Dave clawson thinks that qbs aren't protected enough and even touching QBs should be a flag.
Dave clawson is a heifer that is getting milked for the first time and kicks the milk pail spilling all the milk you had for the calf.
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Dave Clawson coached for the Vols.
Dave Clawson spent way too much time trying to come up with a one liner about claws... and couldn't. He's so lame.
That's just clawful. I mean it should totally be against the claw for him to not have a one liner with his own last name.
Dave Clawson gets off to the screams of boiling lobsters.
This is supposed to be the Hatin' on thread.
You're right...Dave Clawson feels so bad after eating the screaming lobsters that he chops his own claws off afterwards. 'Dave 'Clawsoff' then forces the seafood restaurant employees to clean up the blood, micromanaging them the whole time because they're not 'executing the mesh point'.
God I suck.
Dave Clawson anagrams to: Navel Soc Wad
Got to combat the desert jellies somehow.
Maybe he collects the desert jellies from the Wake football shower room?
Dave Clawson was Brent's worst position coach in college because and I quote "that dude just plain smelled like a dirty gym sock that the oline passed around until it was to stiff to wear and you could take any instruction from a guy like that."
Well, that might be the worst indictment of an equipment manager that I've ever read . Like, c'mon, get the guys their own socks.
Why? Socks weigh the same.
Dave Clawson thinks that Justin Fuente is a solid addition to Indiana and will bring the expirence of a head coach with a P5 record better than his own.
Dave Clawson thinks his family are pickle magnates.
Dave Clawson is actually a pickle magnet
Dave Clawson coaches at wake forest
Dave Clawson tell's college aged girls at the bar that he is the heir to the white claw brand.
Dave Clawson tells people he invented the Claw machine modeled on the way he gets chips out of a bowl at a party.
Dave Clawson double dips his chips.
Dave Clawson always drives safely under the speed limit, stops for all yellow lights, waits when a light turns green to be sure the on coming traffic will stop, let's multiple cars in front of him at all merges, and waves excitedly followed by a thumbs up to anyone who honks at him. He only does this because he thinks it's funny to watch others go into road rage.
I rage every time this happens. At some point I am going to get out of my car and explain to the offender why it is wholly inefficient to do.
It will be better if you explain it in a German accent.
Zipper! Zipper!!!
I read that in his voice:
Lack of zipper by drivers in NOVA (usually almost always Maryland drivers) kills me. However, I was talking about the situation where you're waiting to go through a backed up light and when it turns green a car in front of you doesn't proceed and instead lets cars turn right (or even left) in front of them (e.g. coming out of a gas station) which then causes you to miss the light.
Would be really cool if they taught the zipper merge and put up the occasional sign about it in the U.S.
Dave Clawson doesn't understand the left lane is for passing.
He knows it's to control other people's speed.
"if I'm going the speed limit in the left lane then no one should be passing me anyways"
Yeah, that's Dave.
Dave Clawson rides in the left lane below the speed limit so he can get a great view of all the trees changing.
Dave Clawson insists on bringing up political talking points during team meetings every week. And then he gets angry that the conversations turned political and tells the team he hates having to talk about politics.
Dave Clawson hates water girls.
Dave Clawson thinks that "Allegacy Federal Credit Union Stadium" is too short of a name for their home field.
Dave Clawson hopes that by this time next year, he will be "Tim Duncan '97 - Chris Paul '05 Wake Forest Head Football Coach Dave Clawson."
Dave Clawson thinks Frank Beamer was an aggressive coach and strives to be the nicest coach around.
Dave Clawson's actual name is Dave C. Lawson, but he waited too long to correct it and now it's super awkward, so he's just going to leave it that way.
Dave Clawson's real last name is Lawson, but he just changed it to Clawson hoping to get an endorsement deal from White Claw.
Dave Clawson thinks it would be a good idea to change Wake Forest to 'Woke Forest'.
Dave Clawson thinks Wake Forest University should move back to Wake Forest, NC because "it's really confusing".
I mean he's not wrong
Dave Clawson encourages young people to try and take the following job because it sounds like a great opportunity:
Tourism Marketing Specialist, Iran & Afghanistan Travel Consultant
Note: I am not making this job description up. Someone who joined my Hiking, Backpacking or Trekking LinkedIn Group actually has this. And man, we thought Pry had a tough job picking up the pieces after Fuente. How strong is the global tourism industry for Iran and Afghanistan?
Dave Clawson's favorite movie is Liar Liar, because he thinks it is about him being unbeatable.
Dave Clawson thinks Monolith of Inhumanity (2012) is the crowning achievement of Cattle Decapitation's discography, when clearly it is Terrasite (2023).
Dave Clawson contends he was the original White Clawson.
Dave Clawson is capable of coaching at a school that gives a damn about football.
His career progression is limited by his fragile ego, which can only handle being the big wake in a little forest.
He has only seriously entertained offers from Purdue, Vanderbilt and Temple.
Dave Clawson wanted to name his son Santa but his wife wouldn't let him
Edit: his second choice was Dawson but she turned that down as well
Dave Clawson's nephew, Carson Clawson, lives in Boston and Dave is so jealous of him.
Khahhson Khahhson lives in Bahhston? Must be a Socks fan. Socks Sock......
Dave Clawson screams at strangers for doing something he didn't like, and when said stranger offers a valid reason for why they did things the way they did them, Clawson says "I don't care" and continues yelling.
Dave Clawson is known for his offenses featuring the "Extended Mesh Point" which is also the title of his sex tape
Ewww
Maybe if the weather clears we can go to the zoo in the afternoon as a consolation prize.
Edit: that was a text meant for my wife, but fuck it. Dave Clawson doesn't want to go to the zoo as a consolation prize
Dave Clawson takes a can of corn on every fishing trip.
Dave Clawson has to take a WakeyLeak in the middle of every quarter.
Dave Clawson is a tomato can!
Clawson eats vegemite and marmite, and thinks everyone else should too.
Dave Clawson feeds the neighborhood Canadian Geese so they return every year and increase in numbers.
Never eaten Canadian Goose but yeah..maybe with the RIGHT marinade....
That's a nope. Can confirm.
"Majestic Canadian Geese" means they have never actually seen one.
And quite possibly never spelled one.
Now if we were talking about the majestic MOOSE:
Dave makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with rye bread
and if he doesn't have bread in the house, he just opens the jars and scoops a handful of each and mixes it up in his mouth
Dave Clawson doesn't hold doors for his wife.
Dave Clawson does that thing where he looks like he is holding the door until you step toward it, but then lets go and steps away so it either hits you when you are carrying stuff or it closes just a few inches outside of your reach.
He does, but it's to keep her out.