Extremely Biased Previews: The 2019 ACC Tournament (From Reddit)

Game #5 - No. 5 Virginia "Channeling the power of Metallica" Tech vs. No. 12 University of "Channeling the power of Pitbull" Miami: Due to a freak accident involving a pineapple and the VTCRI Shuttle, four more VT players will be forced to sit out. This leaves Tech to start the game at a 4v5 disadvantage. Buzz Williams smirks and mutters to himself "Guess the game's even now." Down six at the half, Kerry Blackshear sprains his knee in Zion-like fashion after his shoe implodes walking to the locker room. Despite the increasingly growing odds and constant injures taking places during the game, walk-on Brendan Palmer is the lone gobbler standing for Tech in a seemingly impossible 1v5 matchup. Not only does he single-handedly climb out of a 10 point deficit, he also make the game winning buzzer beater to the shock of the entire crowd. The Hokie Club fundraises a statue on campus in his honor.

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Comments

Probably the best part of this whole article:

Finals: Zion "Zion Williamson" Williamson vs. His Next Victim: Zion dunks on everyone, even his own teammates, and grows a foot taller. He goes on an unstoppable rampage and dunks on the entire crowd. Every employee that works for ESPN simultaneously moans in pleasure. He doesn't hear the final buzzer and continuously grows. Zion Williamson is now the size of a skyscraper and has gained the ability to breath fire. His shoes rip again so he destroys a nearby Nike Factory Store in a fit of Zion-fueled anger. The US military tries and fails to calm him down. Zion is bored. He swims to Japan to dunk on Godzilla. He succeeds. Zion gained 69,696,969 experience points. Nice. Zion has leveled up to level nonillion. He is now so massive that he can use the Earth as a basketball. Zion uses the sun to heat up his Bojangles 12 piece Chicken Supreme box. It's Bo Time! Zion travels through other galaxies in search of competition and accidentally dunks on the fabric of space and time. This creates a Zion Williamson-shaped black hole that destroys everything. Everything except Zion. There is no god. Only Zion Williamson.

“THE CUP IS GOING NOWHERE MIKEY!!! THEY DID IT SOMEHOW!!”

Oh no, he's about to perform Charles Barkley's Chaos Dunk!

The Hokie Club fundraising the statue was the most unbelievable part of that story

Recruit Prosim

Dang beat me to this comment

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Talk about jumping the shark

Took the words right off of my keyboard. Leg.

If you're not sure if my comment warrants a "/s", it probably does.

Wow. How can you type with a keyboard that looks like that?

Do you stare at your keyboard when you type?

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

No. I was just being sarcastic and a smartass. LancerHokie will tell you it is pretty common.

no joke, I had an old coworker who had worn the letters off her keyboard. She thought it gave her job security because her back up had to hunt and peck, but she could touch type...she got laid off and they got her backup a new keyboard.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

here, you can have them back:
Insert
Delete
Home
End
Page Up
Page Down
Print Screen
Scroll Lock
Pause/Break
Num Lock
Enter
Caps Lock
Shift
Tab
Backspace

I think that's all of them. The rest are just numbers and letters so you should be good.

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..