Welcome to Week 1 where the NCAA makes up the rules so the points matter more than ever! Nothing of not has occurred within 100 miles of Blacksburg so let's dive into the picks!
August 31
Oregon
@ Auburn (-3)
Nerd Fact #1: Auburn fans drink way too much whiskey after they win games. To prepare themselves for the morning whiskey shits, they leave toilet paper on the trees around town.
Nerd Fact #2: Campus leaders at Oregon are actually color blind and keep signing off on the wrong color uniforms. No one has the heart to tell them they haven't worn home colors since 1983.
Pick: This whole week is kind of a toss up. Like every spread is stupid close. Give me Auburn as I think Oregon is wayyyyy overhyped because the media just doesn't want to talk about Washington all year again.
JMU
@ WVU (-6)
Nerd Fact #1: There is no right pick in this matchup.
Nerd Fact #2: WVU has lost last year's head coach, QB, and top 4 receivers (in terms of yards). They will need the strongest of run games to pick up a week one offense that will likely see some growing pains.
Pick: Am I the wildest of boys and will you need to call me Steve-O? This seems like a once in a lifetime shot at picking an FCS team to take out the Neers and not be too far off from reality. Ultimately, I think the Cousins win out. WVU.
Northwestern
@ Stanford (-6.5)
Nerd Fact #1: Stanford features one of the trio of brothers that challenge for strangest names in the NCAA. The Cardinals feature Osiris St. Brown, brother to Amon-Ra and Equanim- Hold on, messed that up, Equanimeous and son to Yourhighness St. Brown. Just kidding, his dad is named John.
Nerd Fact #2: Northwestern's offense was 12th in the Big 10 last year. Remember that they did finish 9-5 (8-1) and went to the Big 10 Championship. Northwestern loses no major pieces, QB Thorson was drafted in the 5th round by the Eagles but he threw 15 TDs and 17 INTs last year (nice pick up Eagles), and Sophomore Isaiah Bowser looks to take an increased role in the offense.
Pick: Another super close one. Stanford has a beast of a schedule and is expected to win 6.5 games this may be a must win for bowl eligibility. I don't like picking against Shaw either, as he has 9+ wins for the last 5 season. BUT GIVE ME THE NORTHWESTERN NERDS ON THIS! LEAVE NO NERD BEHIND!
Duke
@ Bama (-33.5)
Nerd Fact #1: Nick Saban is a pretty good coach.
Nerd Fact #2: This is the third largest spread of the week behind Clemson(-37) v GT and Florida A&M v UCF (-45).
Pick: The question here is not who will win, but will the spread be covered. Bama averaged 45 points/game last year while allowing 18 ppg. I cannot believe I am saying this, but give me Duke to cover.
UVA (-3)
@ Pitt
Nerd Fact #1: Googling "Best thing about Pittsburgh" returned the Duquesne Incline, a large cable car like tourist trap to let you see the city. This means the best thing to do in Pittsburgh is to be dragged up a mountain to get as far away from the city as possible.
Fun Fact #2: Bronco named his kids Raeder, Cutter, and Breaker. All they need is some radio active ooze and a shadowy ninja clan and we have a reboot on our hands.
Pick: Give me Pitt by 2 scores.
Hokies (-4.5)
@ Boston College
Nerd Fact #1: BC sells Superfan Shirts as that is about as much effort most Boston banwagon fans put in to earn their fandom. This year's slogan is "Fire in our hearts. Greatness in our sights." Optometrists in Chestnut Hill have experienced a skyrocket in appointments however.
Nerd Fact #2: The following is one of the best images of all time and will be replacing the Mona Lisa in the Louvre.
Pick: Hokies by 100.
Beer of the Week:
PBR with a slice of lime. I know PBR gets dragged a bunch but it is absolutely palatable with a little bit of lime to it. Give it a shot if you want your significant other to think you've lost your mind.
***
Overview:
Nike vs Newtons (-3)
Purple Dukes vs Cousins (-6)
Purple Nerds vs Red Nerds (-6.5)
Blue Dukes vs Rawl Tahd (-33.5)
Boohoos (-3) vs Fecal Matter Eaters
Bud's Boys (-4.5) vs Addazio's Guy Dudes
***
Last week: Spreadsheet
43 TKPers took part.
Colgate was favored 30:13.
Youngstown St was favored a ridiculous 40:3.
Florida was the runaway favorite at 33:10 and lost the most points for the most users just eeking out Colgate.
Hawai'i was the only dog (+11) that was the TKP favorite at 25:18.
No perfect scores this week. 12 TKPers had 3 correct selections (including me because I'm cheating). There were 3 unique selection combinations (macraw83, Kville Hokies, and OHokie)
Hate to put you on blast OHokie, but your solo shot was the only skunk of the week. Which means you currently hold the Rich Rod People's Champ Cup.
Note: I wanted to include a few games like ND & LU, CLEM & GT, and the Holy War, but felt it best to stick to just Saturday games. Catch you next week!
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