OT: Premier League End of Season Primer

I will preface this by saying this is not really Virginia Tech related in any fashion, though I put in a couple of tenuous analogies. However, I am super pumped for tomorrow and could not resist writing this, mostly because my favorite team is now relevant (at least for one game). This is for those of you who are not overly familiar with English soccer, but tomorrow and Sunday will be presented with a very good opportunity to see it at its most glorious. If you love sports for the spectacle of sport, the competition, the drama, the chance to watch world class athletes at the highest level do battle on the playing field, and the potential for chaos to ensue across an entire country, you should read this and watch tomorrow and Sunday. Heres some background.

The English Premier League wraps up on Sunday; all 20 teams will play their last games of the season simultaneously. There are no playoffs. Every team plays every other team twice, home and away. Three points for a win, one point for a tie (draw), none for a loss. Whoever has the most points at the end of the season wins. If two or more teams have the same number of points, it goes to goal differential (how many more goals you scored than your opponents). Bottom three teams in the standings go down to the second division for next season, replaced by three teams from that division.

Yesterday, Liverpool, one of the most historic and successful teams in England, was in great shape to win the league for the first time in 24 years. Thats almost like Michigan not winning the Big Ten for 24 years; its a REALLY BIG FREAKING DEAL. On top of that, its also the 25th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster, where 96 Liverpool fans died in a stadium accident and then, to add insult to injury, the police and government blamed the fans themselves and vilified them for years until documents came out revealing it was the police that essentially caused the disaster. For more, watch the Hillsborough 30 for 30. Have tissues handy. Basically, everything that happens to Liverpool does so with the added weight of their entire history, good and bad.

Manchester City are a noveau rich club, bought by Arab billionaires as a plaything a few years ago who then bought a world class set of players. They are a heartless machine that generally destroys lesser clubs without remorse, particularly at home. Until the money came in, they were an also ran in their own city. They won the Premier League two years ago in dramatic fashion, scoring a goal in the dying seconds of their last game that won it (and taking it away from their bitter rivals, Manchester United, at the same time).

This is how insane it got when Man City won the title at the last second. This could happen again Sunday

Yesterday, both teams had played 36 of their 38 games and were level at 80 points. Manchester City had a goal differential of 59, Liverpool a goal differential of 50. Nine goals is a lot to make up in one or two games.

SPOILER ALERT if you havent seen it, but last night, things got REAL interesting. Liverpool completed one of the most monumental collapses in sports history last night. Up 3-0 with 12 minutes to go and looking to score more to make up their goal differential, they gave up an incredible 3 goals to Crystal Palace in quick succession and ended up drawing (tying) the game. Crystal Palace was in the second division last year, meaning Liverpool essentially choked away a realistic shot at the league title against a minor league team still trying on their big boy pants.

If you have NBCSN and havent seen it, go watch the game. Its a roller coaster that ends terribly for a long suffering fanbase. There were a good five minutes after the game where the commentators were silent over extended footage of depressed Liverpool fans and players. Luis Suarez, a somewhat unsavory character who leads the league in goals, was inconsolable, sobbing with his shirt over his head. Dont feel too bad for him, hes been banned for biting MULTIPLE TIMES and making racist remarks. But DEFINITELY feel bad for Liverpool fans.

So now, Liverpool have 81 points with Newcastle left to play. Win on Sunday, and theyll finish with 84 points. If Manchester City win their last two games, theyll finish with 86 points and the title. Win one and draw one, theyll finish with 84 points and, likely, a vastly superior goal differential to Liverpool and the title. So, essentially, Man City need to lose at least one of their remaining games and Liverpool need to win on Sunday to win the title.

Which brings me to tomorrow. Aston Villa (my club of choice) are traveling to Man City tomorrow (Wednesday) with a chance to play the spoiler. Win, and Liverpool are right back in with a chance to win the title. If you are a fan of sporting chaos, you are rooting for the Villa tomorrow. If you are a Liverpool fan (or Chelsea, who have an outside shot at the title if Man City and Liverpool both lose out) you are praying to whatever god(s) you pray to for Aston Villa to beat Man City.

Heres the rub; Villa are TURRIBLE this year. They will probably finish between 14th and 16th (out of 20 teams) and that is down to the awfulness of the teams below them, not through exhibiting any quality themselves. Their best goal scorer is out with a ruptured Achilles tendon. Their second best goal scorer is out with a broken leg. Their (probably) best defender is out with a torn ACL. Their most creative player is out with some freak, unknown (ankle? Achilles tendon?) injury. Their second leading scorer on the season (and leading scorer who is not out injured) is a backup defender. They are owned by the guy who just sold the Cleveland Browns and he is making vague statements that he might sell the club this summer, unsettling everyone. He also publicly said the team has been terrible because he wont give the manager (who has no idea if hell be employed next year) any money to buy players, which is true and depressing.

BUT...they are young, they are hungry, they are completely unpredictable (mostly in a bad way, though) and the best part...they already beat Manchester City once this year, a thrilling come from behind 3-2 home win back in September (before most of our players started dropping like flies). The chances of them beating Man City on their fortress of a home field? Small (apparently, 20-1 odds). The chances of them losing 5-0, like they did in this game last year, are probably higher.

Assuming that you are now interested and on the Villa bandwagon, heres a quick guide so you can yell the correct names at the TV when they screw up:

Goalkeeper: Brad Guzan. Hes American, hes going to the World Cup next month as Tim Howards deputy and his nickname is the Polar Bear. In a US match, I once saw him slap one of his own players upside the head full force and scream at him after the guy screwed up. It was great.

Defense: Mostly bleh. Theres a Dutch behemoth, "Concrete" Ron Vlaar, and a bunch of kids who lose focus and give up stupid goals at an alarming rate. It's literally the opposite of a Bud Foster defense.

Midfield: Again, a bunch of kids, highlighted by Fabian Delph, a guy who has had an injury plagued career and has transformed himself this year from somewhat of a thug to a complete midfielder who has scored a couple of ridiculous goals this season.

Attack: Three pronged: Andi Weimann, an Austrian who scored twice on Saturday to help Aston Villa win for the first time since March 15 (I told you they were terrible) and has the best goal celebration ever.

Its even more fun if you make "pew! pew! pew!" noises. Courtesy of 7500 to Holte

Gabby Agbonlahor, who left the game Saturday with an injury and might not play tomorrow. He is the longest serving player at the club, has been there since he was a kid and can, at times, be a mean and dirty son of a bitch. He's fast as hell and I love him in a (mostly) non-sexual way.

Marc Albrighton, another guy who has been at the club since he was a small kid, a winger who runs like a maniacal Energizer Bunny and looks sort of like he only got on the team because he was secretly taking math tests for the coachs kid. However, hes probably Villas best chance at setting up goals with his crosses.

So, Wednesday at 2:45 Eastern, this goes down. Its on NBCSN or you can catch it at most soccer or sports bars. Watch Villa attempt to play David to Man City's Goliath. Spend 90 minutes learning how watching Villa this year has been akin to watching the Logan Thomas-less offense in the Sun Bowl (okay thats probably not a selling point). If Villa can miracle their way to a win, things on Sunday get REAL interesting, with Liverpool's title chances increasing dramatically. Cheer for chaos.

Sunday morning, even if Villa lose, could still be chaos. Man City could lose to West Ham (not likely) and Liverpool could beat Newcastle and still win the title. NBC will show all ten games live on their various networks, meaning you can channel surf the insanity. Enjoy.