Since my freshman year I've run across a wide variety of Hokies, each with a different perception of and outlook on the football program. Unknowingly, I've mentally cataloged each different type of fan I've encountered. Two days ago I read The Clans. The Factions. Defined. on MVictors.com and thought to myself that it could be fun to dump my memory banks and visualize a clear-(er) picture of our fanbase. I took great caution not to demean their brilliant post, but probably did so anyways and for that I apologize. Here we go.
(Do keep in mind there's plenty of overlap. Genghis Khan probably laughed once or twice, but I doubt anyone considered him funny.)
|Rafter||%||±||Description||Current Take on the Program|
|Coach Frank Beamer Loyalists
||33||1.5||Those fans who believe Frank Beamer is infallible. They've seen the bottom and are just happy that he's transformed Virginia Tech football from a more-often-than-not-loser to where we are now, whatever that may be. Questioning the Frankinator's decisions is not acceptable.||Sunshine and Lollipops|
|NCAA Football 11 Guru
||5||0.5||Throw it over the middle on second and five! Running the ball on third and short, how predictable is that? Can we throw more screen passes, because that's what I do against the computer and I've been top five in total and scoring offense and have won back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back National Championships going 77-0 only quitting and restarting games SIX times.||They believe Bryan Stinespring's play calling is the ONLY thing holding us back from winning back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back National Championships.|
|This Bud's for you (and you, and you, and you)
||20||1.0||Without any evidence to prove their claim they believe that Bud Foster would whoop ass as a head coach, because Bud Foster whoops ass at everything else. To the appal of their significant other they spend hours a week in front of the bathroom mirror trying to perfect Foster's Rottweiler like scowl.
The end of the world coincides with either the day Foster leaves Tech or is passed over as the next head coach.
|MORE YELLING, MORE SWEARING, MORE TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH, AND MORE WHOOP ASS ON SATURDAYS!|
|The Giving Tree
||5.0||1.0||For these fans wearing orange and maroon to Lane Stadium on Saturdays is just as good as leaving after a victory.||Today I woke up breathing and Hokie football will be played this fall, so, swell.|
||7.5||1.0||Current or past students who enrolled at Tech in or after 2004. Babies because they've experienced Tech's highest sustained level of success ever and more often than not bitch that we haven't reached the peak. Unaware that WFV is our bitter rival, guilty of leaving The North End Zone early and don't yell loud enough.||Meh, we're not one of the six teams who've won a National Championship in the past seven seasons so I'm going to leave the Miami game early because it's raining.|
|Livin' on Prayer
||1.0||0.0||The eternal optimists, blindly irrational.||Tomorrow is another day.|
|The want-to-be ADs
||7.5||1.0||Fire Bryan Stinespring, fire Curt Newsome. Hire Mike Leach, hey he's not doing except relaxing in Key West and a person can only go so long without experiencing the seasons--Blacksburg winters y'all! Ignore the fact that his offensive philosophy requires a complete 180 from practice style to game management and he'd need total authority to successfully implement it. And hey, John Madden isn't doing anything but sitting on his bus, he'd be crazy to not want coach our offensive line.||Will not be happy unless people are fired.|
|But We're Still going to TOTs later, right?
||1.0||0.0||Lane Stadium is nothing more than a rallying point to head DT. Losses don't matter and neither do wins because either way they're going to P-A-R-T-Y afterwards.||♫When I walk in the club, all eyes on me/
I'm with the party rock crew, all drinks are free/
We like Ciroc, we love Patron/
We came to party rock, everybody it's on.
TOTs TOTs TOTs TOTs TOTs
|The Marlo's and Omar's
||2.5||0.5||We're never going to get the best players unless we start playing "The Game".
"We beat them almost every year, and have won four out of seven ACC Championships so what other reasons could top recruits have for signing with UNC?"
|We'll never win the big one unless we get our hands dirty and sign top recruits. They'd be OK doing so.|
||7.5||1.0||Most of the time they don't know shit.||You're still thinking about today? I'm concentrating on tomorrow.|
|Leaches||3.0||.25||Each year without fail they win the student ticket lottery and then sell said tickets to help finance their education.||This whole football thing is even better than a low, fixed-rate government loan.|
|Family Men and Old People*||7.0||0.0||"'Scuse me, but could ya please stop cussin' near mah children?"
They thoroughly dislike having Diet Coke rained down upon them from a formally capped, then crushed bottle, a causality by foot during a moment of elation and celebration as Danny Coale caught an 81-yard pass against Nebraska.
They want to enjoy to enjoy the game in a PG environment. Early and ardent supporters of Bryan Stinespring because less trips to the red zone meant less "Stick it in".
|HOKIES RESPECT has really turned our image around, kudos Jim Weaver.|
||.01||.01||Logical.||To borrow a line from Jim Alderson--It is what is, unless it is not.|
*Apologies to the old lady I sat near at the spring game who agreed there should be a section of students right behind the visitors bench and told me UVa joke, after UVa joke.
A chart to visualize and emphasize prevalence along with possible relationships.
Not to be taken too seriously.
Well, what group do you belong to? Feel free to answer that or tell me what I left out below.