Halfwits and Wagers: Ohio State

Prognosticators. Pundits. Sharps. Squares. Idiots. Call us whatever you'd like. We figured what better place to toss around harebrained opinions loosely based on factual evidence and statistics than The Key Play? This season, Brian and I will be previewing each game around betting lines — both real and made up.

If you haven't already heard, the Virginia Tech Hokies will be opening up the 2015 season at home against the defending national champion Ohio State Buckeyes on Labor Day night. A month after the Buckeyes clinched their first national title since the Maurice Clarrett era, the odds for the opening week tilt with the Hokies opened at OSU -19. While the spread has slowly edged lower and lower in favor of the good guys, "Vegas" looks to be holding firm at a minimum two-score differential heading into Monday night.

You all know the story with Ohio State. Four key players — including top NFL prospect DE Joey Bosa &mdash suspended for the opener. Talented wideout Noah Brown lost for the season two weeks before kickoff. Three Two potential starting quarterbacks. An extremely talented running back. Urban Meyer's spread-based attack. A more mature, simpatico offensive line. A nasty defense. Depth. Talent. An entitled fanbase. A recipe for disaster, if you're a Hokies fan, right? Well, we all know how that shook out last season...

How will the Hokies fare against the "vaunted Ohio State defense?" How will Urban Meyer's attack fare against Bud Foster's defensive unit? How will Hokie Nation fare if Enter Sandman sees some added flavor? Time to toss around some thoughts and make some bad decisions. On to the lines!

Over/Under 250 Rushing Yards for the Ohio State Offense

Brian: This all depends on who you think will play quarterback for the Buckeyes. One would assume that J.T. Barrett would throw the ball less than Cardale Jones (although with Urban Meyer you never know). I think Barrett plays the whole game, and I think this hits the over. I know the Hokies held them to 108 yards last year, but this is an entirely different OSU team. I think they'll move the ball much better than in 2014.

Pierson: Over, but barely. After Virginia Tech held the Buckeyes to 108 rushing yards last September, Ohio State ran for 250-plus in all but 3 games to close out the season. The suspensions and injuries to most of the receiving options creates uncertainty, but it's not like they don't have talent waiting in the wings (unless of course their youngsters have a case of the drops similar to the Hokies' performance against Alabama two years ago). I think Urban will have his quarterback(s) air it out, but I expect the spread option system we see Monday night to be favoring the run behind Ezekiel Elliott & Co.

True or False? J.T. Barrett, Cardale Jones and Braxton Miller will each attempt at least one pass.

Brian: Faaaaaalse, no way Urban gets that creative. Don't get me wrong, I think he wants to break 100 this game, but I don't think he'll do it with trick plays. And as I mentioned above, I'm not sure we'll see both quarterbacks once the final decision has been made. But also, Braxton Miller has spent months tirelessly getting prepared to play a position other than quarterback. His head coach is such a disgustingly prepared tactician that he may just want to make you think that his former Heisman finalist could throw it every time he touches the ball, but never actually do it.

Pierson: True. Here's why: (1) Meyer is going to try and pull out all the stops after the whoopin' Bud's D laid on the Buckeyes last year, and I think one of those plays results in a Braxton Miller pass; (2) While I think Barrett gets the majority of the snaps, it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if Jones gets a series if Barrett struggles in the first half. This would be ridiculous — I honestly just spent 10 minutes trying to talk myself out of writing "true" on account of how preposterous it sounds — but after spending 8 months waiting for this game, ridiculous seems logical at this point...

Over/Under 4.5 Sacks for VT Defense.

Brian: Over. I'm not exactly sure how Bud will do it, but I do know that we'll see a lot of the front four as well as a lot of Deon Clark in that backfield. Again this all goes down the tubes if the Buckeyes run the ball 75 times, but assuming that they'll have to drop back eventually Dadi and company will be back there too.

Pierson: Over. Despite all of the talk from the OSU faithful, I'm taking our defensive line over their offensive line until proven otherwise. Combine that fearsome foursome with sporadic blitzing from the secondary and Deon Clarke off the edge, and I think we see at least 5 sacks.

Over/Under 1.5 Touchdowns for Bucky Hodges.

Brian: Probably under. It really all depends on what Scot Loeffler's plan is when his unit gets inside the twenty, and how many times they do so. Bucky will have the chance to score twice, but I think it's a much more likely that he ends the night with zero touchdowns than a pair of them.

Pierson: Under. Warning! Obligatory Jimmy Graham Comparison Incoming! We have to treat every game this season the same way you approach your fantasy team with Jimmy Graham, right? You expect Bucky to score at least one touchdown each week so you can bank your 15 points and spend the rest of your time stressing out over that last minute decision you made at running back. So pencil me in for one Temuchin touchdown, but the second one is a little tougher to stand behind. Don't get me wrong, I'm of the opinion you throw jump balls to him every time you're inside the five. I'm accounting for the Loeffler Factor, which means he will think they think he's throwing to Bucky, so he will make it look like he's throwing to Bucky, but then maybe he should throw to Bucky because they'll think he thinks they think he's throwing to Bucky, but then what if they think he thinks they think he thinks they think he's throwing to Bucky...I have a headache. You get the idea.

Over/Under 0.5 Non-Offensive Touchdowns.

Brian: Over. Each team gets one. If I had to guess, Travon McMillian or Greg Stroman take a kick back and the Buckeyes pick Brewer off and bring it home for six. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Ohio State scores two themselves. Remember, Tech is going to have to use a lot of new guys on their coverage teams, which could spell disaster.

Pierson: Over. Who scores? I have no idea. Admittedly, I'm scarred by Christion Jones and the Alabama game. That can't happen again, right? Right?! I feel confident that one of our young burners — either Stroman or McMillian — has a big return. Simply put, big games on big stages during the first week of the season means you've got a lot of nervous kids out there (especially on special teams), and chances are high someone busts an assignment or makes a fatal mistake.

Who Finishes With the Most Carries for the Hokies?

Brian: As much as I would love the J.C. Coleman experience to continue after his, let's just call it surprising, finish to 2014, I think we all know that Trey Edmunds ends up the bell cow, at least in week one. Everyone I know who's watched practice thus far has said that Edmunds looks like a machine, and the best back available for Labor Day. It wouldn't surprise me all that much, though, if McMillian ended up as the leading rusher simply by breaking off a single long one.

(No, my expectations for the Hokies' rushing performance is not very high.)

Pierson: Excuse me while I go spin my miniature Shane Beamer running back carousel...I'm going to go with Trey Edmunds. I think he's got the make-up to handle the larger workload, and I think his game matches up well against the Buckeyes. With all that being said, I'm really looking forward to seeing what Travon McMillian can do with the carries he (hopefully) gets. I think he has the ability to be an x-factor come Monday.

Over/Under 10.5 Shots On the ESPN Feed of Frank Beamer Fiddling With His Nose.

Brian: Hard over. Hard. It's a big game, which means two different things: 1. roughly 145 in-game time outs. 2. A billion shots of both coaches with infographics. Are you trying to tell me that Frank Beamer, king of the snot rocket, won't get caught picking his nose over ten times?

LOCK THIS UP.

Pierson: NO YOU LOCK IT UP! Over. I have a co-worker who has a nervous tick of sorts that causes him to sniffle. He sniffles incessantly when he gets worked up, and he's a proud Italian from New Jersey, so you can imagine how often the needle passes into the red. Maybe Frank suffers from a similar affliction. Maybe he just needs a nose trimmer to take care of all of those party favor hairs older gentlemen regenerate at warp speed. Whatever it is, you can bet your kid's college fund that every time ESPN needs a Frank shot where he's not bent out of shape because of a holding call, he's going to the schnoz.

Matchup Over/Under: 53 Points

Brian: Over, and I think I may actually bet this one in real life. Last year's game felt like a defensive slugfest, and they still beat this over (by a point, but still). It's the first game of the year, coverages will break down and there will be other lapses that lead to points. There will definitely be more scoring than Tech fans would be comfortable with, and it will probably take at least 35 points for either side to win.

Pierson: Over. I think this will be an absolute slugfest, but given the stage and aforementioned nerves, points will be there for the taking. The Hokies' defense is superb, but we've been prone to the big play in recent years and Ohio State's offense is built for big plays. Along a parallel track, I feel confident that our offense has the weapons necessary to put points on the board. In summary: Points.

Spread: Ohio State (-12)

Brian: Last year I picked the Buckeyes (11 point favorites) to cover at home. Now both teams are better, and the game is in Blacksburg. I think that Urban Meyer's merry band of five-stars ends up winning by two scores, anywhere between 10 and 14. So I'll say the cover, despite the amount of effort the Hokies throw into this one.

(Side note: I'm absolutely not reverse jinxing them. At all. No way. I really, truly believe that. What's a reverse jinx anyway?)

Pierson: Coming into this game, the focus has been on the Hokie defense versus the Buckeye offense. Despite last year's herculean defensive performance by the good guys, Urban's crew still managed to put up 21 points. In short, Ohio State is going to score points regardless of how lights out the D plays. To me, the bigger question is how well our offense plays against their talented (and seemingly forgotten) defense. The Hokies' talented youngsters have grown up considerably since the last time these two teams met, which gives me a lot of confidence that they can stand up to the challenge.

If I were betting on this game — which I'm not, because (A) it would break my personal rule of betting on my favorite team(s) and (B) we're not promoting gambling or anything — and the line moved below Ohio State minus-13, I would take the points in a heartbeat. Once the game creeps over 13.5, I would consider putting my money on the Buckeyes. Not because I don't believe the Hokies will win, but because — barring any major injuries or suspensions — I expect the line to move north between now and Monday as the sharps start betting at the lower spread. If we're removing our hearts from the equation here and talking value at OSU (-12), I would take Virginia Tech and the points.

True or False? Metallica shocks the world and plays Enter Sandman, live, to lead the Hokies out of the tunnel.

Brian: Probably false. But you know what? Give it to me. WHIT BABCOCK IS A MAN OF MIRACLES AND HE GETS THIS DONE TOO.

Pierson: For years, after every "Enter Sandman" entrance, I've been "that guy" who mutters to their buddy, "Gosh, when are they going to be able to get Metallica to play this live?" If there was EVER an opportunity for it to happen, it would be on Labor Day night. The stars have aligned perfectly: ESPN and College Gameday (Light) will be there for a primetime matchup featuring the defending national champions during a perfectly time hiatus in Metallica's international tour. America has seen ESPN produce the Hokies' entrance a number of different ways. The only way that you can take it to the next level is to have James Hetfield & Co. appear on the northwest lawn, directly above the tunnel and start strumming the greatest guitar riff in college football. Do I think it happens? Sadly, no. Do I hope it does? Absolutely. If it does...welp...someone better check the local Richter Scale in the morning.

Disclaimer: Some of these are real betting lines, but many of them are fake and none of this is real advice that should be taken seriously.