GAMBLING LINES 2019: WEEK 11

Gambling will never make you happy. You'll lose one bet of an 8-leg parlay and be pissed you didn't stop at 7. You'll win the ML for a team expected to lose by double digits and be disappointed you only put down a couple bucks. Or, in my case, you will win every single bet you made this past weekend, but be angry you didn't have the balls to parlay them.

My bet slip:
Michigan (-18.5)
Marshall (-10.5)
VT (+17)
Miami ML
Pitt (-7.5)

Payout as bet: 197% (almost doubling my money)
Payout as a 5 leg parlay: 3222% (financing the purchase of a truck)

Don't bet, kids.

Anyway, on to this week's lines.

  • BC (-1): BC has been awful this year. They boast 5 wins, but let's look at who they've beaten: Two Atlantic bottom feeders(Syracuse & NC State), a B1G bottom feeder (Rutgers), an FCS team (Richmond), and Ryan Willis's interception bonanza. And yet they are favored, albeit ever so slightly, over FSU. What a shit show Willie made for himself. Good thing they canned him cause he was about to drop a game to a shitty BC team. I still say BC takes this one.
  • LOLUVa (-17): As much as I'd love to see LOLUVa be uncomfortable or even lose against GT, I just don't see it happening. GT is garbage. Miami's three stooges impression notwithstanding, GT is going to lose their P5 games and lose them hard. LOLUVa (-17) sounds good to me and if it's not, well, then at least I can enjoy the sound of the collective brick shitting echoing off the blue ridge mountains all the way from down here in Lynchburg.
  • Bama (-5.5): National Championship game right here and Bama is still favored by five and a half. As discussed elsewhere, lines aren't always how Vegas expects the game to go. They are set where Vegas thinks they can get half the bets to fall on either side of the line. Inject a crazed Bama fanbase into the mix and you're going to get a skewed line on this. Gimme LSU (+5.5) and maybe even the ML if I'm feeling lucky.
  • Kentucky (-2.5): My inlaws are Tennessee fans. They think they're on the upswing since switching quarterbacks (I know the feeling). I would love nothing more than to see them drop yet another game to one of the bball schools stranded in the SEC. If this was last year, I'd be tempted to take Kentucky here (even though they inexplicably lost to UT last year), but this year's Kentucky team is not up to the task. Taking UT (+2.5) on this one.

As always, please do not take my ramblings as legitimate gambling advice. You will lose your shirt and anything else you're foolish enough to bet based on my idiocy.
Lines may change over the course of the week. I also may have made errors copying them. Always triple check when money is at stake
TKP does not encourage gambling and even if it did, I am neither employed nor sanctioned by Orange and Maroon Media, LLC so who cares.

Away Home Spread ___ Away Home Spread
Kent State Toledo Toledo (-7.5) Wake Forest Virginia Tech Wake Forest (-3)
Ball State Western Michigan Western Michigan (-7.5) Louisville Miami Miami (-5)
Miami (OH) Ohio Ohio (-7) Georgia Southern Troy Georgia Southern (-1.5)
Louisiana Coastal Carolina Louisiana (-12.5) USCw Arizona State USCw (-1.5)
Temple South Florida Temple (-1.5) Kansas State Texas Texas (-5.5)
UCF Tulsa UCF (-16.5) LSU Bama Bama (-5.5)
Washington Oregon State Washington (-10) UAB Southern Mississippi Southern Mississippi (-7)
Pedo State Minnesota Pedo State (-6.5) Iowa Wisconsin Wisconsin (-9.5)
Maryland anOSU anOSU (-42) New Mexico State Ole Miss Ole Miss (-28.5)
Purdue Northwestern Purdue (-2) North Texas Louisiana Tech Louisiana Tech (-6)
Texas Tech West Virginia Texas Tech (-1) Georgia State UL Monroe Georgia State (-2.5)
Western Kentucky Arkansas Arkansas (-2.5) Florida International Florida Atlantic Florida Atlantic (-10)
Vanderbilt Florida Florida (-24.5) Missouri Georgia Georgia (-17)
Baylor TCU Baylor (-1) Utah State Fresno State Fresno State (-2.5)
Umass Army Army (-35) Appalachian State USCe USCe (-3.5)
Eastern Carolina SMU SMU (-23.5) Washington State California Washington State (-7.5)
Florida State Boston College Boston College (-1) Clemson NC State Clemson (-31)
Georgia Tech LOLUVa LOLUVa (-17) Notre Dame Duke Notre Dame (-6)
Air Force New Mexico Air Force (-21.5) Tennessee Kentucky Kentucky (-2.5)
UTSA ODU ODU (-4.5) Liberty BYU BYU (-17.5)
Charlotte UTEP Charlotte (-12) Iowa State Oklahoma Oklahoma (-13)
Stanford Colorado Stanford (-3.5) Wyoming Boise State Boise State (-11.5)
South Alabama Texas State Texas State (-7) Nevada San Diego State San Diego State (-16.5)
Uconn Cincinnati Cincinnati (-34.5) San Jose State Hawaii Hawaii (-7)
Illinois Fighting Michigan State Michigan State (-11.5)
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Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

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Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Please join The Key Players Club to read or post comments.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..