It was early evening, some might call it dusk even. The air was cool on this autumn afternoon. The air moist from the afternoon rain. Jerry Kill, or Mac daddy killa as his friends call him, walks into the Merriman center. He had been at the local orphanage reading to the kids. He'd adopt everyone last one of them but his health just doesn't allow it, so he does what he can.
He is on the phone with the united nations as he helps them out free of charge. They really look up to him.
Cornelson, who had low jacked Jerry's car, rushed into the lobby to yell at Jerry, "Hey! Geriatric! get off the phone we have work to do, clock is ticking."
Kill: "Brad, some times there are more important things than getting home by 6 during football season. When I was head coach we never got home before..."
Corn: "I don't care what you did as head coach cause you're not head coach now, that's my j...best friends job."
Kill: "Justin brought me in to give wisdom and help the staff be more efficient."
Corn: "I'm already the best offensive mind to ever grace football, I dont need advice."
Kill can't help but chuckle.
Corn starts yelling in Jerry's face, spitting all over him, so close that Jerry can smell the fish Brad microwaved for lunch.
Jerry: "are you done?"
Corn: "No, I'm not done, we are getting our asses beat because these players can't execute."
Jerry: "That's because you're playing into the defenses game plan."
Corn: "Bullshit! If the players did what I tell them they'd be wide open."
Kill: "And what if they aren't?"
Corn: "then they didn't listen to me!"
Kill: "You can't predict everything."
Corn: "That's what expected outcomes means dumbass! That Hooker kid wont throw the ball to where i want him to!"
Kill: "That's because he's trying to win the game, he can read a fucking defense!"
Corn: "what are you saying little man?"
Kill: "You can't game plan because you can't breakdown film."
corn: "What the fuck do you think you are doing, I run this mother fucking town, this shit hole is mine. You think you can come into my house and talk shit to me?"
Kill: "This is not your house, most days you're gone by 5."
Corn pulls a knife out of his pocket and swings it as Kill who dodges it just in time. He then waits for the next swing and catches Brad's arm, twists it forcing him to drop the knife. Kill then headbutts Corn. This infuriates Corn, his face gets redder as he continues to try and hit Jerry. Kill continues to deflect the attacks hoping he realizes how over matches he is and stops.
By this time the entire coaching staff were cracking open beers and watching the fight. The GAs are taking bets from all onlookers.
Finally Kill realized Corn wasn't going to stop so he decides to end the fight. He grabs corn's punch and crushes his hand until Jerry throws a haymaker with his other hand putting Corn on the floor. In a last ditch attempt Corn pulls out his gun and shoots Kill in chest. Jerry pulls the bullet out with his fingers and flick it aside, now he is upset. No one shoots Jerry and lives. He picks Corn up by his head and twists it breaking his neck. Jerry grabs a beer and then takes out a lighter to cauterize the wound. He takes a sip and tells everyone Brad should have watched more film. He then walks to his office to get back to work.
Log in or register to post comments about the Virginia Tech Hokies
Well thank you, I'm flattered, but my muses were ryan reynolds dream hair and will Ferrell's velvety voice as I wrote this while watching Spirited. No cucumbers were harmed in the writing of this post.
Log in or register to post comments about the Virginia Tech Hokies
Man I clicked on that link. What a hellscape our program was 3-4 years ago. Bunch of random dudes from Oklahoma and Kansas running VT football in the ground and fighting during film review. My how the turntables.
Log in or register to post comments about the Virginia Tech Hokies
Comments
I agree, I have been pulling for him ever since he reportedly called out corny for being a bum. Wish him the best.
Damn, he had such a good year
Hey now, that's Hokie Legend Jerry Kill
I love that he beat the brakes off of Hugh Freeze with New Mexico State... twice.
Good luck and wishing you the best JK.
Can anyone on the inside break down the blow by blow lead up to the infamous Kill vs Corny showdown?
No they can't because it's a message board rumor that everyone wants to believe.
It was early evening, some might call it dusk even. The air was cool on this autumn afternoon. The air moist from the afternoon rain. Jerry Kill, or Mac daddy killa as his friends call him, walks into the Merriman center. He had been at the local orphanage reading to the kids. He'd adopt everyone last one of them but his health just doesn't allow it, so he does what he can.
He is on the phone with the united nations as he helps them out free of charge. They really look up to him.
Cornelson, who had low jacked Jerry's car, rushed into the lobby to yell at Jerry, "Hey! Geriatric! get off the phone we have work to do, clock is ticking."
Kill: "Brad, some times there are more important things than getting home by 6 during football season. When I was head coach we never got home before..."
Corn: "I don't care what you did as head coach cause you're not head coach now, that's my j...best friends job."
Kill: "Justin brought me in to give wisdom and help the staff be more efficient."
Corn: "I'm already the best offensive mind to ever grace football, I dont need advice."
Kill can't help but chuckle.
Corn starts yelling in Jerry's face, spitting all over him, so close that Jerry can smell the fish Brad microwaved for lunch.
Jerry: "are you done?"
Corn: "No, I'm not done, we are getting our asses beat because these players can't execute."
Jerry: "That's because you're playing into the defenses game plan."
Corn: "Bullshit! If the players did what I tell them they'd be wide open."
Kill: "And what if they aren't?"
Corn: "then they didn't listen to me!"
Kill: "You can't predict everything."
Corn: "That's what expected outcomes means dumbass! That Hooker kid wont throw the ball to where i want him to!"
Kill: "That's because he's trying to win the game, he can read a fucking defense!"
Corn: "what are you saying little man?"
Kill: "You can't game plan because you can't breakdown film."
corn: "What the fuck do you think you are doing, I run this mother fucking town, this shit hole is mine. You think you can come into my house and talk shit to me?"
Kill: "This is not your house, most days you're gone by 5."
Corn pulls a knife out of his pocket and swings it as Kill who dodges it just in time. He then waits for the next swing and catches Brad's arm, twists it forcing him to drop the knife. Kill then headbutts Corn. This infuriates Corn, his face gets redder as he continues to try and hit Jerry. Kill continues to deflect the attacks hoping he realizes how over matches he is and stops.
By this time the entire coaching staff were cracking open beers and watching the fight. The GAs are taking bets from all onlookers.
Finally Kill realized Corn wasn't going to stop so he decides to end the fight. He grabs corn's punch and crushes his hand until Jerry throws a haymaker with his other hand putting Corn on the floor. In a last ditch attempt Corn pulls out his gun and shoots Kill in chest. Jerry pulls the bullet out with his fingers and flick it aside, now he is upset. No one shoots Jerry and lives. He picks Corn up by his head and twists it breaking his neck. Jerry grabs a beer and then takes out a lighter to cauterize the wound. He takes a sip and tells everyone Brad should have watched more film. He then walks to his office to get back to work.
I 800% accept this as gospel truth 😁
I like to think about Jerry dodging Corny's knife attacks like Keanu blocked Agent Smith after he realized he was the one.
Cheers and Merry Christmas!
Bravo you crazy bastard!
This may be the best thing you have ever posted on here. Who knew that eating cucumbers wrong was a sign of creativity?
Well thank you, I'm flattered, but my muses were ryan reynolds dream hair and will Ferrell's velvety voice as I wrote this while watching Spirited. No cucumbers were harmed in the writing of this post.
Wow what a great documentary piece...you should try writing FICTION!
Original post
By the way, source is a 247 contributor/hokie groupie who heard it from someone in the room 🤷♂️
And with the additional "Fire Cornelson" info by JUGS.
What ended up happening to Jugs? Hasnt posted in years
The last I remember she moved to Nebraska with Scott Frost's staff from UCF.
Man I clicked on that link. What a hellscape our program was 3-4 years ago. Bunch of random dudes from Oklahoma and Kansas running VT football in the ground and fighting during film review. My how the turntables.