The Frank Beamer Retirement Chronicles is The Key Play's effort to chronicle Beamer's retirement adventures, encounters, and social media appearances. Complete archives.
Frank Beamer won't make the trip to Notre Dame to watch the Hokies take on the Irish. Instead, the former Virginia Tech head coach will attend the Miss Virginia USA and Miss Virginia Teen USA State Pageant at the Moss Arts Center.
You can't make this up, Coach Beamer just told the @NBCSports crew that he can't make the game at ND because he's judging a beauty pageant— VT Football (@VT_Football) November 16, 2016
Although, he will not be judging, after all he couldn't dole out double-zeros as a score. Rather, he will motivate the contestants, answer questions, and hand out trophies.
"He is actually giving the girls a pep talk like he would do the football players in the locker room," Kim Nicewonder, executive director of the Miss Virginia USA® and Miss Virginia Teen USA® State Pageant told [WaPo's Dan Steinberg] in an exclusive interview. "What's kind of interesting is that his pep talks that he's used to doing in the locker room, he's taking it in a little different direction this year and he's going to be giving a pep talk to the Miss Virginia USA® contestants before they compete in the final night. This is a pep talk on stage, in a glamorous evening gown instead of a football jersey, and he will be presenting his pep talk to a group of beautiful, good-smelling women rather than dirty stinky sweaty football players."
That formalwear round will get after ya.
Comments
Haha I just saw this on ESPN. Surprised Frank wont be making the trip. That is a great photo shop there!
May God have mercy upon his soul if he encounters a contestant similar to her....
It's so hard to listen to, but Jesus Christ is that hard to read.
The left side of the picture is easier
wonder if she went to UNC
All I know is when she yells "Go Cocks!", people listen.
You get award for best laugh of the day.
South Carolina
Appalachian State if I remember correctly
Still above the mendoza line.
I busted out laughing a few times while I made that image, and I busted out laughing again seeing at the top of this post. Thanks, Joe.
Outstanding work, Sir.
The name of the director for the beauty pageants is Kim Nicewonder?!
You've got to be kidding me
....who interestingly enough, was once married to former Hokie and Dallas Cowboy Steve Johnson!
Does this mean her name is now Kim Nice-Johnson?
*sigh* that's turrible... you can see yourself out, HOAT
poty!
Actually I think it's Kim Nice-WonderJohnson...
"Y'know, those ladies up there, they're very good. Very good group of ladies, extremely talented. They'll get after ya in the evening gown section and those swimsuits can make a real difference in the contest. They have that one kid, she's reminds me of a lot of the greats. Very steady under pressure. She's gonna go far and y'know that you're going to get their best shot each and every time you see 'em."
#CoachCongeniality
"I blacked out, what happened??"
Oh lawd, my world is spinning....
I think it best that I just let this thread be.
Ummmm...Confession time. I have been a long time lurker and just created an account last night with the intent of commenting on this thread. There have been many a thread that I have considered commenting on the past but this news is pure gold. Why doesn't this have more comments?
I love everything about CFB and hope my retirement will be as adventuresome as what he is making his.
The Retirement Chronicles series is cool but doesn't generate much discussion; it's not like there are really topics to debate. It's just fun news, and usually fewer comments than many other threads just by the nature of what they are.
There are always ways to extend the longevity of a thread. Even if it's on a topic that people don't look Ford to as much...
One simply Mustang around long enough and he will be sure to see a pun thread...
Somebody Escort this guy out
Listen we can Settle this right here and now. No need to go Fullwood on the thread
TACO BELL!
Fuck Matt Ryan.
Fuck Pat Narduzzi!
I also just created an account to comment on this thread. It hit 2 ways for me.
1- I can contribute to the CFB retirement chronicles. I saw him in the Wal-Mart where I live a few weeks back. We live about 30 minutes south of UGA (where Shane coaches) and 30 minutes west of Lake Oconee - where CFB owns his lake house.
So I walk in the Wally World, and there he is, waiting for Mrs. CFB to get a cart. I said hi and talked for 30 seconds. I think he was grateful that I didn't want to start taking pictures and shop with him. It was very cool.
2- I actually dated Miss Teen VA when I was at VT. Similar to above. She was easy on the eyes, but light on the IQ.
Seemed relevant to this thread to me!
Welcome VTREADS!
I know the current Miss Blacksburg, she's a pretty cool person.
#humblebrag
jk man
She actually fenced for a couple of semesters back in 09-10.
Name dropper.
One up: My daughter was Miss Lakeside, Va. and earned a 1000.00 scholarship to VT.
Boom!
Beamer to 1st Runner-up: "You were one block away..."
Beamer to 2nd Runner-up: "Those 2 will get after ya...:
/s
I get so little time lately to get on here, and when I do this is the first thing I end up looking at.
Hey look, French's favorite movie!!
Frank knows how to treat a beauty queen:
Frank needs to request "Color My World" and pull it in tighter.
This man has his priorities straight
Moar picz of byootee queenz plz k thankz bye
via GIPHY
He's allowed to say Bootie!!! Look at that pirate avatar!
Anybody able to provide an updat? Who won and how motivated was she? Any of the ladies drop a "Get after ya" in the post pageant interview and the dance on a trainer's table backstage?