(sorry after running the table after the loss in the 'shoe...he has been knighted by the almighty ESPN and we are required to use Sir before his name when speaking publicly...all hail Disney)
We had mixed success with this fandom method last season. However, there is no doubt it went very well against anOSU last year (when SevenLayersofPlayers started it Link).
Let's start the year off right.
Repeats from last year are always welcome...improvements on them are better...and originals are the besties!
I won the toss...so I'll kick off:
- Sir Urban Meyer believes the NFL was right in suspending Tom Brady.
- Sir Urban Meyer thinks the bear defense is a cute little novelty.
- Sir Urban Meyer thinks Dadi just his nickname.
Forums:
DISCLAIMER: Forum topics may not have been written or edited by The Key Play staff.
Comments
Urban has been suspiciously quiet with regard to conference bias in college football since he left Utah and started coaching at traditional powerhouse universities...
Same goes for getting his life priorities straight.
Sir Urban Meyer always saves the last slice of pizza
forto eat in front of you....from his golf cart in the concourse...
At least we had the honor of playing in a conference championship ;) all kidding aside- yall beat us last year fair and square. Excited to come to Blacksburg and see Lane
But.......but that's a nice thing....?....
Not when it's covered with his salty tears...
SUM wears crocs, and just in case, he keeps an extra pair in his fanny pack.
Urban Meyer plays ball like a girl.
Sir Urban Meyer doesn't think Fully Dipped in Dork Magic is a real thing.
Urban Meyer attempts to deny my pussy touchdowns.
Can't believe it hadn't been said yet
Sir Urban, or as he prefers, "S'Urban", has never been kicked out of an Applebee's.
"S'Urban" prefers his name to be eerily reminiscent of "S'aban," his personal hero.
Sir Urban Meyer never tips the pizza delivery guy.
Urban Meyer has already pledged to support Kanye in 2020.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks it's OK if Kanye redistributes awards as he sees fit.
Sir Urban Meyer doesnt think Bucky Hodges is that tall
Sir Urban Meyer parks between the lines, straight and center, every time.
Unless he parks behind you
EDIT: WITHDRAWN
Urban Meyer has a selfie stick.
Sir Urban used to hunt Turkey in the fall, but it ended up being a Bear of a task to kill one, so he quit.
Sir Urban Meyer's doctors are on high alert for this game
This is actually pretty funny, but I hope no one thinks he actually faked a heart attack. His health problems were real and as I read up on his last years at Florida, I have realized he was a truly sick man. I believe he became so obssesed with winning that he let stress take over his life and sacrificed every relationship he had. Almost immediately after winning his 2nd national title he locked himself in his office and began calling recruits. His staff had to break down the door it was so bad. His own daughters despised him because he literally never showed up for them during his last years at Florida. I love Urban, but he really dropped the ball his last years in FL and allowed himself to lose sight of what really matters. But anybody who thinks he faked a heart attack to make up an excuse for losing is an idiot. Sorry, just had to get that out. Proceed with the Urban jokes!
Speaking for everyone here...no, we would never think that.
But now that we know he's okay...we have a little fun with it.
By all means, continue with mockery! Its all fair game. I know the folks over on 11W have some good Beamer GIFS going.
Are they dancing Beamer or "who farted?" Beamer?
Tonight I hope to see both!
Urban Meyer roots for the Yankees, Cowboys, Lakers, and Jeff Gordon.
FTFY
Urban Meyer roots for the Yankees, Cowboys, Lakers, and
Jeff Gordon Jimmie JohnsonHendrick Motorsports.FTFMyself
"I like Jeff Gordon! He's handsome!" -- Bobby Hill? S'Urban Meyer? WHO SAID IT BEST???
http://youtu.be/eHY67AzsfsY
Anyone nowadays that roots for the pathetic team referred to as the Lake Show, might actually not be a total front runner and could be described as a borderline loyal fan.
He doesn't actually WATCH basketball, he just loves his Lakers, and their two star players, Shaq and Kobe.
Swaggy P is S'Urban's shit
Urban Meyer just missed on sharing the name of a popular bologna.
....but just like Oscar Meyer he is still a little wiener.
Urban Meyer thinks Daniel LaRusso is the Karate Kid
Jaden Smith is the only Karate Kid that Sir Urban Meyer knows.
Sir Urban Meyer has Aaron Hernandez on Speed Dial for those late night chats!
Sir Urban Meyer has never had an opening win over a team that beat him in the previous year's championship season.
Urban Meyers brothers name is Suburban.
Urban Meyer tips his fedora and says m'Lady when he greats Samantha Ponder.
Despite what his own eyes told him a year ago, Sir Urban Meyer continues to believe that Sam Rogers is a myth.
... and Sir Urban Meyer spells it Rodgers.
Urban Meyer leaves the toilet seat up
That's odd, cause he pees sitting down.
Well played, good sir!
And still manages to pee on the seat somehow
Can you imagine how some of our less than cordial 11W brethren would react to this thread (assuming they didn't get it)? rabble rabble would be a major understatement
Someone create a thread on there linking to this thread? I'd love to see their comments, and would really love it if they had a Beamer/Foster rebuttal.
Something about Nickleback
You mean like "they're awesome"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sir Urban thinks Enter Sandman is one of Nickleback's best songs
Urban Meyer yells "YOLO" while eating an entire sleeve of Double Stuf Oreos, even if no one else is around
Leg simply b/c "Freeman" is a revered Hokie name.
If you say you didn't read that in his voice you're lying
Sir Urban Meyer hates pie AND cake
Urban is #TeamTofuJello
Urban Meyer changed his name in the late 80s because "Rural Meyer" didn't sound very good.
it's actually just a stage name, born of his undying love of Keith Urban music and Oscar Meyer hotdogs.
Actually, his real name is Urbane Meyer.
Sir Urban coaches the unanimous #1 team in the country. Sir Urban is undefeated since last we met. Sir Urban is our guest in our house on Monday. Sir Urban is deserving of our respect, if not our admiration. All hail Sir Urban.
Now, let us beat Sir Urban like a rented mule.
Urban Meyer Eats Bowls of Dicks
Man, that took some thinking and some time. I love giving legs, but I really wish I could give you more for that bowl of dicks.
WHERE'S DICK VITALE, BAAABBYYYYY??
Sir Urban Meyer thinks Kalvin Cline is a clothing line.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks Tim Tebow is a better quarterback than Tyrod Taylor.
Urban Meyer used his Papa John's discount last year.
Sir Urban thinks Danny Coale dropped it.
Winner!!!!
Is, "Sir" the correct pronoun?
It's pronounced "Kevin"
I'm so proud this has become a thing.
Sir Urban agreed the Seahawks should have passed from the 1 YD line with the Super Bowl on the line.
Sir Urban is right on that one.
http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/a-head-coach-botched-the-end-of-the-...
Sir Urban Meyer doesn't think Danny caught the ball.
Sir Urban Meyer takes mints from Pizza Hut without putting a penny in the box.
Sir Urban Meyer uses the free wet wipes at the cart isle of the grocery store to blow his nose. He then puts them in his pocket for later.
Sir Urban Meyer calls disability lawyers and takes them up on the free consultation just to have someone to talk to.
Sir Urban Meyer's favorite soda is caffeine free Mountain Dew.
Urban Meyer prefers RC Cola
Sir Urban Meyer bought a Mission Accomplished shirt
Sir Urban Meyer talks on his phone while he's in the stall next to you
all the engineers on this site be all like:
What is this from?
With my limited backward reading skills, I see:
Physical Feature = Genitalia(Male, Female, Animal?) + (-bag, -wipe, -muncher)
better off ted
Great show. Cancelled before its time.
The white guy finds he is really bad at insults so he studies other people's insults until he can make a formula for it.
"Hey, it's Glasses and Mustache."
Sum drinks water from the Ice Shot louge.
could be worse. Sir Urban Meyer gets drunk and takes a leak in your ice shot luge...
A lot of Naval Aviation callsigns are acronyms, often related to an embarrassing story. A friend's brother is stuck with BOIL, for barfs on ice luge, because apparently that happened at someone's wedding.
Urban Meyer thinks quarterbacks shouldn't play at tight end
Sir Urban Meyer was asked: 'If you could only eat ONE of the following: Cow, Pig or Chicken, for the rest of your life, which would you choose?' He chose: pizza in a golf cart on a concourse....
Sir Urban Meyer hates Brad Paisley AND Metallica......
If a vacancy suddenly came open at Virginia Tech and Sir Urban Meyer were named the new head coach, Hokies everywhere would be doing black flips and having spontaneous orgasms.
I know. Been there. :)
Sir Urban Meyer does back flips while having spontaneous orgasms while riding on an Amish buggy.
I love how nonsensical this is.
Clearly there is no room for logic and sound reasoning on this blog.
Thats SIR Urban Meyer to you! Oh, nevermind.
BTW this thread is hilarious! And im a buckeye
We do one for every game.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks that the Seahawks should have passed the ball in Super Bowl 49.
DRINK!!!
Sir Urban Meyer sends his offense back out on 4th and 4, has them do a lot of motioning and yelling, then calls a timeout to punt.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks Aaron Hernandez is innocent!
SUM sits on the TV and watches the couch.
Highly underated contribution right here. My favorite of the thread so far. And so totally Leonard.
AHAHAHAHAHAH This is totally Leonard. Seriously had me laughing
What? Too good.
Sir Urban Meyer picks the urinal directly next to you when there are six others unoccupied.
SUM gets out of the shower to pee...
SUM doesn't alternate when merging lanes when the Dulles Toll Road 267 connects with Highway 66 in Tysons.
wow, I really hope that's a russian dashboard cam and not NOVA
Texas is also a viable option.
This happened to me in a bowling alley parking lot in Fairfax, so it is definitely in NOVA. Gave a guy the finger when I he pulled out in front of me pulling into the lot. He boxed me in and pointed a gun at my girlfriend and gave the old Clint Eastwood before pulling away. I don't give the finger to strangers anymore.
As someone who's had a few close calls of that nature over the years, and only once did I actually shoot the guy a bird (richly deserved), I think you have a good plan. Too many assholes out there, and nowadays, waaay too many of them are armed.
Not to get political but frustrating that people don't respect the the firearm that they may be carrying and point it at whatever. In my line of work if you point a gun at me that means it's go time and your ready to back up your "gun pointing". You don't point guns at people unless you intend on pulling the tigger. Most places it's a crime to pull a gun without good reason. Pretty sure va is one of them.
Sir Urban Meyer stops dead in the middle of a busy sidewalk to check his phone.
And gets mad when he gets called Offensive phone interference.
SUM doesn't acknowledge people that hold the door for him
Sir Urban was OK with Pluto being stripped of planetary status.
SUM doesn't think any joke ending with a Uranus punchline is funny.
But then he applauded when it was given back.
Sir Urban Meyer thought Jar Jar Binks was a great addition to the Star Wars franchise.
S'Urban then cast Hayden Christensen in the role of Annakin.
(Ok I used the same one last year)
Sir Urban told Joe Theismann to break a leg before a game against the Giants.
urban meyer sued nickelodeon for using his likability in ED, ED, AND EDDY
Is the meta joke here that Ed, Edd, and Eddy was a Cartoon Network show?
Sir Urban Meyer offered Chaska Moon $20 to trade names.
Sir Urban Meyer has a crush on Cersei Lannister and cried when King Joffrey died.
SUM was also happy when Jon Snow died and wants him to stay dead.
Sir Urban Meyer is a Bolton.
Sir Urban always gives the sideline reporter his full undivided attention before halftime.
SUM has never heard of
Mount MckinleyMount Denali and doesn't care.Urban Meyer thinks Nina and Vincent Sr are bad parents.
Sir Urban Meyer doesn't think The Hokie Pokie is was its all about.
Sir Urban thinks stick it in was too inappropriate
urbanmeyer@osu.edu was and still is registered on Ashley Madison
Sir Urban thinks "barbecue" means grilling hamburgers and hot dogs.
On a GAS grill.
Urban Meyer excelled at paper mache' in grade school.
Al Gore claimed he created the internet, then Urban Meyer claimed he created Al Gore.
Urban Meyer holds his nose when he jumps in pools.
Urban Meyer's secret pleasure is to pose on AOL chat rooms as 'Sachmo.'
Urban Meyer begged his parents for braces even though he didn't need them so he could 'fit in.'
Urban Meyer thinks dolphins are invertebrates because they swim.
Urban Meyers farts when using public urinals and then says 'Skewsie!'
Sachmo... The trumpet player or the monster?
Urban Meyer want to hire Al Groh as his next DC and Mike London as his special assistant in charge of time outs.
He thinks that will help him beat Virginia Tech.
Well...AlGroh does have more wins against us.
SUM doesn't understand anOSU.
SUM will greet CFB before the game with a "looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays"
So far this is my favorite.
sir Urbane Meyer is sad that Michigan is losing to Utah.
Sir Urban Meyer was a goonie and said "die"
Sir Urban Meyer roots against James Bond
Sir Urban Meyer thinks chuck norris is overrated
Sir Urban Meyer thinks Milwaukee's Best Light is the best
One of Sir Urban Meyer's favorite pastimes is to talk about fight club
This one actually makes me hate UM.
Urb prefers the taste of Beast Ice to bourbon
Sir Urban Meyer wants to switch to metric.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks UCB Kroger is the Gucci Kroger
Sir urban Meyer finds the terms Gucci Kroger and ghetto Kroger classist, racist, and sexist
Sir Urban Meyer Prefers Food Lion
He thinks he now has to act Surly.
SUM drinks the last cup of coffee at work and doesn't make a new pot
That bastard.
Funny. That was exactly your response when you found out the brains were trying to learn things....
OH! I got another one! SUM likes to learn things!
SUM killed Kenny...
Urban Meyer is still looking for a job in his major
SUM intentionally pees on the toilet seat and doesn't flush after dropping a deuce.
SUM price checks over half the items in his cart and doesn't buy any of them.
SUM drives down the shoulder of the highway when there's traffic.
Correction: SUM Flushes, but only after dropping an Upper Decker.
For those who don't know:
You got my Leg! Luvs me some "Urban" dictionary!
Urban Meyer thinks turning on his hazard lights is a license to stop in the middle of a busy street.
Sir Urban Meyer is actually a goldsmith and wins championships so he can melt the gold from the rings to create "the golden pizza".
SUM never plays by house rules in a game of beer pong. He makes up his own.
SUM always brings chips and salsa from the store whenever there's a potluck.
SUM brings PBR/Beast/Natty Light to a BYOB and drinks everyone else's craft beer.
SUM took Charlie Weiss to prom.
SUM thinks justin beiber is the artist of this era.
SUM does not like horses on treadmills.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks that Raiders owner has awesome hair.
Friar Tuck owns the Raiders?
Sir Urban Meyer is the guy who yells "I'm drafting Tim Tebow" in the first round of his fantasy draft as a joke.
Urban Meyer always stops at 'South of the Border'
Sir Urban Meyer does crossfit.... and then posts his workout statistics on facebook.
Sir Urban Meyer Instagrams his food
SUM loves the idea of fining players. says they have plenty of money after selling autographs and bowl game rings right? also see sir Jim tressell
SUM needs you to reset his password. He didn't realize caps lock was on
Urban Meyer asks SIRI about himself.
SUM chooses the center stall at work when the other two are open.
Sir Urban Meyer believes the moon landing was a hoax
Sir Urban Meyer gently dabs the grease off of his pizza with a paper towel before taking a bite.
Sir Urban Meyer thoroughly reads the iTunes Terms & Conditions before accepting them
Urban Meyer pregames to Little River Band
Sir Urban Meyer thinks Mike London's clock management skills are 'okay'
SUM...does not compute
Urban Meyer got 'I-O' tattooed on the back of his hand so he would know what to yell back when anyone yelled "O-H"
Urban Meyer dots the 'H' instead of the 'I'
Sir Urban Meyer actually believes there will be 20-30,000 anOSU fans in Lane Stadium Monday night.
Sir Urban Meyer idolizes Thomas Jefferson and insists he be called Mr. Jefferson.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks the LEGO 'Everything is awesome' song is......not awesome.
Sir Urban Meyer has a CavMan outfit in his closet.
Sir Urban Meyer waits until the lane runs out to merge on highways
I have a friend who's a traffic engineer who chewed me out for merging early in the lane. It didn't matter that I was up to speed. He insisted I was screwing up a wel planned traffic flow by not waiting til the end of the lane
If I see people racing up to the front to merge, I start a wedge by driving my car in the middle of both lanes and ensuring every car start their merge behind me. I make no apologies for this.
Is that you, Urban?
I think the anOSu bus is coming through NoVa...disguised as a black escalade. I just saw this and flipped them off.
that might be the sercret service or the FBI, best to keep that bird caged
Must be the same idiot TE that programs the lights on Parham Rd in Richmond.
I kissed urban meyer's wife and I liked it.. taste of her cherry chap stick
Didn't get a whiff of pizza while there, did ya?
whoosh
I think at least...
eh so did half the florida gators football players. not really that big of a deal. lol
were half the florida gators football players chicks? And did Katy Perry write a song about the event?
Urban Meyer always has more than 10 items but still uses the express line:
And when it comes time to pay, he writes a check.
After he cuts out his coupons.
pssh at least he used a check when he was in front of you. I had to sit there while he counted out pennies from his change purse.
And price checks every item
Sir Urban Meyer prefers Blockbuster to Netflix
and only rents Little House on the Prairie reruns.
That's because Urban prefers VHS.
And he doesn't rewind his videotapes
Urban Meyer prefers that you use the initials for Coach Urban Meyer to refer to him.
Sir Urban Meyer passes "GO" and collects $200 on his way to jail.
Sir Urban Meyer empties his car ash tray in Walmart parking lots.
The Urban Meyer does not abide
Perhaps you mean anUrban Meyer?
thanks for the assist
Sir Urban Meyer wants to be referred to as "The Donald".
SUM is the result of the addition of a sequence of numbers.
That one gave me a laugh/snort!
SUM doesn't get that joke.
Given the state of our engineering schools, this should be the most legged comment on this post.
Sir Urban Meyer thinks the term "Urban Legend" refers to him
Sir Urban thinks Carol Lee's are "just ok"
Urban Meyer stands left.
" " "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take" -Wayne Gretzky" -Michael Scott" -Sir Urban Meyer
SUM likes to be drawn like a French girl
this is one of the greatest things I've even seen on this site.
Thanks! Just a quick little bit of photoshop... nothing too difficult to it!
Meyer does the Hokie Pokie, but doesn't turn himself around. And does not think it's what it is all about.
Sir Urban Meyer can neither "whip" nor "nae nae"
SUM agrees with the OSU recruit who thought VT acted entitled after winning last year in the shoe.
SUM thinks Mark Leal should start.
Sir Urban's favorite 'Stone is Steve Tyler.
His favorite Beatle is Peter Noone.
He thinks the prophecy was about Neville Longbottom.
He didn't let the Wookie win (and was forced to retire from coaching to recover).
Arms will be ripped off. Where can I find this "Urban" fellow?
SUM doesnt think it was a catch ...
Drink
SUM still doesn't think it was a catch.
To prepare for the Bear Defense, SUM watched "Grizzly Man".
...Gentle Ben
Urban Meyer is the kind of guy to try to call time out as the opposing kicker is winding up for a kick off with 1:55 remaining and he's already up by 18.