Hatin' on: Geoff Collins

Geoff Collins doesn't know how to spell the name Jeff.

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Well you covered the only thing that needs said about Jeff so we can go ahead and wrap this thread up

I haven't stopped reading his name as Ghee-off this entire thread and it makes it better

(add if applicable) /s

"If Fu goes to 2 acc champ games in 4 years, I will never criticize him again." - dcwilson

After the beatdown this weekend, Geoff Collins will resign as head coach and Go Sell Coffin instead

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

People often confuse Geoff Collins as the unknown brother of Chris and the son of Doug of basketball fame, and he doesn't mind it one bit, infact, he considers it a compliment.

I thought he was a Basketball Coach

Hokies, Local Soccer, AFC Ajax, Ravens

Geoff Collins is a Jeff Gordon fan even though he thoroughly believes he spells his name wrong.

He used to be a Geoff Bodine fan, because he likes the spelling of his name and people who are assholes to everyone around them.

NASCAR fans hate Jeff Gordon because he annunciates

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

annunciates

Not sure if intentional or not. But, magically correct, either way.

'Twas intentional.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

Jeff Gordon is a NASCAR driver? I thought he was a cereal box model. β€” Bobby Hill

"Tajh Boyd over the middle . . . and it's caught for an interception! Michael Cole, lying flat on his back, ARE YOU KIDDING???"

Geoff Collins pronounces all "G's" like "J's" and as such thinks those funny animations are called "jiffs"

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I don't understand this jiff
-Geoff Collins

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Geoff Collins spells Jif peanut butter "Geoif"

"Geff Collins" is more amusing to me than it should be

Geoff Collins comes to work, blows up every toilet in the building, and then puts a sign on every door saying Offline, Clogs

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

take your damn leg

Jeff Collins always says "I should call my parents more" but never actually does

Geoff Collins insists you call him "Mr. Collins"

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Geoff Collins will have you know he has dined at Rosings Park no less than 6 times!

Click here to destroy wall.

Never in my life did I expect to see a Pride and Prejudice gif on TKP. Well done sir, well done.

Now if you could just work in one with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth into the discussion, that would be magnificent, just like her.

VTCC '86 Delta Company, Hokie in Peru, Former Naval Aviator, Former FBISA, Forever married to my VT87 girl. Go VT!

To each his own, I guess

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When Geoff was coaching at Temple he only ate cheesesteaks from Subway.

JP

This comment has WAY too few upvotes

Geoff thinks a fancy date night is unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden (pronounced jarden) and a box of Franzia afterwards.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

In the early 90s Geoff Collins ran a college radio talk show named "Geoff Collins' Call-ins".

No one ever called in.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Geno's was Geoff's favorite cheesesteak when he lived in Philly.

He thought John's Roast Pork only made pork sandwiches...so he never went.

JP

Geoff spells Jeff as Geoff.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Geoff Collins spells "Drink" as "Georink"

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Geoff Collins pulls up to the front of the grocery store and parks in the fire lane. And leaves his dog in the car. He promises himself that he's just has to grab some coffee, but ends up getting a cart and browsing thru the entire store, taking samples and searching for bogo deals. Geoff with a G ends up spending $110 while blocking the entrance and having his dog in the car.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

So he shops at Walmart? ( true story) As a deputy working midnights in Hanover I would get so irritated with the sheer number of people who parked in the fire lane at Wal Mart, so one night about 11 pm I parked at one end walked down and gave everyone a verbal warning to move their car, went inside had them make an announcement went back out to my car got my ticket book and wrote 27 fire lane violations. I got chewed out by my entire chain of command for that one.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

I'm guessing there's not a lot of margin for fire lane violations once you factor in processing costs and a few douche bags who decide to show up to their court date?

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Image of the Sheriff

Excessive use of time at one location

These were the two written "counseling" I got.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

But a good use of time at the same time. Lots of ticket revenue.

As a person that follows the parking laws and guidelines, I appreciate it.

Geoff Collins temporarily missed out on the Temple job. He was passed over for the d-bag responsible for the turnover chain. Yeah, that guy.

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Geoff Collins once asked a solid 4 out to prom. She told him no and decided to go with some dude from Florida instead. Florida dude dumped her a day after asking and she came running back to Geoff. Geoff dated her for two years before dumping her ass for a nerdy girl down in Atlanta. The relationship is doomed to failure, but at least he doesn't have to deal with Eagles fans.

EDIT: Totally forgot that Geoff got to kick Florida dude's ass this year. Not a hatin' on, but a key component of the saga.

Geoff Collins makes the same joke twice in a hatin' on thread.

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The "Ge" is short for "Jerk"

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Makes even more sense when you find out his first name is Willy.

More like "Meoff" Collins πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

There are wolves and there are sheep, I am the sheep dog

Geoff is ok with being called Chin Balls...he thinks it's sexy!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

Geoff Collins, after watching on TV Bud Foster being carried off the field holding the lunch pail, thought that VT has a problem with people stealing other people's lunches if he has to carry it so close to him

Geoff Collins believes that announcers should celebrate more in the booth, not just for Hail Marys.

I'm not done with Paul Johnson, and I known better than to tease somebody named "Geoff". They've been through enough already. So...

On Saturdays, Paul Johnson sits on his couch with a headset and pretends he's still the coach for Georgia Tech. He drinks gin out of his bathtub, while the little lady does the wash down at the creek.

Leonard. Duh.

Shut up Leonard, I heard about your prescription socks.

But for real, praise be the Paul Johnson is gone.

GiT's Coach Drinks pepsi in front of the birthplace of Coca Cola

VT '10, Born & Raised in the 804.
Rockin the Bakken.
β€œRight turn, Clyde.”

Geoff Collins took a selfie while dropping a deuce on the GT athletic center.

I'm just here to sling some legs

ok, now that's just mean. The real story here is it was his first day of work and Paul Johnson had just tried to take him out at the knees on his way out the door.

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Geoff Collins brings up his school's academics in halftime speeches and postgame interviews.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

At Georgia Tech, you can do that!

"I'll put a quote here to distract you from my inane comment."-Me

Geoff Collins is not Paul Johnson.

Thank god.

Geoff Collins will start some fucking annoying 5'08 QB that can't pass 5 fucking yards on Saturday against VT because 1. They are still left on the roster from fuck faces chicken shit triple option offense, and 2. those little pricks beat VT with dives for 8 yards a pop.

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I hate that you have no sense of humor or concept of hate threads. IIWII

You go DC

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

Geoff Collins doesn't even realize this his QB is actually 6'1", was a composite 4* recruit with 14 P5 offers, and was formerly a Hokie commit until GT offered him at QB instead of at ATH

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I was being totally serious with my post. Totally. No hyperbole at all. And WGAF if he was a VT "commit" ? That word means nothing these days.

Don't you know verbal commits are peer reviewed articles on climate change?????????????????????????????????????????

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Wait...
You just blasted a guy above for not having a sense of humor about your post, and then retort below it about how it was totally serious.
You'd make a great 21st century U.S. president.

Update: Missed the sarcasm.

Leonard. Duh.

You really think I wasn't being sarcastic to gobbler? really?

Well, you didn't end it with an "/s" so who would know?

/s

I see it now. Honestly, my bad. Although, you are a hard book to read, dude.

Leonard. Duh.

To be fair, he has posted almost the exact same thing elsewhere. Then when everyone thinks it's a joke, he doubles down and makes it into a big thing. So what does he expect?

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LOL. for future reference:

- Yes, I'm on very serious record that the occasional broken play desperation wheel routes popped by Paul Johnson from time to time are not 1. efficient or 2. effective passes in today's college football. Yes I have said that in a non-joking way.
- Yes, I hate the fact that GT has beaten VT multiple times by attempting less than 5 passes. I am very serious about my criticism there.
- No, in a hatin on thread was my analysis serious of the GT QB room- not in any way serious.

Maybe in the future add some flair to your Hatin' on post to spice it up. Like...

Geoff Collins will start some fucking annoying 5'08 QB that can't pass 5 fucking yards on Saturday against VT because 1. They are still left on the roster from fuck faces chicken shit triple option offense, and 2. those little pricks beat VT with dives for 8 yards a pop.... He calls it "Geoffense."

Leonard. Duh.

I'd argue that passes that go for touchdowns are pretty effective.

*Ducks*

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

The 5 of them that do over a 12 game season? sure, effective for a middle school wing T team, yes.

If it put 6 on the scoreboard it was effective.

I defy you to tell me The Annexation of Puerto Rico wasn't effective because the Little Giants only ran it once.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

OH BOY.

We're in week 12....playing GT and for once I thought we might escape the dcwilson effective/efficient GT passing offense but alas here we are poking the bear.

Update: JFC why did you guys continue this.

(add if applicable) /s

"If Fu goes to 2 acc champ games in 4 years, I will never criticize him again." - dcwilson

I will freely admit to trolling the person who gets so worked up about this that they made it their comment badge if they're going to be the one to bring it up.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

to be fair, the bear poked himself on this one

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

He needs to mark that stuff NSFW then.

Click here to destroy wall.

Disagree. Broken plays and trick plays are luck and not scalable in college football post 1979. Trick plays are not "effective" in terms of consistency, winning or good offense post 1979 in college football. Going 24-25 over your last 4 years relying on luck, broken plays in the pass game makes you one dimensional and not effective to the point of a losing record. Hole in ones are awesome in golf, they are not effective at all in lowering your handicap since they happen once every 10 years. They do happen though- and 1's are legit scores on the scorecard. Not effective at all for your overall scores for a season, year or decade though.

so something can't be effective if it isn't consistent?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Exactly. Relying on 60 yard punt return touchdowns as a consistent part of your scoring is not effective at all. You lose a lot of games that way. Sure, 60 yard punt returns happen- they are busted every once in a while- hell even for touchdowns maybe once a year. That's not effective in modern football at all because it works less than 3% of the time. Would you call an inside zone run that nets 2 yards or less 90% of the time "effective"? most people would not. Post 1979 in college football, the ocassional broken run wheel route pass that is actually caught is not an effective passing game. It's why GT ran the ball 95% of the time- because they couldn't fucking pass it effectively.

just as an aside, didn't we establish a national brand (after 1979) via defensive and special teams scoring?

if i whiff on fifteen punches but knock you out with the sixteenth, was that punch not effective?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

real life results have no impact on this discussion. This is purely about statistics, just like all of college football. Which is why at the end of the season we award the natty to whichever team sits atop the most statistical categories. The games are just played to give advertisers something to buy. /s

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Paul Johnson was 24-25 his last 4 years at GT. Yep, the real world shows he was damn effective alright. Screw statistics- we also don't award the natty to under .500 teams.

They were 7-6 last year, but had the 27th best scoring offense. Youre moving the goalpost from their offense to the overall team

You almost sound suprised. Did you forget to check the username?

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Please.. FFS ... Put me on record... GT sucks at passing... refute that.. go ahead. I'm not moving any goal posts. You are with the stupid anecdotes that they have completed a forward pass in a game before.

Scoring offense... awesome... Not the same as "effective passing game"... where did they rank there? I'm not moving any goal posts.

We established a national brand after 1979 with great consistent defense and special teams (and Michael Vick) - innovative by placing smaller, faster starters on the special teams that played well every week. We didn't establish a brand by hoping for lucky plays or tricking our opponents with on-side kicks that worked 3% of the time. Our defense and special teams weren't gimmicks or one-sided. We could defend the pass and the run- thus effective. We could out run teams on special teams because it took them 5 years to figure out that 11 corners and WRs can tackle your returner just fine- you don't need backup OL on the special teams like pre 1979. Beamer was the picture of consistency on defense and special teams - thus it worked ALL of the time.

Im fairly certain they ran the ball 95% of the time because thats what they wanted to do, not because they had no other choice

That's why they replaced Johnson with another Triple option coach- it's effective and what they wanted to do.Yes.

Let me clarify because you cant seem to deduce who "they" is referring to in my previous comment. The previous GT coaching staff was completely happy to run 95% of the time, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. What style of offense they run this year has no bearing on that

Yes, and the previous coaching staff was not effective at passing the ball. I wasn't arguing why. I was stating a blatant fact that people like to argue with anecdotes. IIWII.

That's why they replaced Johnson with another Triple option coach

who, exactly?

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

DCwilson anagrams to "Clown Dis"

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(add if applicable) /s

"If Fu goes to 2 acc champ games in 4 years, I will never criticize him again." - dcwilson

Geoff Collins pronounces Gif like Gif

Keep calm, Gobble on

Geoff Collins sends out multiple tweets throughout the day but does not respond to your text messages.

If I didn't know you were married, I'd think this was about a girl.

Geoff Collins is just a counterfeit Bronco Mendenhall...

Who we all know is just a counterfeit old, creepy Biff...

Using /s is for cowards.

Good grief, Bronco's even sniffing farts there.

It's little known that Geoff Collins strongly considered applying for the Virginia Tech head-coaching vacancy. He balked, however when informed that the Georgia Tech job might be coming available.

Virginia Tech both plays and recruits football well, and in the era of the forward pass. His final decision, though, was based on the latter school's fit with his identity:

"Idiots-whose-name-begins-with-a-GEO-where-a-better-choice-was-clearly-available".

Geoff Collins says getting water squirted on your pants leg sounds like fun.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

Geoff eats at Waffle House every day.

Twitter me

This is Hatin' On.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Geoff thinks it's great

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Geoff is Phil's younger half brother and has to buy all of Phil's crappy albums.

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

🎢 πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ πŸ₯ Geoff can't feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord 🎢

Let's Go

HOKIES

Geoff Collins is that lazy electrical designer who tells you that it's not his job to put sensors on order for a machine in the field (Narrator: "It was, in fact, his job"). So, for the sake of keeping things moving, you do the bastard's job for him. Then, after seeing what you released, he goes in and changes it in the system to what he thinks it should be. Turns out the initial sensor he spec'd out was wrong and it had been changed on the floor in testing. The electricians marked up the print correctly and returned it to said designer for updating, but he never got around to it. Now you have a service team in the field with the wrong parts and it's somehow your fault. Fuck you, Geoff.

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what a geork

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Did this guy have a relative in the pest & lawn industry?

Click here to destroy wall.

Geoff has his team sit "crisscross applesauce" in the lockeroom while he delivers his pregame speeches

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

Hahahahaha.

Leonard. Duh.

Geoff waits until all his items have been rung up at the grocery store then begins writing his check, after borrowing a pen from the cashier. He then politely nods to the person waiting behind him

Geoff Collins sits in his bed at night wondering why he doesn't have a drink named after him.

1-0 every week

Geoff Collins is confused as to why the equipment manager had "JC" embroidered on his gear.

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Geoff Collins has "Warm Regards" as part of his email signature

Bless his heart.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@BuryHokie #ThanksFrank

William Geoff Collins anagrams to "A office swilling moll."

Geoff Collins orders a Tom Collins in a bar and tells the bartender that it is named after his dad.

2 time Longwood grad married to a Hokie.

Geoff Collins likes to mow the grass on his riding lawn tractor with no shirt on and blows clippings into the road. He also gets half the tractor onto the pavement and when his neighbors drive by he flips them the bird, like it is their fault for almost hitting him even though they pulled into the other lane to keep a safe distance. It makes you so mad you want to stop and hop out and kick his redneck Georgia ass right there on the spot but you're late for church already. Total A-hole.

If there is no enemy within the enemy outside can do us no harm.

Geoff Collins wishes his name was Jeff Collins.

"Dick to Hyman? DICK TO HYMAN!" - Guy in Lane Stadium crowd when Richard Johnson hit Josh Hyman on reverse pass in 2004.

Geoff Collins is a poor mans Buzz Williams

Geoff Collins wears toe socks.

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My 2019 Season Challenge: only comment with Star Wars memes. (completed as of Nov. 29)

Only I get this!

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

Geoff Collins uses alias phone numbers and robocalls recruits four times in the same afternoon.

Geoff Collins has William Hungs rendition of "She Bangs" on constant repeat in the football practice facility

uva - the taint of the ACC
XL Jockstraps 34 - Ascots 31
#15 Straight

This is Geo-ust a Geo-unk question. I don't know anyone who can rightly Geo-ustify being so Geo-udgemental about a Geo-ourneyman who would Geo-eopardize his career by taking the head coaching Geo-ob at Geo-rgia...

shit maybe its ok

It has been a long time since we've beaten GiT

I'm done with the musings and hullabaloo. I hope we run them deep into downtown Atlanta.

I know one thing. Geo-f-f is not ready for what's coming on Saturday.

TKPhi Damn Proud
BSME 2009

Geoff Collins thinks Scott Bakula is a better Captain than Sir Patrick Stewart.

And preferred Kes to Seven of Nine.

Click here to destroy wall.

Geoff Collins thinks Danny Coale didn't catch that ball.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

Geoff Collins can't spare a square

Geoff Collins Recipe (not to be confused with the delicious Tom Collins):

1oz Aristocrat Gin
1oz Bacardi 151
1oz Fernet
Dash of Hot Sauce
Durian Garnish

Geoff Collins wears Capris.....

only when it's warm out. For our game, I'm sure he'll be on the sideline in yoga pants, uggs, and a puffy vest all while sporting a pumpkin spice latte.

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And will have his favorite Taylor Swift album playing as warm up music.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

STICK IT IN HAS RETURNED!!!

What in the hell are those?! For God's sake, man, you're a football coach, not a hipster barber cutting bald fades and fascies all day.

The chick is wearing a more manly pair of pants than geoff.

"Hey Bud, you wont have to hold the opponent to 17 points anymore."

Geoff Collins thinks Epstein killed himself.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Geoff Collins calls this guy to pump up his players.

via GIPHY

Go Hokies!

Geoff Collins flips the board when he's losing in CandyLand.

Click here to destroy wall.

Geoff Collins thinks that the final season of GoT was the best season and was pissed when Benioff and Weiss were fired from Star Wars

exit light

If Fu goes to 2 acc champ games in 4 years, Geoff Collins will never criticize him again.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..