The best takedown of Loluva football I've ever read.

I don't need to do much except to say this is a fine example of a bored writer assigned to write about UVA football and using the assignment to perform a few lyrical exercises.

A few quotes.

...To tell you the truth, when I'm ticking off ACC programs in my head (a difficult task these days), Virginia, despite being an alleged "founding member" of the ACC, occasionally slips my mind. Much like their fanbase, my brain refuses to acknowledge that Virginia football is a thing.

There's nothing for my brain to latch onto when it comes to Wahoo football. They're the college football equivalent of a sensory deprivation chamber. Word of caution, though: don't stare too deeply into the UVA football abyss, lest it stare back at you.

Virginia? I Don't Hate Them. That's a Problem.

DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.

Comments

That's gold Jerry!

My wife takes the kids and leaves the house while I watch my Hokie games.........nuff said

I've said it all along

We need to stop benchmarking ourselves against that school. They bring absolutely nothing to the table in football and by constantly comparing ourselves to them all we are doing is lowering our own standard

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

How are we benchmarking ourselves against them? They aren't the benchmark, they are the base. We have to beat them because they are the basement, but we are like 23-2 against them in the last 25 games, that's not a rival, that's dominance.

I am not sure who is a good benchmark for us though, WVU, Pitt, Cuse were all good teams in the 90s. Beating Miami always felt great cause we punched up GT should be a good benchmark but they've had trouble moving on from Johnson's offense. Maybe the way Clemson has played the last 3 years they are back to a good comparison program.

Nah, we don't benchmark against them. It's a pure D tickle my fancy pleasure we get to indulge in every single year, nearly without exception. We who live amongst them truly do enoy this dominance, it hasn't always been this way.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

In football? yes 100%. But it would be nice to see VT be the best at something in my lifetime. Win a championship in SOMETHING. UVA has done that 34 times. I don't care if its diving or lacrosse. They have ascended to the top and beat everyone 34 times- we have never done it once. They have baseball and hoops titles too- so its not like all of them are rowing. It would be nice to see VT do that just once.

Brutal!
I had to read it twice.

"It's a Hokie takeover of The Hill ... in Charlottesville!" -Bill Roth

UVAin't worth the time to read the article. Wa-Who were we talking about again?

EDIT: Not saying your efforts are a waste of time but giving UVA any of mine is. Hehe

my only bone of contention is that Clemson has a game on the 9th of November that should draw the author's interest too

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

Thought that too, but we need to do our part over the next 2 weeks to make that game mean something

Ya'all aren't gonna like this but I root for UVA except for when we play them. I dig the Charlottesville area and have lots of friends that went there. They have 30+ national championships in all sports... to our zero. I don't think we want to pull our pants down and see who's is bigger.

...gross.

Not downvotable not downvotable not downvotable not downvotable not downvotable not downvotable...

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Couldn't help myself. Hope they don't take it personally.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

I love Atlanta, have a grad degree from GT, and loads of friends and family who went there. Do I root for GT? Fuck no. Go Hokies and fuck the rest of the acc (unless they're playing UGA, home of the country's most obnoxious fanbase).

After living in Noles country, I don't doubt your assessment, but I know that title has contenders.

A decade on TKP and it's been time well spent.

I live in SWFL, I can assure everyone here that Miami and FSU fans easily at least share that title with Georgia. And that includes living around OSU/Michigan fans for half the year when they're here....

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

Dude, I am so sorry.....

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

You get used to it. Only 5 more years and then we're targeting the Bristol/I-81 corridor of TN area to move to. Would love to live in VA but I'm not a fan of giving any form of government money out of my paycheck

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

My mom lives in Jonesborough, and we travel the 2 hours to see her often. The eastern Tennessee area is really nice and a lot of great neighbors. Good choice.

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

Johnson City/Jonesborough are #s 2 and 3 on our list. Great areas from everything we've read. She can work anywhere (nurse), I'm gonna have to figure out something to do😂

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

As a nurse there are only 2 health care systems in East Tennessee. Ballard Health dominates and they are not good. The other is the huge VA hospital in Johnson City, and they are considered a great employer by locals in that area. Talk to people u know in the area, they'll likely corroborate what I'm saying. The Ballard Health monopoly in that area is it's biggest, and maybe only, downfall (there are lots of positives).

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

We actually know nobody there. All my friends from HS are still in Roanoke or moved to bigger cities. Our families are here, although my parents just retired and are looking in that area as well to spend their summers. So it would be a total restart. Our info comes from various interweb sources and the time that we've spent in TN on vacations

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

If you have school age children, maybe check in on the school systems. Some are better than others.

That's our #1 concern. When we get to move, my daughter will be, at youngest, a rising junior and my youngest son will be a rising freshman.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

We just bought a house in Bristol TN exactly 1 year and 1 day ago and have no regrets. We live in the Fairmount District and the elementary school here seems great. We're just a mile from state street as well.

"Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!"
-Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan

The trick is to live and work in Tennessee, but live close enough to Virginia that you can go shopping there and pay 5% sales tax instead of the 10% in Tennessee. But also Ballad Health sucks and check into the school systems. The city school systems are always better than the county schools. I started in Bristol TN city schools and after my dad moved out of the city, we paid the out of area tuition to avoid Sullivan County schools. Kingsport and Johnson City schools are even better than Bristol.

Bristol is our top target area, we'd try to be in the country a bit- we're kind of tired of the whole "we can see and hear our neighbors" thing and we want a decent piece of land to fence in for dogs to be able to roam a bit

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

Gotta pay for roads and cops and schools and such. It doesn't fall from the sky.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

doesn't VA have better schools and roads than TN though? IDK about cops.

Onward and upward

VA has an income tax, TN doesn't.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

not sure why you caught a DV for this but I evened you out. Fair point

Onward and upward

Deleted.

Reel men fish on Wednesdays

TN has 9.75% sales tax. VA doesn't.

Don't hate the player, hate the game. Let the people who can't drive over the state line pay the 9.75% sales tax.

My dad's from Charlottesville. I also have friends that went there.

I don't let any of that stop me. Neither should you.

As for your last 2 sentences...I just don't care how many different nattys anyone has in underwater basket weaving.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

I was good with your post until you told me what to do.

34 Nattys... $13b endowment... it's just facts... wouldn't trade the Burg for anything and my degrees launched my career... all good! When VT plays UVA I want to crush, otherwise I am good. Why is that offensive to anybody? A lot of "little" people on here.

.....what?? Gimme a break, man. I didn't "tell you what to do," don't be dramatic. I merely suggested.

You clearly don't get where I'm coming from, and I'm too tired to go down this rabbit hole very far. But I'd be willing to bet every person on here that you think is "little" has had at least one interaction with a far littler Wahoo fan/student. Y'know, someone who thinks they are better than you as a person, because of these "facts" you mention. Inherently superior, because they wear blue with their orange instead of maroon.

If you can't give your fellow Hokies a little room to be displeased with these people and have our fun responding in kind, I don't know what to tell you.

To be clear, I don't have a problem if you root for UVA when they aren't playing VT. Have at it if it's what floats your boat. I just took issue with the last sentence or two of your OP and tried to "win" in my reply. Maybe that makes me a "little" person too, it wouldn't be the worst thing I've been called if so. If I went a little far, I apologize.

21st century QBs Undefeated vs UVA:
MV7, MV5, LT3, Grant Wells, Braxton Burmeister, Ryan Willis, Josh Jackson, Jerod Evans, Michael Brewer, Tyrod Taylor, Sean Glennon, and Grant Noel. That's right, UVA. You couldn't beat Grant Noel.

My sister in law, a Hoo alum, once referred to arugula as spicy, and was not kidding. Fuck that school.

Amen- 100% fuck UVA- soft ass pricks.

The only time I ever rooted for UVA was back in the day when they were decent and a win of theirs helped us in getting to the ACCCG.

Football pays the bills. A tip of the cap for their basketball and baseball championships but no one really cares about any of the others. We have individual national champions in wrestling and no one cares about that.

People only bring up non revenue sport national championships bc they aren't good in football.

If you don't want to recruit clowns, don't run a clown show.

"I want to punch people from UVA right in the neck." - Colin Cowherd

Yeah idc about their other titles. Football pays the bills and draws the biggest crowds/TV audiences. I respect the other sports because, well, sports are great in general for kids/young adults. But we're talking football. I'll measure up with them all day. C-Ville is a beautiful area, yes I had friends go there, but I won't root for them unless it helps VT, and even that's painful

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

We don't have zero nattys. We have zero nattys in team, non club sports. 2007 Bass Fishing counts goddammit!

also have a few club rugby

Danny is always open

Pervert

You will see this game, this upset and this sign next on ESPN Sportscenter. Virginia Tech 31 Miami 7

His decision was made after a phone call with longtime Virginia Tech assistant coach Bud Foster. All Foster told him was, "We win. They don't."

We don't wear ascots to football games, that automatically makes ours bigger.
Yes, they have a men's basketball championship and a baseball championship; but nobody gives a shit about their mixed doubles squash championships

uva - the taint of the ACC
Callused perineum is a symptom of being a uva fan

You are correct sir. Dont like it.

I hate rude behavior in a man. Won't tolerate it.

one click shows Wagoneer's been around TKP for 7 years. Sheesh. Everyone take a nap, have a snickers or something.

What is so absolutely frustrating is that, despite all of the author's valid points, UNC and UVA are still the most mentioned schools as being valuable brands for conference realignment.

Maybe not as much with Benett retiring

I don't know what a Hokie is, but God is one of them!

I've also seen this said often and don't understand. I can only believe the people saying UVA is a valuable brand have the same amount of credibility as people saying FSU must have an SEC invite in hand before suing the conference.

Maybe it is their $10+ Billion endowment?

Nah, I don't think that's a factor if Stanford didn't have a big enough endowment to get into the Big 10.

I think this opinion that UVA is a valuable brand is coming from people that aren't fans of or knowledgeable about any teams in the ACC, seeing Virginia as a populous state unrepresented in their conference and UVA as the flagship public university in that state. That's usually the main argument I've seen presented for UVA, with "also basketball" thrown in as an afterthought.

The part of this that is most disappointing to me is that it indicates VT hasn't done enough recently to be widely perceived as the flagship public university in the state.

Looking at the numbers, UVAs endowment is 5x VTs. Their athletic budget is more than VTs, and they won a national title in a revenue sport in the last 10 years. So they are the flagship school in the 12th most populous state

Villanova has won a revenue sports natty more recently than Penn State, does that mean they are the flagship school of Pennsylvania?

End of the day, the flagship school is the one where people just expect more out of their football program. In that light, VT is the flagship of Va

"When I was growing up, Virginia Tech was a school that was kicking ass and taking names, and it's time we get back to that" - James Franklin

Arguably, if football success is the metric, JMU is the flagship school of the state. Ima go vomit now.

I hope it burns.

Sarcastically, but also semi-for real. I'll join you.

Warning- Filter lost.

"Look at this... This is just spectacular.... These people are losing their minds"

Flagship is a made up analogy to a war ship and is meaningless. JMU is not a factor in Virginia beyond the sunbelt conference- which is shit. They have never won a bowl game. The JMU and liberty dick riding will never cease to amaze me. JMU had a very successful 1-aa football program - give them a cookie. VT and UVA will always be "ahead" of JMU in every important and measurable metric.

Often flagships weren't even the biggest baddest ships on the block.

At Jutland, Jellicoe had his flag on the Iron Duke, which was the 6th largest class of battleship in his own fleet and carried the 3rd largest guns, Beatty had his on the Lion which was the 3rd largest battlecruiser,

For all of World War 2, Nimitz, commanding the largest fleet ever put to sea, officially flew his flag from a 2400 ton submarine.

Never Forget #1 Overall Seed UVA 54, #64 UMBC 74

Yeah I don't think it's necessarily wrong for someone to think UVA is the flagship university in Virginia, but it does give me the impression they have never watched UVA play a football game if they present that as an argument for adding UVA to a conference.

I just wanted to bring a little levity to the conversation... UVA is a fantastic school and a fantastic sports school. We own them in Football, yes. But in just about every single other sports and scholastic metric, they win. Now those of us that have experienced both schools personally know that VT is the place to go for fun and lasting friendships. I wouldn't trade a thing. I am just saying it is rather convenient to just yell football football football and forget EVERYTHING else.

That's the whole point.....there's Football.....then there's...........I'm sorry, what else were we talking about?

But will acknowledge Bball. Can't deny that.

Go Hokies!

This is going to be great for the ACC.

I got a master's degree from uva-easiest time ever. But I never root for them-never. I consider beating them in football as making the season at least somewhat successful.

JOHNSTAV

I consider beating them in football a requirement, alongside every other program in the state of Virginia.

But the programs we need to be competitive with in the ACC are Clemson, Miami, (and if they ever make it back) FSU.

That's pretty damn brutal, but is it better than Colin Cowherd's UVA rant? I'm not sure that it is.

"Yes I am going to have favorites. My favorites are high production and low maintenance players, coaches, and staff." - JMFF

I really like them both but it's like deciding between blonds, brunettes and redheads.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

Are you kidding?

All other things being equal, redheads win.

Since neither the broadcast nor the article have hair, in this case the redhead cannot win.

This is going to be great for the ACC.

I mean when deciding between blonds, brunettes and redheads.

That said, variety is the spice of life.

Wasn't there an old saying on here? Something like "this guy f%cks"?

Yeah, I'm being obtuse on purpose.

This is going to be great for the ACC.