OT: Good(?) Jokes

So, this is my first ever post after lurking for 5+ years, and being a full-fledged member for the last 2. And this is really only prompted by a recent trip we took to Blacksburg a week or so ago to enjoy a quiet spring break weekend back on campus with my wife and 10-year old daughter. After spending most of Saturday walking around the campus, we headed out to Mountain Lake to show the ladies where Dirty Dancing was filmed. Needless to say, I was dog-tired after hiking up to Bald Knob for the first time since the late '80's when I was a student. Because I'm old and out-of-shape...clearly.

Cutting to the chase. We get back to the car and start the trek back down the mountain. For folks that haven't taken that trip, it isn't for the faint of heart. Especially when tired, as we all were. That was mistake #1. So, to while away the time, I gave my precocious pre-teen my phone so that she could google "age appropriate" jokes to tell us on the drive. That was mistake #2. The following 2 jokes, in rapid succession, nearly caused me to wreck the car due to my inability to breathe and the tears of laughter. Yes, I was punch-drunk tired, but these struck me in the best/worst possible way. It did not help that my daughter was giggling before she even read them aloud to us.

Exhibit #1:
Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

Exhibit #2:
What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Yes, I know these are childish and simple, but they also almost caused us to take an epic flight off the mountain.

So, my "challenge" to the forum: Share your favorite "audience appropriate" jokes. Mine are terrible, but at the time, they were literally the funniest things I have heard in a long while.

Or just have Joe delete this post.