An[other] Open Letter to the Virginia Tech Department of Athletics

Mr. Whit Babcock and Staff:

It happened in the first quarter on Saturday. The very quiet and polite mother sitting with her two young daughters in the row in front of me in Section 3 had a paper airplane land in her lap. As it was at the time, Section 1 and the plethora of students inventing the future of paper airplane engineering already required an air traffic controller.

I leaned over to my dad and said, "Well, I've had it. I'm writing another open letter."

The mother turned around and asked, "About the airplanes?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. This is maddening."

So, here we are. Again. Since last year's letter doesn't seem to have done much to influence your thinking, I don't expect this one to, either, but I do want it to land on your desk (pun, perhaps, intended) as food for thought. The multitude of people who had paper airplanes dive-bombing into the backs of their heads on Saturday afternoon likely agrees with what I'll write here.

As far as the students go, I have no idea why this is a thing. Is it sheer boredom? Is there a rogue aerospace engineering or aerodynamics professor giving out extra credit for these attempts? The cheer when one of the airplanes landed on the field of play in the second quarter of the Furman game was the loudest Section 1 and the North End Zone had been since "Enter Sandman" ended. (I found the flying of paper airplanes at the start of the second quarter when we were down 14 to Ohio State and on the cusp of mounting an incredible comeback to grab the lead heading into halftime to be deliciously ironic – as we are both former Ohioans, you know as well as I that the Wright brothers were born there.)

The two Montgomery County deputy sheriffs stationed at the Section 3 ramp were twice engaged and uninterested in pursuing offenders. Sometime before the end of the first quarter, one of the deputies started up the steps to patrol the student section. I genially encouraged him to deputize me if he needed any help arresting the airplane-throwing offenders. He smiled and was back at his post within three minutes.

The next encounter came after an airplane landed at the second deputy's feet as two more flew overhead. I hollered down to him that, at any time, he could feel free start rounding up those law-breakers. Unexpectedly, he was at my seat a second later asking if something was wrong.

"Yessir. These paper airplanes. You know it's a violation and you have the power to stop it."

"Sir, there are far too many of them and far too few of us to do anything about it. Try to enjoy the game."

So, Whit, there you have it. Every single ticket is printed with a warning about ejecting persons "whose conduct is unsuitable (e.g., throwing objects, abusive acts or vulgar language)," but, according to the very people charged with enforcing these rules, the practicality is apparently impossible.

The problem with the deputy's suggestion is that my enjoyment of the game, like that of many others, was already negatively affected by the paper projectiles soaring towards the field. In addition to disrupting my view and distracting from the game, it reflects negatively on both the university and its fans. When the opposing team's fans see paper airplanes flying around Lane Stadium and hear cheering in reaction, it sends the message that Virginia Tech fans don't care to give their time or attention to the competition on the field.

For a university that President Sands constantly talks and tweets about being on the forefront of technology and innovation, why do we even have tickets that are still being printed on paper? I understand the money and resources conserved in having students print their own tickets, but issuing traditional tickets would prevent this. Further, why isn't every ticket in an electronic form? This is an even more economical and ecofriendly approach. Student tickets could easily be loaded onto and scanned from their Hokie Passport or sent to their smartphone for scanning. I'm sure a similar electronic system could be enacted for Hokie Club season ticket holders.

Mr. Babcock, you have a little under three weeks until the next home game. I hope you take this matter seriously enough to do something about it. If not, I understand. And, if not, you should know that I intend to not pursue this matter any further. Instead, I will join the students and bring reams of paper to Section 1 for their use. I'll be sure to drop a few cases – Georgia-Pacific only, as a nod to my degree from the Pamplin College of Business – in the North End Zone, too. Maybe we can get the Friday night N.C. State game on ESPN looking like a Red Bull Flugtag and have Worsham Field absolutely covered in paper airplanes. I would love to hear the booth team try to explain on national television why there's been a stoppage in play to clean up the field.

#ThisIsHome may be the new refrain of Virginia Tech football, but there are more than a few who sure aren't treating Lane Stadium like it.

Respectfully submitted,
Jeffrey T. Ferguson
Class of 2007

P.S.: This was not a solo effort. The inimitable @HokiESQ helped draft this tome and decided to turn to Twitter as a sort of a vox populi, vox Dei experiment. A collection of responses to her initial tweet appear below.

[View the story "Hokies Twitter on Paper Airplanes" on Storify]