A moment

Hey, you coming to the spring game this weekend? Our normal Lot 18 crew should be up on Chicken Hill.

Echoing this. My dad passed in 2004 and mom in 2011 (and both brothers in 2012). Make every minute count-you never know which will be your last chance.. Below is an excerpt rom something I wrote shortly after my mom passed. Maybe it will help you or someone else. Prayers for you and all your family.

Alas, those plans were not to be fulfilled; the weekend of April 17th was the last we had with her while she was still lucid. I had spent Saturday evening watching John Wayne in "The Quiet Man" (one of she and my dad's favorite movies) and then listening to Christian hymns together until 130 in the morning before stumbling off to sleep. I had asked her that night if she was scared of dying and she told me that she was at peace and had been blessed with her kids and grandkids. Late Sunday evening she called my sister to her room and told her she was having trouble breathing and we called the paramedics. She almost died that night in the ER and eventually after a little over a week in the hospital, she slipped away peacefully having seemingly waited for some last minute details to be taken care of before bidding this world farewell.

Those days in the hospital and the following days of making final arrangements were the most difficult I have ever experienced. When my dad died, we still had my mother to lean on for support and she was a rock for all of us. This time, though, it was just us kids-we had become the older generation struggling to be the support for each other and our own kids, while trying to maintain our own composure, too. The love and support of friends-not only in those final days but over the last six months as we knew the day would inevitably come-were lifelines to hold onto as the swirling waters of despair threatened to overwhelm me. Even now, just 10 days after the funeral-a time that seems both ancient history and moments ago at the same time-I know that they are there for me. I can let myself feel the grief and sadness of the loss without embarrassment and without worrying about being lost there forever. I know the wounds will heal eventually but the tears and pain are a necessary part of the healing process, too.

I also know that it is OK to feel happy, too. It is not betraying them or their memory to laugh and enjoy the good things that continue to be a part of our lives as well. Life necessarily goes on and though, with time, the memories of these past few months will fade, they will not vanish. The influence of parents on their children and grandchildren is immeasurable. Each of us is a product of our experiences and how we react to them and it is how we are raised by our parents that helps determine the values we live our lives by even after they are gone. Though we may not still feel their physical presence as we wish we could, they both live on in our hearts and in the way we live our lives. Help me to honor them in everything I do and help the next generation to remember them as well. May each of us treat each other as we would if they were sitting in the room with us.

That high wire act I mentioned at the beginning continues. Though it may seem as if I am walking the rope without a net and no apparent means of support, it is an illusion. The reality is that I am surrounded by friends and family who care for me, encouraging me when I stumble and cheering me on when I succeed. And the parents I miss so much are not as far away as they seem-all I have to do is think of them and their prayers lift me up.

I wrote about a song that expresses some of the same thoughts

.......post about writing a note of thanks to someone who had made a difference in your life. I thought of the below song by Trans-Siberian Orchestra called "Someday". The link is to a live concert video of Kayla Reeves a young 23 year old blues singer who conveys a tremendous amount of raw emotion into this song about a daughter reminiscing about her parents who have passed on. It is a lament of not telling people how you feel about them while they are still around and alive to hear it. As one who has relatively recently experienced the loss of both parents as well as both of my two brothers within a short time frame, the message hits home with a particular poignancy for me. One line in particular stands out:

"Do words unsaid ever really count?"

We often forget that on any given day, we are not promised that we or our loved ones will see tomorrow. We often, as the song says, figure "I'll have to tell them.....Someday".
Well for some of us that "someday" will never happen on this earth and that is a true tragedy that is within our power to prevent. Please think about the people in your life who have meant and do mean the most to you and be sure to TELL them how much they mean to you...not tomorrow or next week or next year....but RIGHT NOW. Best yet, put it in writing along with telling them as then they will always have that to look back on in future years when we have moved or passed on.

These words were especially poignant for me as for several years before his death, I was not as attentive as I should have been to my dad. He had gone into an unconscious state the week he died and I wrote the below letter to him. In order to handle some estate issues, my mom had to have him brought to a lucid state and while in this state, she read him my letter. She later told me they both openly wept as she read it to him. Later that week after he passed, I read it at his funeral service(one of the hardest things I ever did)

Dear Dad,
I've been meaning to write this letter for the last several years but one thing or another always got in the way. Events over the last week prompted me to make sure I finished it this time.

I wanted you to know what a powerful positive role model you have been for me. Whenever I encounter a situation and need guidance, I can look to your example of what a husband, a father, a man should be. The way you treat people whether they are your subordinates, your peers, or your bosses is always the same – gracious respect and genuine concern.

As far as personal integrity, I could ask for no greater honor than to bear the name "(redacted for privacy)'. I hope that others feel the same way about me and my word as they do about you and yours. Everyone knows that if you say you will do something then they can count on it

As far as marriage and the way to treat your wife, I have only known one other couple that approaches the example you and Mother set(that would be my wife's grandparents). The way that each of you gives 100% to each other has always been what I have strived for with my wife. I can only hope to follow in your footsteps in achieving the longevity in marriage and more importantly in friendship with my spouse as you have with yours.


In dealing with children, while we may have some varying opinions on some details, I have tried to achieve the same success you had in raising the seven of us. While some of our spouses might occasionally disagree, I think we largely turned out ok.

I hope that years from now, my children's children will be able to say that I am half the man that their great grandfather was. You have been and always will be the man I admire and love the most and the best example of what it means to be a man, a husband, and a father. I love you with all of my heart and thank God for the honor of being your son.
Love,

I urge each of us to not wait til "Someday"