Yep...we've moved on from coaches. We have decided to attack the very core of the opponents strength...their mascot(s).
This week, we hate on the fluffy, cartoonish "wolf" couple known as Mr. and Mrs. Wuf. Not to be "that guy"...but why isn't it "Woof".
Mr. Wuf debuted with in the 1950s when cheerleaders would dress up like a wolf. No idea when/how it offically became Mr. Wuf (and didn't have the desire to spend the energy it took to click a link to find out). Mrs. Wuf first appeared in 1975. After six years of hearing "where do you think this relationship is going" and "do you think we will ever get married", Mr. Wuf decided he wanted to lower his risk for heart disease and decided to marry that gal (*according to a 2006 University of California study, married men are 40% less likely to die from heart disease...but 100% more likely to die from "accidental brake cutting"). In a touching ceremony that was conducted by the Wake Forest Demon Deacon. That sound weird to anyone else?
Oh...and here's one for you. Her name was Mrs. Wuf before they got married! So the innocent and pure Mr. Wuf married another wolf's wife...or a relative. Stew on that for a minute.
...And they actually renewed their vows, again conducted by the Demon Deacon.
Vows
Oh and in 2010, due to fan outcry to bring back live animals on the sidelines (seriously...in this day they WANTED a live animal), they introduced a Tamaskan dog (not a wolf...really? missed an opportunity here), Tuffy. TUFFY??? TUFFY??? For some reason that one doesn't make me shake in my boots.
"Who's a boo?...Who's a boo-boo?...Who's a boo-boo-boo?...Mmmwwaa...Mmmwwaa!!!
"What do you feed your dog? He seems miserable"
Comments
...D'aaaww I want to love Tuffy!
Er...I mean...
Mr. Wolf actually met Mrs. Wolf in this episode of Looney Tunes at the club:
Tex Avery cartoon, actually. Notice it's actually a woman in that dress, not a male rabbit in drag.
ok now we're just splitting hairs (+1)
ok now we're just splitting hairs (hares?)
I once played Mr. Wuf in ping pong and won.
Mr. Wuf sucks at ping pong.
Mr. and Mrs. Wuf think sugar cookies should be allowed in a football stadium.
Tuffy is a schnoodle
I think I found out who's a good boy
Mr. Wuf had an affair with little red riding hood
"My, what big ____ you have"
Q: How does lil red riding hood hold her liquor?
A: By the ears
I feel horrible for laughing at that. Especially after the news out of Indiana University today.
oops..hadn't heard about that...
I don't think you did anything wrong. It still made me laugh.
What makes this even worse is that ATO is the "leadership" fraternity.
Mrs. Wuf makes tofu chili.
Hey! I like that dish!
But you're probably not a meat eating wolf...
I was for awhile but
Mr. Wuf is actually Wayne from Hotel Transylvania
.
Mrs. Wuf's poodle skirt...is actually made from a poodle
Mr. Wuf convinced Mrs. Wuf that she got it from a tractor
The Wufs think breed speciic legislation is perfectly acceptable
Mr. Wuf thinks steak should be cooked "well done"
Mrs. Wuf doesn't let her steaks rest
Mr. Wuf cheated on Mrs. Wuf with the Delaware Blue Hen
Mrs. Wuf thinks Ronda Rousey is a poor role model for women
Mr. Wuf thinks Ronda Rousey is ugly
Pictures of Ronda Rousey (if you don't know who she is)
I don't know how it happened, but somehow over the course of the past year, I changed my mind and realized how hot Rousey is. DAAYUUUM.
Between the Hardee's commercial and her appearance on SportsCenter last night, it's now certain that, when she's not knocking out Brazilian women in less than a minute's time, Miss Rousey cleans up quite nicely.
Mr and Mrs Wuf prefer their bbq meat extra dry with zero vinegar based sauces.
Mrs. Wuf is actually Chuck Amato.
That explains the red shoes.
Mr. Wuf believes that only purebred descendants of NC State alumni should be allowed to attend the university. He thinks that those "filthy mudbloods" should be sent to ECU instead.
It's pronounced "Kevin."
Next time I'm working that into the introduction.
Can we get an explanation as to the origin of this? I laugh every time I see it, but I have no idea where it came from.
It's been a running joke on here because of The League reference and because of a reddit thread. But my use of it goes back a while. Here's the story:
Kevin
Mr. and Mrs. Wuf don't see anything wrong with the team's perpetually soft OOC schedule.
That's a fucking cute dog
Call me a downer, but lets hate after we win the damn game.
Downer
Sure put the brakes on this thread...
Hokie11 likes Mr Wuf
Mr. and Mrs. Wuf do it missionary
hahaha
For the sole purpose of procreation.
FIFY
Word around the mascot circles is that Mrs. Wuf is a real bitch.
Mr. Wuf licks himself in the middle of the game and if you say anything he just blindly stares at you and acts like you're the a-hole.
Seriously, how lame is it to have married mascots?
Hearing from multiple sources that Mr. Wuf cheated on Mrs. Wuf with Wilma from UA, putting their relationship status (as well as future little wuf's) in jeopardy.
Neither Mr. Wuf, Mrs. Wuf nor Tuffy think Emma Watson is good looking.
Mr. Wuf endorses the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt
(...and if you are not familiar with the TWM tee, click HERE and be sure to read the reviews :D)
Mr and Mrs Wuf think that this was a good tackle.
After getting dragged on the above tackle attempt, Earl Wolff changed his last name to Wuf to protect his identity.
Mr. Wuf's smarter brother:
Suck it, Wufs!
We struck gold.
So, does this mean we get to Hate On Sebastian next week?
It's Miami week, let's hate on anything and everything.
Yes! Because it's socially irresponsible to hate on a hurricane.