That was a reflex. But your wrong opinion is wrong.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Bread + microwave = soggy, chewy mess

Heck yeah it does, and it's a million times better than putting cinnamon on a giant crouton. If I ever buy a toaster, I hope I'm surrounded by people who love me enough to throw it in the tub while I'm taking a bath. Crunchy bread is stupid.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

I think you may the first person in the world that has ever been offended by the toaster.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

It is a wicked and detestable appliance. You are dead right about apple butter though.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

Hahaha I mean I am not criticizing your hate for it, I just found it interesting.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

There is no brave little microwave, and that is a scientific fact.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Slow your roll, APoW. Microwaves by nature are brave; there's no outlier worthy of recognition like that one toaster.

Our first Radarange was a damn warrior. It had to deal with every compound feasible in my first chemistry kit, and most of the chemicals beneath the sink to boot.

You try sticking metal and science experiments in a toaster and the damn thing shorts out after the first day.

Except for that one fictional toaster. I am not buying that logic.

It's not the microwave that's brave.

It's the people who put things in it. And then eat those things.

The microwave's biggest job is ruining otherwise edible food. The second job is destroying other random objects that people are brave enough to subject to microwaves.

They do manage to heat coffee and defrost things, though.

Also, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Definitely my new favorite comment on the entire site.

“Also, a microwave has never danced it's ass off to Jackie Wilson.” - AssPocketFullOWhiskey

I think Starbuck and Adama might be the first - but then again there in the future, so I'll give it you.

You sir, have a desperate need for a crunchy bread-bowl full of chunky delicious chili.

“I remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” -cFB
TKPC #666 ...man that was long wait...

We already solved this. It's called a toaster oven.

Edit: we also solved the problem for whoever downvoted. It's called just scroll right on past. ;)

My 2020 Season/Covid19 Challenge: only comment with Marvel memes.

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes. (completed as of Nov. 29)

For the record, I down voted your posts about crunchy toast being bad, and I up voted the one about apple butter being good.

I know that down voting opinions is wrong, but I'm prepared to take the heat for disagreeing that soggy bread is ok.

Fuck that shit...yes, I'm wasted.

Soft bread != soggy bread. To be fair, I do not typically microwave sandwich bread. But take a good hardy dense bread; for instance, bagels. If you really mean to tell me, man-to-man, that toasted bagels are better than microwaved bagels... well, let's just say it's good thing this is the internet, pal.

I can take the down votes as well as I can dish 'em, so if you want to start a friday night flame war about the depravity of toasted bread, then by all means, go home and put on your daddy's shoes because you're playing a man's game now. This subject cuts pretty close to religion and politics for me, and I'll get banned for it, I don't give a f***.

Not the bagman VT deserves, but the bagman VT needs right now.

Yall dont downvote a man for liking something. I dont agree with it but to each their own.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

I may have called him stupid, but I didn't downvote him.

I'm not a monster.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Sorry man. I was really drunk. I went back and gave you legs on the stupid posts you made about microwaves and bread. I even legged this post out of #Hokiesrespect.

But you are wrong man. Dead wrong. Ain't nothing good about a crunchless bagel. I have to say that I put that up there with Zima and rice cakes as acceptable culinary selections. I don't know what happened to you as a child but if I were you, I'd be seriously questioning my upbringing if a microwaved bagel borders on the spiritual experience.

In a pinch, I'll reheat my grandmother's homemade rolls just enough to melt some butter, but nothing compares to the taste of her bread sliced, toasted, and smothered with butter and her homemade peach preserves. I'll go to my grave knowing few tastes better than that.

The temptation is very strong to downvote just to see how far down this rabbit hole our coupon crusader will go.

I am not sure what to do with my hands now

My 2020 Season/Covid19 Challenge: only comment with Marvel memes.

My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes. (completed as of Nov. 29)

That butter is not enjoying that.

ESPN. The coverage is excellent, you'd be surprised at how much you can pick up.

Something, something....... Hollywood.......

Something, something......Board monitor "dont go there....."

Yeah, baked products going public in 3, 2, 1 ...

No one mentioned avocado toast?

#Let's Go - Hokies

If I could afford avocados....

You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup

No one here goes to UVA.

“I remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” -cFB
TKPC #666 ...man that was long wait...

It just hit me! It's loluva:

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

UVA was already sh*t, now they have the shingle to put it on.

So long as it is precariously positioned next to their bathtub, I'm ok with it.

UVA is not worthy of Powdered Toast Man.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

This TKP thread is going down in history as a great one
👌💪☝️🔥

You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup

TKP debate No. 4

Best posts/comment threads of all time

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

OMG yes

Joe, do we have any data on this, like the thread with the highest-number-of-legs-per-post?

Can we have Comment Big Board like the Turkey Leg Big Board? My guess would be that it would have a lot of Kyle Fuller and Emma Watson gifs.

"Sooner or later, if man is ever to be worthy of his destiny, we must fill our heart with tolerance."
-Stan Lee

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Posts are like a conversation.

A big part of the value of posts are the context and timing.

Very true. Otherwise the top comments would all be from FAM threads

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

UVA Sports Complex Burns Due to Defective Toaster

Even when you get skunked; fishing never lets you down. 🎣

I think he does it at away games.

So it would be someone else's sports complex.

I like how LOLUVA has embraced Disney's The Brave Little Toaster.