The first Monday of the first game week means it's time for Hatin' On! This week's subject is the head coach of the Liberty Flames: Turner Gill
Time to unleash the entire offseason of frustration, boys and girls!
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Turner's Grill is better.
via GIPHY
Turner Gill doesn't know who Harambe is.
I feel like this could be showing up on a weekly basis
I'll be the one to ask... Did something new happen that I missed or is it still just about the ape? That was months ago and I honestly don't understand why it's suddenly become or still is a joke.
I think it's a sort of meta joke about the internet outrage mob that comes out of the woodwork every time an animal gets killed.
See: Cecil the Lion
Also, last week the Cincy Zoo had to close down their social media because people would constantly respond with Harambe jokes in the vein of 'your momma' jokes.
Ex:
"Your dog likes bones" -> "Your mom likes bones"
"Cincy Zoo is open until 10 PM tonight" -> "Harambe used to like doing things at 10 PM"
Apparently they were pummeled with stuff like this so they quit
It was provoked, largely, by the Cincy Zoo tweeting to stop making memes about Harambe. It was just settling down and they had to stir the pot.
Definitely a flavor of the month Hatin' On. I'll bring more next time.
I had heard that but I still didn't get the humor aspect. It seems like it was essentially a troll response to the zoo request that has now gone viral to the masses, which is ironic since the troll response was to mock the response (outrage) over these types of events perpetuated by the masses. So the joke was initially that the masses get outraged over ridiculous things but the masses took to joking about the outrage? I'm not even 30 and I'm getting old for this shit.
It essentially boils down to fratty social media giants like Barstool, Total Frat Move, and Old Row turning it into some kind of joke that makes little to no sense.
However, I am now 30 years old and use these three sites to keep me young and hip. It allows me to speak in terms that the younger people I work with can understand. My wife hates it, but I actually enjoy running around shouting "Dicks out for Harambe" and not having any clue what or why I am doing so.
PS. Turner Gill doesnt think Saturdays are for the boys.
#DICKSOUT
FTFY
Too soon?
Turner Gill looks like he has a finger and a thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead.
Turner Gill stands to wipe
And proceeds to do so back to front.
ewww gross
Hm..do you guys not stand? Am I alone here
I stand with you.
I mean, it's more of a lean, per se.
Turner pronounces the "G" in his last name with a "J" sound. If you pronounce it wrong he goes on a tirade about how the creator of his name pronounced it that way.
I watched this Jiff a hundred times before I realized how the guy on the right appears twice in the same frame before it resets.
If you watch the background to the left of the tree it shifts while the right side doesn't, but really it's some straight dork magic edit: my dyslexia kicked in there, the right of the tree
Turner Gill sits when he pees.
Turner Gill enjoys Matt Ryan's candor.
Turner Gill plays pokemon go while driving.
Turner Gill made Liberty's football stadium a Poke Stop in order to boost recruiting
Turner Gill chose team Mystic and brags about how he was the only one at first and now everyone stole his idea.
Turner Gill was going to be original name of Winston Groom's protagonist until he decided it sounded too fake and he went with Forrest Gump instead.
Turner Gill wishes the off-season wasn't over yet.
Turner Gill thinks Liberty is Virginia's flagship university.
Turner Gill thinks Liberty is Lynchburg's flagship college
Turner Gill thinks tight ends can't play quarterback.
Turner Gill would rather coach for LOLUVA.
Dude that is low.
Turner Gill puts water in his cereal
Turner Gill puts ketchup on his steak
Turner Gill isn't a member of TKP club.
Turner Gill has two last names
Turner Gill brags that he has two first names.
Turner Gill does not separate his silverware from his plates/bowls at Panera Bread. He leaves them all in the same container.
Turner Gill likes to help old ladies to their cars with their groceries. But he doesn't ask about their grandkids.
Turner Gill thinks Emma Watson gifs are used too much.
Turner Gill prefers mayo based BBQ sauces
Blasphemy.
Turner Gill is still preparing for Lawson to start
Turner Gill's a codfish.
If my dog were as ugly as Turner Gill, I would shave his butt, and tell him to walk backwards.
via GIPHY
Turner Gill parks in the handicap spots
Turner Gill follows you all the way back to your car down a crowded parking lot aisle because he wants your space, but then he doesn't give you enough room to back out of it.
Turner Gill pees on the toilet seat and leaves it
This is Turner Gill's jam.
https://youtu.be/C-dc9nHwC2w
Turner Gill steals one puzzle piece from a puzzle just to fuck with you.
Turner Gill looks like a younger Mike London... Timeouts for everyone
Give us Liberty and we give them death!! 50 points to their Zip.
Turner Gill prefers the incorrect style of BBQ sauce.
Turner Gill prefers a dry rub. ;)
Turner Gill writes "he was here" on bathroom stalls.
Failed at Kansas
Even Turner Gill doesn't know where Liberty University is.
Turner Gill thinks Trix are for adults.
When they gave him a bowl, Turner Gill didn't like Life cereal.
Turner Gill agrees with Mike London's timeout strategy.
Turner Gill coaches at Liberty University
Can't leg this enough.
Turner Gill still isn't sold on Justin Fuente's coaching and recruiting ability.
Turner Gill thought we should have hired Rich Rod rather than CJF.
Waits patiently for little girl shaking brush.
3....2....1...
Turner Gill thinks you have run this gif into the ground but will then proceed to use it in another context
Turner Gill thinks the Big Lebowski is a good movie
o.O
There's one every week...
Someone add this to the TKP meme tracker.
I think it's almost always, if not always, me. Might not be memeworthy
I know what you meant. The Big Lebowski is actually a GREAT movie, amirite?
Joe, can you please lift any restrictions on the number of legs I can give this?
DRINK
Yeah on my work computer his gif didn't show up plus his gif is way better quality to legs for him and you
Turner Gill thinks Labor Day is a celebration of expectant mothers.
He also spells it labour, which is worse.
The "sweet land of Liberty" also only applies to Lynchburg in his world.
Turner Gill leaves time on the microwave when he's done.
Turner Gill sits during the national anthem. Too soon?
TG slows down at yellow lights with plenty of time to drive though, then decides to go at the last second, while you get stuck at the red light because of his idiocy
So he is from Maryland.
Turner Gill only served hamburgers and hot dogs at the team barbecue.
My new roommates insist on calling cookouts a barbecue and it is slowly driving me insane.
There's nothing for it. You're going to have to put on a pig pickin' to show them what a barbecue truly is.
Look first and foremost, barbecue is a noun not a verb. It is something you eat (appreciatively) not something you do.
Oh, no, you most definitely do barbecue a pig. And then you host a barbecue to feed all of your friends.
Turner Gill doesn't comply with the new clear bag policy.
And then drops F-bombs in front of little kids in Lane.
Well that's probably because Turner Gill doesn't think small children should be allowed at football games.
Turner Gill insists everyone call him "Kevin".
...wait that's not an insult...
Turner Gill blames his farts on the dog.
Turner Gill thinks fart jokes are the highest form of humor
Turner Gill endorses both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.
Turner Gill's middle name is Hillery.
True story, actually.
Since he and I live in the Lynchburg area I'll keep mine Lynchburg specific:
Turner Gill thinks Dominos has the best pizza in Lynchburg. (we have a shit ton of better pizza places)
Turner Gill sees movies at the Dollar Theater (I know this because I used the pisser next to him one time)
Turner Gill goes to Devils Backbone and Blue Mountain and asks for Bud Light (but not really because he works for Liberty).
EDIT: there's also this.
So what you're saying is, Turner Gill uses the urinal right next to you, even when others are open. Got it.
It was busy I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
There is no benefit of the doubt in a Hatin' On thread.
The sad truth is no matter what kind of beer you ask for at Devil's Backbone, it supports ABInBev.
Yeah I should have said "Turner Gill still supports Devil's Backbone."
Turner Gill thinks OIP makes crappy pies.
Turner Gill liked it better before they put in the 460 bypass.
Turner Gill thinks the LU shrubbery isn't nearly big enough.
Turner Gill pushes kids down the cargo nets at Amazement Square.
Turner Gill takes 20 minutes to explain how to get to Chick Fil A...on a Sunday.
Turner Gill thinks the LU Monogram should extend across the entire mountain face.
Turner Gill thinks Cold Stone is better than Mister Goodies.
Turner Gill thinks Ruby Tuesday should have stayed open.
Turner Gill thinks Wards Road traffic is at an acceptable level of service.
Turner Gill thinks Putt Putt is the best mini golf in town.
Turner Gill neglects Apocalypse entirely.
Turner Gill orders water and a salad at Brauburger.
Turner Gill thinks the service at El Jefe is above average, and prefers their tacos to Tacos Locos.
Turner Gill legally changed his surname to Falwell, just to fit in with everything else in town.
Turner Gill believes the court's greatest failure was their decision in Hustler v Falwell.
Turner Gill cancels one flight a day out of LYH.
Turner Gill doesn't see what makes Thomas Jefferson's Forest so damn poplar.
I could do this all day and still love it.
I had no idea we had so many Lynchburg Hokies here! These all had me cracking up.
Let's make a special note how poorly the former Nebraska QB, with no pass rush, managed to under-throw that ball/throw behind the receiver. Yikes...
RP all the way!
Turner Gill once willingly took a job at Kansas because he heard they beat VT in the Orange Bowl.
Tuner Gill uses decaffinated crystals for his coffee
That's a good move, you'll Sanka him later.
Turner Gill gets stuck outside the stadium because he doesn't have a ticket.
https://youtu.be/_9eXwtUY2io
Turner Gil starts each day by listening to Skip Bayless, then Paul Finebaum. And he says it's the best part of his day.
Turner Gill thinks Danny didn't catch it
Turner Gill thinks Beamer retired about 29 years too late.
Turner Gill PLAYS BALL LIKE A GIRL
Turner Gill bobs apples from the toilet, and he likes it!
Those aren't apples!
Turner Gill doesn't chew Big Red.
1 - Turner Gill thinks Kanye is a reasonable, even-keeled individual.
1a - Turner Gill doesn't get the fish sticks joke.
Turner Gill copped the new Yeezy Boosts for $50, only to find out the soles consisted of cardboard.
Turner Gill sleeps with one eye open while gripping his pillow tight.
Turner Gill is famous for saying, "Give me Liberty or give me Tech."
Well, he has Liberty, but I suspect Tech is going to give it to him, as well.
Turner Gill threatens to turn the car around and go home if the kids aren't quiet.... Then actually does it.
Shoot... we share something in common!
Turner Gill thinks the Statue of Liberty is just a bronze likeness of Jerry Falwell.
Turner Gill doesn't return his shopping cart to the corral. He just leaves it in the parking space.
All I have to say to Coach Gill is:
He does at Aldi to get his quarter back.
Butch Jones doesn't...........
Starting early..... I like it.
That's not true! I am saving my extra quarters to buy Josh Dobbs some eyebrows.
It's pronounced "Jacory"
Turner Gill thinks 12:30 is the best time slot for football.
Turner Gill daydreams about Lawson transferring if Liberty could somehow beat Tech.
Turner Gill drives at exactly the speed limit in the left lane
Turner Gill has had Carol Lee donuts and claims he wasn't impressed.
Gurner Till
Turner Gill takes selfies with duck face
Turner Gill does not like Chipotle.
Wait I thought we were supposed to hate him not like him?
Turner Gill tells his kids they're going to disney world, then drives straight to the dentist.
Turner Gill is worse than Toby Flenderson.
Turner Gill walks both of his great danes past your house every morning, refuses to pick up their poop and insists its "fertilizing" your lawn.
...and gets mad when you pick it up and throw it at him!
Sounds like you need to talk about something.
Turner Gill listens to Nickelback before every game
Don't you bad mouth Nickelback. And don't even think about saying anything about Creed
Edit: Turner Gill definitely does like Creed
Hot take: I don't find anything wrong with Nickleback. They're the same as every other pop musician.
Until you notice what's on the Back of a Nickel
Turner Gill wears mis-matched socks...
...on purpose
Tuner Gill is a 13-year old girl?
....if that's a thing 13-year old girls do...then yes. I must admit, I'm a bit out of touch from that demographic
My research is based off of my 13 year-old niece. They actually sell mismatched socks as a thing. I started twitching when she told me.
http://littlemissmatched.com/t/category/girls-socks/top-selling-socks
my nieces (and I have plenty of them) haven't gotten to that age yet...they're all under 10 still....I don't doubt that it's a thing...I wasn't really thinking of this type of mismatch...more along the lines of
... with Mickey Mouse Crocs!
Turner Gill sits in the stall right next to you, avoiding the 15 other empty stalls.....
Turner Gill hates pennies...he only tips with pennies
Turner Gill isn't sad at Gene Wilder passing :(
Turner Gill doesn't get what the big deal is. He's not a fan of any of Gene Wilder's movies.
Turner Gill doesn't understand who Abby Normal is.
Turner Gill makes you ask for a courtesy flush.
Then promptly denies your request for said courtesy flush.
Turner Gill loves the Phantom Menace.
...and thinks Shoots and Ladders is something completely different...
There's no stategy to Chutes and Ladders!
TG was late for last week's press conference.
When asked why, he said that he had a cereal problem. He explained that every morning he had a bowl of Total Cereal for breakfast.
He went on to say that this morning he found the box of Total completely empty.
When the rest of the group stared back with dumbfounded looks: Coach said that he had to eat 7 bowls of that other cereal to equal 1 bowl of Total.
How does this not have more legs???
Turner Gill brings his pet cats on cross country flights.
Turner Gill curls in the squat rack.
Turner Gill thinks Stewart Mandels preseason predictions are very accurate
Turner Gill's name is Turner Gill...... Turner...Gill.....
Turner Gill will take your mom out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.
LOOGIT ^^^^ SHINY NEW KEY
Anyway, Turner Gill won't stop making "Turner, I hardly know her!" jokes
I present you with a club upvote.
Turner Gill thinks the new Ghostbusters is better than the original
Turner Gill thinks Caddyshack needs a remake, starring Zack Galifianakis.
Oooo that'd be really good!
Turner Gill insists it's Sam Rodgers.
Dang I was going to save that one for Butch next week. Well played.
Turner Gill likes the strawberries from Egypt.
TG said Greedo shot first.
Turner Gill thinks Johnny Depp was a way better Wiil Wonka than Gene Wilder.
Turner Gill thinks French can't tell a Bear front from 4-4 G coverage
Turner Gill sends you Vampire requests on facebook
Turner Gill only gets one plate at D2
When I used to go to Dietric, I always had #2...
I had at least 3 if not 4...
Probably explains why I gained 35lbs from the start of Freshman year through Thanksgiving of Freshman year.
He pooped.....
Turner Gill likes the band One Direction
Turner Gill thinks Bucky is only 6' 5"
Turner Gill is offended by the term Pussy Touchdowns
Turner Gill thinks the all-women cast was the main reason the new Ghostbusters sucked
It wasn't??
Turner Gill uses Doggy Dental Spray so the neighbor's dog won't bite him.
Turner Gill thinks Nick Acree goes a little overboard with S&C.
Turner Gill thinks Jar Jar Binks was the best Star Wars character.
What do you mean "was?"
Turner Gill skips mandatory convocation to eat breakfast at Golden Coral.
Makes his players run lap when caught skipping Convocation.
(All members of LU are required to attend convocation)
Turner Gill thinks garlic is "spicy".
Turner Gill thinks flyovers before games are not cool.
Turner Gill didn't think it was a catch.
Turner Gill brings donuts to the student's at "Gillville" the morning of Liberty's home football games that aren't from Carol Lee. Video Proof:
Turner Gill has the same initials as Torrian Gray
So basically you're saying when Turner Gill comes to your house to visit you he completely ignores your mom.
so far, he's done that exact thing every time
Turner Gill is not good.
Turner Gill is bad.
Turner Gill signs you up for political groups on Facebook without your knowledge.
Tuner Gill farted into my pillow.
And Bob costas's pillow during the Sochi Olympics
Turner Gill thinks it would be "kinda hip" for Larry Fedora to wear a Fedora at all times
Turner Gill is team pie
Hatin' on, you're doing it wrong.
Turner Gill drinks Zima.
Turner Gill thinks Lane Stadium is too loud.
Turner Gill thinks the offensive line should be allowed to move before the snap.