Hatin' On Paul Johnson

I know we haven't been doing these lately.... but it's Paul Johnson! Surely we all need to get this out of our systems.

We all know how he feels about us.

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Comments

Paul Johnson sucks...did I do that right?

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson enjoys being hated on

PJ pees in the shower.

"It's a Hokie takeover of The Hill ... in Charlottesville!" -Bill Roth

Doesnt everyone?

Shoot more like pees in the sink while dishes are still in it.

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

...when you're in it

We put the K in Kwality

There are two types of people in this world

Those who pee in the shower

and

Dirty Fu**ing Liars!

Onward and upward

"I liked you guys a lot better when everybody told you you were terrible." -Justin Fuente

Different pipes lead to different places!!!! And since when is a drain a toilet???
(Sorry I'm a Seinfeld junkie...)

@AMB4VT

Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool of someone else's urine?

Class of '02. GO HOKIES!

Have a leg Kramer

@AMB4VT

Paul Johnson wants #Gameday4Frank.... Tonight!!

Pain is Temporary, Chicks Dig Scars
Glory is Forever, Let's Go Hokies!!

PJ visits recruits and says "I'm kinda a big deal".

"It's a Hokie takeover of The Hill ... in Charlottesville!" -Bill Roth

Paul Johnson just realized that his "wide blockers" can catch passes too

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

Paul Johnson is Paul Johnson

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Dang, you beat me to it.

Probably a Melungeon experiment gone wrong or a case of permanent surprise~

I've done some of my best work with smoke, mirrors, and a muleta!

I will also take this opportunity to hate on this kid. May God have mercy on all our souls who saw that live for the first time.

"Now Miami wants to talk about it." *Cue Enter Sandman*

DO YOU WANT TO CHOKE IN BIG FOOTBALL GAMES?

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

YOU CAN DO THAT!!!!!!

I won't be surprised if that kid shows up on King of the Nerds.

#nerdflailing

Paul Johnson LOVES the Kars for Kids commercials on 106.7 in DC and calls into the shows to request they play them more

"We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior" Stephen M.R. Covey

“When life knocks you down plan to land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up, if you fall flat on your face it can kill your spirit” David Wilson

PJ also thinks Krazy Kevin Powell has a soothing voice....anybody? #WSNC

"Stick it in, stick it in, stick it in!" - William Addison Caldwell, 1872

OMG!! I hate that bleepin guy! I've decided to turn the radio station anytime his commercial comes on.

Paul Johnson spends his weekends driving to rural produce stands in Georgia to steal the 'T' from their signs.

Paul Johnson doesn't understand why it's a bad idea to chop down trees from the top and bottom simultaneously.

Paul Johnson owns stock in hospitals that specialize in reconstructive knee surgery.

Paul Johnson hits the door close button when he sees you running for the elevator.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

...but there's no T in produce...

We put the K in Kwality

There is in stand.

If there's no T he just takes the whole damn sign.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Paul Johnson uses a Zyppah

Paul Johnson looks like the guy that scratches his butt then shakes peoples hands.

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Paul Johnson signed up for FanDuel and DraftKings without using a promo code for either.

Paul Johnson is a dick!

...too direct?

We put the K in Kwality

Paul Johnson was happy that Hatin' On took a hiatus.

Paul Johnson showers before his morning #%*&

@hokie_rd

Paul Johnson loves bourbon.

Did you know I used to be a cop?

God damn it, Mike.

The Orange and Maroon you see, that's fighting on to victory.

Mike never gets it right.

He thinks a mike drop is tripping and falling on the floor.

Paul Johnson thinks Jack Daniels is bourbon.

Don't lie. I saw you two sharing a Zima just last weekend.

Using /s is for cowards.

Paul Johnson uses tinder

and posts pictures of chicks as his profile

Warning: this post occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors)..

Paul Johnson's Tinder profile says "No fat chicks"

I just sit on my couch and b*tch. - HokieChemE2016

Paul Johnson purposely drives through curb puddles to splash old people crossing the street.

Paul Johnson always honks his horn as soon as the light turns green.

Paul Johnson goes the speed limit and then drives in the passing lane every time he goes somewhere

Paul Johnson eat his kids Halloween candy and leaves the wrappers in their bags...

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Paul Johnson is from Maryland?

Paul Johnson likes Fallout Boy.

Looking at you Billdozer.....

Soundtrack for every Marathon Mama'sboy /s

"Welcome to the Terror Dome." -- Corey Moore

Paul Johnson passes you on the freeway, and then goes the same speed as the car beside him in the left lane.

Paul Johnson drives a vehicle that obviously has cruise control and yet never uses it.

Hey, I never use cruise control either... and I am most certainly not Paul Johnson.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Paul Johnson collects sanding blocks because he strongly identifies with worthless tools.

Paul Johnson wears socks with his sandals.

Outspoken team cake advocate. Hates terrapins. Resident Macho Man Gif Poster. Distant cousin to Dork Magic. Frequently misspells words.

Paul Johnson is the itch on the middle of your back when you have 3 layers of sweaters on.

Paul Johnson likes pants.
Paul Johnson doesn't like The Varsity.
Paul Johnson hates the Fuller family.

Paul Johnson does film review in a snuggie

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Paul Johnson has the most punchable face I've ever seen.

"Mountains get big cause they have no natural predators." - Ken M

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

I hate Paul Johnson more than SevenLayersOfPlayers hates Matt Ryan

"Mountains get big cause they have no natural predators." - Ken M

Obligatory Fuck Matt Ryan

Paul Johnson has a dog named Bruiser Woods.
Paul Johnson's favorite condiment is hollandaise sauce.
Paul Johnson insists on using Miracle Whip instead of mayonnaise.
Paul Johnson thinks that John Snow and Glenn are going to create a spinnoff show based loosely on Leverne and Shirley.
Paul Johnson looks like an asshole.

that last one got me

Onward and upward

Paul Johnson is boycotting starbucks

Paul Johnson instagrams every meal

Paul Johnson's cousin owns Abercrombie and Fitch

(for reference)

Onward and upward

Paul Johnson is boycotting Starbucks because their cups don't have a removable "t."

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Paul Johnson doesn't understand how to pronounce "Kevin".

We put the K in Kwality

the silent "v" is tricky

Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

Paul Johnson thinks that there are three options for how to pronounce that.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Paul Johnson denies the existence of the TE position.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Dagnabbit newfangled footballers and their precious "forward passes" and "tight ends".

It won't work, I tell ya!

Cause he doesn't know they are eligible to catch passes.

We put the K in Kwality

Paul Johnson has a butt chin

"The Big Ten is always using excuses to cancel games with us. First Wisconsin. Then Wisconsin. After that, Wisconsin. The subsequent cancellation with Wisconsin comes to mind too. Now Penn State. What's next? Wisconsin?" -HorseOnATreadmill

Paul Johnson prank calls retirement homes and asks "is your refrigerator running? well, you better go catch it."

Paul Johnson doesn't have a johnson

Paul Johnson stops in the middle of on-ramps instead of using the entire merge lane....ya know, cuz cars are coming....

"Stick it in, stick it in, stick it in!" - William Addison Caldwell, 1872

Paul Johnson once did an "upper decker" at Hokie House

Sum bitchin Paul Johnson and his sum bitchin offense!

Everyday, Paul Johnson creates a new forum topic on TKP called: "RichRod for VT HC! Let's discuss!"

Paul Johnson employs the triple option offense at a school that isn't a military academy.

Paul Johnson counts how many times he can be caught on TV yelling at his players.

That might be too long.

Paul Johnson has never heard himself (Johnson) described as too long.

PJ thinks knees were meant to be replaced at 30 years old.

PJ thinks Ned Stark had it coming

PJ is the guy at Chipotle who wants a Quesarito during the lunch rush

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

Paul Johnson vapes.

"Now Miami wants to talk about it." *Cue Enter Sandman*

PJ cropdusts the veggie section at the grocery store.

Wait, that's me.

Now that you mention it, I think he may have gone by me at a theater once.

Paul Johnson wears Crocs

I'm here for the memes, I just stay for the football.

... with socks.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Paul Johnson thinks Golden Corral is a "helluva streak house"

...yeah...who doesn't?

Onward and upward

Maybe that's why he's not allowed back.

"Exit light..."

Paul Johnson is the driving force behind Russell Athletic outfitting GT teams.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

One more, then I'm driving home.

Paul Johnson doesn't miss "Foe"Rensics one bit because he never understood the humor.

No, I *don't* want to go to the SEC. Why do you ask?

We don't love dem Hoos.

Paul Johnson uses an abacus because he thinks slide rules are just a passing fad.

Leonard. Duh.

... And he uses a sundial because he missed the class on what solar power is all about

Paul Johnson passed out floss on Halloween

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken" - Colonel Sanders via Ricky Bobby

I heard it wasn't even mint flavored.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

As a VT grad who has been a prof at GT for the last 21 years, let me say it is easy: "Go Tech!!!" works at both places and "Screw UVA" is very close to "Screw UGA". . Very easy to like both quality places. GO TECH!!!

The older I get, the better I was...Go Hokies!!!

Paul Johnson goes to Burger King and orders chicken fries, the sticks two under his upper lip and says, "hey, look at me! I'm a Paul-rus!"

Then he just laughs and laughs.

Paul Johnson is actually Grandma Utz.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K

Paul Johnson says "supposively" and chop blocks people coming out of the eye doctor that have had their eyes dilated~

I've done some of my best work with smoke, mirrors, and a muleta!

When Paul Johnson arrived at Georgia Tech, his father Navin bequeathed unto him the family trade.

Paul Johnson never beat Frank on a Thursday.

Get the man some aloe.

We put the K in Kwality

and never will!!!

I've done some of my best work with smoke, mirrors, and a muleta!

Real pic of Paul Johnson

There is nothing in the world like Thursday night in Blacksburg!

Paul Johnson can't believe that Frank made that face on live television. He'd never be caught dead doing something like that.

2026 Season Challenge: TBD
Previous Challenges: Star Wars (2019), Marvel (2020), Batman (2021), Wrasslin' (2022)

Paul Johnson poses as your college ex-girlfriend and comments "See I knew you'd warm up to that tie I bought you for Christmas" on your new wedding photos...