Since it worked last week...it has to work this week (feel like I just applied for Offensive Coordinator)...
This week's addition of Hatin' On is a a day early...because, it's Miami week...more time to hate!!! (...and I have a client event tomorrow...but mostly because we hate Miami).
I introduce you to "Sebastian the Ibis":
(would be like us calling ours "Hokiebird, the hokiebird")
Miami adopted a native marsh bird called the Ibis as the official mascot in 1926. The Ibis is known for its bravery as a hurricane approaches. Folklore maintains that other birds look to the Ibis for leadership. The Ibis uses its instinct to detect danger. It is the last sign of wildlife to take shelter before a hurricane hits, giving warning that danger is imminent. As the storm passes the Ibis is the first to reappear, a sign that clear skies are approaching (according to the "History of the University Miami")
At some point they dropped the smoking pipe (which is just responsible parenting)
Funny enough, the first Miami mascot appeared in 1950 and was a boxer dog named Hurricane wearing a orange and green blanket.
honestly, wouldn't a pitbull be a better current mascot?
Hate on!!!
Comments
Muck Fiami
FIFY.
oh..thanks
I have sex daily
oo..i mean..dyslexia....silly me
So you're saying you don't have sex daily like the rest of us?
believe whatever makes you happy...I'm not sure TKP is interested in my sex life ;p
I'm pretty sure you're lying, because I'm pretty sure you're married.
it's an ambiguous statement. He could be saying that I'm like the rest of you in that I don't have sex daily. Or he could be saying what you interpreted that unlike the rest of you I'm not having sex daily.
I guess technically I should have said "unlike" to effectively get my point across. Fact of the matter is, GoKart just rained on my parade and now everyone knows I too am dyslexic.
I just realized I read "like" but interpreted it as unlike. I'm going to back away slowly and never speak of this again.
Sebastian will require reconstructive surgery later in life for doing this too many times:
Grandma always said, "if you cross your beak too many times, it'll get stuck that way!"
Ibises (sp?) use their beaks to clear impacted fecal matter from the anuses of other ibises.
This isn't just something I made up for Hatin' On. That's the honest to God truth.
And Miami chose that to be their mascot on the sidelines.
This makes a lot of sense. Because when you say "ibis" kinda fast, it sounds like the acronym for Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
"The Egyptian enema proceedings imitated the ibis bird, similar to the stork, which used its beak, filled with seawater, to insert into its anus for evacuation."clicky
Makes sense then that Sebastian would team up with the "Toilet Duck" brand. And with a logo like a toilet seat and the team name of a swirlie, somebody has to make that connection...
Might as well be our beloved
Surely I am not the only one who did this. Let's see em.
I really want the plural of ibis to be ibisi
so...Miami's mascot is a duck who wants to be popeye when he grows up? How is this at all emblematic of their football team? I don't see how hookers, boat parties, or cocaine are represented by Sebastian.
His pipe is fully of blow.
Sebastian is nothing but a second rate duck!
When you play golf with Sebastian, he always says "Nice putt!" right before it goes in....then it lips out.
Every freaking time.
He also picks up his ball if it's within 8 feet of the cup and says "That one's good"
He also yells "get in the hole" every time Tiget tees off on par-5s.
The "Get-in-the-hole" guy is worse than the "fan-behind-home-plate-on-the-phone-asking-the-other-person-if-he-is-on-tv-so-he-can-wave" guy
Sebastian disappears well before other wildlife as a hurricane approaches. Then, he returns well after clear skies return.
Sebastian just made me rub my eye after getting vinegar on my hand. Ow.
Probably because Sebastian loves Long John Silvers. He will put one of those malt vinegar bottles in his pocket and take it home.
Sebastian is a 1-star waiter at Cracker Barrel. But he will sell you some meth if you need it. Just ask for the creamed spinach if it is before noon, ask for oatmeal in the afternoon.
Sebastian thinks Al Golden was a better coach than Spurrier.
All his life, Sebastian has chased the success of Donald and Daffy Duck, and he has yet to realize he will never come even close in his sad, pathetic way of living.
Not sure what this is all about as I am not familiar with Hokietron. But I found it randomly on YouTube and seemed appropriate...
I remember seeing this guy around campus my last two years in school...has the suit trickled down? Is Hokietron still roaming Blacksburg?
Saw him at Sinkland Farms this weekend. First time I've seen him this year, so I don't know if it was a special guest appearance.
Ibi is a palindrome.
Sebastian arrives to Lane stadium hours before kickoff and promptly disappears about 30 seconds prior to Sandman, only to return quickly after the final whistle of the game.
Before each Hurricane season it is widely believed that he will be back as a leader of animals. But after the first couple of named storms it becomes clear that Sebastian is no more of a leader than he was in his previous miserable year.........
Sebastian always maintains that he is "beak".
Sebastian lives in Florida, under his own will.
People often tell him he's so young he looks just like his daughter, and they could be sisters.
(Insert Family Guy video here)
Sebastian's inbred cousins, the Wood Storks
Although spelled "S-E-B-A-S-T-I-A-N", he insists it's pronounced "Kevin".
Sebastian likes to sit on top of the car wash so he can take a dump on cars right as they come out.
and here I thought I was the only one
The Ibis: the last animal to leave seek shelter before a hurricane approaches.
Incidentally, the first animal to remind everyone about Da U's 5 National Titles even if they have never won the coastal. Whose mating call is "WeeeeBaaaaK". And who thinks they have a great fanbase even if they don't fill their own stadium to 40% capacity.
It's funny that the Miami mascot is an ibis, which leaves right before a hurricane. Because their fans are the exact same way - never to be found when the Hurricanes show up!
Sebastian does the duck face in every post to social media.
Sebastian is considering leaving Miami for Cleveland. He will make his announcement during prime time on ESPN.
Takin' his talons elsewhere. Aw yeah
You can't spell SCUM without UM.
Has nothing to do with the ugly ass duck thing, but it is an incontrovertible & timeless truth.
Sebastian never even chuckles when you tell him "the Hurricanes blow...get it? Blow?"
Sebastian owns multiple cats.
Because Sebastian believes with his whole avian heart that all hurricane warnings issued by the National Weather Services are scams by the system to get people to buy bread and water and thus pump up seasonal profits.
This has to put all the other animals on tilt.
"The IBIS is leaving!"
"No, just wanted to fly up to that tree"
"THERE HE GOES, TROUBLE IS COMING!"
"Nope, just wanted to grab that fish real quick".
Stressful.
Sebastian got his ass kicked by the Hokiebird...literally.
Bwahahahaha
the internet existed in 1996?
Really? Are you serious?
not even remotely
One never knows with you kids...
Sebastian has crabs....
Oh and Sebastians best friend is the dude at the beginning of this video (the rest of it isnt bad either, I guess)
Sebastian the Ibis has bird flu.
That's really Butch Davis in that costume.
Miami has stuck with Sebastian for so long because the mascot suit industry was unsure of how to make this in mascot form.
I'm a (strip club) Solja!
Sebastian was a scolopax albus before going all eudocimus on the rest of the threskiornithidae.
Sebastian got this gig after failing his audition to play Donald Duck, quoting "Hey, it's not ideal, but it's a job. You gotta eat".
Similar to a stork, Sebastian will visit with parents, only he leaves "improper benefits" instead of newborn babies
Sebastian is filing suit against the NCAA for lack of controlling institution.
Sebastian repeatedly gets hit by frisbees because when he hears someone yell "DUCK" at him, he always turns to correct him.
Sebastian uses a stand up desk.
Sebastian is just a snowbird from New York.
Sebastian hope to be a beautiful swan when he grows up.
Sebastian's bill doubles as a rolled-up $100 when he sees horizontal glass.
Sebastian didn't want Willie Pile to disrupt Ken Dorsey's "I want a Heisman" reception.
Sebastian is glad Steve Spurrier is leaving college football.
Sebastian doesn't give a flying you-know-what about a ball... because it's war. And he thinks he's a soldier.
And with his signing bonus he bought a motorcycle, because "Hey, whats the worse that could happen?"
Sebastian hates the little mermaid and was rooting for the chef to catch and cook "that crab whose name I can't remember"
Sebastian insists it's spelled "Sebastienne" because "that's how it's spelled on the continent"