Welcome to the offseason, TKP! Sorry I'm a little late. I know the CFB season wrapped up nicely with our very own Hokies drubbing Tulane in the Military Bowl (though I also enjoyed that offseason news blip about my hometown Liberty Flames getting ducked senseless in the Fiesta Bowl). Too bad there's been nothing CFB related to watch since then, but that's the nature of the offseason for you. In between arguments about recruiting, NIL, future of the playoffs and, checks notes...child porn laws (what the actual fuck, people?), I figured I'd do some serious number crunching on what really matters: the TKP Big Board.
In the spirit of the CFB playoff committee, I've arbitrarily cut off the analysis at number 15. The rest of you can take your complaints to the round filing cabinet in the corner. All data is approximate and gleaned at some point on January 2nd while I was trying to figure out what one is supposed to do at work so don't expect it to continue to be accurate. Unfortunately, I don't have data over time, but that would have taken waayyyyy too much time doing this manually by way of the wayback machine. So, all disclaimers aside, let's get into the numbers.
First off, the straight rankings. To save you from clicking back and forth to look at the big board while perusing this totally serious and insightful analysis, I've copied over the top 15 leg getters with their totals. I think we can all join together in saying, "Dayum, Alum07." Fully 50% more legs than 2nd place, whoever that guy is.
| Big Board Rank | User | Turkey Legs |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Alum07 | 189506 |
| 2 | hokie07ME | 131651 |
| 3 | Hokie Fireman | 127501 |
| 4 | gobble gobble chumps | 124351 |
| 5 | VTGuitarman | 102352 |
| 6 | Vtkey | 96182 |
| 7 | Chris | 85541 |
| 8 | bar1990 | 82511 |
| 9 | VPIhokieME | 63962 |
| 10 | HorseOnATreadmill | 56635 |
| 11 | SevenLayersofPlayers | 53258 |
| 12 | 07Hokie | 52095 |
| 13 | fernleyhokie | 51516 |
| 14 | 757hokie83 | 48673 |
| 15 | dcwilson40 | 48489 |
As Bar1990 will love to tell you, pure offensive output in terms of yards isn't nearly as useful a statistic as more advanced metrics, so let's look at the quality of comment, rather than the overall score. Below is the average number of upvotes each user gets for each comment he makes. Our fearless leader drops to 6th place. It would seem that, on a per comment basis, SevenLayersofPlayers is 40% funnier than Alum07. Don't hate, it's right there in the science.
| User | Legs/Comment |
|---|---|
| SevenLayersofPlayers | 10.36 |
| gobble gobble chumps | 9.17 |
| hokie07ME | 8.63 |
| 757hokie83 | 8.21 |
| VTGuitarman | 7.74 |
| Alum07 | 7.41 |
| 07Hokie | 7.39 |
| Chris | 6.87 |
| bar1990 | 6.85 |
| dcwilson40 | 6.65 |
| fernleyhokie | 5.86 |
| Hokie Fireman | 5.57 |
| VPIhokieME | 4.91 |
| HorseOnATreadmill | 4.77 |
| Vtkey | 4.43 |
What about frequency of participation in the site? Let's look at comments per day. There may be more active users among the TKP faithful, but none of you cracked the top 15 on the big board so better luck next year (there will be a next year, right, Joe? Right?). Alum07 makes over 7 comments a day. SLoP, despite his high hit rate at legs per comment, only posts 1.3 comments per day. Quality over quantity, amirite?
| User | Comments/Day |
|---|---|
| Alum07 | 7.14 |
| Vtkey | 6.87 |
| Hokie Fireman | 5.65 |
| gobble gobble chumps | 5.39 |
| hokie07ME | 4.21 |
| Chris | 3.59 |
| VPIhokieME | 3.45 |
| VTGuitarman | 3.30 |
| HorseOnATreadmill | 2.94 |
| bar1990 | 2.83 |
| fernleyhokie | 2.29 |
| 07Hokie | 1.97 |
| dcwilson40 | 1.82 |
| 757hokie83 | 1.63 |
| SevenLayersofPlayers | 1.28 |
Even though this is an easy calculation based on the last two metrics, I still wanted to rank by legs per day. Alum07 and GGC, I salute you. Producing at the pace of 50 legs per day is quite the accomplishment. To the rest of you slackers, you gotta get those numbers up.
| User | Legs/Day |
|---|---|
| Alum07 | 52.96 |
| gobble gobble chumps | 49.46 |
| hokie07ME | 36.37 |
| Hokie Fireman | 31.46 |
| Vtkey | 30.47 |
| VTGuitarman | 25.53 |
| Chris | 24.63 |
| bar1990 | 19.41 |
| VPIhokieME | 16.90 |
| 07Hokie | 14.59 |
| HorseOnATreadmill | 13.99 |
| fernleyhokie | 13.44 |
| 757hokie83 | 13.37 |
| SevenLayersofPlayers | 13.23 |
| dcwilson40 | 12.10 |
Lastly, I wanted to look at longevity. No one knows when this site came into existence. Before you post a link to some alleged "facts" let me repeat myself. No. One. Knows. However, we can see how long folks have had accounts. Does being around longer mean you have more legs? Just about as much as winning time of possession by more means you win the game by more (hint: it doesn't).
| User | Days member | Big Board Rank |
|---|---|---|
| bar1990 | 4251 | 8 |
| Hokie Fireman | 4053 | 3 |
| HorseOnATreadmill | 4048 | 10 |
| SevenLayersofPlayers | 4025 | 11 |
| VTGuitarman | 4009 | 5 |
| dcwilson40 | 4009 | 15 |
| fernleyhokie | 3833 | 13 |
| VPIhokieME | 3784 | 9 |
| 757hokie83 | 3641 | 14 |
| hokie07ME | 3620 | 2 |
| Alum07 | 3578 | 1 |
| 07Hokie | 3570 | 12 |
| Chris | 3473 | 7 |
| Vtkey | 3157 | 6 |
| gobble gobble chumps | 2514 | 4 |
That's all I've got. There's a meeting in 2 minutes to talk about priorities for the new year so I'm throwing this up as pure brain vomit (see what I did there?) instead of doing multiple drafts. Please discuss. I'm sure the author will respond to all criticism with the same level of care and professionalism exhibited thus far in this post.
Comments
I'm 23,000 legs away from seeing my name in the bright lights. If you could, GGC, go ahead and hit me with that 25,000 leg. Please and thank you.
I'm not even a blip on the radar
Hey looking on the bright side- we are both in the top 250!! (230 for you 232 for me!) And there are 2873 members on the big board so we are top ten percent which is an A.
Interestingly there are 40 folks with total that is below zero! And 613 with only single digit legs or less. And 1431 that are double digits or less so the median is at 100 legs which means we have over 50 times the median!
Guess this shows how statistics can be selectively phrased or chosen to make anyone look good!
Lies, damn lies and statistics!!!
Statistics are like a bikini; they reveal a lot, but what they don't show is usually more interesting.
Sounds fishy. Do you have links to relevant examples? /s
Alum07:
Me:
Efficient and effective babeyyyyyyyyy
The best news here, the in the interest of my home and work lives, is that I show up in none of these lists.
Lol, I am more than 150,000 legs behinds the leaders despite apparently having been a member for longer. That is what not posting gifs gets you.
[checks the big board]
[sees that I'm sitting at 69th]
I'm good right where I'm at.
Nice.
Gotta be careful, you're like 4 or 5 quality posts away from getting to 68th!
eh... its rare for me to get those any way (I think). Its going to be a while before I can drop a number of Exum gifs in a game thread that has a large enough audience, so I may be comfortable in my spot for the Spring.
You're 160 back. That's like 1 commit announcement or 4 gifs dunking on Liberty's loss. Easily doable
My only good Liberty-ish pic is the one I did 2 Springs ago with Ghost and the Hokie Hammer... But I can try.
Better watch it Rif. I'm coming for that very ...*nice*... position!
I guess I need to stop posting so I can drop back a spot, just realized I am 68.
lol yeeeeeaaaaaah, I didn't expect that to happen so when I saw a glut of replies to my comment over the weekend, I definitely didn't expect that.
Lol. Yeah I opened the site on my phone earlier and the first thing I see is the portal thread with a comment copy and pasting the VA code for rape. Wondered how in the world we got there.
I was just answering/clarifying a comment talking about the penalties in VA....
Oh I realize that now, no worries. Was just jarring seeing that as a comment in that thread and had to read further for context.
I'm content with my spot in the top 60. Leaving for 14 months so you don't get banned and then an additional 6 or 7 when your life unexpectedly falls apart, it'll get after ya. But I'm good with it.
I am surprised 11 years doesn't put me in the top 15 for longevity, though.
I only evaluated the top 15 for turkey legs then compared different stats. So you may well be in the top 15 for pure duration. I can't sort the big board by duration unless Joe wants to send me a csv of the entire database so this is approach is inherently flawed.
What if TKP is just a really big csv file and that's why Joe doesn't get anyone to help him code?
Top 25 over the hill TKPC members (extracted from the top 500 on the Big Board):
I started lurking sometime before the 2011 season began. If I'd made my account just 5 months sooner I'd be in the top 25...welp
Woo! Number 10 on the big board based solely on the time of possession!
That was the point here, right? To point out how important TOP is? That's what I'm taking away from this.
How did you get total number of comments made? I've never noticed that listed before.
Counting pages of comments x 25 plus remainder on the last page. Super high tech.
If you need data I might be able to provide it, my script probably broke when the site when pay only but I was tsking monthly snapshots. So you'd only have a few months to fill in.
I worked it out like a year ago that if Alum stops posting I'd have like 20 years to catch him. Also if he continues to post I'd never catch him. He gets more likes per month than I do.
I have to figure out where to find and how to post gifs if I have any hope of making it onto the big board tops.
Here is some of the work i did. I only capture the top 100 so if some one comes into the front page they look like they magically just appeared one day. So out of the top 100 in May 2022, the names at the bottom were the members that posted at 14 LPD (legs per day). For those that can't read that, they are:
Alum07, Hokie Fireman, hokie07ME, VTGuitarMan, gobble gobble chumps, Vtkey, Chris,
HorseOnATreadmill, bar1990, SevenLayersofPlayers, VPIhokieME, fernleyhokie, HokieJeep,
NerdMagic, KingJames, StineyDraw48
Note: those two large spikes are when StineyDraw and I entered the top 100
Petition to extend the analysis to the top 173 posters
Almost top 100, 2024 is the year
Fortunately there are 6 non-Key Players in front of us (I'm right next to you).
I WAS resolving to finally get back in real shape this year, but that arbitrary top 100... Ooh, it's tempting.
When you've been a TKP member for longer than any of these chumps but only have a small fraction of their turkey legs 😅
Yep realizing I am longest tenured in the Top 20...guess I have some work to do.
In solidarity with my fellow weak-legged posters, I shall be sticking it to the man and refusing to upvote Alum in this thread.
Upvote me instead. Maybe I can catch him.
Man, it sucks working in secure buildings with limited unclassified computer access. Four years ago, I was top 50 and climbing. Now I'm not even top 100.
Just don't have a life, its what i do.
I had kids.
"I'll allow it."
and...also...
you're not the only one. My youngest turns 3 this month
I got 2 under 2.5, and a third on the way. I feel like I should jump into the top 4 based purely on strength of schedule.
As #16, I'd like to give a hearty "Fuck you, I'm suing the ACC for this" to the Selection Committee.
I was just peeking at the Big Board before New Year, I think I am still moving up, still have some non-TKP in front of me, so I got that going for me.
Shout out to Frosty's dad for making the top 100, coming in at 99th. Now the latest created account on the top page! One of 6 of us that are 2017 or later.
I blame Iditarod.
That's an odd way of saying you like Diptheria.
#5 in overall legs...how did I get Georgia'd? I didn't lose to Bama! Bama's never played me and ain't never played nobody PAWWWWLLL.
But were you undefeated?
A Fireman, a Chump and an Alum walk into a bar....and taunt you with their 20K+ Leg lead. They must have jumped to the B2 before you....
Yeah, like VT, I missed my chance at glory when it came my way. I will forever be the first to 20k and 50k legs. Then I lost steam when "real life" took over...
I'm decidedly average
I describe my pool abilities as "outstandingly average" and "consistently inconsistent"
Seriously?
Last in the "funny" category?
Why are you showing this?
Can you tell me where to go to look at the Big Board? Haven't thought to look for a long time and was gone for a while, but I don't see a link for it anymore. This thread got me curious.
Thanks, whoever helps.
Very bottom of the page.
https://www.thekeyplay.com/turkey-legs-big-board
Scroll all the way to the bottom of any TKP page.
In the maroon field, look for TURKEY LEGS BIG BOARD in white text.
EDIT: I'm doing another sober month, but I'll chug the rest of this smoothie.
Nope. Ain't there. Always was, but it has disappeared from my page.
It's at the very bottom of the page under the Resources column. It wa obscured on my iPad by that bar at the bottom the screen.
Nope, my page ends at the Tracker. The bar at the bottom does, indeed, obscure anything below that. I suppose I can jigger around and try to shrink the page up above the bar, or move the bar I guess, but I am as close to computer illiterate as a functioning adult can be and still survive in the modern age so it didn't cross my mind. I'm not on a pad, but a HP PC, but I always used to be able to see it, don't know what changed other than an upgrade to Windows 10. I have a couple of other issues that I attribute to that upgrade, notably that my camera no longer communicates properly with the HP and the computer won't download pictures though it can see the shots as long as the camera is connected. Weird, no fix from You Tube or anything has helped yet. Might just be time for a Geek?
EDIT: OK, I just got busy and messed around with the page thingy and was able to see the rest of the page. Do appreciate the help and apologize for taking up space on a trivial issue. I did learn a little bit though. Now, about that camera....
So your shit doesn't look like this?
Or this?
Also, if you click on your profile, you can click on your Turkey leg number and get there too.
I'll check that out. As explained above, it used to be there at the bottom of the page, but not any more. Why? It's a mystery.
Thanks for the help! Must admit that I was only idly curious anyway, but it did annoy me. Mystery solved.
Not to revive this thread, but strangely, now, all of a sudden, the big board thing shows up at the bottom of the page every time I look. For me, this is just another computer mystery. It's all magic narrated in Greek to me, but WTF?
One of those "can't unsee it" things. Like how you notice how many VT stickers are on cars after you add a new one to yours.
The GTA Stolen Car Effect
No, seriously, it was hidden by the bar at the bottom of the page. Gone. Then, I messed around with the page layout as I said, and there it was, where I know it always was. OK, and I clicked back on the regular page and forgot about it figuring I could get to it that way if I wanted to peruse the Big Board. Now, however, without anything else from me, it's back where of course it always has been. I guess something I did restored the bottom of the page that was hidden by the bar, but it is weird.
Thanks for reminding me, I need a VT sticker for my new vehicles!