I think we found the formula. Hatin' On the other coach...just doing a good (not great) job. Let's put this hypothesis to test.
This week I introduce you to Herbert Lawrence ("Larry") Fedora.
Apparently the proper pronunciation of his last name is "visor".
Why wouldn't he wear an actual fedora...it would be so cool, would give ESPN a reason to talk about him every game, and Indiana Jones wore one...that's just money.
Let's let him have it.
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When asked about his team's poor defensive performance in the last two games against ECU and Clemson, Larry Fedora was quick to point out that their 4th-down defense was perfect.
We did do pretty good, I have to say.
TROLL! jk
Larry Fedora thinks the AFAM department is doing a fantastic job educating athletes
Larry Fedora marks all of his emails as "urgent."
If he sends you a cat picture, he marks it "urgent" and walks down the hall to ask you if you got his email.
Larry Fedora wears a visor to be "ironic"
Exactly. If his name was Larry Visor, he'd wear a Fedora.
I hate that about him.
I'd more likely wear a Stetson.
He's such an i-ron.
He won't wear the hat BECAUSE Indiana Jones wore one.
He shouldn't wear the hat because THE HAT is already coaching in the SEC; he shouldn't wear the visor because about half the coaches in the SEC already wear one and he'd be the worst of that lot. Lose-lose for the Fedora.
Maybe he wears the visor as an homage to his mentor Urban Meyer...and what do you know....they're both quite good at cheating.
Larry Fedora thought this guy's resume was as legitimate as the classes his players were enrolled in.
Fun fact: a Hokie alum helped produce that segment
This guy's title should simply be "Stoner"
Larry Fedora forwards you emails from Nigerian princes
Larry Fedora pushes all of the buttons in the elevator, then takes the stairs.
This comment is not getting the love it deserves.
Larry Fedora said at his last press conference that Bucky is only 6'1" and his average height CBs will have no problem covering him
He just didn't look that tall to me.
Larry Fedora said Bucky's hair does NOT ring a bell
Larry Fedora sits at the mall around holidays to tell kids the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny.
Larry Fedora complained that tipping his fedora to a girl he liked and calling her "m'lady" got him friend-zoned. Like this guy.
So that's what Mangino looks like in a hat.....
Wow. Kansas really needs an image upgrade after Mangino, then Weiss.... Maybe Fedora goes there after UNC fires him? At least he's in good shape!
fedora jokes on the internet really just write themselves.
Larry Fedora once wore a visor to a home game in one of the two Carolinas, before Gamecock fans put a bounty out for his head, (Marcus Vick anyone?) claiming he "swaggerjacked the Ole Ball Coach."
Larry Fedora didn't think the death of krusty's father was a let down
Larry Fedora orders a large bucket of extra crispy fried chicken for himself and only eats the skin.
The skin's the best part. I know it, you know it. We all know it.
Larry Fedora tried to get Jalen Dalton to commit to UNC but the letter of Intent was intercepted by Kendall Fuller and returned to Virginia Tech!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He once held an opponent's wife's hand...in a jar of acid...at a party.
He saves the children, but not blue devil children.
Larry Fedora killed his sensei in a duel, and he never said why.
Larry Fedora moonlights as a jazz pianist under the transparent stage name "Larry Trilby", and gets irate when anyone points out they're really the same person
I was wondering if anyone would mention a trilby.
Larry Fedora mocks all those people who got the iPhone 6 by telling them he already preordered the 7 and it is going to be waaaaaaay better
Even more flexible than this current model.
Larry Fedora read and enjoyed 50 Shades of Grey.
Larry Fedora thinks a "Hat Trick" is when he tells a joke...
Best thing to ever happen for the sex life of men of a certain age. Don't knock the power of that series.
TIL that Egbert is a dom
Here's the funny thing about it.
Remember a couple summers ago, that storm that came through 4th of July weekend and wiped out all the electrical from Chicago through here to the beach?
We took the opportunity to find a state park that still had electricity and went for a week. It had a pool. The moms that were there had the kids in the pool and reading on the side. The number of women that were reading these books was amazing. The number of brand new kindle readers was even more amazing.
I once took a stroll around just to quantify, this relatively small pool. A couple dozen women were reading the paper copies and about a half dozen other women had Kindles (which, could have been anything) but only 3 other women had something else they were reading. No men were reading it at all but there were a few electronic readers. Mostly sports stuff.
This is not at a resort, it's at a state park that mostly caters to skiers in the winter and backpackers in the summer. Almost half the women at the pool had a copy of the book with them at the pool.
ALL the women at work were reading or had read it. I polled, it was 100%.
I asked some friends that are comfortable with that type of conversation, according to those I spoke with, all reported it had an impact and not in a negative way.
You bet I read it, I needed to see what the heck was going on.
So, I just did a little research to talk about impact here.
50 Shades has made a pretty considerable impact on the industry.
It was the fastest selling paperback ever. IT beat Harry Potter easily (yes, I know fortuitous word choice there).
It has sold 70 million copies of the first book in the series by this time last year, in the U.S. alone.
The book spurred sales of Kindle readers. The eBook version has sold 6 times more than print versions and was the first eBook to ever sell more than 1 million copies.
Peak sales - 3 million electronic copies were sold in one month.
There have been 60 separate printings and it has been translated into 50 languages.
Business Insider Magazine number for shades
It has spurred sales of accessories. I am being specifically coy here to help people at work avoid screening routers. The subject matter for the next link may be better not clicked at work.
NY Post on accessorizing.
My noticing at the state park got me curious when I went into Lowe's for repair materials after the storm and noticed ladies in departments where I don't normally see them. A friend that works at a hardware (more of the fortuitous word thing) store told me there was a renewed interest in rope and eye hooks and stuff similar. If it was guys making the purchases it probably wouldn't have been noticed much outside of the guys doing the ordering for the store.
So back to the original poster on this joke. You guys may joke about this stuff but, many of the girls are not.
I recommend communication on the whole issue.
Also, this:
man, all that from a Twilight fanfic
but more power to you bro, and yes, communication is very very important in that department.
I see what you did with the wording but, I'm talking to these kids making fun of the book.
The women are reading it, it is having a frequency impact on the sex lives of men of a certain age.
I suggest the guys stop making fun of it and find out why their women have read it.
Then communicate with their women to find out what it is they like about it. I suspect it's other than just the overt acts.
For something this poorly written, there is some chord that was struck somewhere, it's not the same chord with all women.
Not sure what wording you are referring to. 50 Shades seriously started as a Twilight fan fiction.
"power"
and it still reads like fan fiction, it is seriously not well written. That is one reason we can know it's the content providing the attraction and not the prose.
Ah, gotcha. Thought you might be referring to how it became a cult phenomenon like Twilight. Can't say I've read the book, only heard about it. I have a hard time imagining how they will turn it into a publicly viewable movie. Seems more appropriate for PPV than a theater.
Think psychological thriller with a high "R" rating rather than Skinamax soft core.
haha "power" might have been a Freudian slip on my end.
I won't knock it too much, but...
Larry Fedora also reads Cosmo.
Larry Fedora replies to all with "Thx" to every email.
Larry Fedora likes words like "tax exemption", puffs out his chest, and acquired a taste for free form jazz
That was an excellent spongebob reference
I was hoping someone would pick up on it
I just watched that the other day.
Larry Fedora will invite you over for a movie and then say "You are going to love this part" before every cool scene happens
Larry Fedora will invite your family over for a movie and show The Human Centipede
And will then follow it up with Teeth
THEN HE PLEASES THE CROWD WITH ROYAL TENENBAUMS
...only to let them all down with Big Lebowski
Larry Fedora wishes he thought of "YOU!!" first to send to recruits
Greatest blunder of my coaching carreer.
Larry Fedora hates Dork Magic. He refuses to be fully dipped.
It just looks dirty. Also, I don't like other teams getting pussy touchdowns. I prefer to deny those.
Larry Fedora posts "LOL" under every comment on facebook, even the unfunny ones
lol
EDIT: Whether or not the LOL is capitalized is generationally symptomatic. Fun Fact.
LOL
LOL
Larry Fedora actually believes "LOL" means "Lots Of Love". As in he subtly is telling people to love him more
LOL
Larry Fedora goes on every comment section on the Internet to post "FIRST" even if he isn't the first commenter.
Larry Fedora always grabs the last block of velveeta and can of rotel at the store. Then holds up the checkout line with his book of coupons. Most of which are out of date. And then he calls the manager for a price check.
Larry Fedora owns and wears a replica of Ralphie's pink bunny pajamas.
So what?
Larry Fedora owns a powder blue VW convertible that he drives around campus with the top down listening to Debbie Gibson while singing along.
Larry Fedora hasn't figured out that Han Solo and Indiana Jones were played by the same person.
Larry Fedora thinks Lindsay Lohan is a role model.
Larry Fedora says he is "besties" with Shia LaBeouf.
Larry Fedora still writes checks at the grocery store.
I had a lady to that in front of me the other day
Actually that was me. I like to wear a dress when I go to the grocery store so that no one recognizes me.
Larry Fedora starts arguing with the cashier over 15 cents every time you're behind him in line and in a hurry
I put those fifteen cents into a big jar. Then I take a massive slingshot, and I fire the jar at the highest window of the house belonging to the coach who beat us by the largest margin.
Larry Fedora types in all caps during basketball season.
Larry Fedora still thinks Joffrey is the one true king of Westeros and cried like a baby when he died.
I coach at UNC, what do you expect from me?
I coach at UNC, what do you expect from me?
I like commenting three times on a single post, with two of those comments being identical, and responses to a completely different post.
Larry Fedora posts Game of Thrones spoilers without typing Spoiler Alert or considering those of us who are a season behind.
Sorry, Joffrey dies. It's fantastic, but one of the most entertaining actors on the show is offed.
You bastard...
How did you pull that gif together so fast? Impressive.
I actually just googled "Spoiler Alert" and this was on the first page. Apparently GoT spoilers are fairly common. Who knew?
Larry Fedora loves Noon/12:30 kickoffs.
They're the best. They let me make the most of my visor, keeping the uneven sun of my forehead.
Larry Fedora was the creative "genius" behind Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
He based it on stuff AFAM students told him about Peruvian history, from the country he consistently calls "Peruvia", even when those students try to correct him.
When asked if he was concerned about the bad domestic critical response to early screenings, he said "Don't worry -- the Peruvia box office will more than make up for it."
Also, believing that Han Solo (he thinks that is Harrison Ford's real name) just mailed in his performance, he sabotaged the door of the Millenium Falcon on the set of Star Wars Episode VII "The Republic of AARP". The resulting injury set back filming 2 weeks.
#Sources say Fedora responded with a maniacal grin at hearing the news, and said "2 weeks! Revenge is Mine! In Peruvia they call revenge "Empanadas", and it is very delicious indeed."
Larry Fedora doesn't think workaholics is funny
What are we, a ska band?
Larry Fedoras first name is Herbert (this one is actually true)
And it's pronounced "Kevin".
Somebody read my post last week!!!!
Leg for you!!!!
Larry Fedora calls it "The Twitter".
"The Twitters"*
"El Tweeterino."
Larry Fedora started Brandon Pettigrew over Eric Ebron in his fantasy team on Sunday
Local reaction to Larry Fedora's recent visit to Canada:
Larry Fedora always refers to himself in the third person.
"Larry Fedora likes Elaine".
Larry's got a compound fracture! Larry's going into shock! Larry holds grudges.
Larry Fedora was upset when Felicity cut her hair, also he watched Felicity
I now watch her doing fx-softcore-sex scenes in The Americans
Larry Fedora's parents thought it was a good idea to name their son Herbert.
Larry Fedora puts a tomato based barbecue sauce on his pulled pork sandwich.
Larry Fedora attempts to start drag races when stopped at lights in his 2005 Toyota Corolla.
Larry Fedora parks in handicapped spaces for "just a minute" while he grocery shops.
Larry Fedora changes the channel at every commercial break during a football game and doesn't change it back till he sees another commercial break, missing entire drives.
Larry Fedora insists on cutting all of the sleeves off of his t-shirts.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Larry Fedora watches reality show reruns.
Larry Fedora thinks mustard-based BBQ sauce is just alright
Larry Fedora sucks his thumb with his butt.
Larry Fedora bobs for apples in the toilet, and he likes it.
The brown ones are the best ones.
Larry Fedora doesn't like cake OR pie.
He'd rather eat that peach and cottage cheese thingy and then drink a Tab.
#TeamCelary.
Larry Fedora doesn't know how to spell celery.
Actually, I like eating celars.
Larry Fedora has temper tantrums when his players won't return the favor after a nice back and shoulder rub.
Larry Fedora is Vegan.
It's a quinoa.
Larry, you are such a douche, bro.
You know, a lot of people say that. But I just keep doing what I do.
larry fedora thinks hes the dean smith of football
I kind of am.
FIRST
After reading this whole thread, this one made me bust out laughing. Well done to you, mysterious stranger
I'm hoping this is NitWhitt. You gotta create this thread and then be the target coach every week.
F*cking first...
OUT OF CHARACTER: I am actually not NitWhitt, though I am an established member of the comunity.
IN CHARACTER: I am simply the best coach in the entire ACC and anyone who disagrees can suck it.
Larry Fedora can't spell community.
I cant spiel lot's off thing's.
Larry Fedora can't spell "UNC," and neither can his players. But they all got credit for Comparative Literature.
Wait, it's UNC?
This is absolute gold!
Only wish I was clever enough to have thought of it. Definitely think someone should assume the opposing coach's identity every week (assuming this isn't really HLF??) !!!
OUT OF CHARACTER: I'm thinking about renaming the account every week.
IN CHARACTER: LARRY FEDORA RULES!!!
OUT OF CHARACTER AGAIN: Oh god, I can't log out...
Be careful, you may get stuck like Dana Carvey.
larry fedora always uses 2 fingers... no matter what!
seeeeeee
and his wife is okay with that...
Oh man, don't get me started.
I lost it. You win.
Jeez,I hope the actual Larry Fedora doesn't read this. lol
There will be much letter writing. Mostly to penthouse.
larry fedora whistles and pssssttt's at your girlfriend when your in the mall and thinks hes slye enough to only get her attention and that you wont notice.
I didn't know Fedora was spanish
Si! Yo soy... Fedorando!
Larry Fedora is a brony and he doesn't care who knows it
Larry Fedora bought the $ 100 Olive Garden all you can eat pasta for 7 weeks... and only ate there once.
The other nights I went in, grabbed some pasta. Then threw it straight into the dumpster.
This is too good
Larry Fedora wants to grow a neck beard.
Larry Fedora thinks Jeff Gordon's just a cereal box model.
Leg for the King of the Hill reference. One of my favorite episodes.
Larry Fedora was able to spend today posting on these threads because he thinks his defense turned a corner on Saturday.
I have aaalll damn day. I'm planning on talenting and cheating my way to victory. Who needs discipline?
Larry Fedora puts empty cartons of milk back into the fridge.
It's to remind the other users of the fridge that we need milk.
Larry Fedora thought Bud's defense was soft, so he tried something else.
Larry Fedora's has his wife bring him orange slices and a Capri-Sun as a snack during halftime
Larry Fedora hangs out at laundromats, pretending to casually read a magazine. When someone walks away from a load of whites, he jumps up and throws a new red t-shirt into the washer.
Larry Fedora pumps the last bit of coffee out of the carafe, doesn't make a new pot, and sneaks around the corner so no one sees him, knowing full well that everyone knows it's him.
Larry Fedora hover squats over the toilet in his own house and doesn't clean up.
Larry Fedora steals toilet paper from mcdonalds bathrooms and stands by the bathroom door to witness his cleverness on some poor unsuspecting soul with the runs.
#poohhumor
Larry Fedora pronounces "gif" with a "J"
Choosy head coaches choose gif.
Larry, you sir, are on fire
Larry Fedora took the blue pill
And it was delicious. Tasted like suspension of disbelief.
When giving a powerpoint presentation, Larry Fedora reads word for word off of his slides.
He also likes to animate them by having the words fly in one letter at a time with the typewritter sound!
Larry Fedora paid for the new U2 album
ugh....i put U2 on the same level as Nickelback.....
larry fedora blocks TPK on the work internet and claims its a social network!
and then blames it on HR
Larry Fedora thought that Kendall should have been his own man and gone to Klempson instead of following his brothers footsteps
larry fedora is the kind of guy who puts stickers from every team in the country on his helmet during the senior bowl
Larry Fedora buys the jersey from the Super Bowl winning team every year and claims that they've always been his team.
Larry Fedora says "Statue of Limitations" and "For all intensive purposes" and "I could care less" and "Scotch free"
...and he uses "Duck" tape
It's just the best tape.
make it stop MAKE IT STOP!!
"Larry" is actually the illegitimate son of Oddjob and Carmen Sandiego.
Larry went on to further produce his own bastard child after "experimenting" with his college roommate Skeeter Valentine which he named after himself Herbert (pronounced Kevin) Federline
Larry Fedora, not to be outshined by Frank Beamer, let ECU trounce them at home so that he could say that his team let ECU win better.
Nice one, O' New KeyPlay commenter. Nice one , indeed.
I bet Fedora does a lot of "jockeying" around with his players too!
ACC broadcasts, they'll get after ya!
Larry Fedora didn't cry when Prince Oberyn died.
MOAR SPOILERS!!!
Are people reading the books and haven't gotten to that point yet? If you haven't watched the show by this point and have avoided hearing about it for this, well done. I couldn't make it til the Tuesday after the show aired to have people at work talk about it.
Is it considered a spoiler if its been 6 months?
My inability to wait for the show to be put online is what led to me buying HBO.
Yeah after one week IMO all bets are off.
But seriously when Oberyn died my fiancee and I were speechless for so long. If there are three nights I remember on twitter it was when we killed Bin Laden, the Lexington Police Scanner night, and the night GoT killed Oberyn.
Larry reheats last night's leftover Tilapia in the office microwave
I don't put a paper towel over it either. I only use paper towels as toiletpaper when I'm going in the sink.
I'll just leave this here.
Oh my god...the memories! This game single handedly (along with Beast, and my brother's ID) got me in academic probation my freshman year!
Larry Fedora says the bus is full and leaves you sitting at the bus stop when there is clearly plenty more room on the bus.
lerry fedora doesnt get up and offer his seat to standing women and elders when the bus is standing room only.
Larry Fedora can't spot the crazy person on the bus...
Slightly OT: UNC trying to troll us on our own turf?
That's been showing up for as long as Joe has had ads on the site. I always thought it was funny.
I've been getting adverts for ECU.
Larry Fedora's resume is in multiple variants of Comic Sans.
Considering the "academic standards" for UNC athletics, I'm surprised it's not in crayon.
Larry Fedora makes change in both the offering basket and a homeless person's cup.
larry fedora orders off the dollar menu and then tries to pay with a $100 bill.
Nope. Pays in pennies. And counts them. And loses count and starts over. In the drive-through.
If I don't use them they just go to waste.
Larry Fedora takes candy from a baby.
UNC head football coach Larry Fedora thinks TKP's Larry Fedora is not funny.
Indiana Jones called...
Larry Fedora invites everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner...
...and serves Tofurkey.
That's just heartless and cold blooded.
I think we've found the perfect balance. 2-0.
UNC is kept to 3 points in the first half and includes a goal line stand and Fedora says it's not because Bud's defense is any good.