Hatin' On: BYE

BYE thinks the Hokies not playing this weekend is a good thing.

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BYE week thinks NSYNC is underrated and had some deep lyrics

my wife introduced my son to 90s boy bands. i will never forgive her.

I been here since day 0.

My youngest daughter is into KPOP boy bands.. Ugh.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

my son can sing the hell out of some old bollywood songs, and i actually think thats cool

when he started in on i want it that way, with accompanying dance moves, i had to pull the missus aside

I been here since day 0.

My 6-year-old twin boys love Taylor Swift. On the other hand, they also know almost all the words to Thunderstruck, so I still have some influence around here.

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

My four kids that I know of are 25, 24, 21, and 18. A while back, as they all got into their teenage years, I introduced them to 60's, 70's and 80's rock and Motown. They all have gravitated to these music era's and listen regularly. Their playlists are loaded with them. It's this stuff and todays Country that gets the most play time.

I don't know whether I should be upset with the BYE or not.
On one hand, after 6 games a break to get a chance to heal up is good.
On the other hand, a break in the momentum and good vibes is less good.

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

This is the beauty of the BYE-THURS set up. It's long enough to get the treatment you need for little things but hopefully short enough you dont get rust or lose momentum. Then since it's a Thursday game, we have a little bit of a longer prep time for the next game. Instead of one 14 day break, you get stretches of 12 and 9 back to back

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Bye week hasn't beaten a single top 100 power ranked team, but still crows about being undefeated.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

It's been a really tough year for the Noles.

I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me.

Yep and doubled down, seeing they have now lost the commitments from their top 7 recruits for the next class.

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

And it couldn't happen to a more deserving school.

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

Bye week whispers to my my wife that I have time for chores.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Hey Bye week......snitches get stitches.

Bye picks up food covered dishes and moves them a few feet closer to the dish area if the kitchen, but doesn't actually clean them off or get them to the place they're supposed to be.

Bye puts toilet paper on the roll over the front.

Bye puts toilet paper on the roll over the front.

Do you have a cat or something? Otherwise I don't understand putting it under. The original patent shows that it's designed to go over and it's easier to work with. The only drawback is that it's easier to unravel.

"That move was slicker than a peeled onion in a bowl of snot." -Mike Burnop

^^^ THIS!!!

I will die on this hill. Cats are the only reason to go the other way, otherwise you are just doing it wrong.

there are some contextual situations where the reach and grab makes it easier to use the roll as leverage to tear one-handed

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

I'll be doing a drawing to support this, and the fact that gravity is your friend over the back. It's not over the front.

Why do you need gravity assistance to unroll some toilet paper?

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

It's not assistance, it's your enemy. Over the front, assuming you're situated higher than the roll, any tug will unroll it more (whether down or towards you). Over the back, and down pulls out what you need and towards you tears it.

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

So that's why my TP is wavy at the ends, huh, good to know.

When you tear toilet paper with one hand, it tears tangent to the roll, and breaks at the perforations nearest the anchor point. Typically, that perforation is the one beyond the anchor point. Sometimes, not. If you've put your toilet paper over the front, the anchor point is at the very top of the roll. The end, left after the break, falls onto the face of the roll. Without deformation of the end, it typically wants to lie flat on the face of the roll. You find yourself having to pick at the roll trying to find the end the next time you need to wipe. With the roll mounted over the back, the anchor point is at the bottom of the roll. When the paper breaks, gravity makes the end fall down, nicely dangling it for your next grab.

People who talk about the paper being hard to reach, when over the back, have probably just mounted their holder in a bad spot.

You guys sure are having problems with handling TP.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

I'm glad it works for you, Bluto. I mean that.

I'm still putting it over the front.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Is this argument gonna replace the TKP Cake or Pie?

If so, i'm team over the top as well

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

This entire argument is over the top

I know what I must do

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

I'm team 'I couldn't give a rat's ass one way or the other'. Thankfully, my wife is the same way, so no arguments about this.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

now feels like a good time to bring up this point that I learned about 7-10 years ago:

There are two types of people in the world and neither one knows the other even exists.

1. People who sit to wipe
2. People who stand to wipe

Enjoy!

Onward and upward

I am not sure I can enjoy that comment...

I felt kinda like I was throwing a knowledge grenade into the debate - I expected it to launch a new sub-debate that would've been pretty entertaining. Alas....

Onward and upward

And their are two different wiping maneuvers:

- Front to Back
- Back to Front

I'm a Back to Front guy myself

Y'all wipe?

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

* three types of people

Onward and upward

Well, there are also bidets.

So probably a few more types.

I own a bidet. It's life changing. Highly recommend. I still wipe. Wiping is more about drying than cleaning tho. I only wipe because walking around with a soaking wet ass is not comfortable for me.

Onward and upward

I'd still maintain that this qualifies as a different type, or even category, as drying is with a towel, not TP.

This whole discussion reminds me of the Deadpool 2 Matt Damon cameo (starts around 1:40)

This is the kind of subthread that usually only exists in the off-season.

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

bye week is basically a mini offseason

Fair enough....

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

I've been saying this for years. If in the event you are wiping you get some crap on your finger, you don't just take another piece of toilet paper and wipe it off and call it a day. You make sure you wash your hands good. Why is your butthole any different.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Because ideally you dont put your butthole on door handles, keyboards, food, your face, other people's hands.......

??????????????

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

"Ideally".

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

Haven't logged into TKP for 2-3 days and then when I do, this is the subject matter I get.
Epic.

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

I'm just saying you can't always anticipate the circumstances in which you'll find yourself. Life doesn't always give you the ideal situation, and you never know what you're going to have to touch with your butthole.

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

I've read this comment so many times, and I can't figure this out on my own. I'm gonna need you to clarify that you're not defending people who don't wipe

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

He didn't say anything about people who don't wipe, just that if we think TP isn't sufficient to get poo off our hands, why would we think it's sufficient to get poo off our butts? Literally asked how it's any different! And i told him how it's different! Like unless you get skid marks in your undies every time you poop, TP is sufficient to do what we need it to do and get you to your next shower. Washing your hands isn't just about "getting them clean", it's about not spreading germs and you should be washing them regardless of whether or not you get any poo on them

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Yes...I agree. Carry on.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Are you saying you don't wash your hands after using the bathroom if you don't get crap on your hands?

Eww.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

I think he's saying that washing is more hygenic than wiping with a thin piece of paper.

Not unreasonable.

I think he's also saying is that he'd prefer people wash their hands after touching their butthole, before touching common surfaces or other people.

Also not unreasonable, if I'm interpreting what he's saying correctly.

But he provided a pretty good argument for bidets.

Think of the trees!

I have allergies. The trees have been trying to kill me for years.

No mercy.

Deposit whiskey, receive wisdom.

Toddlers are a close 2nd reason.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Bye week makes it even harder to reach the toilet paper.

Bye uses the last sheet and doesn't replace the roll.

Every second counts

senjohnblutarsky - Prefers TP over the back

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

That fact-nugget definitely needs to make it's way into the spreadsheet.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

Rolls roll the same

Bye prefers single ply.

Every second counts

BYE week creates a power point demonstration to show how much money your company can save by switching to single ply as part of an eco-friendly initiative.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Can't wipe nothin but a rat's ass with one square of single ply.

Sometimes we live no particular way but our own

Is this based on experience?

Ut Prosim Ad Dei Gloriam

What I can't figure out is how the f*ck my organizations can even buy 60 grit sandpaper that is so thin that it immediately rips when you try to pull it off the roll. It's a GDAMN miracle that sh*t even exists. Rant over.

"Don't go to, go through"

Were you also purchased by private equity?

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Nope, state agency.

"Don't go to, go through"

Not wiping my butt at VWCC any time soon, based on that description.
But if the roll is mounted over the back, it has that going for it.

Bye week insists that you pronounce the 'y' in it's name

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

It's pronounced Kevyn

'Bye' breaks all of the McDonald's ice cream machines.

'Bye' thinks polar bears eat penguins.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Bye week thinks the criticism of ACC officiating is out of line.

To quote the Brothers Osborne: "I'm Good For Some But I'm Not For Everyone"

Bye asks you a question and then answers it as if you asked them the question

Onward and upward

Reminds me of another grad student in my old lab. Loved to ask questions in lab meeting (almost always to people whose first language was not English) so she could answer the questions or phrase them like 'for example, I know that ..." Possibly the biggest brown-noser I've ever met, massive narcissist and 1 of 4 people I have given derogatory nicknames to in my adult life.

Edit: oh, and she was a massive Penn State fan. Which further contributed to making PSU my, far-and-away, most detested sports program in the world.

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

people who ask questions, not because they are interested in learning anything about you, but because they want to tell you about themselves absolutely fail the vibe check with me

Onward and upward

Now I've gotta know: What was her nickname? And what were the other three nicknames and why did they get them?

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

These are in chronologic order, not necessarily in order of importance.

(1) Other grad student was snot face. Probably already explained above how she got it.
(2) My ex-fiancé was The Witch - capitalized as it is a proper noun for her. Know I've commented on her before. Will try and find the link.
(3) The wicked witch of the west was a client that I had the intense displeasure of working with. She is the wicked witch of the west because (1) she was a witch, (2) she was based on the west coast and (3) "The Witch" was already taken. She was just a vile, hate-filled human being. Everyone at my company who dealt with her could not stand her. She was in tight with someone higher up in her department. Pretty much everyone else at her company couldn't stand her either. When that senior guy left, she soon "retired". You know. "retired" without an announcement or party. Someone else at the client company told me about it and how glad people were she was gone.
(4) Apologies if this is political, but they were a state-level person, so hopefully will not kick up problems, but this was former NJ Governor Jon "The Buffoon" Corzine. Former head of Goldman & Sacs. Kicked out from there and became Senator. Couldn't screw things up too much there but when he became NJ Governor, he did his best to [censored so as to avoid breaking community political guidelines]. Was kicked out of office and then took over MF Global and managed to drive it into bankruptcy in short order. All kinds of shady issues about what happened to the money there.

Was watching a show on (I think) Bloomberg after this and they were talking about the MF Global collapse and scandal. The reporter asks the guy how did this happen with someone like Corzine at the helm? He ran Goldman & Sacs, he ran New Jersey ...

At this point, the guest dips his head down and mutters like he is trying to avoid saying it - but it is clearly picked up by the mic - "Ran it into the ground."

Recovering scientist working in business consulting

Bye week loves turning back the clocks early and turning the heat on just because it's October.

To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
@VTnerf on insta, @BuryHokie on twitter, #ThanksFrank

Bye week thinks that blue blood college football programs deserve double the money of other programs AND special treatment in next iteration of college football.

BYE thinks only SEC and Big 10 teams should get the first round bye in the 12 team playoff.

Bye week ain't played nobody pawl!

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

They never do. And then they brag that they've never lost!

Bye week uses Cheetos lip balm for the moisturizing properties it promises.

I hate rude behavior in a man. Won't tolerate it.

one click shows Wagoneer's been around TKP for 7 years. Sheesh. Everyone take a nap, have a snickers or something.

Bye Week has strong opinions on toilet paper roll setups

"Why gobble gobble chumps asks such good questions, I will never know." - TheFifthFuller

Bye Week thinks changing your staff to improve your team is ludicrous crap.

Bye Week gets all the calls from ACC officials!

From the 2018 VT-uva game-"This is when LEGENDS are made!"

Miami's Bye Week gets all the calls from ACC officials!

FTFY

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

So many more legs needed

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

Everybody knows Miami's Bye week is rigged.

BYE doesn't think Rudy was offsides.

BYE likes candy corn and gives it out at Thanksgiving.

BYE is responsible for the individual socks that disappear in the laundry.

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

I got no hate for BYE as it frees up my Saturday to do more decking and allows me to take my kids to the pumpkin patch without worrying about missing a game.

"Nooooooooooo!"
~What happened?
"James Franklin to Virginia Tech...."
~Fuck me......*sigh*
"Oh my God.... They're gonna take all our recruits... like WTF bro...."
~*squints eyes in disbelief*

Bye week fooled Stanford fans into thinking last week was their bye.

Bye week keeps me up at night

Bye drops your fishing rods reel-down into the sand.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

In a bunker. Because Bye is fishing in the golf course water hazard.

As a fishing guide, this is extremely triggering.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

My wife and I were at the Outer Banks and watched a kid (13 or so) using a Costco-sized cocktail shrimp ring as bait. Then his girlfriend got bored and he literally dropped the rod into the sand and walked away with her leaving the tackle box and shrimp ring completely open

The seagulls swarmed and obliterated it all and then cleared off within 15 seconds. We were flabbergasted at the kid's actions.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

There's a lot of not very smart people on this planet.

If folks wreck their own gear, it's one thing. Doing it to mine is another, hence the triggered part haha.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

The question is was the shrimp good bait for anything other than the gulls?

Probably was before the kid pulled it out of the freezer.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

Bye week thinks we should save all our timeouts until the final 20 seconds!

"Take care of the little things and the big things will come."

Pry will still have players with the same number on the field at the same time during bye week.

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

No, because the photographer is focused on winning this picture. Only includes things about winning.

Definitely should be

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

Raises the question... if you have a player wearing 0 and another player wearing 00 in on the same play, would that be two penalties or three?

"Don't go to, go through"

Ali used one of those seatbacks?! Explains why he has missed so much time this year.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best, not the other way around.

Plaid this.

Rob Peterson
VTCC
Charlie/Hotel Company
Class of 1999

Absolutely.

If you play it, they will win.

"How the ass pocket will be used, I do not know. Alls I know is, the ass pocket will be used." -The BoD

Betting the O&M under this weekend------>b.street

BYE is known for not just D; shutouts.
Goose eggs. Skunks.

💡
b.street

God Bless!

I hereby dub this thread TTPKP. The Toilet Paper Key Play.

the domain name is available and can be locked down for $31 bucks. Something to chew on, Joe. Think about the targeted ads!

If you're reading this mail me West End London Broil pls

I'm so proud of what I created. From just the tiniest seed, a wonderful, glorious shitflower has blossomed.

Sounds like something that could be wiped away with 2-ply.

But it's probably too late to unsee it.