Justin Fuente and Bud Foster may not be the coaches we thought they were.

Stopping for a quick bite and thought I'd type this out real fast.

Coach Fuente and Coach Foster today informed me that they prefer CAKE over the far superior PIE. At this point I question every play call and scheme they put forward. It's a sad day in Hokie Nation.

Coach Fuente informed me he prefers ice cream cake just once a year and Foster Red velvet cake.

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Comments

I always knew they were smart men.

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

You're the only ones that I can talk to about this, you guys.

Yes indeed. Yes indeed.

Must...not...down vote...bad...opinions....

Hokies United l Ut Prosim

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

Nothing to see? Did you read they like cake better than actual good desert like pie?

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Just trying to do damage control.

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

Desert-like pie? Nobody wants a dry dessert.

#TeamIceCream

“You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.”
― John Madden (describing VT's offense?)

To all my Team Cake brethren...

Sometimes I like to leave off the /s just to mess with people.

Obligatory supporting fact

And then there was much celebration and cake from #teamcake

Let's Go

HOKIES

Yes I do: birthday, christmas, thanksgiving.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

Heh, at Christmas and Thanksgiving we have ice-box cake. No pies.

A "cake" of Graham crackers, whipped cream and pudding. Son that's a pie.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

We have different ice box cake definitions :)

This gif is an obvious lie.
It is well documented that John Mayer is team pie.

I mean... if I allowed myself into a situation devoid of pie and could only have cake.... red velvet and ice cream cake would be at the top of the list.

To be fair, football players have to eat a very solid diet in order to be in peak physical shape. We can't expect them or coaches to necessarily have good taste in desserts.

If you're reading the above post and thinking, "is this guy serious?!?," you can safely assume I'm not.

Sometimes I like to leave off the /s just to mess with people.

So misled. Over all these years...... they prefer cake. Really? Please poll richrod and kiffin. We now know what uva fb fans felt like under London.

Where is Lawson?!

Foster knows his shit. The only thing that would've made it better is if he said Red Velvet Cheesecake.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

That's a pie being ruined by a layer of cake on top and bottom.

Tyrod did it Mikey, Tyrod did it!!

THIS

I actually posted about this beautiful delicacy the other day.

You need to TKP harder...

"It's a miracle in Blacksburg, TYROD DID IT MIKEY, TYROD DID IT!"

They obviously misunderstood the question. Its the only rational explanation.

"with all due respect, and remember I’m sayin’ it with all due respect, that idea ain’t worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin gettin’ it on" - Ricky Bobby

Damnit. The cake people had nothing to stand on before since cake sucks. Now they will never let us forget about this. Disappointed in the coaches, especially Bud. Maybe he just said that for charity...

CJF laughed when I asked him and thought about it, Bud starred at me and said if I had to pick.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

LOL! I wish there was someone there recording that moment!

So if you put Coach Fuente's and Foster's choices together, you get:

This marriage of two magical edibles can only mean a CFP National Championship is going to happen!

Let's Go

HOKIES

That. Looks. Amazing.
Im a pie guy but that looks pretty delicious.

Pain is Temporary
Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever
Let's Go Hokies!!

Team Cake FTW!!!

Coach Fuente and Coach Foster...because you're doubly f***ed

Hell yeah!!!

So considering Fuente said Ice Cream cake, can this be counted as a win for Team Ice Cream as well? Asking for a friend...

Appreciate it

Agree. Score for team ice cream.

Danny is always open
23 can't read

Yeah, ice cream cake is not cake at all. Team Ice Cream and Team Pie rule over Team Cake any day. Coach Foster must have misunderstood the question.

"That man was violating a city ordinance, and I was just doing my duty to enforce it." - Mike Curtis

"..because anytime you go upside a man's head, or a woman's, they have a tendency to blink their eyes.." - Deacon Jones

Well, I'm leaving the HokieClub after hearing this.

Another white bronco? The first one didn't go too far.

It says Ice Cream on my page so I guess it's a half win

You put those words together, those are my favorite words, Popeyes and bahama
- Mike Burnup

Fuente said he only does it once a year, so we can chalk it up to temporary insanity and hope he sees the light in the near future.

There are some things that shouldn't even be done once a year:

Eating cake,
Losing to UVA.
Calling a hot dog a sandwich.
Many other similar things.

If you're reading the above post and thinking, "is this guy serious?!?," you can safely assume I'm not.

Calling a hotdog a sandwich belongs on that list.

It's Time to go to Work

The obvious omission has been corrected!

If you're reading the above post and thinking, "is this guy serious?!?," you can safely assume I'm not.

Well, now we know the answer to that scapegoat thread from earlier this month.

Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in bad humor.

What were you thinking asking this question so close to the season opener? That's like asking your fiance how many sexual partners they've had right before the wedding.

Fortunately, they both agreed. But this could have gotten very ugly... Imagine if Fuente had said Pie and Foster cake! They might have had to part ways. Come to think of it, maybe Bud only said to red velvet cake after hearing Fu's response in order to maintain team chemistry (or to keep his job).

Sorry man, gotta question your team loyalty on this one. Maybe you're a Hoo or M'neer trying to ruin our season!

Oof.

You done fucked up now.

You're the only ones that I can talk to about this, you guys.

Even though two wrongs don't make a right, I think they'll still be alright with both saying cake.

If you're reading the above post and thinking, "is this guy serious?!?," you can safely assume I'm not.

Overheard at the ACC Coaches' Dinner:

"Just a decaf for me." - BM

You're the only ones that I can talk to about this, you guys.

I now love Bud and Justin even MORE. SWEET SWEET VICTORY!!!!!

Like Fuente and Foster are going to tell you the truth right before the start of the season. It's all subterfuge. They tell you that they are Team Cake, fully expecting this info to make it to the WVa coaching staff. WVa thinks they have found a weakness so they use a bunch of different pictures of cakes on those big play-calling cards that they hold up on the sidelines to try to get into Fuente's and Foster's heads. As soon as our guys see that, they know that they already have the game won because the WVa coaching staff has shown how desperate they have become, putting all of their chips into such a small-minded plan. Fuente and Foster go on to obliterate WVa and cap the night off with a celebratory pie, all the while laughing at how this entire time Holgerson was playing checkers and VT was playing three-dimensional chess.

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

I guess I'd rather have a good coach than someone who can pick a dessert.

This guy also struggled with dessert, but was great for the football program.

Struggled? The man is team milkshake. Team Milkshake does not struggle.

Unless you have digestive issues with dairy... then you struggle on team milkshake.

I'll refer you back to the gif.

In that particular moment, he's struggling.

Me showing up to this thread after fighting the vicious pie lovers for too long.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

To sum up my thoughts on the whole cake v pie debate that I've watched from the sidelines all these years.....

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

because some of us have principles

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

I've given it a lot of thought as well, and I have decided on beef jerky.

@hokie_rd

I've unsuccessfully tried in the past to establish #teamsaltysnack. Y'all keep your diabetes, gimme that heart disease.

"That kid you're talking to right there, I think he played his nuts off! And you can quote me on that shit!" -Bud Foster

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

I feel betrayed...where's the peanut butter!?!?!?

#TeamPeanutButter - because your cakes, pies, cookies, and ice creams are better with it!

All those vick-hating-dog-lovers might have an answer for you

EDIT: Edited for clarity

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

message received, no jokes about people who really love dogs and peanut butter

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

And then you have people who have no idea how Michael Vick ties in with peanut butter at all, so your "joke" doesn't really appear as such... not that I'm one of the downvotes, but I'm sure that isn't helping.

Or maybe people have forgotten the movie 'Road Trip'...at least that's what I took the comment to be towards.

#TeamPeanutButter - because your cakes, pies, cookies, and ice creams are better with it!

RIP

Both him and the Cardinals' sponsor

It's a shame I know this clip better from the beer commercials.

Although those were some great commercials.

#thingsiblamethemvsfor

Not a true test without team burrito being represented. Given the choice they would've both gone burrito I am certain

Burrito vs. cake vs. pie?

Not even a fair fight, burrito all day erryday

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

ugh, let's keep it SFW shall we?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

No joke, had me looking over that gif closely to see what I had missed that was NSFW, lol

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Different category.

Otherwise, I'm team Filet Mignon.

Team ribeye all day. Bring it mister fancy pants.

Sometimes I like to leave off the /s just to mess with people.

I'm perfectly fine with that.

In fact, I'd happily be on team ribeye if there were no filet mignon.

Filet mignon burrito***

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Is it a Moe's burrito, a Chipotle burrito or a Qdoba burrrito?

*ducks*

Ah shit, here we go

I can confirm the ENTIRE staff is Carol Lee's fans. I brought in 2 dozen and Vance Vice, Fuente, Foster and numerous support staff made a point to tell me how much they love them.

Wet stuff on the red stuff.

Join us in the Key Players Club

#TeamDoughnut represent

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

I suppose today it's #TeamEclipseDonut.

and donuts, just like cookies, are members of #TeamCake

“I remember Lee Corso's car didn't get out of the parking lot.” -cFB

sweet, delicious, fried cake

Obviously, this is just a clever bit of disinformation intended to confuse the 'eers.

"Those who jump into the void owe no explanation to those who stand and watch."
--unknown

He doesn't need help, he's already confused. He thought they had the Black Diamond Trophy.

“I turned down 12 other opportunities. You know what I mean?” - Fuente

Holy fuck you guys started a thread over this?

It has its own category in the membership profile and you are surprised it got a thread? This might be the only divisive topic allowed on TKP, of course it gets a thread! Someone phone Buzz Williams! He is totally a PIE GUY!

Come to Blacksburg and see what the Hokie Pokie is really all about

Can confirm, Buzz is a pie guy.

Long time listener...first time poster

TKP Harder... Besides its the off season.

I don't know why this surprises you

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

We had one earlier about the ACC as automobiles if you would like suggestions on further threads to explore.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

The ACC as cast members of fast and the furious?
The ACC as bands?
The ACC elements on the periodic table?
The ACC as musical keys/time signatures?

I'm already thinking of ideas for next offseason

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Oh I know and that's a great one. I'm just always a fan of the Something as something lists. It's fun to see the reasoning behind them.

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Justin Fuente and Bud Foster believe that they can have their cake and eat it too

As long as the wife doesn't turn on the Bravo network while I'm home, and within reach of a hammer, i don't care what's for dessert.

Last time I checked the saying was "AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE"!!!

Let them eat cake.

I'm pretty sure they beheaded her for that suggestion.

Just sayin'. No one's ever been beheaded for suggesting pie.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used."
- The BoD

They win us a National Championship, they'll be eating pie. I'll personally buy it for the whole dang team.

Why would you give them something they don't want?

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Foster probably was like "Ok I would choose Cake, if and only if I am not already full off the raw carcasses of anybody foolish enough to get in my way."

Man you pie eaters are using every kind of coping mechanism you can think of.

Calvin seems to explain your mentality best.

Sometimes I like to leave off the /s just to mess with people.

Where does Cobbler fit into this discussion? And yes a scoop of vanilla ice cream will be served on top.

Cobbler is team pie, though I'm not sure if pie is cobbler in a crust or if cobbler is just pie without a crust. For the record, we also claim crisps.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Do you just want to claim most dessert foods in a desperate attempt to be associated with something better than pie? I mean you can still claim cannolis, creme brulee, and jello if you'd like.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Wouldn't creme brule be team ice cream. Both are cream based desserts eaten out of a dish with a spoon

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

Doesn't matter to team pie. In this time, they've claimed twinkies and hohos.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Fine we'll do whatever it takes to appease team pie. What's the worst they can do, invade Poland?

Here lies It's a Stroman Jersey I Swear, surpassed in life by no one because he intercepted it.

twinkies and hohos are team cake, to their everlasting shame. Everyone knows that.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Considering one of the steps of making cobbler or crisp is "make pie filling" (for higher quality) or "open can of pie filling" (for lower quality), I don't think I'm too off base here. It's like Mexican food: just because a taco, burrito, enchilada, or whatever is in a slightly different form, it doesn't change that it's all made from the same ingredients and is therefore still Mexican food.

Your attempts to defend cake have gone from mildly annoying to just plain pathetic. I don't mind if you prefer cake (you are entitled to eat whatever crappy dessert you like), just stop trying to defend it.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

I'm sorry I stick to one dessert. I wasn't even defending cake to be honest. We have the high ground.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

If cake is so great, why is pie, and not cake, a euphemism for what most men and some women really want?

Have you ever heard of a cake chart? Of course not. People use pie charts because everyone understands wanting a piece of the pie and knowing how big their slice is.

Most famous phrase involving pie, "as American as apple pie."

Most famous phrase involving cake, "let them eat cake." A phrase uttered by some spoiled French bitch indifferent to the suffering of the common people who was talking about poor people who had no bread to eat. That's right, she was suggesting cake as a consolation prize for bread.

In summary, Team cake is full of hot air, just like cake itself.

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."
-Ron Swanson

"11-0, bro"
-Hunter Carpenter (probably)

spoiled French bitch

So what you're trying to say is that LOLUVa is Team Cake?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..