Mario Cristobal wears a wizards cap (like from Fantasia) with a big red emblazoned "M", tries to speak with a fake and awful Italian accent, and likes to pull out a glass sphere he bought from the dollar store on recruiting visits to say "I see you in my Cristo....ball...."
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Mario Cristobal thinks it is great that your company was bought by a private equity firm.
He also thinks - right after 1 of at least 4 rounds of layoffs - that you should send an e-mail around celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month and saying how important it is for the employees to take care of their mental well-being as we are such an employee-supporting company.
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He also thinks - right after 1 of at least 4 rounds of layoffs - that you should send an e-mail around celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month and saying how important it is for the employees to take care of their mental well-being as we are such an employee-supporting company.
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I hate Alabama, the way most CFB fans hate Alabama - they are the traditional big dog, their fans think they are entitled to success, and you want to see them lose.
I hate Notre Dame, the way any good Protestant should hate those heretics. Perennially pre-season ranked? Give me a damn break this is the most consistently overrated team in any sport, ever, of all time.
I hate West Virginia the way brothers hate each other - we are too much alike to be in the same room with one another.
I hate UVA the way any self respecting Virginian should. This is football, not a goddamn country club. Charlottesville is hardly the Hamptons, you insufferably pretentious pricks.
But I hate Miami, the way any living, breathing, carbon based life form should hate them. I am repulsed by their existence. I look at them, the way one might look at an insect. You don't know why, you just have the primal urge to squash the insect. It is a grotesque abomination in the sight of God almighty.
Miami is trash from a trash fountain. A team that perennially thinks they are blue blood worthy, but they don't have the discipline to be perennially good. They have flashes of greatness - the Cam Ward era is one such flash - but the flash always burns out, and they inevitably self destruct.
It was the great pleasure of my sports watching life, to watch Bud Foster waltz into their "home environment" and absolutely shut their undisciplined no-stadium having asses down with stonewall defenses, and grin while their fairweather fanbase called us hicks for it.
Just a disgusting, disgraceful excuse for a football program, really.
Uniforms are sick though.
... Mario Cristobal wipes his boogers on the bottom of the bus seat on the forty minute drive to the stadium.
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Mario Cristobal keeps starting new conversations on an existing e-mail chain that have nothing to do with the original subject line, nor the bulk of the people copied on said original e-mail chain.
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Well, what I'm saying is that Joe owns/runs a fantastic fan site and I would hate to see him fall into the trap of perpetual dispair. Let us the members do that, lol...
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Comments
Mario Cristobal enters the room for press conferences saying, "It's-a me! Mario!"
... and insists that someone play 80's videogame sounds in the background.
And insists it's pronounced Mare-ee-oh
hey now Mario Cristobal is not from New Jersey
The rumor is that Cristobal has fragile balls.
mario cristobal would be a good fit in pry's staff
Mario thinks NIL money makes it easier to be the Miami coach as they no longer have to hide the bags of money.
Mario Cristobal wears a wizards cap (like from Fantasia) with a big red emblazoned "M", tries to speak with a fake and awful Italian accent, and likes to pull out a glass sphere he bought from the dollar store on recruiting visits to say "I see you in my Cristo....ball...."
Mario Cristobal thinks Miami is bak.
Mario Cristobal has http://ismiamibakyet.com/ bookmarked and refreshes daily to check if today is the day.
Mario has a much better team than we do.
But how many sacks does their right tackle have?
How blessed are we to have the #1 sack leader in the country on both defense and offense! /s
Pry has a signed poster of Cristobal in his office which says, "Brent, recruits needed! Coaching not needed - signed super mario"
Mario Cristobal thinks you should never take a knee at the end of the game.
Mario Cristobal thinks it is great that your company was bought by a private equity firm.
He also thinks - right after 1 of at least 4 rounds of layoffs - that you should send an e-mail around celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month and saying how important it is for the employees to take care of their mental well-being as we are such an employee-supporting company.
I've got plenty more to come for future Hatin' On threads.
Mario Cristobal shucks his corn at the farmers market
Ew, that sounds dirty.
I hate Alabama, the way most CFB fans hate Alabama - they are the traditional big dog, their fans think they are entitled to success, and you want to see them lose.
I hate Notre Dame, the way any good Protestant should hate those heretics. Perennially pre-season ranked? Give me a damn break this is the most consistently overrated team in any sport, ever, of all time.
I hate West Virginia the way brothers hate each other - we are too much alike to be in the same room with one another.
I hate UVA the way any self respecting Virginian should. This is football, not a goddamn country club. Charlottesville is hardly the Hamptons, you insufferably pretentious pricks.
But I hate Miami, the way any living, breathing, carbon based life form should hate them. I am repulsed by their existence. I look at them, the way one might look at an insect. You don't know why, you just have the primal urge to squash the insect. It is a grotesque abomination in the sight of God almighty.
Miami is trash from a trash fountain. A team that perennially thinks they are blue blood worthy, but they don't have the discipline to be perennially good. They have flashes of greatness - the Cam Ward era is one such flash - but the flash always burns out, and they inevitably self destruct.
It was the great pleasure of my sports watching life, to watch Bud Foster waltz into their "home environment" and absolutely shut their undisciplined no-stadium having asses down with stonewall defenses, and grin while their fairweather fanbase called us hicks for it.
Just a disgusting, disgraceful excuse for a football program, really.
Uniforms are sick though.
... Mario Cristobal wipes his boogers on the bottom of the bus seat on the forty minute drive to the stadium.
Mario Cristobal keeps starting new conversations on an existing e-mail chain that have nothing to do with the original subject line, nor the bulk of the people copied on said original e-mail chain.
and he always Replies All.
BREAKING NEWS: some dipshit shock jock put in their Cristobal for Miami being bak this year.
Mario's real last name is Cristoforo. He changes it depending on who he is working for.
This would hit a bit better if this game were the week of October 14th. I promise.
Fuck Mario Cristobal
That's how they hate at the Player Haters Ball.
PREACH!!!!
I'm seeing a different side to Joe here lately and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing...
Well, what I'm saying is that Joe owns/runs a fantastic fan site and I would hate to see him fall into the trap of perpetual dispair. Let us the members do that, lol...
Oh the stories I could tell
Mario Cristobol thinks he's the champaign of coaches.
Mario Cristobol thinks Miami is back every year.
Mario Cristobol wishes he had thought of the turnover chain.
Mario Cristobal likes the new seatbacks in Lane Stadium
Damn, Gina! That's cold-blooded.
Mario Cristobal carries marbles in his pocket so he can ask the "crystal balls" the answer to questions.
Mario Cristobal is a member of his HOA's architectural review board.
Mario Cristobal doesn't think HOA enforcers have enough power.
Mario Cristobal threatens to put a lien on your property for having a brushed brass outdoor light fixture instead of a polished brass fixture.
Fuck that guy.
Mario Cristobal thinks the only acceptable paints are Miami colors.
Mario Cristobal is GoKartMozart confirmed
Cristobal wants to be up by 35 at halftime to allow a continuously running clock in the 2nd half so they can go to the club.
Mario Cristobal is disappointed the hurricane is going to miss Miami
I am actually upset about it. If it were rainy and windy tonight, maybe we stand a chance.
Mario Cristobal leaves the seat down when he pees...