Recently, Mark Berman had a blog post titled "Virginia Tech to move wheelchair-using fans to give donors courtside seats" in which he detailed the athletic departments decision to move the media and some wheelchair accessible spots to make room for donor courtside seats. Nevermind the fact that the AD is doubling the number of wheelchair accessible seats at the same time.
Let's go ahead and write some other click-bait headlines for him.
Rules:
-headline must be technically true, but sensationalized
-story must relate to VT athletics
-after the headline, you have to explain the actual situation (you know, no inside jokes)
Example:
"Future HOF head coach replaced by inexperienced position coach before a nationally televised game" (Shane standing in for Frank at the military bowl)
Comments
"Is Bud Foster's loyalty to Frank Beamer running out?" (reports of Bud interviewing anywhere else)
"Complete coaching overhaul expected with hiring of new AD" (basketball)
Headline: Douche Reporter for VT Basketball Continues Being A Douche
Explanation: this is actually a really funny story. there's this massive tool that has zero journalistic talent who reports on VT basketball so he uses sensationalized headlines as clickbait because otherwise he would be out of a job.
They're onto me!
"Two Starting Safeties Leave Football Team for Academic Reasons"
Jarrett and Bonner graduate
"Virginia Tech wide receiver Danny Coale drops game winning overtime catch, replay officials confirm"
(Danny Coale caught the ball.)
Right in the feels
Short grumpy reporter replaced with chimpanzee, ratings increase.
"Virginia Tech Coaches Found at Child's Home"
Bud and Torrian hit the recruiting trail.
Frank Beamer refuses to speak with team, staff; nepotism reigns; Bud Foster driven to tears
-the story of the 2014 Military Bowl
...and yes I am aware that it breaks every rule for this thread, and for that I sincerely apologize! :)
upvote for your sincerity.
"VT and TN ADs agree to play, but only if the stands are binocular-lengths away." - Battle of Bristol
"VT destroys half of their practice field with attention-grabbing building" - Indoor Practice Facility
"VT hires basketball coach that has ended every season with a loss" - Despite Buzz being in the sweet 16 3 times, and elite 8 once.
"Foster plans to revamp 1st team defense after spring game."
"Jim Weaver requests noon kickoff, Hokie Nation Shows up 60-Thousand Strong to Lane in Support"
(Berman scheduling.)
"VT students show displeasure with team's performance by boycotting Lane Stadium."
-VT played an away game this week.
Hokie basketball is winless.
"Hokies yet again miss goal of recruiting 7' center". In other news, VT announces signing 6-11 center....
"Virginia Tech hires former Marquette coach who abandoned team in disgrace after lowest win total in a half decade"
Michael Brewer is making a good rapport with Kendall Fuller in practice
(Kendall Fuller being a Fuller, and Michael Brewer being... Well, I don't really know. Bad?)
Edit: Because apparently I can't grammar
Rapport?
Fixed, thank you!
Reparte?
I've never heard of this guy - he sounds like a jerk.
Take that as a blessing.
Well also, to be fair, it's off season, there's blood in the water...
eh?
After sellout streak ends, Athletic Department resorts to using some other teams' mascot to pump up listless crowd
(HOAT video reference)
so what you're saying is...we need get a gorram turkey on a treadmill!!!
or at the very least the hokiebird.
"Virginia Tech posts season-low yardage totals and season-high number of turnovers in outing with Ohio State"