I was nominated by HightyTighty. So, here goes nothing.
I have always absolutely hated talking about myself unprompted. So, this intro is going to be brief. I don't have any qualms answering any questions you all have, though.
• Born in Blacksburg. So, I've been a Hokie since day 1. Raised on the other side of the mountain in Giles.
• 2016 Geography grad. But don't let the date fool you. I graduated at 33 after the Army.
• Currently a GIS Program Manager for local government outside of Nashville.
• I enjoy skinny-skiing, going to bullfights on acid, and going to Hokie football games while taking swigs of whisk(e)y out of my ass pocket.
• I don't like to boast, but I have finished a tube of chapstick without losing it. ...twice.
• No kids. Just two dogs that currently reside with (soon-to-be-former) Mrs. APFOW. Definitely miss their derp asses.
Fire away!
Comments
Well fuck, is everybody getting divorced?
All the cool kids are doing it.
2024 TKP Divorcees trip?
And for some reason it's the GIS guys? What the heck?
Maybe because the S is for stress.
Wow. That was definitely the case in school, but I've found local government GIS to be free of the typical pitfalls that a stressful job has. I'd say my experience with GIS has been more frustrating than stressful. But that's just concentrated on dealing with the technology. Now I've had a historically bad boss which caused things to get stressful. But I say historically because she was so bad she got herself fired from a local government department head job for incompetence. When does that happen?
I've always considered myself lucky to have landed good jobs with good people and so I dodged a lot of crap that many people have to deal with, you included, APFOW.
You and I are long overdue for a beer, sir.
My mom lives in Mt. Juliet but I rarely get out to see her. I'm a terrible son. But yeah, we've been talking about getting out that way soon and if I do I'll definitely hit you up.
You should do that very thing.
I served or worked with enough dudes in the Army or the oilfields to know I best tread carefully in that department. That's the world we live in now.
No Fault Divorce will get after ya. I'm a millennial, but I already know guys--in my age group--on their second or third marriage. Fun!
Which whiskey is in that ass pocket?
Goddammit Egbert, I nominated him specifically to ask this question!
Follow on, do you keep/drink whiskey in/from other pockets?
Additionally - are there any other locations where you keep/drink whiskey, or are you exclusive with the ass/other pockets?
Has there ever been a situation that has called for two ass pockets full of whiskey? If so, describe the circumstances and any lessons learned.
Currently, Eagle Rare.
🙏🙏🙏
I love Eagle Rare. It's really the perfect whiskey in my somewhat uneducated opinion
Now if only we could get this damn bourbon to be a non lottery/drop bourbon
It's beyond ridiculous at this point. Allocated bourbons have gotten out of hand
The unearned hype around some products kills me. I used to pour Blanton's in coke. It's a fine bourbon, but there's better out there for less money and easy to find.
EH Taylor Small batch I don't get at all. It's the exact same juice as Eagle Rare, but younger, and I guarantee if people drank them side by side, they'd prefer Eagle Rare every time. Absolutely not worth camping out in an ABC store parking lot to try and get. But half these people don't even drink the stuff, they just flip it.
Blanton's and Baysil Hayden are big offenders. Are they solid (-ish)? Yeah definitely. But people get crazy for the letters on Blanton's bottles and BH is way more expensive than it should be for what it provides on the palate
I didn't realize how expensive Basil Hayden's was till recently. 80 bucks for 80 proof? Insane. I can just water down some Knob Creek and get the same result.
I have two bottles of basil that I won't drink ... so anyone got $160? I might have paid $30 for each of them.
Make friends with a vet. Base package stores routinely get some allocated stuff and just put it on the shelf. Last fall, Eagle Rare was on the shelf for probably 8 weeks straight for like 30 bucks.
Don't often get anything super rare like Pappy or BTAC, but the things you tend to see at VABC drops are available most of the time.
Yea, but the whiskey is in which ass pocket?
Favorite GIS/Geography class? I was a '14 Geography grad. May have crossed paths!
Oh man, that's like asking Mama Fuller to pick her favorite child. I feel like the geography department was an embarrassment of riches.
I loved a lot of the classes and professors for very different reasons.
Ken Stiles - for the stories.
Bob Oliver - because, well, he's Bob Oliver
Stewart Scales - because he's just good people.
Lynn Ressler - because her class was interesting and she's passionate about it.
Yang Shao - because if you give him an honest effort, that man will go above and beyond to get you across the line.
I feel like most would say Boyer and World Regions. And, don't get me wrong, it's a fun and interesting class. ...and an easy A if you are present. But, I honestly didn't take anything lasting from it.
My favorite class would be anything Tim Baird teaches. If he taught underwater basket-weaving, I'd jump at the chance, just because he makes you think. I have similar feelings about Bob Oliver.
We may have crossed paths. I actually started at VT in 2009, but then life happened and I had to drop everything for a while. My first semester back was spring 2014.
Favorite place for hot chicken?
Favorite bar(s) in Nashville?
Favorite restaurant(s) in Nashville?
If the government legalized hunting pedal pubs (or whatever you call those loud table bikes full of bridal parties) for sport, how much should a license cost?
If you could remove one school from existence, which one and why?
Well, I hate to disappoint, but I have been to Nashville exactly once since moving down here. And that was for a medical procedure. So, I will have to defer until later the first three questions.
I dunno, but I feel that for the bridal parties, in particular, it would have to be pretty pricey, simply because of demand.
Biberty. Biberty a thousand times over. Burn it to the ground and nuke the ashes.
As a native of Lynchburg, I can't agree to this more.
First concert?
Best concert?
Movie you've seen the most times?
Musical artist/group you like that most people do not like?
I hope everything is going well for you in TN. I had no idea it was one of those new life chapter situations. Don't hesitate to shoot me an email for any reason.
First proper concert that wasn't someone performing at a fair or something was Sheryl Crow at VT.
Favorite concert: Trampled by Turtles at The Jefferson in Charlottesville. Small venue and they blew the doors off.
I have to think about musician that others don't like. Nothing is coming to mind at the moment.
Oh, it definitely is the start of a new chapter. I've been meaning to email you, man, but I have been slammed. When people have asked me how the new gig is going I have described it this way, "I'm a million times more stressed than I was in my previous position. But I feel better about it." I don't know if that makes any sense, but it's the truth.
Absolutely understand this!!! Been at my job for about 18 mo now and it's the same thing. The stress is good work stress -- interesting projects blowing up and becoming high visibility to tippy top of upper management, getting an awesome new boss, etc. Last job all the stress was bc i was micromanaged and being forced to waste my time on low value work -- but i also had large swaths of time to browse tkp/twitter/reddit/fb/ig, play catan online, etc
Finally got to see Trampled at Floydfest last year. Man they are awesome live.
Since you hate taking about yourself, do you find it hard to sell yourself to people st work, or to women, or to potential friends, etc. I had a hard time at an early job because I didn't sell myself and my boss didn't either, which has taken me a decade to catch up with perceptions to get paid like I should have been. Do you have to work at stuff like that?
It's mainly the cold open that gets me. I'm much better when prompted and responding. I tend to let things speak for themselves a lot of the time, but I have a problem selling myself at work as well. It's been to my detriment in the workplace for sure.
Being someone like that myself, I just always tried to learn what everyone around me did and asked them how. "Hey what are you doing? How do you do that? Can I try?". You can end up being the indispensable person because you can do so many different things and see how the different positions/functions work together. I have worked in almost all the different areas of the company I have been employed with now for 30 years, and every single position I got after starting as a temp was because someone came to me and said "come work for me(my department)". Be willing to try anything, look for ways to do it better/more efficiently and people will notice!
A few years back I made you aware there was an RL Burnside album that shares your name. Did you listen to it? It's not his best. burnside on Burnside is killer.
Why is everyone from Giles obsessed with the cinnamon rolls from the WV state fair? Ben Ellen doughnuts are far superior.
I have and I dig it.
Granted, I haven't been to the WV state fair in years, but I don't recall anyone going on about the cinnamon rolls.
+1 for RL Burnside!
What is the best variety of pie?
Do you mean between sweet and savory?
I mean which flavor specifically. You are having pie this afternoon and may choose from any and all varieties. Which are you choosing?
My aunt's pecan pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Hard to beat a good pecan pie. I hope it has some bourbon in it saves you from pulling out the flask.
Of course, it is the ice cream that really puts things over the top!
Is anti-ginger discrimination real in your experience or is it just tongue-in-cheek joking
A dash of the former, but mostly the latter.
Soundtrack to your life?
Favorite food?
Favorite meal?
Eliminate 1 breakfast, lunch, dinner. Explain.
Favorite tailgate food?
Mountain Music -Alabama, Copperhead Road & Galway Girl - Steve Earl, In Through The Out Door & Houses of the Holy (entire albums) - Led Zeppelin, Band of Gypsys (entire album) - Jimi Hendrix, Hysteria (entire album) - Def Leppard, Jimmy Buffett's entire catalog, Trampled by Turtles' entire catalog
My momma's biscuits and gravy.
Can't go wrong with the Thanksgiving dinner spread.
Well, I damned sure ain't eliminating breakfast. I could eat breakfast for every meal. It would have to be lunch because I rarely eat it anyway.
I know it's blasphemy, but I'm not going to say your hubby's meat. I'm partial to grilled Boar's Head bratwurst with peppers and onions all marinated in PBR for at least 6 hours.
Ron Swanson approves of this comment.
I know Nashville is farther away from Blacksburg than Lynchburg, but are you still coming to visit the fam in Lot 18 sometimes?
Definitely planning on it.
WOOOO!!!!!
Favorite (or, should I say "favorite") psycho ex-fiancé story?
If all forms of whiskey were taken by aliens, what would you switch to drinking?
Hmmm, it's a short story, but definitely psycho. Pretending to be pregnant to keep me from breaking up with her. Then when I said I would stay, magically having already had "a smors smorshion".
You see, you committed one of the classic blunders, not being specific enough when whisk(e)y is on the line. Since the aliens took all of the whiskey, I would just drink whisky. So, Scotch, I'll be having Scotch. I can live with that. But still, "Fuck you, aliens!"
What's your hottest take that won't violate the CGs?
I'm sure I have one, but I'm drawing a blank right now. So, stick a pin in this one.
What's your favorite story to tell?
Thought about this one long and hard. I love telling this story because there's a damned good leadership lesson in it, as well as, how much it can mean to simply give someone a chance. When I was a Specialist (E-4) on active duty, I was a team chief in a Staff Sergeant's (E-6) slot. There was a soldier on my team that outranked me quite a bit, but it's position over rank. This soldier could be compared to Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket, the consummate fuck up. They just could not get right. Which is why I was put in the position above them. Once more, leadership would not get off their back and made a sport of letting them know how fucked up they were at every turn. Now, this person knew their job and knew it well. If you worked closely with them, you knew that. But it's hard to shine when the entire platoon chain of command is kicking dirt in your face every chance they get. I decided to take a different approach. I gave them more responsibility. I pulled them aside, told them I was going to give them more responsibility, that I knew they could do it, and expected them to succeed. Long story short, I got more out of them than anyone in my platoon ever did and they surprised everyone. It wasn't all that radical of a tactic. I mean, fuck, how hard is it to encourage someone instead of castigating them at every turn? But I was damned proud of myself for giving them a chance to show they were more than what everyone thought of them and even prouder of them for proving everyone wrong.
It's pretty wild how humans tend to meet the expectations their given, regardless of how high or low they are. You see this all the time, whether it's in people's careers, on the field/court, in the household, or elsewhere.
Giving someone respect and trust, with clear expectations, can be a powerful combination. Great story!
What are three things you are passionate about and why?
What's the dumbest thing you have ever done?
Whats the nicest thing you have ever done?
What's your favorite sound?
What's your guilty pleasure?
Whats the oddest/strangest thing you have ever seen happen, where you literally said to yourself: 'I cant believe that just happened right in front of me?
If you could remove one thing from existence in the world, what would be? It could be a person past or present, a thing, an emotion, .....anything.
Leaving the Army. Ironically, also almost the smartest thing I've ever done.
Doing absolutely everything within my power to ease someone else's burden when I had the means to do so.
Shitty 80s movies.
Seeing a guy blow himself up attempting to plant an IED. That karma, she'll get after ya.
Greed. But if I could give the entire world one thing, it would be empathy.
On first read, I missed the 'up', and thought to myself "wow, that is a very odd thing to do, at a very strange time." Then I reread it and it made a bit more sense.
Remember "hut-hut-hike!" guy in the upper deck? Hadn't thought about that dork in a few years lol
Yes. He's still there. And you're still a SOB for leaving me with him.
You are transported back to the 1400s and get to choose a position in the court of some European king. What role do you choose (area of responsibility in parentheses) and why? Other is an acceptable answer if explained.
General (army/conquests)
Admiral (navy/exploration)
Foreign Mijister (diplomacy)
Archbishop (religion)
Royal Alchemist (science/magic)
Chief Steward (food/parties)
If I were a general with loyal men, I could become all the others, including the king.
Having lived an hourish east of Nashville for years I know there's a lot of beautiful hiking in Tennessee. Have you been able to find a park or waterfall that stands out to you or is a favorite for your dogs?
Lots of whiskey and beer in and around Nashville, do you have a favorite distillery or brewery in the area?
I haven't done all that much exploring so far. That means I don't have a favorite distillery or brewery yet. Been to Jackson Falls because it's right down the road on Natchez Trace Parkway. If you have suggestions, I'm all ears.
Favorite Bar in Blacksburg?
Best VT Game You've Been To?
Rivermill back when it was more low-key.
Best game is a tough one. Best time I ever had at a VT game was BC to end the undefeated regular season in 1999 before the NC.
Never really spent any time at Rivermill, buds and I were more PKs because it was easy to hit up BK on the stumble back to upper quad. Good choice though.
Unfortunately I didn't become a Hokie fan until I was a student and missed out on the '99 season.
Double post
Who is next? French has agreed to explain what childhood trauma led to his extreme hatred of cheese and cheese themed foods if your don't have anyone else in mind.
Ok by me unless APFOW has someone else in mind. LBT and Kville Hokies are on the side burner but I don't think they're able do it till the end of the week.
I was going to suggest H_ighlander_okie as his penance for leaving me with the hike guy. Not sure if he's available or not.
Highlander- you wanna sit down in the hot seat Wednesday morning? I'll keep French on the side burner list too.
I can, in theory...but it'll likely be a late-ish night response kinda thing with working out of town (low traffic alert).
That's fine- why don't you fire it up tomorrow night then when you have some time.
Y'all aren't keeping your spreadsheets adequately up to date. French has violent physical reactions to digesting cheese, it's not a taste thing (other than all the triggering from previous encounters).
He blames it all on Arby's.
Edit: Nevermind. Should have read all the posts.
It was just a .............post edit for the sake of a story.............He's spilled the beans on this one before.
Edit part 2:
Shit. I can't even remember telling it. The irony is, as a kid I loved Arby's anyway.
Well, pretend like it hasn't been told. I'll even change my previous post so it doesn't SPOIL it for everyone.
How long were you in the Army?
Four years active. Three reserve.
Sorry, guys. It's been a day. I will get back to everything I've missed so far later this evening.
You could say that again! I got a knee brace this morning for a fractured kneecap I suffered in a soccer game yesterday
Haven't gotten my meds from the pharmacy yet so I've been in an uncomfortable amount of pain since about 5 yesterday evening
Two words: Bourbon Rx.
Yeah....put a little alcohol on that.
Hate that for you. I hope you heal up quickly and get those meds soon.
Name 3 things that really grind your gears.
Name 3 people dead or living that you'd like to sit down and have a few drinks with and why.
If money was no object, what's your dream car?
Favorite TV shows when you were a kid?
Sand, self-centered people, middle Tennessee drivers
Carl Sagan because the conversation would be amazing and I would get my learn on. My Papaw. I'll never have enough time with him. Dammit, it's hard to decide on the last spot.
I've never been a big car guy. But 10-year-old me would say a Ferrari F40.
M.A.S.H. reruns with APFOW Sr., The A-Team (still pissed about losing my A-Team van at the river), Knight Rider, Magnum P.I., ALF, The Simpsons, Voltron, Transformers, G.I. Joe, M.A.S.K.
Back when TV was good and not reality garbage.
Oh, you mean the reality shows that really are scripted shows so there really is no reality to them. Hard pass on all that sh...
Sagan is a good one.
Mr. T has lived in that van down by the river since about 1989.
Full disclosure, my youngest son has lived in a van several different times over the last 5 years though I don't think it was by the river.