2019 Six Pick Week 1: The Gang Goes Eagle Hunting

Welcome to Week 1 where the NCAA makes up the rules so the points matter more than ever! Nothing of not has occurred within 100 miles of Blacksburg so let's dive into the picks!

August 31

Oregon
@ Auburn (-3)

Nerd Fact #1: Auburn fans drink way too much whiskey after they win games. To prepare themselves for the morning whiskey shits, they leave toilet paper on the trees around town.
Nerd Fact #2: Campus leaders at Oregon are actually color blind and keep signing off on the wrong color uniforms. No one has the heart to tell them they haven't worn home colors since 1983.
Pick: This whole week is kind of a toss up. Like every spread is stupid close. Give me Auburn as I think Oregon is wayyyyy overhyped because the media just doesn't want to talk about Washington all year again.

JMU
@ WVU (-6)

Nerd Fact #1: There is no right pick in this matchup.
Nerd Fact #2: WVU has lost last year's head coach, QB, and top 4 receivers (in terms of yards). They will need the strongest of run games to pick up a week one offense that will likely see some growing pains.
Pick: Am I the wildest of boys and will you need to call me Steve-O? This seems like a once in a lifetime shot at picking an FCS team to take out the Neers and not be too far off from reality. Ultimately, I think the Cousins win out. WVU.

Northwestern
@ Stanford (-6.5)

Nerd Fact #1: Stanford features one of the trio of brothers that challenge for strangest names in the NCAA. The Cardinals feature Osiris St. Brown, brother to Amon-Ra and Equanim- Hold on, messed that up, Equanimeous and son to Yourhighness St. Brown. Just kidding, his dad is named John.
Nerd Fact #2: Northwestern's offense was 12th in the Big 10 last year. Remember that they did finish 9-5 (8-1) and went to the Big 10 Championship. Northwestern loses no major pieces, QB Thorson was drafted in the 5th round by the Eagles but he threw 15 TDs and 17 INTs last year (nice pick up Eagles), and Sophomore Isaiah Bowser looks to take an increased role in the offense.
Pick: Another super close one. Stanford has a beast of a schedule and is expected to win 6.5 games this may be a must win for bowl eligibility. I don't like picking against Shaw either, as he has 9+ wins for the last 5 season. BUT GIVE ME THE NORTHWESTERN NERDS ON THIS! LEAVE NO NERD BEHIND!

Duke
@ Bama (-33.5)

Nerd Fact #1: Nick Saban is a pretty good coach.
Nerd Fact #2: This is the third largest spread of the week behind Clemson(-37) v GT and Florida A&M v UCF (-45).
Pick: The question here is not who will win, but will the spread be covered. Bama averaged 45 points/game last year while allowing 18 ppg. I cannot believe I am saying this, but give me Duke to cover.

UVA (-3)
@ Pitt

Nerd Fact #1: Googling "Best thing about Pittsburgh" returned the Duquesne Incline, a large cable car like tourist trap to let you see the city. This means the best thing to do in Pittsburgh is to be dragged up a mountain to get as far away from the city as possible.
Fun Fact #2: Bronco named his kids Raeder, Cutter, and Breaker. All they need is some radio active ooze and a shadowy ninja clan and we have a reboot on our hands.
Pick: Give me Pitt by 2 scores.

Hokies (-4.5)
@ Boston College

Nerd Fact #1: BC sells Superfan Shirts as that is about as much effort most Boston banwagon fans put in to earn their fandom. This year's slogan is "Fire in our hearts. Greatness in our sights." Optometrists in Chestnut Hill have experienced a skyrocket in appointments however.
Nerd Fact #2: The following is one of the best images of all time and will be replacing the Mona Lisa in the Louvre.

Pick: Hokies by 100.

Beer of the Week:

PBR with a slice of lime. I know PBR gets dragged a bunch but it is absolutely palatable with a little bit of lime to it. Give it a shot if you want your significant other to think you've lost your mind.

***

Overview:

Nike vs Newtons (-3)
Purple Dukes vs Cousins (-6)
Purple Nerds vs Red Nerds (-6.5)
Blue Dukes vs Rawl Tahd (-33.5)
Boohoos (-3) vs Fecal Matter Eaters
Bud's Boys (-4.5) vs Addazio's Guy Dudes

***

Last week: Spreadsheet

43 TKPers took part.
Colgate was favored 30:13.
Youngstown St was favored a ridiculous 40:3.
Florida was the runaway favorite at 33:10 and lost the most points for the most users just eeking out Colgate.
Hawai'i was the only dog (+11) that was the TKP favorite at 25:18.

No perfect scores this week. 12 TKPers had 3 correct selections (including me because I'm cheating). There were 3 unique selection combinations (macraw83, Kville Hokies, and OHokie)

Hate to put you on blast OHokie, but your solo shot was the only skunk of the week. Which means you currently hold the Rich Rod People's Champ Cup.

Note: I wanted to include a few games like ND & LU, CLEM & GT, and the Holy War, but felt it best to stick to just Saturday games. Catch you next week!

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Amateur superstar and idiot extraordinaire.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

2023 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Hokies, Local Soccer, AFC Ajax, Ravens

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, the Hound, Jeff Jagodzinski, Paul Johnson, Pat Narduzzi.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

eric

"My advice to you... is to start drinking heavily."-John Blutarsky

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

I have no idea why my username is VT_Warthog.

Arkansas blew a 24-0 lead in the Belk Bowl.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

There's always a lighthouse. There's always a man. There's always a city.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Marshall University graduate.
Virginia Tech fanatic.
Formerly known as JWillHokieAlum.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"If at first you do not succeed, then skydiving is not for you." - Anonymous

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

"For those who have passed, for those to come, reach for excellence."

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.