Rationalizing our Mediocrity

Over different points of the season, we've suggested reasons on this site for Tech's struggles. A few in no particular order are: injuries to an already inexperienced secondary, offensive coaches struggling to grasp a foreign scheme seemingly over their heads, said scheme putting players in a position to fail, a randomly generated tailback rotation, and loafing among others. But what do any of us here really know.

The coaches are trying to figure out this mystery too, and some of them sound as baffled as we are.

Coaches have mentioned failed execution as being the biggest reason for the offense's -- and really the team's -- struggles this season. But they're having a tough time putting their finger on why that's the case. "You can't," O'Cain said. "If you did, you'd get it corrected right now and it'd be over. Sometimes the ball bounces right and sometimes it doesn't. And if you start saying, well it's this or this or this or this, then it sounds like you're making excuses."

Stinespring pointed out some possible reasons, though. "There's time when you've had to revamp your line a little bit," he said. "We haven't communicated some things as well as we did earlier in the year. Some of it has to do with perhaps a little bit of youth at times. ... There's a lot of little things that add up that have prevented us from having consistency and the success that we believe we should be having. We've been productive. It just hasn't been consistent."

To go from the most consistently good program in American, to fighting for a bowl in only a year, well, it's a stunning transition. What gives? I thought about it some more, and came up with a few things that are new or different from last year. Maybe they're the problem(s).

HokieSports.com Redesign

One day someone must have looked at HokieSports.com and said, "This works too fucking well. Let's change it all." There's no other explanation. Not to brag, but I have a computer science degree from Tech with a concentration in design. I know what I'm talking about. If the goal of the new HokieSports was to introduce 3 times as many clicks, bury content, and have slower loading times, then job well done. P.S., the new site doesn't validate against the W3C. "Well... We're just 245 errors and 52 warnings away..."

How can expect anyone to take us seriously on the field when this is the virtual face of the program?

Position Changes

Do you guys realize we have the former national top tight end prospect playing quarterback? Maybe I'm crazy, but don't tight ends catch the ball or play offensive line.

The coaches are always meddling with the depth chart, swapping guys across the ball, now more than ever. Enough is enough. What the heck are they thinking...

Last Saturday Zack McCray switched from defensive end to tight end. Don't the coaches know we have a game on Thursday night? He'll never be ready by then to contribute there.

Enter Sandman Tee

Booth Infultration

Credit where it's due, Mike O'Cain did a good job calling plays last season. It's obvious where it all went wrong.

Stinespring said he wanted to see the entire field better, and though he's not the team's primary play caller — quarterbacks coach Mike O'Cain is — he can help make adjustments better from that vantage point.

"I just feel like I see more things developing up there," Stinespring said.

When I was a little kid and wanted to play Nintendo with my older cousins, they would just hand me a controller that wasn't plugged in. I really thought I was slashing the hell out of Ganon's minions in Hyrule. I was dumb. Sending Stiney back to the sideline with a headset tuned into 105.3 The Bear has to be a viable option.

Credentialing TechSideline and other online entities

Beamer Co. went soft.

Thin Frank Beamer

Is it possible the Frankinator had so much football knowledge that it leaked out of his brain, got gobbled up by his fat cells where it remained happily tucked away? Until someone convinces me otherwise, yes. I'm not sure which is worse, replacing a steady diet of turkey legs with celery sticks or playing fewer starters on special teams.

Whatever the cause, facts are facts and thin Frank Beamer is a horrible head coach. He has just four wins in the BCS era, four. Fat Frank Beamer, well, he was national coach of the year, a conference champion many times over, a special teams guru. Fat Frank Beamer led this program to a national championship appearance.

I can't operate with low blood sugar either.



Maybe Bud can bring him a few extra sandwiches in his lunch pail. Thanks for the Monday pick-me-up

RIP Stick It In

This is beautiful. Loved the Brian Stinespring headset line.

Also, the use of the College Freshman meme for the Enter Sandman T-shirt... No words. Excellent work, Joe & TKP Staff.

love the college freshman meme

i'm all for the hokiefication of other popular internet memes in the future

Livin the Dream

Follow me @HokieBarek

Very good post here! Well done!

It's a great day to be a Hokie!

High Five

Awesome post!

Thin Frank vs. Fat Frank makes so much sense...

This post and the Falcons being 8-0 are the only things that make me happy right now.

On Beamerball.com, Frank's post game speech consisted of, "We're just a play here and a play there away from winning this thing..." Unfortunately, I'm seeing that a "play here and a play there" are being mishandled by shitbag special teams play.

Think about it: Give up a TD on a kickoff to UNC; give up awesome field position while receiving a punt from Clemson because some kid can't look up and get out of the way of the fucking ball; give Miami the ball (TWICE) in their own redzone-ish due to a blocked punt (bad snap/no urgency) and an 80-yard kickoff return (bad angles/no tackling).

BeamerCo, I'm noticing a trend of a play here and a play there and it's your pride and joy that have been costing us games...plus a shitty offense...and using 50 running backs each game...and a mediocre secondary.

"You know when the Hokies say 'We are Virginia Tech' they're going to mean it."- Lee Corso

this is great. literally laughed out loud at least twice.

seriously though, i really do feel like O'cain was calling the plays well last year. Wasn't perfect, but it was decent. Not, Stiney is back in the box and you know that has to be an odd, if not tense, dynamic up there.

Is that why...

Logan is looking at the sideline every play after the line sets? Is the booth having trouble deciding on play calls?


Fat Frank for President

Someone get that man on an O-lineman diet. I don't care if he can jog faster to the coaches handshake after the game if it's a losing effort. I want Frank to win games and then be able to do the truffle shuffle after damnit.

The only TKPer to not like Bourbon

First Rate Work

I fondly remember HCFB doing to "Dougie" after the 2010 ACC title game


The coaches need to show in the near future, they're willing to make the right changes. Frank hasn't lost me yet. But the offensive staff did years ago.

It's all about The VPISU
VT '10, Born & Raised in the 804.
Fracking hard in Bakken.
GO: Freeman Rebels, Keydets, Black Knights (the VMI of the North), NY Rangers & Giants, and ATL Braves.

We need an asshole head coach

Look at the coaches of this years powerhouse teams. Saban makes a habit of demoralizing third stringers for small mistakes while up 60 points. Muschamp has a fury in his eyes that seems pure satanic at times. Brian Kelly might be a volcano. You need an asshole coach these days.*

*Conveniently glosses right over Bill Snyder.

Muschamp disapproves


I heard when he walked into his new office for the first time, the office was empty besides three crystal balls on the desk. That kind of pressure leads to this kind of intensity.

And the Desk

Logan 3:16

Seriously bro?


That is the exact moment I was referring to.

Perfect post for a mediocre monday

Love it.
Thanks for making my Monday less mediocre Joe, I now have a good answer for all the "what's up with your Hokies?" questions at work. Bring back Fat Frank!



I appreciate it Joe...this lifted my spirits. Been bummed out since Thurs. The headset set to the Bear was hilarious. good stuff.

“I hope that they’re not going to have big eyes and pee down their legs so to speak,” -- Bud Foster

Classic Stuff

I like Fat Frank too. Please change the shirt to show his mug and instead read, 'Enter Sandwich'

'Its easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat,
but the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat'

Imagined Bud rant

When I was watching the 3rd quarter of the Miami game, in which our defense was holding the Miami offense to 3 total yards, whilst our offense was pissing away every opportunity given to them, I kept wondering whether or not Bud Foster ever walks into Beamer's office and says, "Frank, seriously, would you please get rid of these two chuckleheads already (O'Cain and Stiney) and get someone worth a damn. I'm sick and tired of whipping my boys into shape every season only to watch your pathetic offensive staff squander it all."

I think the only way this could be funnier was if I recognized all the players by their official photos. Sharing anyways!

(Also, damn am I glad that someone else also hates the new hokiesports.com)

Achievement unlocked: All of the Fullers

"Sam Rogers is a college football icon" SB Nation

Thanks Frank!

To corroborate...

1.HokieSports.com reboot: jeezus lahord I agree
2. Position changes: wait, that's what perennial powers do, right? No? Damnit!
3. Stiney in the booth: I can donate my kid's Leapster headset if that'll help, and throw in a "Cars 2" learning game to sweeten the deal...
4. Credentials: VT doesn't need to, and shouldn't dole out sideline credentials -only significant alums... no celebs, government officials or anybody else. Blue collar -punch you in the mouth- football doesn't require fluff.
5. Thin Frank: Beams and Friedgen need to spend more time together -for carbs and O play calling purposes...

Amen, well put, and go Hokies.

"...sticks and stones may break my bones but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly in the balls Gardoki!"

I was talking about media credentials. Up until this season Tech had a very strict policy about credentialing online media that they pulled back on. That said, TSL deserved them, their boards a full of loons, and I'm not a subscriber, but their free content (aside from anything B-Street writes) is professionally and objectively done.

Could not agree more re: hokiesports.com. What on earth were they thinking? Please, please, please go back...

Oh, and diet really can affect energy and brain function, so Frank's diet may actually be a real factor...