We're 2 for 2 (3 for 3 if you count the brief hatin' on CPJ before the Dook game) with the new formula. This week's target, Paul Chryst.
Much like Larry Visor, he always uses 2 fingers...
Unlike CeeLo London, he knows how to call a timeout.
(unfortunately, the game hadn't started yet)
Enjoy the hatin'...remember...good, not great!
Go Hokies...break the course of the half empty pro stadium.
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Comments
Paul Chryst cites Wikipedia.
Where do you think I got my offensive schemes?
Paul Chryst claims he's Jesus's brother
I don't like the Steelers, Cindy Crosby and the Pens and I don't like Pitt..the people of the city are fairly nice but don't like their sports teams.
While I support your dislike of all things Pittsburgh, this thread is reserved to purely making factual-ish statements about Paul Chryst.
Scientificstudies have shown that if we do a good, not great, job at this then we will win.An example would be Paul Chryst likes Sidney Crosby.
Remember when the Kid went and won the final game of the 2010 Olympics against the United States? That was a great moment.
I hate you
OUT OF CHARACTER: Good. Good. That means it's working.
IN CHARACTER: Good. Good. That means it's working.
'Merica
Paul Chryst likes people to pronounce his name "Christ" so he can tell them he's the second coming.
Paul Chryst enjoys everyone being PC.
Paul Chryst is a false prophet trying to start his own religion.
I'm only false if you don't buy in.
This statement only proves that Paul Chryst is just as much of an awful person as Seth 'Traitorface' Rollins.
Paul Chryst thinks PJ is a great coach and this his antics are hilarious
Paul Chryst thinks he invented the Bacon Bowl.
Anything in a bacon bowl would be automatically delicious.
While true, Paul Chryst takes his talents door to door selling Bacon Bowls... and causes your father to become irate, because he interrupted the family dinner.
Paul Chryst takes a coat hanger to the bathroom with him at the office (cause he can't poop with his shirt on).
I keep my pants on though. And when I say on, I mean, I don't even drop them.
Paul Chryst thinks Lou Holtz can pronounce his name properly without spitting.
Paul Chryst killed Kenny
Paul Chryst asked him mom is he could go we-we in the potty
Paul Chryst demands that you pronounce his name with a soft "ch" then yells at you for pronouncing his name wrong.
We need to bring in Spilly for this, he'll gladly contribute
Also this
MY SPECIALTY!!!
Paul Chryst throws a family Chrystmas party but donates to his charity in each person's name rather than give out gifts.
I one received a "Christmas Bonus" from an employer in just this fashion.
Sounds like Chryst is one to hand out Jelly of the Month Club memberships instead of Christmas Bonuses...
Best Christmas movie EVER!
WHERE'S THE TYLENOL?
Epic.
Agree ABM4VT - this is on my must watch Christmas Movie list every year.
Can watch year round LOL
what. a. dick.
It's the gift that keeps on givin'
You beat me to that quote
"It's the gift that just keeps on giving"
Paul Chryst wears a leisure suit to your family Christmas party and looks wanting-ly over your family's shoulder for a handout from your Christmas Bonus.
The best part of the movie...i have used this gif myself....leg for you sir
Paul Chryst thinks playing in a half-full NFL stadium is a recruiting boost.
Better than a completely empty Sun Life stadium.
Still more fans than at a UVA spring game...
Which brings me to my next point:
-Paul Chryst is tired of UVA spring game jokes.
I hate 'em. They're just not funny anymore. Neither is dork magic, or pussy touchdowns.
You really don't belong here....
I belong at a sandwich shop...
Paul Chryst hates that it's an O's-Royals ALCS and thinks it should be Sawx-Yankees.
Paul Chryst thinks the ACC should be the 'All Chryst Conference'.
Paul Chryst drops a can of beer then gives it to you.
Paul Chryst gives kids floss and pencils as Halloween gifts.
Paul Chryst hates the little Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
Paul Chryst enjoyed Jersey Shore for the plot.
Paul Chrsyt loves going to the dentist.
Paul Chryst looks forward to his teams chance at playing in 'The Ebowla'.
paul chryst asks for a measurement on 4th and goal when clearly hes about this far from the touchdown
Actually I was trying to order a sandwich...
Wait they have a Wang.... and it's this big??????????
If you ask for a measurement on anything ....and goal, you are an idiot.
and thats why paul chryst does it
look up...
Paul Chryst wears Sex Panther cologne by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
One of the best scenes (and quotes)
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
[cheesy grin]
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.
Brian Fantana: Well... Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
[snarls]
paul chryst tries to convience david cutcliff that 5* WRs do want to go to GT
This is hard to admit... but I was giving Dave my sandwich order...
Man, you're always hungry...you must have a tapeworm.
That's what he uses to measure.
Paul Chryst thought that his offense let him down last year and that Dadi played "ok"
I've seen more stellar defensive ends. He was only playing 62% out of his mind.
paul chryst will text you not to text and drive.
pual chryst owns 4 of these.
Paul Chryst claims to be Vegan... Well except for chicken, and fish. Oh, and hamburgers from Wendys.
Paul Chryst orders BBQ at Wendy's
He told me it must be good, there's pigtails on the signs.
Paul Chryst has a night light
It's to protect me from Bud Foster. He scares me.
Paul Chryst hits on the cashier at the gas station while you're behind him in line. Then he tries to pay with a check.
Pitt thought they could turn their program around with Paul Chryst. Too bad it doesn't work without a Russell Wilson, a Montee Ball and a Wisconsin-quality offensive line.
Oh and Paul Chryst thought Jar Jar Binks was a valuable addition to the Star Wars franchise.
Wait, I said PJ Fleck liked Jar Jar binks.
Oh whoops. Maybe both of them like him?
Paul Chryst pronounces his name "Kevin".
Paul Chryst calls jerseys "tops".
"Jersey Tops"
Coach P.C. carefully reads the terms of service of all license agreements of all websites, before accepting like he planned to do all along.
Is this GIF at all relevant?
The premise of the episode is that buried inside the iTunes License&Terms is a clause that gives Steve Jobs the right to do pretty much whatever he wants with you. Everyone reads the whole thing and doesn't agree to them, except Kyle (green hat kid) and a few others. They get forced into the next big Apple product, the "human cent-iPad", seen above
Oooohhhh... I get it now!
lol, but also very disturbing gif
I have you avatar sitting on my desk.
Ah yes, cuttlefish and asparagus. Very good.
Paul Chryst gets excited about Christmas day bowls. He likes to call it putting the Chryst back in Christmas.
Paul Chryst thinks VT would have been great the last few seasons if it weren't for the sub-par defensive performance.
Paul Chryst owns no less than 8 cats.
They're named Mike London, Al Golden, Paul Johnson, Whiskers, David Cutcliffe, Dabo Swinney, Jimbo, Jumbo, Gumbo, and Bobby Petrino.
Paul Chryst thought Tom Savage needed an 8th year of eligibility.
Paul Chryst gives out career advice to other people in the Wal-Mart line.
Paul Chryst doesn't like cherry starburst, and prefers the chewy Spree's.
Paul Chryst gives out pictures of himself to trick or treaters.
Paul Chryst thinks the rose bowl should be changed to the "chrysanthemum" bowl.
Sorry, excuse me just going back inside my hovel.
Thank you for your time.
Paul Chryst has a tramp stamp.
Where did you get this photo? Did 4-Chan leak it during the fappening? I took that picture of myself to send to my wife. Not the internet.
we'll always have the fappening Paul
Paul Chryst thinks no flag against the DB covering Justin Hamilton in the 2003 game was the correct call.
We won that game!
dude that shit. . .
Paul Chryst only orders a diet coke from the clubhouse at the turn...and calls it in from the start of the 8th hole.
paul chryst doesnt understand why his recruiting specialist doesnt get more verbal commits over the phone.
Off topic, I believe I have met this individual in the photo. Was this taken i n St. Louis?
Paul Chryst would like to implement Georgia Tech's offensive scheme at Pitt, but it's to complicated for him to figure out.
There's just so many options...
Paul Chryst loves creamed spinach
Bro, have you looked at me? What I love is sandwiches. In my mouth. All the time. All day. Everyday.
paul chryst runs goal line offense on madden the whole game with 85 bears and puts william the fridge perry at RB! says its the closest he can get to his offense. then unplugs his connection when he starts losing.
Right this minute Paul Chryst is lobbying ESPN to reschedule Thursday's game for a noon kickoff because he heard everyone loves noon games, and he believes that having one during the work week would probably win over a lot of new fans.
Paul Chryst cancelled his spring game. Really.
Paul Chryst is "cool with the ACC being a Basketball conference."
Paul Chryst is "diggin' the new ACC logo."
The new logo looks fantastic. Also, if the ACC is a basketball conference I can hide away from the public eye more easily.
paul chryst thinks only SEC coaches should have a vote in the coaches poll and that you should be able to vote for your own team.
Paul Chryst lets his players freely transfer to arch rivals.
Yes, that actually happened.
Paul Chryst used to be a hot up and coming name in the coaching profession.
oh wait.
Paul Chryst thinks Frank Beamer won't get after him.
Paul Chryst purposely leaves 2 or 3 random legos on the floor for you to step on with your bare feet.
Damn, dude...those loose Legos WILL get after ya.
Paul Chryst pulls the crust off of his bread before he eats it.
Paul Chryst owns a cravat.
On a scale of 1-to-10, 10 being NOT cool, Paul Chryst is a dufus.
Paul Chryst got picked last for kickball in the 2nd grade......by the 1st grade team.
Paul Chryst eats raw oysters in June.
Paul Chryst thinks 'Pitt' is cooler that 'Pittsburgh' but insists on saying 'Kentucky Fried Chicken.'
Paul Chryst waits until the last second to merge when a he sees a 'lane closed ahead' sign.
Paul Chryst thinks 'H-back' is a racial slur.
Paul Chryst thinks you can tripple-stamp a double-stamp.
Paul Chryst believes Frank Beamer sold his naming rights to BMW. He's been trying to sell his own to Chrysler for years.
(sing-song children's voices) Paul Chryst lii-ikes Milhouse!
Paul Chryst wears flip-flops with jeans
Wait...What's wrong with this? I hate socks and won't wear sneakers without them, but sometimes it's to cold for shorts.
Oh man it grinds my gears. If its cold enough for jeans then why the heck are you wearing flip flops?! I know your feet have to be freezing.
Edit: nevermind.
I feel you on this
Paul Chryst always forgets to add the "h" at the end of Pittsburgh.
And the SH instead of the P
Sorry, that Browns butt-whooping on the Squeelers just has me all full of pittstucky hate leading up to this game
We have a Pittsburg (minus h) where I live. They have a good HS football team. Paul Chryst probably called the NCAA recruiting violation office on them
Paul Chryst doesn't think Mark May talks too fast
I did a lot of cocaine back in the day.
Uhh that was yesterday...
I said the day. Not which day.
Paul Chryst thinks it's smart to keep giving his stud rb the rock in garbage time, and also play him on defense.
He calls it trying to win the game. Most other people call it assassinating a pro career.
Paul Chryst takes clock management tips from Mike London
Paul Chryst spells Sam Rogers name with a D
Paul Chryst uses white wire for a hot wire
Paul Chryst puts hot water on the right and cold on the left
Paul Chryst uses the left hand rule on nuts and bolts
Paul Chryst adds water to acid
We exchange notes. So far what we have determined is that once a half you get some unknown number that's bigger than 2. If only someone could count that high to determine the exact number...
Paul Chryst replies to the wrong posts.
Paul Chryst says he didn't really want Shai McKenzie anyways
Paul Chryst has a secret life as a rodeo clown. He's rated as the top clown in Pennsylvania, and number 3 nationally. When asked about his success, all he could say was, "I owe it to football, and Subway."
paul chryst gets a TKP account and gets more turkey legs while being hated on than most members get in a year. and he doesnt give any back himself.
Paul Chryst says "Picksbird."
Paul Chryst laughs at the end of "Ol' Yeller"
Laughter is often a way to mask the pain.
Paul Chryst catfishes himself.
Paul Chryst won't let you merge onto the highway in front of him in traffic. Because he's a dick.
This happened to you on your commute to work this morning, didn't it.
Paul Chryst is best friends with my professor and told her to SCHEDULE MY 2 HOUR EXAM AT 7PM ON THURSDAY!!!
Well, that's just very unfunny. I'm so sorry.
Drop the class. It's the only realistic option.
I may or may not have done this while a student.
Better this one than next one
Yes. Thankfully I'm not an engineer, so I don't have to contend with that potential level of evil.
The orchestra I play in has a dress rehearsal from 7-930. Guess who will be watching the game on their music stand?
Don't worry if you cheer too loudly. The violinists are easily startled, but will soon be back and in greater numbers.
Pete Townsend?
Coach Chryst thinks its helpful to use "literally" to describe things that are easily understandable.
i.e. "It literally took 5 minutes"
...or when there's no way it's true...
"I literally haven't eaten in a thousand years."
Theres a how I met your mother reference here...
Probably. Because everything has a HIMYM reference. But I was imagining (and changed) the Big Bang Theory one:
Zack (Penny's BF): I haven't been to a comic book store in literally a million years.
Sheldon: Literally? Literally a million years??!!
Thats a good one. I was going for the glass shattering episode of HIMYM where Robin keeps using "literally" incorrectly
I've told you a million times to stop exaggerating.
Paul Chryst thinks Dorothy Mantooth is not a saint.
Paul Chryst uses "there", "their" and "they're" interchangeably...because theiy're's is no difference.
Paul Chryst think that Pop-Tarts are a "suitable alternative" to Pie
He calls them pocket pies.
Paul Chryst walks three-wide with his gal-pals on the sidewalk in Georgetown, chitty-chatting about a dress he can only find on-line, while everyone has to walk on the street to get around them.
(note: this one just happened and seemed appropriate)
You should be allowed to trip those people
But if I trip I have trouble getting up. And for what it's worth, I never travel with more than two people. After that it gets confusing.
Paul Chryst doesn't know what "yinz" means.
Paul Chryst thinks a gum band is a bunch of old people singing.
When Paul Chryst's neighbor told him about the crick in the woods behind his house, Paul Chryst said, "Oh, yeah - well, I have a crick in my neck."
Paul Chryst thinks Troy Pomalamalu should get a hair cut. (PC also doesn't know how to spell or say Troy's name.)
What does yinz mean?
ya'll plus 3.
turkey leg fer all y'all.
Is that the one after two?
No - that would be Potato.
Leg for Pamalamalu. I'm dying over here.
Paul Chryst comes to a complete stop in the EZ-pass lane at toolbooths
After travelling to Boston & back from NY this weekend, I've just about had my fill of toll plazas… I always seem to get the car in front of me at the cash lane that either has no cash or wants directions.
It was Paul Chryst!
Paul Chryst eats cupcakes with a fork.
and he eats his peas one at time...
Look at me. You think I eat peas?
Obligatory:
Paul Chryst wear Crocks with socks
And thinks Magnum PI would have looked better without the mustache
Paul Chryst collects Pogs.
Maybe he would buy mine. I have a whole binder of them that smell like sadness and 1994.
Millhouse would buy your pogs...
I collected POGS but never actually played with them. I had an awesome slammer.
Was an 8-ball. LOL
Paul Chryst once opened up a sandwich shop to sell a sandwich of his own creation: the monte chrysto. Unfortunately the economic costs of putting panther meat in a sandwich soon led to the ultimate demise of his sandwich based dreams and he had to turn to his other calling in life, eyebrow modeling. Now it takes a special kind of photographer to understand the perfect angles at which to show a model's eyebrows, and Paul Christ, being the intelligent fellow that he is, realized he could get his eyebrows shown on national TV by the excellent cameramen of ESPN. After working his way into football, he slowly headed toward the eyebrow mecca of the United States: Pittsburgh. He hopes his modeling will one day cause people to paint his eyes and eyebrows on buildings so he can watch over "new Gotham" as he has started calling the city...
Noice... Leg!
Where have you been? We've missed your special humor!
Paul Chryst was actually the guy that had traffic stopped on that bridge in NY/NJ and let some other guy take the blame.
paul chryst thinks the 6th fuller will commit to pitt
paul chryst goes to Lowe's and asks for help finding a Spanish tape measure
Paul Chryst hates bourbon.
It tastes like badness.
Paul Chryst thinks Kyshoen Jarrett is soft
Paul Chryst over-emphasises the h when pronouncing his last name.
Paul Chryst gets iced then thanks everyone for the drink
Paul Chryst communicates only in emoji texts
Paul Chryst criticizes your food and makes a disgusted face while you're eating it.