The Legend of Sam Rogers

There are so many stories about Sam Rogers that he will surely go down in VT history as a persona of legend at the fullback position.

I figured we could put them down in place, so we can refer to it from time to time.

I'll start:

Sam Rogers once sprained his ankle in a Saturday game, and was told he could not play the following week, and on that Sunday was seen at 6AM catching balls on the practice field to prepare his ankle for battle. He never missed that next game.

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Comments

I figured we could put them down in place, so we can refer to it all the time.

FTFY

In Sam Rogers we trust.

That is all.

All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding, dang my dang a long ling long....

I always prefer my Sam Rogers history to be amazing, but sound very realistic. One of those situations where you think "did he actually do that? It seems a little ridiculous, but I can totally see that and Sam Rogers is amazing." Here's one of those stories:
One day Sam woke up and felt a little chilly. Even for superhumans, this happens from time to time. So he decided to fly a little closer to the sun. Unfortunately, Sam jumped with such explosion that he pushed Earth off of its orbit and into the path of a "planetary embryo" called Theia. He did not notice what he did because he accelerated and reached the speed of light. Realizing the excessive speed he was traveling, he directed course into Venus to slow down. The collision was massive and created a gigantic thousands of miles in diameter crater. We now know that this intense collision altered Venus' climate. He finally got to the sun and warmed up a bit. Upon his return, he noticed that the earth was in a slightly different place from its orbit and had a new object moving around it - what we today call the moon. So yes, Sam Rogers is responsible for why Venus is a terrible hellscape and why we have the Moon.

TL;DR Sam Rogers is responsible for the moon and Venus' climate (with vaguely relevant scientific theories!).

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

Sam Rogers: Sons of Hokieland! I am Sam Rogers.
Hokie Student: Sam Rogers is seven feet tall!
William Wallace: Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd consume the opposition with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his arse.

Did I ever tell you about the time Sam took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally, Sam takes me into a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' Well, we sat there for a year and a half. Sure enough, someone constructed a bar around us. Well, the day they opened it, we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burnt the place to the ground. Sam yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found them!

a second story,
I went camping with Sam ... I'm in the back of a pickup with Sam Rogers and a live deer. Well, Sam, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, 'I'm Sam Rogers! Say it!' Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth — "Samrogers!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer.

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Remember he initially wanted to go to UVA, but decided to walk on at Tech "because I want to win championships"

Plus if he had gone to UVA, that would break the whole "Women at VMI, men legends at UVA" thing.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

Sam once juked a safety from Ohio State out of his shoes on a long touchdown pass. True story.

"I'll put a quote here to distract you from my inane comment."-Me

Wanna know why there's no "D" in Rogers? Cause Sam gave it to Eli Apple.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

This is, arguably, the funniest post I've seen on TKP and there are some funny posts here. I wish I could give more than one leg.

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." - Ted Walsh

A safety corner that started for the New York Football Giants last year, also a true story

What's
Important
Now

Sam Rogers can pat his head and rub his belly simultaneously

EDIT: With one hand

If a tree falls in Scott Stadium does it make a sound?

So can I, what do I win?

What's
Important
Now

I left out an important detail...my bad

If a tree falls in Scott Stadium does it make a sound?

One time the BT was late. Sam Rogers made sure it never happened again.

All my legs to you sir!

"When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot." -Ray Kroc

Same Rogers proposed to his girlfriend at the 50 yard line. Every since then our midfield glows at night.

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Sam Rogers shed tears for the first time on Senior Day. Their power caused Worsham Field to be Blessed in the eyes of the Lane. And on the power of Sam's blessing, the very ground rose up to ensnare the feet of the Wahoos. Sam Rogers could not be stopped that day and those foolish souls that stood against him felt the power of his body, and knew that it was so.

Thus ends this lesson of the Lane.

Amen.

"Jerod Evans had more moves on that run than Bayer has aspirin!"

-Mike Burnop, 9/24/2016

Sam Rogers shed tears for the first time on Senior Day.

So THAT's how they made this:

Moses committed a head to head targeting foul on Sam Rogers and ended up wandering the desert for 40 years.

"Jerod Evans had more moves on that run than Bayer has aspirin!"

-Mike Burnop, 9/24/2016

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Sam Rogers.

In a close Thursday night match-up against Miami, I saw Sam Rogers throw a game-winning TD pass...to the backup fullback.

"When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot." -Ray Kroc

Sam Rogers beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller.

Sam Rogers can play YYZ on the holophoner. His "Grumpy Snail" is the perfect amount of grumpy.

"Jerod Evans had more moves on that run than Bayer has aspirin!"

-Mike Burnop, 9/24/2016

Sam Rogers is my favorite Hokie Superhero.

Sure gonna miss that whirling ball of butcher knives.

VTCC '86 Delta Company, Hokie in Peru

Sam Rogers is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Sam Rogers won the World Bowl with an alley-oop thunderjam at the plate, simultaneously teabagging Paulus, tripping Allen and sacking Brady.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Sam Rogers beat Battletoads without dying once, on his first try.

Sam Rogers caused numerous supernovas in distant galaxies when he scored a TD catch against the Buckeyes back in '14. True story.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Sam Rogers: Darkseid? Never heard of her.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Sam Rogers once ate a 72 oz Steak in 30 minutes. He spent the first 20 Minutes having sex with the waitress.

And the meat was cooked via him staring it down.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

Sam Rogers went from walkon to scholarship within a week.

The Dude Abides

True story!

What's
Important
Now

Are there any videos of Sam clapping? I sure hope not. It'd break the laws of physics...the day an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

I'll just leave this here...

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

Poor London.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

Whoa whoa! Hold up, hold up! TIMEOUT!

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

Sam Rogers doing his best Bucky Hodges impression in the bottom one.

#FUENTEenFUEGO
Waho's suck
Uva swallows