This might be craziest story this season.
Texas Special Teams coach had a tricker treater bitten by a monkey that belonged to his stripper girlfriend. The way things are, this will probably help their recruiting. Check it out:
https://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2021/11/2/22759273/monkey-texa...
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Comments
good thing the monkey didn't belong to Ricky Aguayo. RIP Turntle
#NeverForget
#JusticeForTurntle
His stripper girlfriend who he left his wife and kids for. Who calls herself "Pole Assassin".
The more you read, the better it gets.
Freeze looking for his next staff hire.
You and I have different definitions of "better"
Who are you, the schadenfreude police?
Oh, no, I very much support and enjoy schadenfreude. Cringe is somewhat different
It's not our cringe though. At this point, that's all that really matters to me.
Here a not-that-NSFW vid of their act: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CVyTZ7SFUX0/?utm_medium=copy_link
Here a good time for some basic reminders about monkeys and safety:
Even domesticated monkeys are still dangerous. When you smile at monkey, they consider it a threat as you are baring your teeth. They may be prompted to attack.
They also are hierarchical in nature and any new person is considered a challenge to their status and this may prompt an attack.
Therefore, smiling strangers are perceived as a threat.
God, I love TKP.
I knew this because: Dwight Schrute. LOL
Two reasons to post this. First it applies. Second I will take any reason to post a gif with Andie MacDowell.
I told my wife about this when I saw it earlier, and now I have just been saying pole assassin all night randomly.
Edit: autocorrect, damn you
That is exactly the sign I expected to be on the gate in the video. Was not disappointed.
This still isn't as bad as Scott or whatever coach we had that was sleeping around on our company time.
I mean you can't spend 100% of your time recruiting
And 100% of recruiting is about convincing the moms.
And convince moms he did... technically.
Whew...good to know bagmen and NIL's aren't a factor.
Maybe he heard about TGray not saying "hi" to mom and simply overcorrected?
...big time.
VT has really struggled to find the right balance with recruiting Moms lately, haven't we?
We need to find someone who knows where the middle ground is.
Smile. Say, "Hello, Ms./Mrs. xxxx." Tell her her brisket is the best you've ever had even if it drys your mouth out like MRE crackers. Assure her you're going to take care of Junior. Kid signs that LOI.
It's not that
hard* difficult.*Nothing should be hard. Learn from others' past mistakes, dammit.
No publicity is bad publicity....
I know they're rabid for football down in Texas, but this is getting ridiculous
I know we're on the Costa Concordia right now, but at least its not the Lusitania, amirite?
Wait a second... I thought George's wife died from licking every single wedding invitation envelope instead of using a damp cloth like a normal person would. When did they ever figure out that the glue was toxic? Or was it simply toxic in mass quantities?
It was toxic? How much time do I have?
I think Texas may be trying a bit too hard to prove they fit into the SEC.
This is the kind of thing you'd expect to see on the Smoking Gun website out of Florida. This is Florida level crazy.
Pole Assassin. Now I can't play my Atari or watch Antonio Banderas movies anymore. Thanks, Longhorns!
"a lot of monkey business"
that is too good
Galen Scott must be taking notes on this whole caper
Like he needs ideas.
He could probably write a chapter.
What a long, strange trip it's been.
We need to write clear expectations for Mom relations in the contract for the DB coach moving forward. We have witnessed two extremes that didn't work out well.
bad karma...really bad karma
I think most here would welcome that sort of Karma if it could trigger "with cause" haha
Nah, it's not Karma
She's stripping in Vegas.
Plus, we're good
You need to work on
Your haiku syllable count
Your numbers are off
Um, yeah I think we have the craziest story this season.
Should be some great fun watching this one from the sidelines.