This has been a big week for me.
First off I had a promising interview with a potential future employer. That was cool and all, but Sunday probably took the week. No, I take that back. It DEFINITELY took the week. Why, you ask? Well, the short answer is that I may have a new mortal enemy.
Let me break it down for you in three steps:
- The Super Bowl happened: This one is pretty obvious. Biggest game of the year.
- CBS broadcast the Super Bowl: Again, pretty obvious. But breaking it down even more, Joe hates CBS and its overhyped shows like Two Broke Girls Who Work For NCIS Hawaii 5.0. Understandable.
- I had to make a sarcastic Tweet about Joe's hatred of CBS. See that sarcastic comment below? Well let me run it back again.
@thekeyplay Two Broke Girls is the Peter Lalich of tv shows.— Brian Marcolini (@marcolini11) February 4, 2013
In case you didn't know or forgot, Peter Lalich was once ranked the fifth best quarterback in the class of 2007. He had offers from the likes of Michigan and Miami but ended up signing with UVA. Hyped up as the next big thing, Lalich was the first true freshman quarterback at UVa to see the field in a decade, and started the Wahoo's season opening shellacking against USC as a sophomore.
Despite the early potential, Lalich was kicked off the team and transferred twice, once to Oregon State, where he never played a snap, then to California University of Pennsylvania (that's right CUP). All of this is why I thought it was an appropriate (and under appreciated) joke.
I didn't give the tweet another thought until yesterday. That was when I got what was possibly the most confusing notification on my phone that I have ever received: "Peter Lalich favorites your Tweet!"
In the words of Oregon's De'Anthony Thomas...wat?
WAT CATFISH— DE'ANTHONY THOMAS (@1STCLASSMOMBA) January 17, 2013
After a couple of minutes of searching, I discovered that the account was indeed the actual account of Lalich, apparently now a grad student at Miami (because of course, right?). What does this mean?
Does Lalich search himself on Twitter, just in case someone actually refers to him?
Did he favorite the tweet so he could come beat me up?
Did he just do it so I know he knows that I made that joke?
Does he now hate me, immediately becoming the huge yellow chicken to my Peter Griffin? I think I have decided the latter. We are now mortal enemies until one of us gives in. Is this an overreaction? Maybe. Will Lalich know that he is now in a feud of wits that will not stop until the end of time? Probably not...unless he searches himself on Twitter daily, and finds this column.
All I have to say is this: your move Lalich...your move.
Let's move on.
With national signing day come and gone, another (arguably) weirdest day in college football is behind us. Ole Miss made headlines by getting signatures from defensive end and number one prospect Robert Nkemdiche, five-star offensive tackle Laremy Tunsil, both part of a historic recruiting class, for Ole Miss.
LeBron was even talking about it...
Ole Miss ain't messing around today! Big time recruits coming in. SEC is crazy— LeBron James (@KingJames) February 6, 2013
Nkemdiche has drawn comparisons to South Carolina world destroyer (and defensive end) Jadeveon Clowney. Just for typing that sentence I received an email out of nowhere with the subject line "WORLD DESTROYER", and only this GIF embedded in the body.
via: http://gif.mocksession.com/2013/01/zomg-clowney/
Some peopleMost SEC message board dwellers are complaining that Ole Miss and coach Hugh Freeze cheated their way to a top-10 class. Obviously Freeze has denied all claims, and challenged naysayers to prove any wrongdoing.
In what was perhaps the weirdest story of the day, Arkansas commit Alex Collins had a bit of trouble faxing his National Letter of Intent to Fayetteville. Allegedly Collins' mother took the letter, which needs a parent signature to be official, and absconded with it, delaying her son's signing.
Reports vary, but the stories go that Ms. Collins, from Miami, did not want her son to go to a school so far away and instead commit to The U. Upon hearing that she was upstaged, this mom is desperately planning her next move.
In another weird story, Alabama signee Ruben Foster committed to the Tide despite having an Auburn tattoo on his forearm...seriously. Apparently there is no truth to the rumor that Nick Saban promised to remove the tat with the lasers that shoot out of his eyes.
Signing day wasn't the only reason Ole Miss was in the news these past few weeks. Rebel shooting guard Marshall Henderson has become an internet sensation by being half Jimmer / half Devendorf / half Jeff Allen. That's right...THREE HALVES. Some say he's crazy, and they may be right...but can we just enjoy Jimmer Allendorf while we have the chance?
Have a great weekend y'all.
Comments
Better and better each week. Bravo.
Kind of ironic that the SEC members are suspicious that Ole Miss must be cheating in reeling those top flights athletes. After all, doesn't the SEC stands for Surely Everyone Cheats?
When Virginia Tech beats Alabama, it will seal the fall of Nick Saban and the rise of the Rebels, and when Virginia Tech beats Ole Miss someday, the SEC will be destroyed by implosion at the mighty awesomeness of Beamerbawwwwwllllll, lunchpail defense, and mack truck offense.
I was just thinking that, with regards to your first comment. I feel like there's a little pot-kettle action goin on there.
Maybe Peter Lalich likes Two Broke Girls.
Probably not though, CBS blows.
He probably does
He liked UVA enough to commit there. Obviously his taste is atrocious.
lolalich
"your move Lalich... your move" hahaha that's hilarious - what a weirdo for cyber stalking himself.
The "jeff allen" gif is a good one too - the crowds reaction is hilarious. Am I the only one that thought the Jeff Allen reference was going to be about him flicking off the crowd and not the other way around?
After last night's game, I was kinda hoping to see the actually Jeff Allen, but the reaction of the Auburn fans is pretty good.
Obviously you haven't watched Two Broke Girls
If you had...you would note it's the worst show ever made (despite the network commercials saying its the #1 new comedy). The only credit I will give them, is the blonde is actually pretty hot...but until they show boob...I'm sticking with the worst show ever title.
Also you would notice that Lalich actually stars on the show.
But Pawwwwl, Ole Miss can't have the good recruits Pawwwwl.
Haha California University of Pennsylvania reminds me of the Key and Peele East vs West Bowl.
Some Favorites
"Quatro Quatro: Nevada State... Penitentiary."
"The Player Formerly Known As MouseCop."
"DONKEY TEETH!"
And of course, "Dan Smith. BYU."
My favorite
"DJ AJ RJ Backslashinfourth the fifth"
X-Wing @Aliciousness
*construction noises*
No lie, that used to be my exact twitter name. I was obsessed.
The sad thing is that the state of PA can't make up its mind as to which state they want to become. Not only do they have California University of PA, but they also have Indiana University of PA. Sounds like a bad conversation between a pirate captain and his first mate (say the letters out):
1st Mate: C.U.P?
Pirate: I.U.P!
There's your 3rd grade humor for today.
This segment does get better every week; great stuff, Brian. Good luck with the job search.
When we played Clemson in basketball the earlier this year, I tweeted that I was happy Tanner Smith wasn't playing anymore and that he was on the Van Wilder 7 year plan at Clemson like Charlie Whitehurst. Sure enough, minutes later, I get a notification that THE Tanner Smith favoritied my tweet. What a goofus. There was something else I was going to say...oh yeah #BEATBAMA
So the whole Psycho Mom thing..
He ended up getting his dad to sign it. The mom hired an attorney to "represent the family's best interests." The kid said he wasn't even aware that she had done it. Good luck with this bunch Arkansas...
Brian
You bring it every week! Look forward to the next TWTW!
quality
This segmet is just pure quality. and i appreciate it.
I went to high school with Peter Lalich. Nice guy, but he's a bit of an oddball. He's a pretty self-deprecating guy, so don't worry about him hunting you down to beat you up...he'd more likely buy you a cold one for getting in a good zinger. When we were seniors in HS, I proudly wore a shirt with the Colin Cowherd "UVA is soft" quote on it. He read it and laughingly agreed.
Didnt read it but laughed
http://www.thepostgame.com/features/201303/reputation-rebuilt-former-pre...
brianm11, figured you might want to read up more about your former uva enemy. The more you know...