night Eve before Christmas New Year's, and for UCLA
Not a Bruin was scoring, not even Hundley.
The Hokies were collapsing his pocket with care,
Knowing that ManBearPig soon would be there.
Hokie fans nestled all snug in the stands,
With bourbon and turkey legs grasped in their hands.
With Logan behind the tip of the spear,
And Sam Rogers destroying anyone near.
And down the field someone free on the play,
It was a rather large man who goes by DJ.
Away to the end zone he flew like a flash,
And a Bruin he lowered his shoulder to smash.
A Wal-mart kicker for the point after try,
The Hokies were piling the points to the sky.
The Bruins were crouched on their sideline in fear,
For taking the field 'gainst our defense drew near.
With a goateed D coach with fire in his gut,
We knew in a moment it must be St. Bud.
More rapid than eagles his defense they came,
And he screamed and he shouted and called them by name!
"Now Tyler! now Gayle! now Bonner and Exum!
On Edwards! On Maddy! On Jarrett and Facyson!
Play your damn nuts off! All fly to the ball!
Now sack away, strip away, pick away all!"
As dry leaves that before the Gayle force wind fly,
When he meets with an obstacle, they're launched to the sky.
So into the backfield the D-Line they flew,
With rage in their hearts; Dadi Nicholas too.
And then, in a panic, bad balls Hundley threw,
To find Kendall Fuller; and Kyle Fuller too.
The Fullers took off with the ball in a zoom,
With lead blocker Jarrett lowering the boom.
The Hokies were dressed in maroon, head to toe,
And running the Bruins out of El Paso.
A proud man led them, with a white and grey mane,
It was Fancy Gap Frank, and his little elf Shane!
His khakis, so pressed! His headset so bright!
When the refs made bad calls he'd put up a fight.
He'd point and he'd yell and he'd get in their face,
And to Bruin returners Pride and Joy would lay waste.
After touchdowns one finger he'd hold in the air,
And his punter A.J. was an advantage unfair.
He had a soft drawl and he'd tell the reporter,
Those Bruins get after ya, they'll give ya what for!
His QB Logan would run and would pass,
And the Bruin DBs Knowles and Stanford did gas.
J.C. and Joel Caleb and Mangus ran wild,
And the tip of the spear was moving the pile.
The Hokies had won, there was joy in the stands,
And Fancy Gap Frank said it all went to plan.
And I heard him exclaim, 'ere he danced out of sight,
"Let's go Hokies!" to all, and "Stick It In" all damn night!