It's Turkey Week, the end of the regular season for many college teams, only the Big East, Pac-10 and conference championship games are left. My how time has flown by this season. In honor of Wednesday night, one of the best drinking nights all year, Thanksgiving and its great rivalry games I present you a double Six Pick! Ham, turkey, stuffing and family rule Thursday, but college football dominates on Friday and Saturday. Sadly, there are just too many good games this weekend, so even selecting twelve leaves some games on the chopping block, like Florida at F$U or GiT at ugga. Due to time constraints and the number of previews I would have to write, a Google image search, rudimentary Photoshopping and a quick caption is this week's write up. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this a 24,000 word column. Who's really going to read my gibberish for a dozen games anyway?
No, I have not made my picks yet, I will sometime on Thursday, fat and happy on honey smoked turkey from my Bubba Keg Smoker. This is the week to make up ground down in the pick ‘em standings.
Thanksgiving Thursday, November 25th
The Lonestar Showdown - 17 aTm -3 at Tejas 8:00 pm ESPN
They do everything big in Tejas ... be it a bonfire or advertisement for fornication. I approve.
Black Friday, November 26th
The Backyard Brawl - w-FN-vu at P.I.T.T. -2 noon ABC
I weep with joy thinking back to the 2007 game, which might be the only time after a big game the Wannstache had an expression other than the one above.
***
The Iron Bowl - 2 Auburn at 11 Bammer -4 2:30 pm CBS
You pick, beating Bama and get 2 coeds on your arm or beating Auburn and get another tat of The Bear or Nick Saban.
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21 Zona at 1 Oregon -18 7:00 pm ESPN
The mid 90's Wildcats' Desert Swarm is the exact type of defense to beat the Ducks' spread. While Oregon further proves mucho Fulmer Cup points equals a highly ranked football team.
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4 Boise State -14.5 at 19 Nevada 10:15 pm ESPN2
Irony defined, every Bronco fan owns this Mr. Potato Head, but feel insulted at tater jokes? Nevada football literally has nine images in existence and they all get recycled infinitely.
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Saturday, November 27th
The Battle for the Commonwealth Cup - uva at 16 VT -23.5 noon ACC Network
The Hoos typically get thrown from their horse in the house that Beamer built. Lately though, it's a trend that's traveled.
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The Battle of the Land Grants - 10 Michigan State -1.5 at State Penn noon ESPN
Like my friends @solidverbal say, the old man from UP is a carbon copy of Joe Pa. Then there's this creepy Spartan.
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The Game - MissAgain at 8 theOhioState -17.5 noon ABC
Somehow, I don't think DickRod will ever be the Bo to the Senator's Woody.
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23 NC State -2.5 at Maryland 3:30 ESPN2
The BCO has a healthy amount of respect for the talent in Raleigh and the drinking prowess of the Turtle.
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The Battle for the Golden Boot - 5 LSU at 12 Ar-kan-saw -3.5 3:30 pm CBS
Here's some hog pig sooie name #FAIL.
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The Battle of the Palmetto State - 18 Souf Cackalacki -3 at Klempson 7:00 ESPN2
The most exciting 25 seconds with a coed or the most exciting 25 seconds in college football, your call.
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Bedlam - 13 Oklahoma at 9 Okie State -2.5 8:00 pm ABC
The Boz was a man well before forty.
Beer of the lonnnnng weekend:
A good, easy drinking stout from Charlottesville... like the hoos, it takes a while to knock you on your ass.
Comments
Texas A&M Pitt Auburn Arizona
Texas A&M
Pitt
Auburn
Arizona with points, Oregon to win
Boise State
Hokies
Sparty
Ohio State
NC State - Great picture
LSU
Clemson
Fighting Gundys
HG's picks
Texas A&M
Pitt
Alabama
Oregon
Boise State
Virginia Tech
Michigan State
Ohio State
North Carolina State
Arkansas
South Carolina
Oklahoma State
making a run of the table now,
Texas
mountainqueers
Bama
Oregon
Boise
UVAG
Spartans
Ohio State
NC State
Arkansas
South Carolina
Okie State
everybody wins with picture matchups
1) Tejas
2) Pitt
3) Auburn (because the alternative is Boise in the MNC)
4) Arizona
5) Boise
6) Hokies
7) Michigan State
8) Michigan
9) NC State
10) LSU
11) South Carolina
12) OK State
there is no I in team, but there is in win
A&M-- they are like our cousins
Pitt-- I hate WVU since Marcus flipped em off
Cam Newton--he is Auburn
ORagain-- I lived there, thats how we pronounce it
Mr. Potato Head-- Nevada is garbage
UVGay-- FB will pull the first string non seniors by the 2nd
Sparty-- JoePA wont know where his car is to get to the game
tOHst-- They'll lose but Denard will have 300 yards of offense
NCState-- ugh, replay in Charlotte. i could just insert the tape from Oct.
Geaux Tigers-- scrappy lil team
the real USC-- uhhhh Garcia, Lattimore, and Jeffreys alone make up that offense
Okie State-- this is like watching the kids play dueling banjo's in deliverance.
double six
aggs
pitt burg
bam bam
ducks
nev
HOKIES
mich st
mich
nc state
lsu
scacky
oki state
Let's put a bow on this puppy!
To stay out of the basement....
1. A&M. Texas has nothing...just what Mack Brown deserves. (On a side note, who would you rather have as your Heisman winner...Reggie or Vince?) A&M 38 Tejas 20
2. Pitt, somebody has to eventually win this thing. 3-0 in 7 overtimes.
3. Auburn, outright. All players that are on the take win big games. It's a rule, look it up. Aub 32 Bammer 17
4. Oregon. Quack attack. What is the color combo this week? Win-by-28-on-white. Oregon 52 Zona 24
5. Boise. Nevada is good, Boise is great, they reign supreme. Boise 62 Nevada 10
6. VT. Duh. Stiney will ruin a complete blowout... Hokies 38 Whos 10
7. Penn State. Sparty cant win there. PSU 27 Sparty 23
8. Meeeeshigan. 17.5 is too much for the sweater. Ohio State 42 Michigan 30
9. Twerps. Who knows. NCS 28 MD 27
10. LSU. Its not your Kansas, Its not my Kansas, Its OurKansas. But not this weekend... Hatter 23 OurKansas 20
11. Souf Cackalacki. The ol ball coach remembers how its done. Usc 33 Clemson 27
12. Cowboys! They MAY put up 600 yards of total offense...at least they have the guns to. OKSt 48 OK 24
Beer this weekend is cleaning up all the stragglers from this year, some Miller Lite to wash it down, and the yearly Beaujolais Nouveau (cheap French wine) in a head nod to the Zima crew at UVA.
my picks
aTm
cousins, can almost see them playing vt in the orange bowl. hype.
bammer
oregon
taters, on a mission from Gahd.
uva, to keep it close and only lose by 3 td's
tosu, senator pwnage of missagain continues. dickrod ...fired.
state
lsu, the hatter gets it done ... somehow
souf cacklacki, if any good team can fuck it up ... it will be the cocks.
okie st
heads up...
missed the land grant game...
thnx
state penn.
Happy drinking and eating day.
aTm
Ugh, WVU (I guess?)
Bama all day
Oregon
Nevada (Wishful thinking)
Ditka
Sparty
OSU and its going to be embarrasing
Wolfpack, get ready for the rematch!!
Arkansas
USC
OU, but I really dont care
doing my picks already hammered
i love holidays.
time to put joe out of his misery
ps i'm drinking molson canadian, fuck off
Texas
Pitt
Auburn
Oregon
Boise
VT
Mich St
Michigan (afraid of that hook)
NC St
LSU
Clemson
Okla
have a happy thanksgiving dudes
On the way to Charlotte!
A&M
Wf'nVU ('cuz I work w/ 2 Pitt alums and enjoy talkin' smack)
Bama to blow up the BCS part 1.....oh yes...and to make the $EC CG as relevent as the ACC CG.
Oregon....hate, hate, hate
Boysee, to blow up the BCS part 2
VT....hate, hate, hate, hate
Sparty, just better
Oh, hi, oh st8
NC state for a rematch
LSU; i don't know why, and it really doesn't matter unless: auburn, oregon, and BSU or TCU lose
Clemson....cuz sutherncackalacki don't get up for this one....waitin' for next week
OK St8; on a roll and at home.
Let's blow up the BCS: Oregon vs Boysee; lose to DI-AA and play; have 4 losses & play ($EC (if S. Car), Big Least teams). New Year's could be fun.
Enjoy the Turkey.
better yet ...
i expect to see you at my pad at 2:30 tomorrow for the iron bowl.
i got beers to share.
Thankful
the 6 pack in my fridge I am most thankful for ...
Dogfish Head Bitches Brew Stout
Sierra Nevada Homegrown Estate Wet Hop Ale
Bear Republic Hop Rod Rye
Stone Lukcy Bastartd
New Belgium Ranger IPA
Founders Breakfast Stout
nice group
The Bitches Brew is awesome, at least on tap. Got a few bottles to keep for a special occasion. (I think we're hitting the brew pub fro lunch and beer Monday.)
Sierra is the bomb, no matter what it is (Except the tumbler...wasn't real keen on it.) But the wet hop is really tasty stuff.
And the New Belgium is a sold one, just as you would expect from them.
I might have to break in to the Heavy Seas Mutiny fleet that I have gathered.
Enjoy!!!
Picks
These picks are coming courtesy of Joe-Mobile:
aTm
Couch Burners
Auburn
Oregon
Nevada
Hokies
Sparty
Michigan
NC State
LSU
Clemson
Oklahoma
Day three of my binge continues with Winter Lager. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
A&M WVU Auburn Oregon Boise
A&M
WVU
Auburn
Oregon
Boise State
VT
Michigan State
Michigan
NC State
USC
Oklahoma
Heres to a 12-0 week
ATM
WFnU
Tigers
Oregon
Boise
UVgay but VT win
Spartans
Missy Gan
Twerps
ArKansas
Tigers
OK State
Picks
Post Thanksgiving, food induced coma picks.
aTm
W effen VU
Auburn
Oregon
Boise
VT
State of Michigan
Michigan
NC State as rights for ACCA on the line
LSU
Clemson
Oklahoma
Beer of the day: Jolly Pumpkin La Parcella
Black Friday Picks
So I missed the aTm pick tonight. Mark me for -1 b/c I would have picked Texas. Big surprise that I am already down by one. Whatever. Don't get mad. I got drunk last night and tonight I drank more. Instead telling you what beer brought you my awful picks at the end, I am going to tell you what I drank today/tonight.
-Cocktails - Henesy, Cointreau, Apple Brandy, Cranberry Liqueur, bitters and lime.
-Champange
-Red Wine
-Rose
-White Wine
-Red Wine
The order of the drinks may be wrong but I didn't have a beer. Sorry and on to the Friday picks.
WVU - The backyard brawl is the WT Bowl. Don't believe me? I am from Pittsburgh and I know all about it. I sort of like Pitt but I hate WVU. That means WVU will win so that is why I am picking them. I have a great story about going to see Va Tech play there in 1999 for another time. Pitt is set to win small East so that means that WVU will win.
War Eagles or Tigers - This is a hard one to pick. This is one of thousands games every year that I want both teams to lose.
Ducks - The Ducks almost lost last week. They won't do it this week. Stoops will make Bo Pelini look like Eli Manning on valium after 8 bowls of alaskan green. That being said, put your money on Zona.
Boise St. - If Boise St. plays an awful game they won't cover. If they play a mediocre game the will win by 30. Last week shows they can dominate you if they are asleep as I will be soon. I will be tivoing this game as I will be going see A Christmas Carol play tomorrow night. No word how many drinks I will have before I watch the game.
That is all the picks for now, more tomorrow.
Seattle Hokie -1
+1
That's the only time Manning shows any emotion.
Small Business Saturday Picks
I have to be quick b/c I my wife and I went to a play and then watched the Boise St loss and of course I had many drinks. I need to be up at 7 am to take care of the dogs b/c of the awful 9:00 am start, which we haven't had in weeks. I told my wife tonight that now the Boise St fans, especially the two that yelled in my face after they beat us, know how we felt. I hope they enjoy it and are suffering.
UVA - Its too big a number but I would pick UVA no matter what. They are poised to beat us this year b/c the streak does have to end somewhere. Also, what are we playing for? We need to get healthy and I think we will be playing relaxed while this is UVA's bowl game and national championship game.
Michigan St - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. What a great made up rivalry this is. The Big 10 +1 +1 really knows how to match up two teams for rivalry week that really don't care for, wait, I mean care about playing.
Ohio St - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ squared. ESPN cannot make this better than class A high school game.
NC St - Maryland doesn't come through in the clutch, ever.
LSU - Drake Nevis makes mincemeat of Mallett.
South Carolina - I will go with 25 seconds with a coed. Or the brawl these two teams had a few years ago.
Oklahoma - I want Oklahoma St to win. That means they won't.
Tomorrow will be the usual. Go Hokies.