Monday Mornings Can Be Rough, Let's Have a Laugh at @UVAFBRecruiting

@UVAFBRecruiting has been on Twitter since April 2nd of this year. I'm disappointed in myself that it took me almost a month to find out about it. Among other things, it (re)-tweets the requisite motivational messages from coaches, silly things the long snapper says, local media coverage, and Photoshops. Hilariously bad Photoshops that have been created to, I don't know, relate to high school kids, encourage them to commit to UVa, keep the program relevant? Perhaps high school kids do gravitate towards this sort of thing. If so, I'm as old and out of touch as a 30-year-old should be.

Virginia is not alone in this endeavour. Georgia Tech and Florida, as well as other schools, have armed themselves with amateur doctored images and hit the digital recruiting trail hard.

However, Virginia is the school that we beat ten years in a row and still let them call it a rivalry. Obviously, I'm going to highlight its efforts.

Jay Whitmire hit the weight room hard this winter. Just look at him! The kid's bicep is almost bigger than his head. That's approaching Ronnie Coleman levels of jacked.

The flames in the background, they're metaphorical. It ain't moving iron if you don't feel the burn. Hulk Smash Friday is the new Throwback Thursday. #HSF

This is rather creepy.

I think the only person in the world who can get away with saying he's always watching you and you don't know it is Santa Claus. UVa football is familiar with Santa Claus because it's always home for the holidays.

What really gets me here is the #HoosEyzOnYou hashtag. Apparently drop the 'e' and add a 'z' in words with 'y' to pluralize is a grammar rule a non-Jefferson educated person doesn't learn. Was #HoosEyezOnYou not used to save a character for future hashtag use? Is it a typo? I don't know, but I wish I did. Yes, I'm the guy who grumbles when someone texts "ur" instead of "your".

I just went ahead and updated this next one to make it a bit more factual.

Moving along.

That about covers that.

No one is going to miss a seat from Scott Stadium.

And finally, YOU!

Comments

I just spent a good 20 minutes trying think of what the second tweet could possibly mean.

Even if you don't see us...

Translation: Even if you don't attend our games...

We're always watching

This is where it gets iffy. Who are they watching? The picture seems to suggest they are watching a crowd at Scott Stadium. So they are watching their fans, even though their fans don't watch them? Is one of the palantirs that is unaccounted for actually an oblong, pixilated UVA football helmet? Or is this account ran by Arnold from Hey Arnold!? If the latter is true, it could explain some of the other tweets, as Arnold, despite being a pretty good kid by all accounts, is just a 4th grader. I guess I'll have to give them a follow and find out more...

"No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions!"

It almost, almost to the point where making fun of UVA just doesnt seem fair because they make it way too easy.

Seriously. We may knock 'em down...but they do all of the setting up

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

The choose hoos hashtag instantly makes me think of the blues clues jingle.
Choose hoos. Choose hoos. Choose hoos!
Cause when you use your mind.
Ignore the game time.
You can lose every game.
That YOU! wanna lose.

We are the Hokies. We will prevail. We will prevail. We will prevail. We are Virginia Tech.

Mike London's Valentine's Day cards to recruits....

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

When was the last time UVA even had that many fans at an actual game?

Whenever we play them and pack their stadium

exit light

You may notice that a solid chunk of the seats are filed by Oregon fans throughout the stadium.

UVA, where pedophilia is used as a recruiting strategy.

Rip his freaking head off!

The reflection is all the Hokie fans in Scott stadium. They be watching us.

Ahhhhhh....so that's why they never show up to their games!

Taylor, looking desperately throws it deep..HAS A MAN OPEN DANNY COALE WITH A CATCH ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FIVE!!!!....hes still open

Do they even think before coming up with ideas that we can just use against them? I mean, this is like the pass part of the ally-oop, and we just have to make the slam dunk.

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

This is more like they set up a ladder for us under the net, helped us up the ladder, then handed us the basketball and then we just have to make the slam dunk.

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

Or like UVA having 2 timeouts at the end of a game against us, and allowing us to run the clock way down, and eventually winning the game.

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

You mean like this?

Never gets old

38-0 bro, no one vote anymore!

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

THIS.IS.HILARIOUS.

"I like to hit a home run early" ~ Whit "knows how to create a Buzz" Babcock

For the Win!

"And it is caught, it is caught for a touchdown"

"I'm not sure about you guys, but I could watch this for about a minute and 28 seconds before even calling a timeout."
- Mike London

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

I am so late to this, but you win everything. I am done.

#ALLMAROONEVERYTHING

Maybe its just me but their whole #HooStrong and #VirginiaStrong thing they're trying right now just seems to be in incredibly bad taste. They're ripping off the rallying cry of a city after the marathon bombing for the pure benefit of their football team. Its just low, man....low.

"Does it get any better than Thursday Night in Blacksburg?" - Reece Davis

To be fair, the whole (insertCity/Nickname/Organization)Strong thing has been used by just about everyone in the country by now. Boston was not the first either

"You was in the library" -Antone Exum

I believe the first was LiveStrong was it not? With Lance Armstrong and the yellow bracelets.

"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
-Bender

I believe it was the Onion who knocked them off with little yellow bracelets that said, "cheat to win"

Honest question: who is #8? He seems to be quite important getting his own photoshop and all, but I don't know who that is, and I'm a pretty avid college football fan. That...is not good for your program.

S Anthony Harris. Led the nation in interceptions.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

Yeah, but that's only because they played a ton of Defense last year. UVA's playing style is to put the opposing QB in the mind set of "It's the 2nd quarter, this game is over, let's just throw it up for grabs." London's plan all along was to give away a huge lead so that the opposition would be lulled to sleep and make mistakes; that's when they would pounce! You think you've got the game in hand and then BAM! UVA calls it's 7th timeout (carried over from 2012)! Most teams would never see that coming.

This strategy will fail on occasion, resulting in 38-0's.

-Football Scientists

"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
-Bender

I thought UVA's playing style was to only play defense on 3rd down...

I'd be interested to see what UVA's 3rd down percentages were when they were within 2 scores vs. when they were being blown out (greater than 2 scores) or something like that. I have a feeling some of that 3rd down success occurred on plays where the opposing team may have just been running out the clock.

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

I mean, I figured it was just because most teams probably never had a 3rd down. UVA would give up at least 10 yards between the first 2 downs so the few times when they had to play 3rd down and they were successful boosted their stats.

That picture of the Scott Stadium seat in pristine condition reminded me of the good old joke about the guy trying to sell French weapons after WWII.

"These are in great shape! Never fired, and only dropped once!".

It's getting kinda sad, actually.
I see this stuff and I'm like:

The random superscript 2 is missing a footnote:
2. Grinding: gaining 4 yards against Oregon.

Live for 32. Ut Prosim. Let's Go, Hokies.

whoooops.
Do not Google Image Search "Fleer 1985"

Thanks for the info.
Instead I will simply enjoy your avatar and daydream.......

"What's the big deal? It's just a bunch of baseball ca-- oh."

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

Haha, what in the actual hell? Germans, man.

I can look past the terribleness out of most of this, but couldn't they at least get a half-competent photoshopper to make their cliches and stuff look less of a joke (especially the Hoos Eyz On You helmet). Poor effort, brahs.

@seanhoganvt

Love the Santa Claus dig "Always home for the holidays". Nice.

Which wallet is yours?

The one that says "Bad Motherfucker"

Also, can anyone help me with the expression on Jay Whitmire's face? It looks like he's depressed and confused at the same. Probably because he thought he signed up to play football but instead wound up at LOLUVA.

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

I think the only person in the world who can get away with saying he's always watching you and you don't know it is Santa Claus.

Maybe Sting?
sting

This seems to be the most plausible, seeing as how Sting was in Police and London was a cop.

Don't forget Chuck Norris
Always
& this guy
Watching
These are the ones always watching.

True Hokies STICK IT IN!!!

STICK IT IN Army of Virginia Tech

Fosterball

This has to be a parody account, right?

And why does that player's jersey have veins/why does his chest have a number. Could they not decide whether or not they wanted to photoshop a shirt in there?

"I'm high on Juice and ready to stick it in!" Whit Babcock

"It ain't easy bein steezy"

#VanillaVick will lead us to the promise land

YOU! will learn to lose to The Hokies on a regular basis!

The U invented Swag, but UVA invented Smug.

VT '10, Born & Raised in the 804. Hokies, Keydets, Army Black Knights, NY Giants, NY Rangers, and ATL Braves.

All the people on the hill look like they were trying to take a nap and all of a sudden football was trying to happen. Yeesh.

That's great Guitar!

It is both a reflection of a past beating, but also a reflection of the number of beatings yet to come.

Anyone else up for 8 decades of Dominance?

can we get one where the refelction is cavman falling from his horse?

I would do it but I am over 30 and don't know how these crazy kids do all the photobombing and snaptweeting.

This reminds me of an old joke I can completely screw up.

"What's the last thing to go through a UVA players head when he runs into Sam Rogers?"

"His ass."

Danny caught that ball.

Friends don't let 5 star friends commit to UVA.

I have inside info. - Whit