Quest for Blacksburg's Iron Throne

Guys, it's finally here! The offseason is in full force, meaning that every single outlet covering Tech sports is desperate for content. It's why Andy Bitter ranks things, Mark Berman writes about softball, and Mike Barber can run away to a beach somewhere. Internally, it's how I convince Joe to let me write more of my, let's call them unconventional, columns (remember, I'm the guy that compared ACC quarterbacks to Mario Kart characters).

When you think about it the search for a new quarterback is quite like the Houses of Westeros' neverending quest to sit on the Iron Throne. It's a long, painful, and heartbreaking process to compete for a job that seems a lot more awesome when you're not actually doing it. Sure, the gig has produced a few legends, but it creates a lot more infamous leaders than famous ones.

As this analogy plays out in my head, it only gets stronger. Virginia Tech's starting quarterback sits on top of the Iron Throne of Blacksburg, and you can't convince my otherwise. Following this thinking, it's only logical to examine the potential heirs with respect to their corresponding character in everyone's favorite HBO fantasy land.

Mark Leal–Robb Stark

When they weren't in charge, these two were winning a lot of public victories. Robb was beating that Lannister ass harder than Jaime when he, well, you get it. Winter was coming, and after the Duke and Boston College debacles Leal was gaining vocal support from the subjects of Blacksburg. Things were going so well for the both of them. As you probably know, (WARNING MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT AHEAD SO BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THE END OF THIS AWKWARDLY LONG ALL-CAPS SENTENCE YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST READ SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE JOE'S INTERVIEW WITH MOOK REYNOLDS) a lot of Starks die during the series. Robb didn't just die, though, he died in the most vicious way possible when things looked like they were about to break his way.

I'm obviously not saying that Leal is going to tragically perish as Argus Filch watches in delight, but weren't things going so perfectly for him? Up to December 30th, 2013 Leal was presumed to be the starting quarterback for the 2014 season. That was the plan, right up until Logan Thomas went down with an injury, forcing Mark to see the field in the Sun Bowl against UCLA. Things didn't go well. In fact, things went so poorly for Leal that some say the last thing they heard him say was how he was going to name his unborn child after his decapitated father. The Sun Bowl was his Red Wedding, as much as you wished for his victory there's no way he can come back from it.

Andrew Ford–Tommen Baratheon

Both are young. One just wants to play with his cat, the other just needs to go eat a couple of pizzas after hitting the weight room. The only common theme is that neither of them are ready for the big seat (even though Tommen technically sits there).

Chris Durkin–Jon Snow

Neither one really has any claim to the throne, at least not any we know about right now. However, Jon Snow is still part of the storyline, and Durkin could have a role to play in Lane this season. Either way, people will care about Durkin's being on campus much more than they do Jon Snow's appearances on screen.

(By that I mean more than I care about Jon Snow. I'm just going to put my cards on the table here: Jon, Bran, HODOR, white walkers, manhood-less Theon Greyjoy, I don't care about any of it. Seriously, my feelings about The North have gotten to the point that if Varys walked into a small council meeting and said that his little birds told him an asteroid hit Castle Black and destroyed all anything of relevance in the north, think it would improve the show.)

Brenden Motley–Stannis Baratheon

They've never been considered serious contenders. Stannis just rambled on about birthright while staring deeply into a fire. Motley was overlooked as a college QB by recruiting analysts because he ran a Wing T offense in high school. (Sidenote: how can anyone in Stannis' crew still be able to see? I'm pretty sure staring into an open flame for hours is NOT recommended by your neighborhood optometrist.)

But, against all odds, both of them started to succeed. Motley surprised everyone with a consistent arm and flashes of brilliance in spring scrimmages. Stannis surprised everyone with a vaginal-born smoke monster that assassinated his brother. Despite their relative success, their performances right before the off-season left much to be desired (Motley's 6-11, 72 yard, 1 interception showing in the spring game, Stannis' defeat at Blackwater Bay), and have lead to people questioning their staying power.

They both still have a chance to claim what is theirs: Motley has his legs and could prove to be the only legitimate dual-threat quarterback on the roster, Stannis has Ser Davos, Salladhor Saan, and the backing of the Iron Bank. There is still so much working against them that it would still be a surprise if either one actually made it to the top.

Michael Brewer–Daenerys Stormborn

An outsider. Great hair. Known for spending time with dudes who have the perfect amount of stubble. Other people in the race for the throne don't really know what to expect from them, but that just makes them even more intriguing. This comparison, which I made a few weeks ago, was the inspiration for this entire column. Doesn't it just make sense? Michael Brewer is the Mother of Dragons that Virginia Tech fans have been looking for.

Hokie fans are waiting for Brewer to take hold of the quarterback battle just as much as Thrones fans are waiting for Khaleesi to conquer Westeros. Can they do it? Sure, each of them seems up to the task, but how much have they actually been tested? Khaleesi has cruised through slave territory, destroying anything in her way, and made the skies rain shackles. Despite how awesome she is, there is still a question about her ability to lead post-conquering.

Similarly with Michael Brewer, he has already won over many Tech fans by simply choosing to transfer to their school, but there should still be questions about his ability to play the quarterback position. You know, it's the little things. Everything may be hunky dory now, but no matter how many pictures of Brewer in camo we dig up, there will be questions come August. Daenerys had that awkward "crucify all of the slavers" moment a few weeks ago, making us question her abilities as a true leader. What happens when Brewer throws a few interceptions in a scrimmage, or potentially looks dreadful against Ohio State? How quickly will the doubters rise to the surface? One thing's for certain, though. Both of them ignite the imagination of their fanbases.

It will be painful, it will be taxing and it will leave us in suspense week-by-week. As with the quest for the Iron Throne, the quest to be Virginia Tech's quarterback will end one day, and we just hope whoever wins is a fan favorite. And for all of you who don't watch Game of Thrones and have been utterly confused throughout this entire column, please don't complain. It's June, and I know you're just as desperate for material as I am. Just wait until next week, when I compare the running backs to cast of Mad Men. Just kidding, I'm not cultured enough to watch Mad Men, I'd definitely compare them to the cast of Teen Mom 2.

Or I'll get fired before next week, definitely one of the two.